Advice about break ups ? Do you come back?

Hi I have posted before and would like a bit of advice once again. Long story short I have been having an affair with a Leo male for over two yrs. we have hung out and taken road trips together. I am in love with him and have tried to end it because I AM in love with him. He always jokes about us being FWB, so when I decided I needed more I ended it. He texted me WHAT HAVE I DONE? And WHY? I DONT WANT THIS! But the problem is nobody knew we were together. We work together, and I ended up getting drunk and blabbed to another co- worker! THE GOOD THING WAS THEY were friends ( which I didn't know) so it will not be spread around. He then told me he would be keeping his distance. I have never really been honest with my feelings, until now. I accepted my mistake, apologized profusely for my lack of self control, and said no more lies. That I loved him. And I would try to clear his name. Or try and fix what I did. And that was why I always tried to end it. Because I had feelings. He replied . Ok..
So I have not heard from him in 2 weeks but we do see each other. And when we do I know WE BOTH FEEL THAT ATTRACTION! He comes around me and tries to make me smile. Last night he came by my work station to "see me" before he went home. Being a Taurus I act cold, because I'm in defense mode.. So then he tries to make me laugh. And Two days ago I was standing with another co- worker who I briefly was with, and the Leo knows it , as I was honest with him about that. He came up and actually put his fingers under my nose , kinda touching my lips? In front of this guy....A weird gesture for sure... Not sure what it meant? As a Taurus I touch you only because I WANT YOU! But Leo's I don't know what it means? I have never dated a Leo or known a Leo before. He is so STRANGE!
So my question is this... Let him keep coming to me and don't text him at all. Or tell him I do miss him—. I can't lie I loved our time together. And him. What's your best advice to move on or wait ? Text or not text? I also avoided ever going to his home for over a year! So I didn't look needy, or stalkerish.

If he is still keeping contact and making time to do small things, he likes you. Leo's dont was time on a girl they are not interested in unless the girl strokes his ego constently. Do you do that? When's his B-day?

No I only pump his tires when I want to show him I really like him...
So one in awhile I will say ooh you look sexy.. But never in person! His bday is august 18 and we are 8 yrs apart

I would like to add I got jealous over another girl he was talking to. As in he spent half the day talking to this other coworker... He the said we would not be good in a relationship together! Lucky there are not a lot of women here as you have accused me of all of them lol! And I replied. Omg I don't know how to respond to that as I have never asked you for a relationship! EVER! Day one it was fun only... Except how do you remain neutral for three yrs? And then he said OK GOOD! I know I always text shit that I don't mean... So was he saying he was thinking of us in a relationship? And I blew him off saying day one we said no relationship?

Hmmmmm..I don't know, but last time I checked, I don't think an affair is supposed to be eazy breezy, so I'm thinking it's called KARMA or maybe payback or maybe you got what you ask for? Now that I have that out of the way, the reality of your situation is this? Why would you expect any good to come out of a relationship that started with deceit, lies and betrayal? I'm not trying to be funny here, but I'm just being real. When he said that you was his Friend with Benefits, I think that's exactly what he meant, so why would you expect more from him? You said you realized NOW that you want more from the relationship, and I'm sure that scared him off because he became quite comfortable with this sweet deal of a lifetime. Think about it...He could have you anytime he wanted too, and when he was done, send you back home to your husband and not have all the drama that goes along with the wifey role. If you're married and fooling around with him, do you honestly think he would take you serious enough to be a girlfriend or wife? Even the slimiest man on earth still wants his girl to be an Angel...I know..double standards, but that's just the way it is in this world we live in. @123Life, this maybe the OUT that you need. Cut your losses and move on because it seems like he already has. Nothing positive could ever come out of a relationship that started bad from the get go, but you already know this. Also, it seems like you still don't know much about this Leo after 2 years of being with him..what's up with that? Are you sure you really LOVE him or do you really LUST him. Hence: YOU BOTH FEEL THAT ATTRACTION WHEN YOU'RE AROUND EACH OTHER....lol...Good sex is a helluva drug.

I was married to a Leo, and had a Leo ex-boyfriend who I cheated with while I was married to my Leo husband. And I do believe that my Leo ex-boyfriend lost respect for me when I decided to cheat on my husband with him. I still always remained in contact with my Leo ex-boyfriend even after I got a divorce but just don't expect anything serous.

You told him your feelings and all he could say was ok??

Oh hell no, cut the damn cord already and let it go.

Okay no husband. But do have two scorpion kids! And it was an affair because he "became "my boss two months after we hooked up. And he has searched me out , and as you say marked me. Then how to I tell him go trunk a alligator ! He's my boss now. And why won't he let me go? Keeps coming back ... And seriously I am very cold. I am Not able to talk.. Once we had a fight and he said " okay TEXT IT ALL TO ME!" During sex ... . He would always ask what I liked— And I'd say . "All of it" Isn't that enough? Lol
Anyways what I need then is how to let him know it's over if it's not gonna be my way a tiny bit.

How in the world do you tell a predator to stop chewing your neck ha ha!

Posted by 1234life
And why won't he let me go? Keeps coming back ...

Free sex

Well that's a good thing for me too lol .
But really, I don't usually go for walks on the beach , or to waterfalls .. Where he takes me... With ppl I just " hook up with" so I guess Leo's are just good at being romantic kinda ppl no matter what they feel.. Sex, like, love, none of it matters then. Just the fun.

Posted by 1234life
Well that's a good thing for me too lol .
But really, I don't usually go for walks on the beach , or to waterfalls .. Where he takes me... With ppl I just " hook up with" so I guess Leo's are just good at being romantic kinda ppl no matter what they feel.. Sex, like, love, none of it matters then. Just the fun.

I can agree, Leo men know how to make a woman feel good. Bu,t what is it that you want out of life do you want to be in a serous relationship, are you looking for marriage, or are you looking just to have fun.

Posted by 1234life
Well that's a good thing for me too lol .

Why give it up for free. Nothing is free in this life. So why shouldn't you come with a price also?

Posted by canerleo101
that's a good thing for me too lol .

Also the sex that you a getting from him in my opinion is not free. The price that your paying is having your emotions out of control, and it is bringing confusion into your life.

Thanks brother great advice you're right nothing is free and I am not free I got sure what I'm looking for just wanting to have. Not going anywhere after four years so I am going to do it versus

Dang talk and text! Don't use it! LoL
All good advice. Thanks for your time.
Yes 4 yrs later things have moved slowly. I am not free and I've made my point I love him I want more. So I guess he has made his point clear to . He has not texted me... But sought me out. I will ignore him accordingly now! Thanks I feel heartbroken but that is the price I paid to fake I was okay with a FWB!

Just the walks on beach trips and waterfalls threw me off! Normally I don't fall for that stuff! Okay kidding I love nature so of course I'd fall for it. But I see he won't change. I hate walking away but that's why I came here. And clearly he is wasting my time no matter how much he's attracted to me.
Cheers!

Posted by 1234life
Dang talk and text! Don't use it! LoL
All good advice. Thanks for your time.
Yes 4 yrs later things have moved slowly. I am not free and I've made my point I love him I want more. So I guess he has made his point clear to . He has not texted me... But sought me out. I will ignore him accordingly now! Thanks I feel heartbroken but that is the price I paid to fake I was okay with a FWB!

I have done a FWB relationship before until I realized that, that was not what I was looking for.

Posted by 1234life
Okay no husband. But do have two scorpion kids! And it was an affair because he "became "my boss two months after we hooked up. And he has searched me out , and as you say marked me. Then how to I tell him go trunk a alligator ! He's my boss now. And why won't he let me go? Keeps coming back ... And seriously I am very cold. I am Not able to talk.. Once we had a fight and he said " okay TEXT IT ALL TO ME!" During sex ... . He would always ask what I liked— And I'd say . "All of it" Isn't that enough? Lol
Anyways what I need then is how to let him know it's over if it's not gonna be my way a tiny bit.

Oh..there's no doubt he's feeling you! and I'm sure the sex is what keeps him coming back. However, since you want more out of the relationship now, I just don't think he was ever down for that. Like I said before, he became very comfortable with the arrangement, and even if he doesn't say it, you definitely lost some cool points in the faithful department. Just tell him that things have changed and you thought you could handle the relationship the way it was when you guys first started out, but obviously he doesn't see it being nothing more than sex and a good time, so you need to move on with your life because you're looking for stability. Not just for yourself, but for your kids as well. He needs to respect that and let you get on with your life. He's already wasted 2 years of it.

Yes he has had it good . And ya I started out just for fun, but got confused when we started doing things outside of sex. All good though. Just left his shift. He just texted me five minutes ago , and asked what I was doing? Said just that... Went to new shift. Nothing more. Outta sight outta mind. And I am always about taking care of me first( & kids) so don't need the constant in my face reminder.

Posted by 1234life
Yes he has had it good . And ya I started out just for fun, but got confused when we started doing things outside of sex. All good though. Just left his shift. He just texted me five minutes ago , and asked what I was doing? Said just that... Went to new shift. Nothing more. Outta sight outta mind. And I am always about taking care of me first( & kids) so don't need the constant in my face reminder.

No one should be a secret for two years.

Come on, why you put up with that?

Montgomery , I couldn't have said it better myself.
I'm also 8 yrs older, and so maybe he feels embarrassed? I actually look way younger then he does. Nobody believes I'm my age , and I have tried to take care of myself, & stay active. I have many men hit on me and he knows this. I have just always remained nice and try not to hurt any feelings, or lead anybody on. But maybe he just doesn't want ppl to talk @ work? I know I didn't.
But the time has come where I needed to come clean with myself. I just hate that he looks for me, and how he looks at me, his whole face lights up and mine does too, I can't fake or hide it....and when he " touches me" . That's why I had to leave, I asked another boss to transfer me yesterday to another department when HE wasn't looking...
I have also ended it where we didn't see each other for 2 month and I avoided him. But he came back. Then I tried to end it , and he said HE DID NOT WANT THIS!! So I guess I read ALL his signals SOO wrong! But then that's the difference in our personalities , why I needed outside feedback. I asked my friends and they just said .. If it ain't broke , don't fix it ... Meaning go with the flow. But I am dissatisfied , and need more. He obviously is totally fine with it as he has had no contact via texts, but has gotten his fix by " looking for me , and touching me" ... So that's why I left his department.

Posted by 1234life
Montgomery , I couldn't have said it better myself.
I'm also 8 yrs older, and so maybe he feels embarrassed? I actually look way younger then he does. Nobody believes I'm my age , and I have tried to take care of myself, & stay active. I have many men hit on me and he knows this. I have just always remained nice and try not to hurt any feelings, or lead anybody on. But maybe he just doesn't want ppl to talk @ work? I know I didn't.
But the time has come where I needed to come clean with myself. I just hate that he looks for me, and how he looks at me, his whole face lights up and mine does too, I can't fake or hide it....and when he " touches me" . That's why I had to leave, I asked another boss to transfer me yesterday to another department when HE wasn't looking...
I have also ended it where we didn't see each other for 2 month and I avoided him. But he came back. Then I tried to end it , and he said HE DID NOT WANT THIS!! So I guess I read ALL his signals SOO wrong! But then that's the difference in our personalities , why I needed outside feedback. I asked my friends and they just said .. If it ain't broke , don't fix it ... Meaning go with the flow.

But I am dissatisfied , and need more.

He obviously is totally fine with it as he has had no contact via texts, but has gotten his fix by " looking for me , and touching me" ... So that's why I left his department.

Then it is, in fact, broken.

Allowing it to continue in a manner that is not alright with you, for fear of losing him, is no way to live.

He isn't doing you a favor by gracing you with his presence-- acting like he is will only perpetuate this nonsense.

Understand your own value-- he obviously sees it; why don't you?


Good that you changed departments... but this:

"I'm also 8 yrs older, and so maybe he feels embarrassed?"

😐

I didn't look at your sign before I posted, but why would you date someone if you thought they were embarrassed to be associated with you?

@montgomry .Glad I came here 🙂
Your right he does know my worth , and he clearly tries to " mark " me when I'm around others. I also know it, but try to remain humble, I am not bragging because it has nothing to do with me, it's genetics ,but I am very pretty. ( exotic looking). I went to a party last night with three other co- workers and met new ppl . And I always have to excuse myself when guys become to " interested in me" while their gf are glaring at them from across the room. I usually give men about five minutes and then politely move on.
I think he might feel embarrassed because we work together, and so the relationship obviously started with inappropriate behavior at work. And being he was promoted we kept it hush hush. AND It was just " sex" at first, even for me. So it was not like we needed to announce we were " together" And i even ended it numerous times because i had feelings.... He would then go off and date new women , all of who were 20 yrs younger then me... So maybe because he's ALWAYS dated 20 something girls, it made him feel weird , that not only was I his co worker, but that I WAS older. And being a Leo he has to maybe "look" like he can get the younger women? IDK? When another guy became interested in me at work and we flirted , and got together once the Leo knew. I did not hide it. We were not dating... But numerous times this other guys name came up in lots of " little" digs. Once I went to my car to charge my phone, and rest my eyes , as we work 10 hours a day. He texted " where are you"!!! I said sleeping , and he said oh really with #% ?

That's we will run Ito each other... From time to time.

My sign is Taurus April 26 I know nothing about it , but do know I like things to go slow, I am stubborn and am always trying to analyze the snot out of everything ppl say. Why they said it, how they said it , and what they really could mean lol!

Attraction doesn't mean shit especially if that is all there is and there is a REAL long term relationship in mind. Men are attracted to women and fuck them all the time but it doesn't mean they respect them.

One thing a LOT of women don't realize. People can get sex anywhere. Sex does not = respect. Most of the time the men don't respect them, I mean how can they when women are giving it up so easily and still allowing the man to treat her like shit. No respect. And with out respect you can never expect to have his heart.

I mean it's just the same with guys that get friend zoned. He's on his hands and knees bending over backwards to get you and you can only see him as a friend because you don't respect him.

Same thing with giving up sex so easily all the time and every time even if he's treating you like shit, how can he respect you.

We'll good point xtina, but I did not give in so easy. It was about a year prior of us being friends. So this all started in 2010, where he would constantly seek me out, come sit with me, or text me jokes. Stare at me without being embarrassed, and call me to talk about music, or share his Tate in music with me. I have to admit I did not like him or find him attractive at first, but he grew on me , and after a year of him kinda filling me around and trying to get my attention, he just out of the blue grabbed me and kissed me on my way back to my job. It was shocking and exciting and I was hooked. And we did not have sex for five months , just fooled around. So I guess he don't respect me because we waited for sex. And it was probably really boring for him to wait that long with me. After we did have sex he probably thought I was to easy and over the next year and a half has been trying to find a way to end it with me , even though I ended it with him around 8/9 times.. But because it wasn't him ending it, it didn't count... And now since he is hurt I told one person , he is okay with it being over because he's the one who ended it not me. And that's why he looks for me and touched me , you know cause he doesn't respect me. And wants to make sure that the one other guy I was interested in with don't want me either, by touching my lips in front of this other man " marking me as used I guess?

Posted by 1234life
That's we will run Ito each other... From time to time.

My sign is Taurus April 26 I know nothing about it , but do know I like things to go slow,

I am stubborn and am always trying to analyze the snot out of everything ppl say.

Why they said it, how they said it , and what they really could mean lol!

😆

That made me lol


And now it makes a little more sense.

The following is just my opinion, based on what you've said--

But it feels like you two just have a dynamic together that's going to defy the "norm"-- regardless.

I think that's part of what makes it so exciting-- at least for now.


And eight years? Pfffft.

Your signs square and it sounds like the attraction is magnetic.

I don't think it's meant to be "normal" at this point.

But I do think it'll work itself out, one way or the other-- just don't compromise your dignity, lest you be trampled.

And it seems you already have a handle on that. 🙂