Silent Treatment

Hello my wonderful Gem's! Hope you are having a better week (mine seems to be dull lately with all the troubles hiding out right now).

So I have a question for you twins.

How do you handle the silent treatment?

Right now the Scorpio and I had a knock down drag out fight which in turn caused the silent treatment on HIS part even though mind you this argument was started by him. Asked him not to push it, he still did, so we fought and terribly so. We started to talk again on Friday night (5/4/12) but he was SO unbelievably rude and vindictive stinging me over and over again for nothing so now I am giving HIM the silent treatment.

What makes me angry is that he is such a jerk that he won't even apologize for anything, hasn't written me or contacted me. As far as I am concerned the more this goes on the more angry I get and vice versa. I knew he was giving me the silent treatment because he wants me to crack and chase him down.

Let's get one thing straight. Females are NOT the hunters, that is a MAN'S JOB! So I am not handling this very well. But I keep remembering how mad I am that keeps me from chasing him.

I know right. Well here is the thing he never has returned even after he has been guilty for many arguments and dumping me before. I don't know what his problem is but maybe he likes to be miserable. Whatever. Im a little peeved but Ive been doing my own thing. Who knows maybe he will say something maybe he won't.

I've been reading a lot too lately so it's really nice. I loooove to read 🙂

scorp dudes are yuk. they are so full of themselves even if its only superficial. you'll probably get into some 'competitive ignoring' after your flip reverse on the silent treatment....those buggers can ignore you for a lifetime when they're firmly rooted up their own backsides.

of course, the ladies are faaaabulous 🙂

my first time ever on the gem board!! can i have a badge?

@R1g0r

Hi welcome! Yay! One of my fav Scorpio's in our midst! Thank you for adding your opinion!

I know you're right. I think ill just cut my losses if he comes back ok, if not ok. Not really going to sweat over it. 🙂

@ZZZ

You know what is funny our charts aren't too far from each other. Go Lib moons! Yeahhhh girrrrl! We would have hours of fun being awesome LOL!

Sounds like you don't mind playing for attention one bit.

Two people who are seriously into each other, respectively, don't participate in games for attention.

That doesn't seem to bother you .. the only bother I can detect from you is who is currently winning.






::::: shakes head :::::

*Ignores the troll*

Roxi is a Lib moon too? That's bad ass! *Group huglets✨

Posted by anearthygemini

Posted by Xin
I know right. Well here is the thing he never has returned even after he has been guilty for many arguments and dumping me before. I don't know what his problem is but maybe he likes to be miserable. Whatever. Im a little peeved but Ive been doing my own thing. Who knows maybe he will say something maybe he won't.

I've been reading a lot too lately so it's really nice. I loooove to read 🙂

All I can say is good luck to you. I can't stand being chased around with arguments. I need peace.

I admire your fighting spirit, but I??d have started questioning a long while back, —what am I fighting for, what do I gain from this— Is he worth it? Is he a prize worth fighting for?

Anyway, enjoy your peace! 🙂

click to expand

Honestly Earth I have no idea where my fighting spirit comes from seeing I have a lot of air placements and a few earth. I never understood it. Oh and a few fire, but anyways. Yes I have thought about this I will enjoy my peace and quiet. 🙂

oh wow...it's so COOL here!!

yeah, i have the curse of the libra moon. so drippy and people pleasey it makes me sick but i like beautiful things apparently which is a totally pointless quality.

i had a sneaky suspicion you gems would be good for scorp boy-bashing and i fancied joining in 🙂

i tell you another thing about them....they always get arsey about something that is totally unrelated to the real issue that's bugging them. scorp women do that too. i remember my marriage nearly ended 10 years before it did cos of a fight over a bar of soap...and i tell no lie, lol. HE DIDN'T PUT IT BACK IN ITS DISH AND LEFT SOAPIE RESIDUE ON THE SINK!!!

if that's not grounds for divorce, what the hell is!

@R1g0r

Yeah that's a bit funny (probably wasn't at the time). But yes he is also guilty of it. Mostly of being hypocritical. It's awful. So I just felt like I needed some me time. That and he plays a video game more than he speaks to me (he is on it from 4PM to 7AM). So eh I might as well enjoy my alone time.

Do you do the silent treatment R1g0r?

Awe thanks Earth! I really appreciate the look into that. I had no idea where it came from. Here I am sitting and thinking "Wow why do I get so upset about issues in my relationships?" Honestly I just want things to be fair and equal, everyone given a fair chance. And absolutely hit that right on with the "power struggles". That is what I usually have a problem with in all of my relationships, including with my family. I told someone once "No one tells me what to do, even my mother knows not to do that." LOL!

***Update***

So far the silent treatment has reached day four. He has been doing small things though to try to get my attention like signing on and off his chat programs and games that we both play. Last night he was purposely avoiding me for hours. He sees me log on and he logs off or goes invisible. I think it's funny because it's like he wants ME to come to him and talk. I'm prepared for the long run in this. I am not the hunter, he should be. Women shouldn't have to chase a man around. Not doing it. I won't. I've done it before and I am not doing it again NOPE. I am definitely cranky though that he hasn't even found his balls yet to say one word to me. And I will be honest. This wasn't me this time, this whole stupid fucking fight.

Ok...ok I'm calm. Just needed to vent 🙂

Posted by Xin
@R1g0r

Yeah that's a bit funny (probably wasn't at the time). But yes he is also guilty of it. Mostly of being hypocritical. It's awful. So I just felt like I needed some me time. That and he plays a video game more than he speaks to me (he is on it from 4PM to 7AM). So eh I might as well enjoy my alone time.

Do you do the silent treatment R1g0r?

absolutely!! i have a phd in doing the silent treatment. reasons for it vary though. usually just can't be arsed to talk to someone. sometimes it's intentional and sometimes, it's complete absent mindedness, lol...don't know what's worse really.

Hey at least you admit it 🙂

thing is though xin, when i'm on the receiving end of the silent treatment, i imagine that person to be living their lives completely oblivious to my existence but when i'm being silent, i'm usually tearing myself apart with angst.

I have had homosexual relationship experiences with scorpios each one, from the very outset, was catastrophic sting after sting to my raw and vulnerable flesh.

A Scorpio giving the silent treatment? How can you even tell?

LOL. You have to pry conversation out of those guys with crowbars.

And just go ahead and get used to never getting an apology...even when it's clear he's dead wrong.

Yes, he DOES like being miserable! Get used to that, too.

Your consolation will be that the virtues of a good Scorpio outweight the negatives.

Well just an update.

He is probably going to give me the silent treatment now after another Scorpio friend of mine stung the living shit out of him last night. But as you know he is a Scorpio too so he was protected with that armor but I wasn't. So he shows up to where I was at to force his presence on me and my friends, because I was angry with him for completely ignoring me the other day while he was begging me to talk to him. Okay? He just up and leaves. So I was like that's it. I stopped talking to him.

He finds out where I was hanging out and shows up and one of my Scorpio bff's, he gets up and proceeds to badger him with things I have told him about the guy I have so much trouble with. Needless to say the dirty laundry was definitely aired out publicly and I was told "You are dead to me". I couldn't help my friends reaction. He was trying to protect me seeing I was almost in tears when he shows up to make me feel like shit.

Sigh. At least my other Scorpio friend stuck up for me. But now my Scorpio is infuriated. I guess it was a crime to be consoled by a bff when he would ignore me and make me cry, etc. I shouldn't have told my friend that much cause well being he is a Scorpio too like my ex, he really brings out the big guns.

Two Scorpios scrapping in the dirt. It wasn't a pretty fight.

Yes, Xin, finding consolation in another man (especially a dominant one) is a serious Scorpio offense. You are not allowed to speak to other people about your private relationship problems. Ouch.

Yeah my Scorpio BFF is super protective of me. And he was tired of seeing me in tears. So I guess in the heat of the moment when he was like "Why the hell are you here" speech he started hurling things in his face. I get why he did it but I swear I've never had a look on my face like that before. Something between embarrassment and sheer terror, like WHY DID YOU JUST SAY THAT! Apparently according to my BFF he should be on the receiving end of hurt for once.

And I am a Gemini, I talk to people, plus my BFF he's 1. a guy and 2. a Scorpio who else to go to that would know the Scorpion moves? Needless to say I had ZERO idea he was going to use the information we talked about as a weapon.

@Whimsy - I think I should be allowed to go to my friends and lean on them when someone treats me like shit. I prefer not to sit in the dark cave alone seeing Scorpio's pull you down there, then alienate the shit out of you. Nope. Not having it.

I should have been more clear. I meant that HE'LL be highly offended...not that you're literally not allowed to do whatever you wish. Xin, it CAN work between some Gems and some Scorps, but it's going to be up to the Gem to use all the insight and cleverness at her disposal to figure out HOW to keep it working. He's a fixed sign, and you're a fluid one. I should explain that more, too, but I'm on a phone right now.

No no it's ok. Yeah this Scorpio won't work with me though. As DG put it, he's not evolved and he isn't. He's clearly too young still. Maybe if he was early 30's might work, but until then....Nope.

Yeah I'm here. Lurking a lot lately. Been a little introverted which is strange for me. Not sure what's going on with the planetary movements and whatnot. Anyways I haven't spoke to him in a while. I think it's completely over, for good. Came to terms with it and moving on. Not much to say about it you know? Had a few people they felt strange about him like his aura was off. Then of course EG you know what we talked about. So yeah I am doing ok.

🙂

Yeah I know. Right now I'm not really looking. Too much drama lately with guys in general. And to think that guys were supposed to be less dramatic. WRONG!

Posted by everevolvingepithet
It's not really ignoring in that sense then ey?🙂

E3 - Explain.

Hi Lovely Gems (all gems are gorgeous in looks and personality...we are the epitome of sexy...oh yes we are.)

My very first post here...well my second if you count the intro I just made only minutes ago on the GEMS Introduce yourselves board🙂

Silent treatment huh?... Communication is everything for me, and silence is a death sentence. Which is generally where the relationship will go if you stick me there. Honestly, I don't care if we are fighting, as long as we are making noise. Communication signals there is still something there worth fighting for or over. Silence means we do not exist. I know people say that all gems are flighty and will walk away quicker than they walked into...and I know it is said that all gems are likely to cheat...honestly, this is mostly true of me when silence occurs. Usually, I need to run away from the silence. The problem is, where I end up and who I end up with is then beyond your or my control once you have left me in silence.

Yeah, silence...when it comes to me, I ALWAYS warn firsthand, just don't go there with me, unless you want for me to go no where with you.

SG - Hi welcome to the board.

Quoting: "Communication is everything for me, and silence is a death sentence. Which is generally where the relationship will go if you stick me there. Honestly, I don't care if we are fighting, as long as we are making noise. Communication signals there is still something there worth fighting for or over. Silence means we do not exist. I know people say that all gems are flighty and will walk away quicker than they walked into...and I know it is said that all gems are likely to cheat...honestly, this is mostly true of me when silence occurs. Usually, I need to run away from the silence. The problem is, where I end up and who I end up with is then beyond your or my control once you have left me in silence.

Yeah, silence...when it comes to me, I ALWAYS warn firsthand, just don't go there with me, unless you want for me to go no where with you."

Seriously this is the most accurate thing I have ever seen yet. I am EXACTLY this way, to a T. Especially the flighty/cheating part. This is usually when I run off too. So it's kind of a relationship killer especially for the water signs who loooove to dish out the silent treatment. They act as a catalyst to our flighty behavior.

Thanks Xin... I have read a lot of your post.

Quote "Seriously this is the most accurate thing I have ever seen yet. I am EXACTLY this way, to a T. Especially the flighty/cheating part. This is usually when I run off too. So it's kind of a relationship killer especially for the water signs who loooove to dish out the silent treatment.
Let's not forget those Libras...they tend to go silent too, actually they just go missing, haha. But usually comes the silence first. Trust me, I know libras well and I love me some Libras. All of the relationships that actually mattered in my life were with Libras. Even for all of their issues, I'd never stop dating them. I mean libras 🙂

But back to the silence thing...Gems are so mentally charged, and in my opinion, communication is our power, so silence is like a cryptonite for me.

Quote "Catalyst to our flighty behavior"
See, I get this. Its not like I go around being flighty for the hell of it...generally someone is the cause 90% of the time...boredom takes the other 10%

Good to meet you Xin

SG - Its not like I go around being flighty for the hell of it...generally someone is the cause 90% of the time...boredom takes the other 10%

This OMG +1!!! Totally right.
I think a lot of it people do unknowingly and just continue on expecting us to react in the same way as others. That's the biggest problem is that people think they can "figure" us out or assume that we react the same other signs do. If anything we are the MOST elusive and unpredictable.

Seraph - Coming from me about your previous comment I don't do the silent treatment UNLESS I am really, really pissed off. That's when you need to worry. I'm very vocal and I yell like a banshee sometimes.

Who said it was? Gemini's don't normally choose that route, unfortunately it comes from the earth and water signs. Thank you very much.

The silence. This is from my personal experience though. My mother who is a Taurus does the silent treatment a lot. And pretty much all my water friends and exes do it. I have no idea why too I can't stand it. But once you do it there is no reversal with me. That puts me in a place that I don't like and I start planning on how to dump them. As stated previously by someone else in this post we don't do well with the silent treatment. It's completely rude and disrespectful to us air signs.

E3 - Just as an FYI though. The only time I do it, is because I get vindictive and I feel that people need their own medicine. Usually works too.

Aren't you a water sign though? I'm surprised you didn't say you are guilty of it. Either way I don't care if it's drawn out or not. It's so fucking rude. The second someone does that it's over. What could possibly be that bad? Exactly nothing. RUDE.

Mostly air? Still doesn't count. I am mostly air 🙂
Gemini Sun, Libra Rising, Libra Moon, Gemini Mercury, then Taurus in both Venus/Mars

Mexican standoff? LOL

What does mostly air mean exactly is your sun still water? Because then your point is null and void and would actually act as a catalyst to exactly what I said about earlier how water signs normally do the silent treatment. Which in your case you chose to explain in a verbally engineered way, but you still do it and that was my point.

I could have sworn you were a water sign.

Could you put your chart up please? Since it doesn't say on your profile.

Chart!!! Or it never happened! LIES AND SLANDER! Better not be posing as an air sign cause I'll kick your butt!

Posted by Xin
Seraph - Coming from me about your previous comment I don't do the silent treatment UNLESS I am really, really pissed off. That's when you need to worry. I'm very vocal and I yell like a banshee sometimes.

Xin...wow, we are definitely alot alike. I don't do the silent thing in general. I am very vocal, in the good and the bad. My thing is this.lets, fight, love or both, as long as we making noise... if there's a problem lets duke it out and get on with it, even if it is just to say lets end it...at least we were mature enough to SAY IT.

For the most part gems are not afraid of confrontation and we will discuss verbally any and everything. To find one (gem) who goes silent is not typical.

However...I do have moments of silence, but this is usually because I am feeling overwhelmed, hearing too many voices, etc...The silence is just so that I can hear my own self. this silence only last long enough for me to get my equilibrium back.

I also agree that for a gem to go silent (as in angry silence) it means LOOK THE HELL OUT, we are indeed pissed. My family and friends would all agree that as long as I am ranting and raving, I am like a dog, all bark and very little bite...but if I go silent out of deep seated anger...well, lets just say, I scare myself and it is truly a place I try not to go.

Posted by everevolvingepithet
Hahah, no, I posed as a water sign one time though!
Sun Libra 29??53
Moon Aries 19??39
Mercury Scorpio 19??55'23
Venus Virgo 21??17'10
Mars Sag 7??49'13
Jupiter Virgo 29??09'13
Saturn Libra 3??51'12
Uranus Scorpio 24??17'18
Neptune Sag 20??37'25
Pluto Libra 22??01'25
Asc Virgo 27??41'02

AH HA! See! I was like this guy is a water sign I swear! LOL! Interesting mix of a chart you got there.

Posted by SoooGem

Posted by Xin
Seraph - Coming from me about your previous comment I don't do the silent treatment UNLESS I am really, really pissed off. That's when you need to worry. I'm very vocal and I yell like a banshee sometimes.

Xin...wow, we are definitely alot alike. I don't do the silent thing in general. I am very vocal, in the good and the bad. My thing is this.lets, fight, love or both, as long as we making noise... if there's a problem lets duke it out and get on with it, even if it is just to say lets end it...at least we were mature enough to SAY IT.

For the most part gems are not afraid of confrontation and we will discuss verbally any and everything. To find one (gem) who goes silent is not typical.

However...I do have moments of silence, but this is usually because I am feeling overwhelmed, hearing too many voices, etc...The silence is just so that I can hear my own self. this silence only last long enough for me to get my equilibrium back.

I also agree that for a gem to go silent (as in angry silence) it means LOOK THE HELL OUT, we are indeed pissed. My family and friends would all agree that as long as I am ranting and raving, I am like a dog, all bark and very little bite...but if I go silent out of deep seated anger...well, lets just say, I scare myself and it is truly a place I try not to go.

click to expand

Yeah we are VERY alike. It's crazy! Everything you post is exactly how I am. Have you posted your chart yet? Ill post mine so we can compare!

Sun — Gemini 14.41 Ascendant — Libra 26.47
Moon- Libra 18.22 II — Scorpio 25.22
Mercury — Gemini 23.11 III — Sagittarius 26.38
Venus — Taurus 22.58 IV — Capricorn 29.43
Mars — Taurus 15.27 V — Pisces 2.18
Jupiter — Leo 6.04 VI — Aries 1.44
Saturn — Virgo 7.43 VII — Aries 26.47
Uranus — Scorpio 17.55R VIII — Taurus 25.22
Neptune — Sagittarius 19.15R IX — Gemini 26.38
Pluto — Libra 16.34R Midheaven — Cancer 29.43
Lilith — Leo 26.12 XI — Virgo 2.18
Asc Node — Virgo 12.55 XII — Libra 1.44


Sun VIII
Moon XII
Mercury VIII
Venus VII
Mars VII
Jupiter Midheaven
Saturn XI
Uranus Ascendant
Neptune II
Pluto XII
Lilith Midheaven
Asc node XI

@Xin...

Here's my info.

Sun - Gemini
Moon - Gemini
Mercury - Gemini
Venus - Cancer
Mars - Taurus
Jupiter - Taurus
Saturn - Pisces
Uranus - Virgo
Neptune - Scorpio
Pluto - Virgo
Ascendant — Virgo
MidHeaven - Taurus
North Node - Cancer
Chiron — Pisces

The report has other stuff listed, like the stuff you are listing like planetary aspects and positions, but honestly, I do not know how to read it or decipher it. I also couldn't copy the chart...it is a PDF...but here is what I do know how to make out 🙂 hope this is helpful?

Yeah it is! Not much different just a little! 🙂

Well this Gem gets along great with Scorpio women; in fact I prefer their friendship because they are very direct and I love that. They do get bossy from time to time but Gems know how to handle that! Now Scorpio men? Ughhhhhhhhhhh Far too intense for this Gem! Always trying to read my mind--gettouttaherewiththat! If I wanted someone to psycho-analyze me I'd go see a shrink. Scorpio men bore me to tears.