Thought we could put here every astrology joke we know..or humorous facts.
Astrology Jokes
How every sign deals with the cold weather:
Aries: Everything is an adventure to you. Your took an insurance on your sleigh.
Taurus: You love life. You only walk underneath houses with huge icicles, hoping everything ends today.
Gemini: Who cares? It's cold, it won't kill you. The twin is optimistic. Be like the twin!
Cancer: Life lost its poetry. You don't feel like getting out of the house. We thank you.
Leo: This stupid cold makes you depressed. You'd like to be in the spotlight like the low temperatures are. Slowly dying
Virgo: The last time you felt this cold was while examining your emotions.
Libra: You think about everything deeply and decide to stay in and work from your home. From Ibiza.
Scorpio: Your body enjoys the low temperature. You know it will even out when you will invariably end up in Hell.
Sagittarius: The travelling kind, Madagascar's sun tempts you. But you remember there are some penguins there and it makes you confused.
Capricorn: You are elated. You joyfully google "euthanasia" Esti in culmea fericirii. Intri voios pe Google si cauti “eutanasie”.
Aquarius: You don't like it but you can't avoid it. Like credit rates piling up.
Pisces: The cold turns the water into ice which leaves you small space to manoeuvre. Take it like a preview for marriage.
Aries: Everything is an adventure to you. Your took an insurance on your sleigh.
Taurus: You love life. You only walk underneath houses with huge icicles, hoping everything ends today.
Gemini: Who cares? It's cold, it won't kill you. The twin is optimistic. Be like the twin!
Cancer: Life lost its poetry. You don't feel like getting out of the house. We thank you.
Leo: This stupid cold makes you depressed. You'd like to be in the spotlight like the low temperatures are. Slowly dying
Virgo: The last time you felt this cold was while examining your emotions.
Libra: You think about everything deeply and decide to stay in and work from your home. From Ibiza.
Scorpio: Your body enjoys the low temperature. You know it will even out when you will invariably end up in Hell.
Sagittarius: The travelling kind, Madagascar's sun tempts you. But you remember there are some penguins there and it makes you confused.
Capricorn: You are elated. You joyfully google "euthanasia" Esti in culmea fericirii. Intri voios pe Google si cauti “eutanasie”.
Aquarius: You don't like it but you can't avoid it. Like credit rates piling up.
Pisces: The cold turns the water into ice which leaves you small space to manoeuvre. Take it like a preview for marriage.
i see you're recovering from your illness and i lost 5 bucks to a bet
Posted by ManilaViceuhm?
get well soon nata
Posted by HouseCleaningbet to whom? wth is going on lol.
i see you're recovering from your illness and i lost 5 bucks to a bet
Posted by ManilaVicePosted by Damnatasomeone said you were sick on the front page?Posted by ManilaViceuhm?
get well soon nataclick to expand
right what went through my mind.
Posted by ManilaViceoh, yeah, it's been bad for the last 2-3 days. i have to go see a chiropractor I fear. x ray will just show me what I already know.Posted by Damnatasomeone said you were sick on the front page?Posted by ManilaViceuhm?
get well soon nataclick to expand
I thought it was prior to that. I'm not on DXP a lot anymore..just browsing the last 7 days through the weekends.
And refreshing Deldo's topic to see it extend into the next millenium.
Posted by ManilaViceit's not the getting old part. i have problems with that as well.Posted by Damnatagetting old i see! me too i've been getting stiff necks.Posted by ManilaViceoh, yeah, it's been bad for the last 2-3 days. i have to go see a chiropractor I fear. x ray will just show me what I already know.Posted by Damnatasomeone said you were sick on the front page?Posted by ManilaViceuhm?
get well soon nata
I thought it was prior to that. I'm not on DXP a lot anymore..just browsing the last 7 days through the weekends.
And refreshing Deldo's topic to see it extend into the next millenium.
click to expand
it's the imbalance with the boobs, i know they will tell me once more to go for a reduction and i never had a surgery in my life so I try to avoid it.
i just assume that if i strive to lose weight with that saturn in my 1st house...the boobs being fat tissue will be reduced as well.
i got home from the new year's party after 2 hours. old koala needs her sleep and rest. i swear sleep is the best commodity i can indulge in.
rest your neck on the fluffy rodent!
Glory."
Which pet would go best with each sign?
Aries: Anything, as long as it's got a lot of energy!
Taurus: A turtle: it's slow-moving, doesn't need a lot of attention, and won't compete with its owner for food.
Gemini: A talking parrot; need I say more? Well, of course I do, but--
Cancer: Anything, as long as it needs to be nurtured.
Leo: A big, bold, ferocious feline, as long as it doesn't compete with its owner's place in the sun.
Virgo: Let's see, I have to get up at 7:30 to feed it, let it out at 7:45, at 10:00 I need to go to the grocery store to pick up three cans of food, which will cost $ 3.86, including tax--
Libra : Hm, good question. One the one hand, a dog is active, affectionate, and companionable. On the other hand, a cat is pretty independent and won't require as much time and attention. Oh, I don't know. What would you do? Are you sure?
Scorpio: A cat. Secretive, mysterious, and unpredictable. What's not to like?
Sagittarius: A horse, of course! Let¹s hope it's got enough stamina to keep up with me.
Capricorn: Do I have to pay for it?
Aquarius : A hamster. First, I've got to set up a detailed cage with tubes going from here to here, and an energy sensor--they don't make anything like that? That's okay, I'm sure what I come up with will be much better.
Pisces : Fish. When their owner forgets about them for weeks on end, they're easy to replace. If Pisces remembers to replace them...
Which pet would go best with each sign?
Aries: Anything, as long as it's got a lot of energy!
Taurus: A turtle: it's slow-moving, doesn't need a lot of attention, and won't compete with its owner for food.
Gemini: A talking parrot; need I say more? Well, of course I do, but--
Cancer: Anything, as long as it needs to be nurtured.
Leo: A big, bold, ferocious feline, as long as it doesn't compete with its owner's place in the sun.
Virgo: Let's see, I have to get up at 7:30 to feed it, let it out at 7:45, at 10:00 I need to go to the grocery store to pick up three cans of food, which will cost $ 3.86, including tax--
Libra : Hm, good question. One the one hand, a dog is active, affectionate, and companionable. On the other hand, a cat is pretty independent and won't require as much time and attention. Oh, I don't know. What would you do? Are you sure?
Scorpio: A cat. Secretive, mysterious, and unpredictable. What's not to like?
Sagittarius: A horse, of course! Let¹s hope it's got enough stamina to keep up with me.
Capricorn: Do I have to pay for it?
Aquarius : A hamster. First, I've got to set up a detailed cage with tubes going from here to here, and an energy sensor--they don't make anything like that? That's okay, I'm sure what I come up with will be much better.
Pisces : Fish. When their owner forgets about them for weeks on end, they're easy to replace. If Pisces remembers to replace them...
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