knock knock

This topic was created in the Jokes forum by dxpnet on Wednesday, December 27, 2006 and has 20 replies.

Profile picture of Yama
@Yama
20 Years5,000+ PostsScorpio

A woman gets run-over by a slightly intoxicated drunk truck-driver, in a poorly lit road, who's fault is this?

The husband-why the fuck did he let her out of the kitchen for?!

Profile picture of woodsnake
@woodsnake
19 Years

straight through the back with a stanley knife......(Lilly Savage,aka Paul O'Grady)

Profile picture of Yama
@Yama
20 Years5,000+ PostsScorpio

A Marine colonel on his way home from work at the Pentagon came to a dead halt in traffic and thought to himself, "Wow, this traffic seems worse than usual. Nothing's even moving."

He notices a police officer walking back and forth between the lines of cars so he rolls down his window and asks, "Excuse me, Officer, what's the hold up?"

The Officer replies, "The President is just so depressed about the Impeachment thing he stopped his motorcade in the middle of the Beltway and he's threatening to douse himself in gasoline and set himself on fire. He says his family hates him and he doesn't have the $ 33.5 million he owes his lawyers. I'm walking around taking up a collection for him."

"Oh really? How much have you collected so far?"

"So far only about three hundred gallons, but I've got a lot of folks still siphoning!"

Profile picture of juwanapla
@juwanapla
20 Years1,000+ Posts

What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection?

A quarter pounder with cheese.

I'll let you Brits figure that one out.

Profile picture of ~mystic_fish
@~mystic_fish
19 Years1,000+ Posts

This guy walks into a bank and says to the teller at the window, "I want to open a freakin' checking account."

To which the lady replied, "I beg your pardon, what did you say?"

"Listen up dammit, I said I want to open a freakin' checking account right now."

"Sir, I'm sorry but we do not tolerate that kind of language in this bank!" The teller left the window and went over to the bank manager and told him about her situation.

They both returned and the manager asked, "What seems to be the problem here?"

"There's no damn problem," the man says, "I just won $ 50 million in the lottery and I want to open a freakin checking account in this damn bank!"

"I see sir," the manager said, "and this bitch is giving you a hard time?"

Profile picture of Yama
@Yama
20 Years5,000+ PostsScorpio

How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bubl?

Two: One to hold the giraffe and another to fill the bathtub with brightly-colored machine tools.

Profile picture of GemGirlNVirgGuy
@GemGirlNVirgGuy
19 Years

THIS SOUNDS STUPID AND FUNNY TO ME ONLY PERHAPS BUT WHEN I READ THE KNOCK KNOCK TITLE.. and dxpnet just went "ha ha" i was like... "ha ha who" and i sounded like those fishes in the tank from FINDING NEMO.. ha ha who ha ha who.. lol

Profile picture of Spectre
@Spectre
13 Years

Posted by Yama
What happens when 5 emos sit in a square room?
One dies because he has no corner to cry in.πŸ˜›

Muahahahaha...

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