CONFUSING Leo man!! NEED advice!

I met this Leo guy a little over a month ago when we ran into each other at a wedding we both happened to be attending. We actually first met 6-7 years ago thru a mutual friend but at the time he had a girlfriend and I literally haven't seen him in probably 5 years or so. We never really talked before so when I saw him at the wedding I formally introduced myself.

So that night he was very interested. We talked a LOT about all sorts of things (interests, career, etc). We exchanged numbers and then My group and his group ended up leaving the wedding to go to a bar. I figured I'd see him there or just talk to him later. As I was coming down the stairs at the bar suddenly someone grabbed my hand and pulled me over to where he was. It was that guy. I was sort of taken aback by that (in a good way). And then we proceeded to talk a bunch more.

Eventually we all parted ways for the night and he texted me as he was driving home (Mind you he didn't drink at all that night. He is training to be in a big bodybuilding show so he is extremely strict with his diet. NO alcohol.). I honestly' didn't really know what to think. I have been terrified of relationships for awhile so I've been avoiding those sorts of situations. This one included. The next day we texted a bit about the night before, joking around about how I "proposed" to him. He made mention about hanging out again and I said we'd definitely have to meet up sometime.

For the next week or so I really didn't say anything because I wasn't sure what I wanted to do. He didn't text or call either so I figured the wedding was just kind of a fluke thing and maybe we'd be friends, but I really didn't actively pursue anything. But then I made the mistake of drunk texting him about 6 days after the wedding and we ended up talking a little bit more the next day because I had to apologize for my mishap. He said if I wanted to talk all I had to do was text him. It was a jovial conversation. We texted randomly here and there for the next 5 days or so.

Well almost two weeks after the wedding we were texting a lot more and we came to find out that we have a LOT of the same things in common. He even mentioned "where have you been all my life??" and then from there things just started to take off. He asked me to hang out with him and his friends the next night, but said there were no actual plans set in stone yet and he'd let me know. Well the next night he ended up saying he was going to stay in and have a chill n

have a chill night. I was kind of bummed. At this point in time he asked me if I have Instagram and we linked up on there and started following each other on there. He liked almost all of my pictures and he said "wow, just as pretty as I remember from the wedding". It was around then that he REALLY started to show interest. Called me beautiful, pretty, sexy, PERFECT. We talked at length about interests and stuff and he kept urging me to tell him more about myself. He asked me a few times when we were going to hang out, and I always told him "just make the plans"... He seemed genuinely interested in getting to know me. He would text me "good morning beautiful" in the morning and usually say something similar at night before going to bed.

A few days later he asked me again to hang out with his friends. That was on Thanksgiving Eve. He picked me up and we all went into the city to the same bar we'd met up at the night of the wedding. It was really fun. We talked allll night again and his friends were all really nice and entertaining. He grabbed my hand to pull me towards him when I mentioned that the guys behind me had grabbed my butt as they walked by. He also took my hand as we were leaving to lead me out. We kissed at the end of the night when he dropped me off.

And then it was around then, on Thanksgiving and the next few days that he seemed a bit "cold" to me. Didn't text as much, took longer to reply. Didn't really call me beautiful or anything.

But then that Monday it started up again even heavier then before. Texted ALL day and ALL day tuesday. It was entertaining texts and he seemed interested all over again.
It got to the point that we discovered VERY specific things in common and he quoted a movie and I quoted it right back and he said "Annnddd I like you" and I replied "haha, right back atcha" and then a little while later he said "good night perfect girl". Then the following day he was sort of "cold" again. Didn't hear from him until I texted him first. And then that thursday NOTHING. total silence. Friday I mentioned I'd had a dream about him, he replied, I said we have to hang out again soon, and he said we definitely do and that is the last thing I've heard from him. That was this past Friday. It's now thursday and Ive heard NOTHING from him. I texted him Saturday twice. No reply. Monday I just said "hey u". No reply. We are still following each other on Instagram and stuff. But literally.... greatest disappearing act a guy has ev

greatest disappearing act a guy has ever pulled..... I'm just completely thrown for a loop!— The only thing I can think is that there was another girl and he ended up going for her instead of me. Either way it just makes me head spin that a guy can be so complimentary and SAY that he wants to hang out again, and then go completely silent...

I don't get it. How can a person seem SO interested... and then drop off the face of the earth—

PS: I should probably state our birthdays since I DID find that out about him....

I am 7/22/83
He is 7/26/86

I already know I am a cancer/leo cusp.

This is so not unusual. It's very common. People (mainly women)apply way too much meaning into a text relationship. Then when he stops, it's a shock. Bottom line is if a man is into you, he WILL see you. Pursue you. Make it known he wants you. It does sound like your pursued him more and did all the "heavy lifting" so to speak.

Stop texting him, you're over doing it. Own your value.

Posted by Justsomeguy
There's always a hit and miss with us, sometimes we entertain another girl and compliment her and stuff because it boosts our egos too. Taking you out with his friends so far, you could be eye candy, if you are hot and him and his friends think so and see him with you around him, he will look like a king.

Loyalty, honesty and faithfulness, ask him what they mean to him, have deep conversations with him, you could have a lot in common but that doesn't mean it will make you a good match.

Opposites attract, remember that, when you can teach him things and he teaches you things, keeps things interesting, but don't get me wrong, it's nice to have similar things in common.

With the age too, I know a lot of people who just want to party, get with girls and just do their own things for a bit. Be a friend first, don't go looking for a relationship first, if he wants you, he'll let you know. If you are over texting him, you will suffocate him and suffocating a Leo will push us away. Give it time, let it be, if it's meant to be it'll work on its own, don't feel like you have to push it. Anything you really have to wait for will be worth it, let it come naturally please, makes love that much more passionate.

You need to do you, please don't at all try to make him jealous because it will be very childish and actually piss him off too maybe. Like you follow each other on instagram, some girls and guys will know that the one who wants them can see their pics and will do something stupid and try and make the other jealous...please don't do that at all.

Good luck though, remember it's your life and your heart, take care of yourself first, if you feel as if it isn't right, then let it go before getting in too deep. In the end, no matter what you'll always have yourself!

Thank you so much for your advice!! That's some of the best things I've heard from anyone so far. So I have a question for you then... obviously I'm not texting anymore since he never replied the last couple I sent. Do you think he might come back around after awhile? I feel like maybe I DID push him away by texting a bit too much towards the end there.

Posted by Justsomeguy
Depends, really does, I don't know him personally or anything, I just share the same birthday with the guy lol

If it were me, if I texted a girl, pulled her aside at the bar to talk to her and stuff, I was genuinley interested, doesn't mean she is the only girl I'm talking to, but that she got my attention for the bit. You got that kiss, when I put some work on a girl and I finally get that kiss, it runs through my mind a lot until it's completely forgotten, meaning there was no follow up spark to add onto the kiss. But you texting and showing interest still after, there is a good possibility that you will hear from him again. As long as you weren't being crazy or possessive in your messages, shouldn't have scared him away too much. Even if he texts you back soon, dont respond so soon, give it some time and then when you do respond do short answers (just for a little while) it will drive him crazy and make him go after you some more.

Please, just do you and do what your life's paths intends, don't let yourself suffer over him, I made the mistake to over the last girl and saw how much it ruined me. If it's meant to be, it'll happen.

Be there for him if he really needs someone, if it doesn't feel right to talk about your status with him, don't in the beginning, but if it starts again and keeps you wondering, ask him what's up. Compliment him too, we Leo's can never get complimented so much lol for my taste, I like older women because there are less games thrown out there and as a matter afact, she was born in 83 like you. 😛 Keep your head up, and you seeking out help on this site means that you would like some answers, don't let it drive you crazy though. We only want to hear what we want, but remember to listen with our hearts and minds!!!

Thank you again. Seriously best advice ever. I wasn't crazy or possessive. All I said on Saturday was "good morning handsome" and later in the day I asked him a question about weightlifting/cardio. And on monday all I said was "hey u". Those are the three he didn't respond to so I stopped BECAUSE I didnt want to look crazy 😛

Posted by Justsomeguy
Let me also mention, there was a girl once who I was interested in and we would text a lot...the thing she scared me away with was telling me she "loves" me before it has even been a month. So good thing you didn't say anything bad. He'll remember the good conversations and remember the times with you and he'll make contact again.

Actually I just thought of a question.. this is probably really stupid, but do you think I should quit posting pics to Instagram? Or keep posting? (obviously not ones that would piss him off).... just trying to think of whether I should go radio silent or just keep doin what I'm doin.

Posted by Justsomeguy
Keep posting, keep doing what you would do normally, before you met him. Show him that he doesn't have an affect on you and you aren't waiting for him. One day you might post a picture and he'll say something, just play it off and act like it was nothing, if he compliments just say thanks. Showing any change lets him know he has some control on you which means to him you're waiting.

Alright sweet. ONE more thing (sorry things keep popping in my head as I'm doing other stuff)... I just signed up at the same gym he goes to (NOT because he goes there, but because the one I had been going to doesn't have enough equipment for what I want to do)... he knows that I was going to that other gym, so if I run into him at the new one is it going to look bad to him— I really hope not because the new one has all the machines I need and a tanning facility which is the two main reasons I switched.

Posted by Justsomeguy
If he knows, he knows but don't make it seem like you're watching him or anything like that. You go to the gym to strictly work out and work out only...one thing I hate, and if he is as serious or more than I am, is a girl trying to flirt or people flirting at the gym...pisses me off extremely and takes up my gym space. Don't even act like you know him, wave if he does or say hi if he does and that's it

I would just like to know what would've happened if I had said something to him about disappearing. Like if I had called him out via text? What is the sort of reaction that happens with Leos when someone does that?

Posted by Justsomeguy
You'd push him away and make him feel like you are clingy and considering you 2 are already both together...remember, you CAN'T say anything like that to him because you aren't an item. That's just asking to push him away, that kind of ruins the trust, if he wants you to know why he's been like that, he'll either tell you or just act like it's nothing and expect you to feel like it's nothing to.

DO NOT ASK!

LOL. SO infuriating! Most other signs will sit there and talk it out. Not Leos apparently!

I find it interesting talking about all this because I am on the cusp. I would say I am mostly Cancer, but I have a few Leo quirks. Now that you've said some of this stuff I'm starting to realize the times that I peaced out on people with no explanation and then I'll pop up later on like nothing ever happened. Usually it's because I'm in my own little world doin my own thang. So this is all starting to make sense to me.

Posted by Justsomeguy
We'll talk it out, but not when we aren't dating the person or don't feel like we owe the other person an explanation. We are a fixed sign and can be stubborn. If we aren't the type to explain ourselves, you better have something on/over us to make us talk...if not have fun ruin your own self thinking too much about it lol

I know there's really no set timeframe when it comes to this stuff. But do you think after say.... two weeks if I haven't heard from him then I should assume he's not coming back around? I suppose I am just still sort of dumbfounded when people do this stuff. My whole logic is if you're talking to someone in regards to hanging out and charming the pants off of them and then just totally disappear, it leaves me reeling and over thinking and wondering "what the heck—". I know you said "hey it's cuz he's a leo"... but this still just makes me wonder.... what is going thru a leos mind when they dip out like that— Total distraction? Thinking? In their own world?? (I suppose I'm too inquisitive of a person 😛)

Posted by Justsomeguy
That's up to you, how much to you like the guy? It's not about time with us, sometimes if it's over it's over. This is where reality sets and you have to listen to your heart of how long you are willing to wait for this guy. He may come around tomorrow, next week or a month, you have to be the strong one to decide when the waiting is too much.

Please remember, if you were important to him and worth it to him, he'll make the time, dont be a victim to his games. Leo or not, I can say I was a victim of waiting for the Taurus, she didn't put me as a priority when that's all I did for her. So it's not all about astrology when it comes to this. We were at the point where we couldn't get enough of each other and we were always together or talking, next thing you know I get the cold shoulder and nothing. It's very hard to have feelings for someone who doesn't have them back, a lot of people in here have opened my eyes and heart to see that if your other doesn't make time or the effort, then they aren't worth it.

Give yourself more credit, you could be the hottest girl out there but the fact that you are willing to wait for a guy who charmed you and then just stopped...says something. Dont be a victim like me, don't wait for him unless you are willing to feel the pain of whatever comes.

I have dipped out on 2 girls because they were even moving too fast for me, who uses the word "love" within a month or anything like that? Remember, we don't like being tied down so if we feel like that's going to happen, we'll run if we aren't ready. There isn't that big enough of a distraction to not talk to someone, even if it's just saying "hey, something came up, trust me, I'll explain later" it only took me 1-3 seconds to type that. Think about it, and then dont think too much into it.

Very true. It's not that I'm necessarily waiting. Because I'm out on the prowl still myself. I'm just trying to sort out in my head what the heck I could've done to push him away. I can't think of anything honestly. I don't think I was acting needy or pushy. It was actually him that was pushing to hang out all the time and trying to get to know me and what not. I think that's why I'm so confused. How does someone call a person "perfect" and then disappear? I guess it's just so far from anything I've ever come across that I'm trying to use logic to figure it out and nothing seems l

nothing seems logical to me in my head as to why a person runs off? I mean the last conversation we had was casual and I mentioned "we have to hang out again sometime" and he said "yes we definitely do" and I said "need an opportunity to squeeze ur butt again" (which he had mentioned I had done the night of the wedding and he'd liked it because I was the first girl to ever do it) and he responded "yes please"....... and that was the last i heard from him!

Anyways.... gotta be honest, I am afraid to run into him at the gym. I REALLY don't want him thinking I'm there because he's there. DANG IT!

tbh, it's gonna look like you joined the gym to be closer to him unless when you go there you work your butt off without showing interest in what's going on around you. if he's a serious bodybuilder then the gym represents his place of work and is not an extension of his social scene.

i had a similar thing with a leo and i now live in his area and see him regularly. he fucked me around so much that i'm now dating someone else and the leo has gone back to his on/off gf and looks thoroughly pissed off, lol. they have to know that if they don't make a move, the object of their desire will not be hanging around for them cos if he has no respect for your value there are plenty out there who will. leos always come back cos they can't help themselves if they know someone they want is ready to be dangled from their string for a while longer. personally i don't want a man who can't make up his mind about me.

Wise words Justsomeguy! I am going to bookmark this thread. It all makes sense now. But there's one thing I never understand, if the guy wants you to be his woman, he WILL bring you to his friends right?

Posted by Justsomeguy
If I am into a girl, she will know and I will make ever effort to be endlessly romantic to her. I would not involve my friends, UNLESS, the girl says she doesn't feel comfortable yet with just spending time alone with me.

I asked because he never bring me out to his friends.

it's the same with anybody. if you don't want to introduce your man/woman to your friends, there's a reason....most likely that they don't want to openly be seen as being with you. think about it. you meet someone great and you wanna show them off to the world. goes without saying really.

having said that, some people just want to be seen with eye candy to boost their egos but if that's the case it probably won't be a regular thing but more of a gesture to show they've still got it in them to pull someone attractive.

Posted by R1g0rM0rT1s
tbh, it's gonna look like you joined the gym to be closer to him unless when you go there you work your butt off without showing interest in what's going on around you. if he's a serious bodybuilder then the gym represents his place of work and is not an extension of his social scene.

i had a similar thing with a leo and i now live in his area and see him regularly. he fucked me around so much that i'm now dating someone else and the leo has gone back to his on/off gf and looks thoroughly pissed off, lol. they have to know that if they don't make a move, the object of their desire will not be hanging around for them cos if he has no respect for your value there are plenty out there who will. leos always come back cos they can't help themselves if they know someone they want is ready to be dangled from their string for a while longer. personally i don't want a man who can't make up his mind about me.

I dont view the gym as a social scene at all. It's a place to work my butt off. The old gym I was at was a joke, didn't have enough machines for what I want to do. Not to mention it was setup weird where you could access it 24/7 with a little keycard thing, but staff wasn't there 24/7 so I felt uneasy going when no staff was there. So it was also an issue about safety for me.... So really I could care less what he thinks of me being at the same gym... I gots to do WHAT I gots to do!

I'm starting to have flashbacks to my old friend who is a Leo and he does these disappearing acts too. When he's totally caught off guard in a situation or when things seem tense he will peace out for days on end. I never really took note of it til now because we've always just been friends. But I am starting to realize that Leos like to come and go as they please.

every single leo man i know does the disappearing thing. most times they're just busy with other stuff cos you know how crap men are at multi tasking, lol. they always come back bright and breezy like nothing's happened. even the leo who ripped my heart out and trampled it to the ground came back and was slightly shocked i didn't want to talk to him, lol.

btw, i wasn't trying to imply that you were in fact joining the gym to be closer to him but that's what his ego will be telling him. leos are all about ego. if you manage to find one with a dick half as big as his head, happy days!!

Posted by R1g0rM0rT1s
every single leo man i know does the disappearing thing. most times they're just busy with other stuff cos you know how crap men are at multi tasking, lol. they always come back bright and breezy like nothing's happened. even the leo who ripped my heart out and trampled it to the ground came back and was slightly shocked i didn't want to talk to him, lol.

btw, i wasn't trying to imply that you were in fact joining the gym to be closer to him but that's what his ego will be telling him. leos are all about ego. if you manage to find one with a dick half as big as his head, happy days!!

OH may gawd I just cracked up so bad at that last part!!!!hahahahaha! 🙂

This has definitely been a lesson to me. I'm going to be guarding myself a LOT more with guys from now on not just from this situation but from various others.

I don't even know how to be once he pops back up. Perhaps by then I won't even care anymore and everything will be fine. Who knows.... thing is my cancer side is all emotional and hurt about it, my Leo side is all RAWR and wants to rip his head off. LOL.

Posted by R1g0rM0rT1s
it's the same with anybody. if you don't want to introduce your man/woman to your friends, there's a reason....most likely that they don't want to openly be seen as being with you. think about it. you meet someone great and you wanna show them off to the world. goes without saying really.

having said that, some people just want to be seen with eye candy to boost their egos but if that's the case it probably won't be a regular thing but more of a gesture to show they've still got it in them to pull someone attractive.

Yea true. well it's alright now. since he feels embarrassing to be with me then he will never expect me to want him back.