Does he want me back?

I broke up with my Leo boyfriend of 2 year, almost 6 months ago. He was too controlling and I felt my opinions not only didn't matter, but weren't respected. Even having repeatedly told him that I needed to feel like equals, he liked to make all the decisions. I did get him to cut eating out in half where we would cook together, and I got him to sleep over my place more often as I found myself always making the effort to get to his. I just felt like my life was being put on the back burner to give him the attention he needed. As I've read often, as a Pisces, I desensitized a few months before I got the nerve to break up with him. I still love him and I miss him, and despite the disrespect I felt, he was a great boyfriend.

He was contacting me days after the break up saying he would miss me and he is sorry if he held me back from anything. Then another asking to talk, because he wanted closure (I wasn't ready). Then I didn't hear from him until two weeks ago. He sent me a long email just to say "hi" and when I didn't answer it, he sent me a facebook message letting me know he sent an email and to check my spam box. This was after bumping into him on Easter (I looked great). My best friend is his roommate, and told me that he's been dating a lot. He is with a new girl who is the same ethnicity and has the same NAME as I do. I know he was very upset about the break up, we thought we would be together for a very, very long time. I bumped into him again a week later walking home (still hadn't replied to his messages) and I know he saw me because he suddenly looked upset/sad. I didn't feel comfortable going up to him so I didn't.

Each time he has contacted me, he has asked to see me and "catch up". He wants to be friends, but I'm not interested. I wanted to be partners/equals and I don't think I deserve less than that. I did eventually write a short reply to his facebook message telling him that I might be able to meet with him in the summer.

I guess I'm just wondering if he is trying to get me back, and if he actually loved me. Sometimes I think he did, but other times, I don't know. What is he trying to do?

Posted by tiziani


Equals is a very boring place to be IMO.

Always good to walk around in living colour.

Part of loving someone and being their partner is being their friend.

I'm confused, Tiziani-- I'm sure you don't mean that this:


"-- my opinions not only didn't matter, but weren't respected."

"-- I got him to sleep over my place more often as I found myself always making the effort."

"my life was being put on the back burner."


-- is somehow better, even preferable, to be being respected as an equal?

I guess I just don't see how that could be "spicy" or "colorful"-- it's insulting, and it doesn't change.

Maybe I'm not getting your humor.

Posted by tiziani
Maybe all that's left is closure--

Stay true to yourself.

click to expand

I agree with this.

She has the right idea:

"I wanted to be partners/equals and I don't think I deserve less than that."

@ LS-- yes, and don't settle for anything less.

He probably does want you back, but on whose terms? Yours or his?

If you need validation, for your actions, you've got it.

Find someone who gives you the respect you're looking for. 🙂

Thank you all for the advice. I guess I'm just in a weird place right now, but it totally helped to confirm that I made the right decision, so thank you for that, Montgomery!
I think I know what you mean, tiziani, and it's what I'm wrestling with. Maybe he and I can be friends, but it really depends on what is brought up when we finally see each other again.

Thanks again!