Fading Gem...

I thought that this group thrived on honesty...if so why do the fade and not tell a girl that your not interested...

just asking....

Long distance relationship, but saw him 10 days out of the month. Went into his busy season around the holidays and has been working nonstop since then...ie not home for any length of time since. Called a few times in November, text a few times December, returned some text from me in January, at which time stated that he would be home in middle of February, got home last Monday (heard this through a mutual friend), and still no word.

you're not in a long distance RELATIONSHIP... sorry. Move on. He's just not that into you - a=he probably doesn't see the point of telling you this outright. Sometimes it's better to just cool off things and let them die of natural causes. Why break someone's heart verbally? Why drive a nail in when it's gentler to fade...

There is nothing that can stop a man from calling a woman if he wants to. I'm sorry, but you should move on.

Roamingfree...I was in a long distance relationship and yes, I get it that he is just not into me, but a man, by that i mean a real man, to step up to the plate and just say it. By fading it leaves the responsibility on the person that is being faded out to figure it out. By your response, I get that you feel uncomfortable with conflict, but if you cared for the person being uncomfortable for a minute is not so bad. It shows respect, but then again this is my view😉

It's easier to just stop coming around and hope a relationship fades out than to hurt someone. If you don't show up, maybe they'll just forget and move on. Of course, it's still hurtful, but somehow seems a little better. Unless you're on the receiving end...then it just seems rude and cowardly.

And, I, personally, will lie my ass off to keep from hurting someone's feelings. That's pretty much the ONLY time I'll lie.

Posted by lucy711

... I was in a long distance relationship and yes, I get it that he is just not into me, but a man, by that i mean a real man, to step up to the plate and just say it. By fading it leaves the responsibility on the person that is being faded out to figure it out.

Two things:

1. You weren't in a relationship with him .. you were in a fantasy, where you were wishing to be in a relationship. Two people HAVE to be in close proximity of each other in order for chemistry to exist. According to what you wrote, there was never a time (after he met you in person) that he yearned for you to be near him.

Why the hell after that first meeting (and him not wanting you to be right next to him) that you continued to submerge yourself into this fantasy is beyond me = the rational mind.

2. For him to not communicate to you isn't indicative of his being in real man terms .. because he was never your man, to have to act like it.

He has zero obligation in telling you anything ... and secondly, you've got the drift, so why don't you stand up to your fucking self, and tell yourself that you "got" it, wake up now.

I just went through to see that you've made a couple threads in here and people have been telling you the same thing over and over, and again ... are you brain dead?

How many times does it take to hear the same fucking information for the mind to have an "ah-ha" moment?

The man doesn't want you .... grow some fucking honor and dignity and walk the fuck away !!!

The longer you sit there and pine away for someone who doesn't want you is the longer you allow yourself to be a fool.

:::: shakes head ::::

What the fuck is the matter with people?

Thanks P Angle for your kind words.

That's the problem with the fade, the person being faded out is the one responsible to figure it out, yes it has taken me a bit of time, but life is a work in progress. I am so grateful for people like you who hand out such positive advice.

P-Angel:

Just reread your very supportive misinformed post and I should make some clarifications to your points that you so kindly made.

1. I had known this man for 7 years prior to dating him and we were friends, which means that we had a discussion prior to dating of what that meant.

2. We dated for seven months and he was home for two weeks out of every month prior to his departure in September. In August we vacationed together.

I have not read any of your post but form I gather you tend to be somewhat negative. I feel sorry that you have decided to be the ballbuster on the gemini board...You must save all of your positive energy for your family.

Posted by lucy711
P-Angel:

I had known this man for 7 years prior to dating him and we were friends, which means that we had a discussion prior to dating of what that meant.

click to expand

Oh of course, you two are such great friends, having discussions .. how wonderful for you that you have such a guy so great that you would use the above to prove it.

Now what was your question?

Oh yes ...

Posted by lucy711

I don't do stupid people very well .. and you've proven to be one.

I'm telling you to move the fuck on because this guy doesn't want you, and to continue pining away for a man who isn't into you does nothing except make you look like a fool.

and you think that's negative information.

Negative because ——————

.. you want to believe that he's right for you, he's awesome and how the hell do you get him back, is the only thing you want to know .. and to lower yourself to that, you think is positive.

Right, gotcha ..... suffer as you wish

Meanwhile .... we all love a good laugh, and since you don't mind being the fool, continue to post the shit for us - thanks

Oh Dear so heartlessly cold P. No mincing words aye. Ahhh but so true. You do make me smile though with your comments, I prefer blunt to beating round the bush. Il be a bit scared of ya though if i do a thread, il just make sure im not after any sympathy.

Not suffering at all...or pining...just read the post...commenting on honesty/gemini's and the fade...

you are the one that looks a little treetrunked up...how people on this board have put up with your negativity for so long is beyond me...but then again you are from the planet Neptune:

"Neptune's composition is probably similar to Uranus': various "ices" and rock with about 15% hydrogen and a little helium. Like Uranus, but unlike Jupiter and Saturn, it may not have a distinct internal layering but rather to be more or less uniform in composition. But there is most likely a small core (about the mass of the Earth) of rocky material. Its atmosphere is mostly hydrogen and helium with a small amount of methane."

http://nineplanets.org/neptune.html

You're not even able to comprehend what I'm telling you, what people in your other threads have been telling you .... so why should he bother to tell you anything?

He's not your man, he has no obligation to provide you with words that you're not going to get anyway, due to you not wanting to hear the truth because it might not coincide with your expectations.

suffer as you wish ....