This Is A Bit Personal ...

Okay, so I suffered from an eating disorder as a teenager, I recovering, I kind of relapsed in after high school, but I recovered again. Both times, I did it by getting involved in things so I wouldn't think about what I ate and the calories involved.

Now, I'm a bit heavier because of my eating habits in the summer. I do not like my body the way it is but I do not want to look bony anymore 😢

Today, my parents sort of pressured me to reveal my true weight but I wasn't confortable doing it. As a result, they made me get on the scale to reveal how much I weighed and then they laughed after seeing the numbers ...

I felt hurt and violated so I run out of the house vowing to never go over there again.

Was I wrong? I feel as if they picked on something very sensitive, which is my weight. At one point, if I gained two pounds, I went nuts, I'm not like that anymore, but the idea is that they were with me during this time in my life, why would they do that to me if they know about the past ...

"Today, my parents sort of pressured me to reveal my true weight but I wasn't confortable doing it. As a result, they made me get on the scale to reveal how much I weighed and then they laughed after seeing the numbers ...

I felt hurt and violated so I run out of the house vowing to never go over there again."

Hi CappySweetie,

Honestly, I do not blame you for not wanting to go over there again. I can also understand how you must have felt violated - I would have as well. Sometimes we do things to please our parents but neglect our own important feelings. Remember, NO ONE can make you do anything. There are times in life when we truly do need to listen to ourselves knowing what is best for us in each moment and for you, that moment was to not step on the scale. There is nothing that you can now do to change any of this however, you can use this experience for the future. Next time a situation arises where someone asks you to do something and you are uncomfortable, say so. In the end, you will be left feeling good for honouring yourself. We ALL go through this...you are not alone.

Where you are right now in this moment....all is well, you are perfect. When you are ready to make changes, you will - and most importantly, you will do it for YOU, not for someone else.

Bestest wishes to you CS - (been there too, done that!)

"Was I wrong?"

Of course not! They did pick on something that was very sensitive to you ..... maybe you might need to let them know how you feel about this? Maybe they really do not know how you feel and just maybe they thought they were helping you? It's anybodies guess.

What is truly important here is for YOU to express YOUR feelings to them.

Bestest wishes to you CS - (been there too, done that!)

You've experienced this too Freebird— OMG! So you understand why I felt they I felt? My parents don't understand why I exploded the way I did. It felt horrible, they had no right to make me get on the scale, there was no reason for it, whats so ever, AND they are aware of my past problems with eating disorders ...

What is truly important here is for YOU to express YOUR feelings to them.

I will say, I'm not that big but I'm not boney anymore LOL, but I am trying to get back in shape. The fact that I get little support in that bugs me ...

hey cappysweetie....I'm a guy and I've had a borderline eating disorder (went from compulsive eating to starvation modes just to take anger out on myself)....it was my way of expressing anger and control: I know it sounds stereotypical, but it was the one thing besides my emotions I could control: I felt like I was forced into secrecy.....except NOBODY noticed my rapid spurts of weight loss...except my gym teacher and grandmother/nurse in high school....all becuase I ran so hard in gym that I just collapsed.....he wanted us after we took our physicals to get our weigh-ins and I was really underweight....by 30 lbs or so....so he knew what was up, but I just laughed it off like it was the craziest thing I ever heard!! But soon he was more prying, and I WENT OFF!!!!!.....this was mine to have, and I didn't feel like I need nor wanted anyones damned help trying to take care of me.....doesen't help that I'm so stubborn, and independent....lol

But of course being a Virgo you're practically a shoe-in for an eating disorder anywayz lol 😛!! But I try not to let my weight run my life anymore....I learned it was born of more deeper issues, and one of them was I believed that in some deep sense I am unloveable and ugly....so I just began to behave in the way that would affirm my deep-seated belief that I was so screwed up I couldn't be loved, becuase otherwise, what reason would I feel so bad?....Then I would be EXCESSIVELY outgoing to garner the attention I never got at home....I wanted people to THINK that I was perfect, and I tried so hard at it that people actually started to buy it around me: but the anger was just building....I felt like I was being divided in every aspect of my being....I was confused, and still am....I feel like If I'm not perfect no one will love me....I scared to show my softer side becuase I feel that someone will attack it, and that people are laughing at me....so I exercise compulsively anywhere from 4-6 hrs a DAY!! My weight went up, and I'm trying to bring it back down the NATURAL way.

I've got alot of emotional issues, but I learned to actually take full responsibility for myself, and how I feel....be conscious of how you feel....and more importantly remain persistently positve and don't take any shit from anyone especially yourself.....Cappysweetie, this is YOUR life...what do you want from it?

I deeply support, and URGE you to express what you feel is holding you back...if you need to scream it out, get it out....For me....

I'm sorry, cappysweetie.


Have you expressed your feelings to your parents? Perhaps you should make them aware of how you feel.

being a man, my pride gets in my way alot of the time, so I suck it all up and keep going and then at the random drop of a hat, a tear will come out....I've NEVER actually cried before in my life, and I've never shared my emotions with anyone, and I need that....but that type of relationship would be toxic on my end....I don't want my lover to feel like they've got to be responsible for my healing, but just me being able to express what I feel from deep down inside with them, is epic to me....I understand why you reacted the way you did, but I suggest you try to understand the position from their point of view...yeah, it's always intrusive on our part when somebody demands that we weigh or show some part of ourselves that we feel is 'damaged'.....but they care enough to do it CS.....I know how hard it is to deal with an aspect of yourself that you feel is weak, or damaged....you've got to slowly, but surely flip the way you look at that thing be it physical or immaterial....I give my VERY best to you CS.....heal, and don't let anything stand in your way. Remember look up....it sounds corny, but with a new perspective, your whole way of going about life will change....it's practical to be positive! okay?.

Virgoexalted ... you are such a sweetheart 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 Thank you so much for your support, I honestly appreciate it.

S.S

No haven't told them how I felt. You are right, maybe they need to know that I'm uncomfortable being put out in the open like that.

Well...


Issues like this are sometimes easier to address when there is a support system involved. May I ask the two of you, what is your ideal weight and/or body image? Outlining our expectations can help us with setting goals and following through with them in stages. You know what I mean?


I hope I don't sound patronizing. If so, I apologize, because my suggestions (although you didn't ask for them) are genuine. I just think that working together removes some of the pressure/burden.

Additionally...


I feel compelled to remind you both that you are without a doubt, very beautiful. I haven't seen cappysweetie, but I have heard through the grapevine. 🙂

You deserve it Cappysweetie....keep going. NEVER give in....life is a struggle for the soul....I hope you gain control over yours....so one day you can look into the mirror with pride: flaws and all.