help me with this leo

orry for the long read ahead:

dxp i need your help! to summarize, i met this leo girl about 2 years ago. she came over with a mutual friend, and i fell for her immediately. she wanted to stay and chill while our friend wanted to leave, since we kicked it off instantly. so i got her number and we started hanging out. she told me she was seeing someone on and off, and would always bash him. he was an aquarius and cheated on her a bunch. i was cheated on so we both related to one another. she started seeing me more over time, i'd take her out to dinner, take her to events/shows, just show her a good time overall. she had just moved here back then. anyway, it was all platonic and i was her escape from her crap ex at the time. one thing led to another and i told her how i felt about her, to which she said, "u know my situation, i'm not there yet... lets take it a day at a time." to which decoding it meant, i got friendzoned. one day, i made a move on her and she backed off but she'll let me hold her from time to time. whatever, thats fine, but i still took care of her but knew that it was that and not gonna be anything more.

eventually one day, last spring, she had supposedly ended it with her ex and she told me she wanted to go to the beach. i told her i wasn't free but that she should come hang with me at this event i was at, and she got upset at me for not going to the beach with her. it got to the point where i didnt see why she was angry at me, and not understanding that i had made plans prior so i kinda got pissed and told her i've had enough with her. i was fed up with treating her and taking care of her only to be tossed on the side as a guy she can take advantage of. so i told her off and that was that. fast forward to that evening, and i find out she actually had two instagrams, one was private and the other i followed, but our mutual friend texted me saying that on her private IG, she was with her ex in a couple of pics. so she lied about that to me and i was happy i moved on.

so we stopped talking, and then this month hits. i was drunk one night and my friends were asking what had happened with her and i, and i told them the story. so i stupidly drunk texted her to which she responded, "i literally just had a dream about you the other day, i miss you! lets hang this week when i fly back." i pick her up from the airport and we caught up, she apologized, i apologized, whatever. she started getting very touchy feely with me and seemed to have changed since. she told me she wasnt with her ex anymore and that it ended months ago. i told her about her other IG and she went on about how it was hot and cold, on and off, but its totally done now. shes been doing her own thing. anyway, she came over, and i asked her if she had a valentine yet. she claims she never had one, and that her ex didnt really celebrate it like that. so i asked if i could take her out on a date, to which she said, "yes!" she'd been really wanting to go to this show, but it was sold out. luckily, i know some folks that could hook it up so i was able to get tix to this gig for her and on our date, she got very dressed up. she was late, but there was a reason for it. she looked amazing, and i never seen her that dressed.

i got her flowers, "flowers", and gave her a hat that she had her eyes on that i owned that i never really wore, to which she was super stoked. i told her about the show and she freaked out and said, "u made my day " so we got to this gig, we're dancing, flirting, drinking, shes literally letting me touch her everywhere so im thinking, ok i got this. i drove her home since she had work the next day, and didnt invite me up but she hugged me good bye and thanked me for everything. she didnt leave the car though and just gave me this look, so i grabbed her and kissed her a couple of times. my heart was racing and she had this big child like smile on her face. i didnt wanna over do the kissing and wanted to leave her wanting more, so i played it cool and told her that we should do this again to which she responded, "most definitely!"

i texted her later that night to tell her how awesome it was but she didnt reply until the next day in which she didnt acknowledge my text. then today happened and she had to go to the airport so i offered to drive which she was happy about but when we met, she came off very cold and didnt really seem happy to see me. so hot and cold. when i bought up the date, she didnt say much, except, "yeah it was fun, but im just listening to this music right now" (we were stoned). we were rushing to get her to the airport, and when we got there, she hugged me and turned her head and left. thanking me via text later.

my question is, what the hell gives? why is she so hot and cold? am i wasting my time again? am i overthinking it? shes a leo sun, aries moon, cap rising, virgo venus, gem mars, and im a taurus sun, cap moon, leo rising, aries venus and gem mars. any help would be greatly appreciated.

can anyone help?

Why did you post this 4 times? Lol

We have the same placements! Sounds like a similar situation I went through with a Leo in the past. I'd give it some time but I would be a bit hesitant. She just got out of that relationship with her ex and maybe needs some time to come to terms with things. Have you spoken to her about whether or not she's even looking to date?

wow thats a hot date! i smile like a little kid when im kissing someone i like alot too. Just giver her some time and be persistent. She did just get out of a relationship with an asshole so it will be a while for her to trust again. Why does she come in and out of your city?

Posted by earlorg16
Why did you post this 4 times? Lol

We have the same placements! Sounds like a similar situation I went through with a Leo in the past. I'd give it some time but I would be a bit hesitant. She just got out of that relationship with her ex and maybe needs some time to come to terms with things. Have you spoken to her about whether or not she's even looking to date?

thats nuts! she told me she's trying to take it a day at a time but i've heard that one ever since i met her. she's not one to plan things and lives in the spur of the moment. she also has told me she's not looking to date like that anyway and she wants to focus on herself, but again, she said this two years ago... and is saying it again two years later.

Posted by MoonshineLeo
wow thats a hot date! i smile like a little kid when im kissing someone i like alot too. Just giver her some time and be persistent. She did just get out of a relationship with an asshole so it will be a while for her to trust again. Why does she come in and out of your city?

tbh, i don't think she likes me a lot like that. i get a vibe from her that she's using me for these sorta things but it's also like, why even bother hanging out with me at all if that were the case? she's so hot and cold! the date was seriously a blast and she was non stop smiling the entire time. after the date though, when i picked her up a couple days later, it was the opposite and she seemed to have a lot on her mind or was just cold towards me. :\

i can totally be persistent, i just don't want to scare her off you know? she lives in the city, but is visiting her family in florida.

This isn't your fault, but you're "missing something" she thinks she wants.

I experienced dating while "done" with my Aqua. I had fun, I liked the guys, and some of them treated me like a queen. Despite it all, I still couldn't get the Aqua out of my soul.

I'm not saying that's what's going on with her exactly, but I would only act like this is I felt like something else or more was missing. Maybe it's because you're ready and willing, who knows. We tend to go with our gut, even if that means missing out.

Posted by sultrykitty
This isn't your fault, but you're "missing something" she thinks she wants.

I experienced dating while "done" with my Aqua. I had fun, I liked the guys, and some of them treated me like a queen. Despite it all, I still couldn't get the Aqua out of my soul.

I'm not saying that's what's going on with her exactly, but I would only act like this is I felt like something else or more was missing. Maybe it's because you're ready and willing, who knows. We tend to go with our gut, even if that means missing out.

she's one of those girls that almost lives by astrology to a fault actually. that's one hurdle i'm unsure if i can overcome since she's fixed in her ways. for example, she loves aquas and claims they're the best for her, but every aqua from what she'd told me has treated her like complete a $ $ . they've all cheated on her, they've all misled her, they've all abused her, i mean like what the hell? she knows i'm a taurus and it seems i'm the only taurus she knows in her life. i think you're right in the "missing something" factor, that missing factor is that, i'm not a fire sign or an air sign to her. it's pretty dumb now that i think about it, but i like her so damn much. 😢

Posted by ottootto

Posted by earlorg16
Why did you post this 4 times? Lol

We have the same placements! Sounds like a similar situation I went through with a Leo in the past. I'd give it some time but I would be a bit hesitant. She just got out of that relationship with her ex and maybe needs some time to come to terms with things. Have you spoken to her about whether or not she's even looking to date?

thats nuts! she told me she's trying to take it a day at a time but i've heard that one ever since i met her. she's not one to plan things and lives in the spur of the moment. she also has told me she's not looking to date like that anyway and she wants to focus on herself, but again, she said this two years ago... and is saying it again two years later.

click to expand

This sounds way too familiar to my old situations with Leo's. Give her some space to let her roam and do her thing. Stay there for her and continue to build on your foundation. You're a bull, stay persistent, stay sweet, stay honest, and if she wants you there, she'll come to that realization. But from a fellow bull to another who's dealt with this in the past, don't keep your hopes up. Do your own thing too.

Posted by ottootto

Posted by MoonshineLeo
wow thats a hot date! i smile like a little kid when im kissing someone i like alot too. Just giver her some time and be persistent. She did just get out of a relationship with an asshole so it will be a while for her to trust again. Why does she come in and out of your city?

tbh, i don't think she likes me a lot like that. i get a vibe from her that she's using me for these sorta things but it's also like, why even bother hanging out with me at all if that were the case? she's so hot and cold! the date was seriously a blast and she was non stop smiling the entire time. after the date though, when i picked her up a couple days later, it was the opposite and she seemed to have a lot on her mind or was just cold towards me. :\

i can totally be persistent, i just don't want to scare her off you know? she lives in the city, but is visiting her family in florida.

click to expand

maybe its her virgo venus? that sounds like a virgo thing...they get like that

Posted by MoonshineLeo

Posted by ottootto

Posted by MoonshineLeo
wow thats a hot date! i smile like a little kid when im kissing someone i like alot too. Just giver her some time and be persistent. She did just get out of a relationship with an asshole so it will be a while for her to trust again. Why does she come in and out of your city?

tbh, i don't think she likes me a lot like that. i get a vibe from her that she's using me for these sorta things but it's also like, why even bother hanging out with me at all if that were the case? she's so hot and cold! the date was seriously a blast and she was non stop smiling the entire time. after the date though, when i picked her up a couple days later, it was the opposite and she seemed to have a lot on her mind or was just cold towards me. :\

i can totally be persistent, i just don't want to scare her off you know? she lives in the city, but is visiting her family in florida.

maybe its her virgo venus? that sounds like a virgo thing...they get like that

click to expand

don't leo's tend to have a virgo or cancer venus for the most part?

Posted by earlorg16

Posted by MoonshineLeo

Posted by ottootto

Posted by MoonshineLeo
wow thats a hot date! i smile like a little kid when im kissing someone i like alot too. Just giver her some time and be persistent. She did just get out of a relationship with an asshole so it will be a while for her to trust again. Why does she come in and out of your city?

tbh, i don't think she likes me a lot like that. i get a vibe from her that she's using me for these sorta things but it's also like, why even bother hanging out with me at all if that were the case? she's so hot and cold! the date was seriously a blast and she was non stop smiling the entire time. after the date though, when i picked her up a couple days later, it was the opposite and she seemed to have a lot on her mind or was just cold towards me. :\

i can totally be persistent, i just don't want to scare her off you know? she lives in the city, but is visiting her family in florida.

maybe its her virgo venus? that sounds like a virgo thing...they get like that

don't leo's tend to have a virgo or cancer venus for the most part?

click to expand

yea mines in cancer which is wy diff than a virgo

Posted by earlorg16

Posted by MoonshineLeo

Posted by ottootto

Posted by MoonshineLeo
wow thats a hot date! i smile like a little kid when im kissing someone i like alot too. Just giver her some time and be persistent. She did just get out of a relationship with an asshole so it will be a while for her to trust again. Why does she come in and out of your city?

tbh, i don't think she likes me a lot like that. i get a vibe from her that she's using me for these sorta things but it's also like, why even bother hanging out with me at all if that were the case? she's so hot and cold! the date was seriously a blast and she was non stop smiling the entire time. after the date though, when i picked her up a couple days later, it was the opposite and she seemed to have a lot on her mind or was just cold towards me. :\

i can totally be persistent, i just don't want to scare her off you know? she lives in the city, but is visiting her family in florida.

maybe its her virgo venus? that sounds like a virgo thing...they get like that

don't leo's tend to have a virgo or cancer venus for the most part?

click to expand

Hmm

I think it can be in Gemini, Cancer, LEO, Virgo,

or Leeb.

Posted by MoonshineLeo

Posted by earlorg16

Posted by MoonshineLeo

Posted by ottootto

Posted by MoonshineLeo
wow thats a hot date! i smile like a little kid when im kissing someone i like alot too. Just giver her some time and be persistent. She did just get out of a relationship with an asshole so it will be a while for her to trust again. Why does she come in and out of your city?

tbh, i don't think she likes me a lot like that. i get a vibe from her that she's using me for these sorta things but it's also like, why even bother hanging out with me at all if that were the case? she's so hot and cold! the date was seriously a blast and she was non stop smiling the entire time. after the date though, when i picked her up a couple days later, it was the opposite and she seemed to have a lot on her mind or was just cold towards me. :\

i can totally be persistent, i just don't want to scare her off you know? she lives in the city, but is visiting her family in florida.

maybe its her virgo venus? that sounds like a virgo thing...they get like that

don't leo's tend to have a virgo or cancer venus for the most part?

yea mines in cancer which is wy diff than a virgo

click to expand

Right. I'd imagine having a virgo in Venus as a Leo reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeallly makes it hard for them to commit. So many people are probably into them, and they notice all these tiny flaws. Standards must be higher than normal. Just my guess from my experiences.

Posted by earlorg16

Posted by MoonshineLeo

Posted by earlorg16

Posted by MoonshineLeo

Posted by ottootto

Posted by MoonshineLeo
wow thats a hot date! i smile like a little kid when im kissing someone i like alot too. Just giver her some time and be persistent. She did just get out of a relationship with an asshole so it will be a while for her to trust again. Why does she come in and out of your city?

tbh, i don't think she likes me a lot like that. i get a vibe from her that she's using me for these sorta things but it's also like, why even bother hanging out with me at all if that were the case? she's so hot and cold! the date was seriously a blast and she was non stop smiling the entire time. after the date though, when i picked her up a couple days later, it was the opposite and she seemed to have a lot on her mind or was just cold towards me. :\

i can totally be persistent, i just don't want to scare her off you know? she lives in the city, but is visiting her family in florida.

maybe its her virgo venus? that sounds like a virgo thing...they get like that

don't leo's tend to have a virgo or cancer venus for the most part?

yea mines in cancer which is wy diff than a virgo

Right. I'd imagine having a virgo in Venus as a Leo reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeallly makes it hard for them to commit. So many people are probably into them, and they notice all these tiny flaws. Standards must be higher than normal. Just my guess from my experiences.

click to expand

Mhm exactly.

Posted by aquarius_beauty
From what my Leo bestie has said is that she tends to go for people who probably aren't good for her. She follows her heart more so than her logic. She's done very similar things to what your Leo has done but always goes back to her Aqua. I've asked her the very same question... why? Her response is always "I don't know what it is about him but I just feel so drawn to his essence, his intelligence, his being". She knows that her other suitors are probably the better choice since they treat her well and worship the ground she walks on. But, she always goes back to the Aqua.



Way I see it is that Aquas pose a real challenge for a Leo. Aquas-Leos have met their match in every sense (or close to that) of the way. Aquas will not beg a Leo to stay which Leos themselves aren't accustomed to since Leos always have suitors on the sidelines. They also have this undeniable attraction and connection that is not easily severed.



I wouldn't give up on her but I also wouldn't put all my eggs in one basket.

Seems like Leo's like drama? That's so odd. Ironically all the Leo guys I know are dating Earth signs but all the Leo women I know tend to stay away from them.

Posted by aquarius_beauty

Posted by earlorg16

Posted by aquarius_beauty
From what my Leo bestie has said is that she tends to go for people who probably aren't good for her. She follows her heart more so than her logic. She's done very similar things to what your Leo has done but always goes back to her Aqua. I've asked her the very same question... why? Her response is always "I don't know what it is about him but I just feel so drawn to his essence, his intelligence, his being". She knows that her other suitors are probably the better choice since they treat her well and worship the ground she walks on. But, she always goes back to the Aqua.



Way I see it is that Aquas pose a real challenge for a Leo. Aquas-Leos have met their match in every sense (or close to that) of the way. Aquas will not beg a Leo to stay which Leos themselves aren't accustomed to since Leos always have suitors on the sidelines. They also have this undeniable attraction and connection that is not easily severed.



I wouldn't give up on her but I also wouldn't put all my eggs in one basket.

Seems like Leo's like drama? That's so odd. Ironically all the Leo guys I know are dating Earth signs but all the Leo women I know tend to stay away from them.

Deep down they yearn for it lol. They say they don't but from what I've seen they kind of like it. As long as it's not too heavy.

click to expand

Even when it's heavy they can't resist Aquarius. Lets be real now! Lol

Posted by earlorg16

Posted by aquarius_beauty
From what my Leo bestie has said is that she tends to go for people who probably aren't good for her. She follows her heart more so than her logic. She's done very similar things to what your Leo has done but always goes back to her Aqua. I've asked her the very same question... why? Her response is always "I don't know what it is about him but I just feel so drawn to his essence, his intelligence, his being". She knows that her other suitors are probably the better choice since they treat her well and worship the ground she walks on. But, she always goes back to the Aqua.



Way I see it is that Aquas pose a real challenge for a Leo. Aquas-Leos have met their match in every sense (or close to that) of the way. Aquas will not beg a Leo to stay which Leos themselves aren't accustomed to since Leos always have suitors on the sidelines. They also have this undeniable attraction and connection that is not easily severed.



I wouldn't give up on her but I also wouldn't put all my eggs in one basket.

Seems like Leo's like drama? That's so odd. Ironically all the Leo guys I know are dating Earth signs but all the Leo women I know tend to stay away from them.

click to expand

No, we don't like it. But we don't run from it, and these Aqua guys have a way of getting under our skin to the point that we want to beat them into submission (figuratively). And we egg each other on. It's quite a thing to behold if you've ever witnessed it.

I'm gonna say what I see.

She's playing you for a fool man.

1st off, she was seeing you behind dudes back. She'll do that to you as well because she's not 100% into you. If you're cool with that then read below.......

2nd thing is you gotta stop that hot and cold shit. Put your foot down and tell her you ain't gonna accept that from her. You gotta be strong if you want a Leo chick. She's strong, you gotta be stronger.

Lastly, don't contact her again. I'm willing to bet she won't contact you for quite a while

@ottootto

Ok, this has less to do with her being a Leo. In fact throw astrology to the side on this one. This kind of thing happens to a lot of guys and is very easy to spot and fix.

First know that when you started talking to her she was already preoccupied with another guy (or the absence of one), so that made things tricky. She was emotionally wounded by her cheating Aqua ex and was in the process of licking her wounds. She clearly appreciated the attention you were giving her, but was still emotionally raw, which she herself admitted to when she said "You know my situation, I'm not there yet... lets take it a day at a time." This is her way of saying, "I like you, but slow down buddy."

The one thing men fail to understand about women is that their attractions needs to evolve and grow over time. While guys tend to rush attraction, women tend to sort out their feelings for a guy a bit longer. Fortunately women will help men that they are interested in as well. That was her way of saying, "You're moving to fast right now and I can't keep up. Slow down, play your cards right, and you may get lucky." This is a very common thing.

The other thing you need to know is that women like men with purpose/drive/and a little mystery. They like men who do their own thing and who they can't necessarily control. This is often incorrectly conveyed as "Women want bad boys/jerks." Women don't want bad boys (well some do, but that's beside the point), instead they want good men who do what they want regardless of what anyone thinks (again purpose/drive). They want a man who will surprise them from time to time and be exciting. Just remember that women do not like men who bore them.

Generally speaking you don't want to become a woman's doormat. This becomes unattractive to her. This is why so many people say, "Nice guys finish last." Nice guys tend to be "do boys". "Do boys" constantly try to win the woman's affection by "doing " things for her. These men are basically seeking validation by catering to the woman's every need. The truth is, women can handle themselves and are looking for a man who isn't too easy. Women like men who have purpose/drive/and a little mystery. They want a man who will surprise them from time to time and be exciting. Just remember that women do not like men who bore them. It's the age old adage that people do not value that which comes easy to them. People always want what they can't have. Constantly being present and her emotional confidant doesn't really help your cause when your trying to attract her. She may appreciate it, but only in a platonic way. Instead she'll begin to see you more as a "friend".

This is where you were headed originally, straight into the "friendzone". That's why when you didn't agree to go to the beach, she got upset with you. She became accustomed to you "doing" whatever she wanted. You basically spoiled her. You snapping back at her actually initiated the process of her removing you from the "friends only" category in her head. You proved that you could stand up for yourself and wouldn't just "do" whatever she wanted.

So she left, you found out about the 2nd Instagram, you two apologized and reconnected. At this point you basically have a clean slate with her. Also realized when you were originally talking to her, she was not fully over her ex at that point, hence why she had an on/off thing with him before she came back. Asking her out for Valentine's was a good move because she was apparently interested and emotionally available to go out with you. She clearly didn't mind you being a little physical either while you were dancing. You were clearly getting positive signs of her attraction from her. (Remember women are more subtle, they're not going to say "I'M FEELING ATTRACTION FOR YOU", they will simply allow you to seduce them further. Otherwise they will simply move away or ignore you).

Here's where things fell apart. When you took her home and hugged her, you dawdled. Remember when I said women want a man with purpose/drive. They also want a man who can pick up their subtle cues. Luckily for you, she lingered a bit and gave you the opportunity to kiss her. That was good, otherwise it would've come across as weak (or rather lacking drive) if you hadn't. Every woman is different, but if you're getting the right signals from a woman you're dating (i.e. flirting/being physical), always go for the kiss at the end of the date. This shows that your are the type of guy who is confident and goes for who/what he wants. This also lets her know that you see her as a romantic option and not just as a friend. In the right scenarios this is very attractive. Just make sure you are reading HER signs correctly.

So you ended on a high note, but then you over pursued her. You left her place and because you were so excited sent her a text right afterward that same night. You didn't really give her time apart from you to think about the date and her feelings toward you. You slowly became less mysterious and too easy all of a sudden. If you hadn't already had history with this person, that last text probably would not have mattered. Problem was you DID have a history with her. She already knew you as that "nice guy"/her "do boy" from the past. After the hesitation in your car and the text after the date her attraction probably shifted for you.

So by the time you offered to drive her to the airport, her feelings had clearly dropped. Granted offering to drive her was a nice gesture, but it was also a "nice" gesture. You fell back into that old "nice guy" role in her eyes and she didn't feel the same attraction she had during your date. This is where her hot/cold demeanor came from, it was a summation of all of those things.

My question is how often did you contact her after the date and how often did she contact you? Additionally which of the two of you was more likely to initiate contact, you or her? If you two were communicating often, but you weren't taking the initiative to set any more dates to see her, she probably got bored.

I think she was (and possibly is still) interested in you, but you need to chill out a bit. If a woman goes cold inexplicably, it could be for a number of reasons, but generally all you need to do is wait for her to contact you again. If you send her a text and she doesn't respond, wait to hear back. If you call and leave a message, wait for her to get back to you. After she thanked you via text, you could easily say, "You're welcome, let me know when you're back in town and we'll have some fun!"

Since you two aren't in a relationship, I recommend you also keep your eyes open for other (more stable) romantic options as well.

Posted by Chuckcem
@ottootto

Ok, this has less to do with her being a Leo. In fact throw astrology to the side on this one. This kind of thing happens to a lot of guys and is very easy to spot and fix.

First know that when you started talking to her she was already preoccupied with another guy (or the absence of one), so that made things tricky. She was emotionally wounded by her cheating Aqua ex and was in the process of licking her wounds. She clearly appreciated the attention you were giving her, but was still emotionally raw, which she herself admitted to when she said "You know my situation, I'm not there yet... lets take it a day at a time." This is her way of saying, "I like you, but slow down buddy."

The one thing men fail to understand about women is that their attractions needs to evolve and grow over time. While guys tend to rush attraction, women tend to sort out their feelings for a guy a bit longer. Fortunately women will help men that they are interested in as well. That was her way of saying, "You're moving to fast right now and I can't keep up. Slow down, play your cards right, and you may get lucky." This is a very common thing.

The other thing you need to know is that women like men with purpose/drive/and a little mystery. They like men who do their own thing and who they can't necessarily control. This is often incorrectly conveyed as "Women want bad boys/jerks." Women don't want bad boys (well some do, but that's beside the point), instead they want good men who do what they want regardless of what anyone thinks (again purpose/drive). They want a man who will surprise them from time to time and be exciting. Just remember that women do not like men who bore them.

Generally speaking you don't want to become a woman's doormat. This becomes unattractive to her. This is why so many people say, "Nice guys finish last." Nice guys tend to be "do boys". "Do boys" constantly try to win the woman's affection by "doing " things for her. These men are basically seeking validation by catering to the woman's every need. The truth is, women can handle themselves and are looking for a man who isn't too easy. Women like men who have purpose/drive/and a little mystery. They want a man who will surprise them from time to time and be exciting. Just remember that women do not like men who bore them. It's the age old adage that people do not value that which comes easy to them. People always want what they can't have. Constantly being present and her emotional confidant doesn't really help your cause when your trying to attract her. She may appreciate it, but only in a platonic way. Instead she'll begin to see you more as a "friend".

This is where you were headed originally, straight into the "friendzone". That's why when you didn't agree to go to the beach, she got upset with you. She became accustomed to you "doing" whatever she wanted. You basically spoiled her. You snapping back at her actually initiated the process of her removing you from the "friends only" category in her head. You proved that you could stand up for yourself and wouldn't just "do" whatever she wanted.

So she left, you found out about the 2nd Instagram, you two apologized and reconnected. At this point you basically have a clean slate with her. Also realized when you were originally talking to her, she was not fully over her ex at that point, hence why she had an on/off thing with him before she came back. Asking her out for Valentine's was a good move because she was apparently interested and emotionally available to go out with you. She clearly didn't mind you being a little physical either while you were dancing. You were clearly getting positive signs of her attraction from her. (Remember women are more subtle, they're not going to say "I'M FEELING ATTRACTION FOR YOU", they will simply allow you to seduce them further. Otherwise they will simply move away or ignore you).

Here's where things fell apart. When you took her home and hugged her, you dawdled. Remember when I said women want a man with purpose/drive. They also want a man who can pick up their subtle cues. Luckily for you, she lingered a bit and gave you the opportunity to kiss her. That was good, otherwise it would've come across as weak (or rather lacking drive) if you hadn't. Every woman is different, but if you're getting the right signals from a woman you're dating (i.e. flirting/being physical), always go for the kiss at the end of the date. This shows that your are the type of guy who is confident and goes for who/what he wants. This also lets her know that you see her as a romantic option and not just as a friend. In the right scenarios this is very attractive. Just make sure you are reading HER signs correctly.

So you ended on a high note, but then you over pursued her. You left her place and because you were so excited sent her a text right afterward that same night. You didn't really give her time apart from you to think about the date and her feelings toward you. You slowly became less mysterious and too easy all of a sudden. If you hadn't already had history with this person, that last text probably would not have mattered. Problem was you DID have a history with her. She already knew you as that "nice guy"/her "do boy" from the past. After the hesitation in your car and the text after the date her attraction probably shifted for you.

So by the time you offered to drive her to the airport, her feelings had clearly dropped. Granted offering to drive her was a nice gesture, but it was also a "nice" gesture. You fell back into that old "nice guy" role in her eyes and she didn't feel the same attraction she had during your date. This is where her hot/cold demeanor came from, it was a summation of all of those things.

My question is how often did you contact her after the date and how often did she contact you? Additionally which of the two of you was more likely to initiate contact, you or her? If you two were communicating often, but you weren't taking the initiative to set any more dates to see her, she probably got bored.

I think she was (and possibly is still) interested in you, but you need to chill out a bit. If a woman goes cold inexplicably, it could be for a number of reasons, but generally all you need to do is wait for her to contact you again. If you send her a text and she doesn't respond, wait to hear back. If you call and leave a message, wait for her to get back to you. After she thanked you via text, you could easily say, "You're welcome, let me know when you're back in town and we'll have some fun!"

Since you two aren't in a relationship, I recommend you also keep your eyes open for other (more stable) romantic options as well.

Thanks for sharing this! This helps me understand female's thought more than ever!!

Posted by Chuckcem
@ottootto

Ok, this has less to do with her being a Leo. In fact throw astrology to the side on this one. This kind of thing happens to a lot of guys and is very easy to spot and fix.

First know that when you started talking to her she was already preoccupied with another guy (or the absence of one), so that made things tricky. She was emotionally wounded by her cheating Aqua ex and was in the process of licking her wounds. She clearly appreciated the attention you were giving her, but was still emotionally raw, which she herself admitted to when she said "You know my situation, I'm not there yet... lets take it a day at a time." This is her way of saying, "I like you, but slow down buddy."

The one thing men fail to understand about women is that their attractions needs to evolve and grow over time. While guys tend to rush attraction, women tend to sort out their feelings for a guy a bit longer. Fortunately women will help men that they are interested in as well. That was her way of saying, "You're moving to fast right now and I can't keep up. Slow down, play your cards right, and you may get lucky." This is a very common thing.

The other thing you need to know is that women like men with purpose/drive/and a little mystery. They like men who do their own thing and who they can't necessarily control. This is often incorrectly conveyed as "Women want bad boys/jerks." Women don't want bad boys (well some do, but that's beside the point), instead they want good men who do what they want regardless of what anyone thinks (again purpose/drive). They want a man who will surprise them from time to time and be exciting. Just remember that women do not like men who bore them.

Generally speaking you don't want to become a woman's doormat. This becomes unattractive to her. This is why so many people say, "Nice guys finish last." Nice guys tend to be "do boys". "Do boys" constantly try to win the woman's affection by "doing " things for her. These men are basically seeking validation by catering to the woman's every need. The truth is, women can handle themselves and are looking for a man who isn't too easy. Women like men who have purpose/drive/and a little mystery. They want a man who will surprise them from time to time and be exciting. Just remember that women do not like men who bore them. It's the age old adage that people do not value that which comes easy to them. People always want what they can't have. Constantly being present and her emotional confidant doesn't really help your cause when your trying to attract her. She may appreciate it, but only in a platonic way. Instead she'll begin to see you more as a "friend".

This is where you were headed originally, straight into the "friendzone". That's why when you didn't agree to go to the beach, she got upset with you. She became accustomed to you "doing" whatever she wanted. You basically spoiled her. You snapping back at her actually initiated the process of her removing you from the "friends only" category in her head. You proved that you could stand up for yourself and wouldn't just "do" whatever she wanted.

So she left, you found out about the 2nd Instagram, you two apologized and reconnected. At this point you basically have a clean slate with her. Also realized when you were originally talking to her, she was not fully over her ex at that point, hence why she had an on/off thing with him before she came back. Asking her out for Valentine's was a good move because she was apparently interested and emotionally available to go out with you. She clearly didn't mind you being a little physical either while you were dancing. You were clearly getting positive signs of her attraction from her. (Remember women are more subtle, they're not going to say "I'M FEELING ATTRACTION FOR YOU", they will simply allow you to seduce them further. Otherwise they will simply move away or ignore you).

Here's where things fell apart. When you took her home and hugged her, you dawdled. Remember when I said women want a man with purpose/drive. They also want a man who can pick up their subtle cues. Luckily for you, she lingered a bit and gave you the opportunity to kiss her. That was good, otherwise it would've come across as weak (or rather lacking drive) if you hadn't. Every woman is different, but if you're getting the right signals from a woman you're dating (i.e. flirting/being physical), always go for the kiss at the end of the date. This shows that your are the type of guy who is confident and goes for who/what he wants. This also lets her know that you see her as a romantic option and not just as a friend. In the right scenarios this is very attractive. Just make sure you are reading HER signs correctly.

So you ended on a high note, but then you over pursued her. You left her place and because you were so excited sent her a text right afterward that same night. You didn't really give her time apart from you to think about the date and her feelings toward you. You slowly became less mysterious and too easy all of a sudden. If you hadn't already had history with this person, that last text probably would not have mattered. Problem was you DID have a history with her. She already knew you as that "nice guy"/her "do boy" from the past. After the hesitation in your car and the text after the date her attraction probably shifted for you.

So by the time you offered to drive her to the airport, her feelings had clearly dropped. Granted offering to drive her was a nice gesture, but it was also a "nice" gesture. You fell back into that old "nice guy" role in her eyes and she didn't feel the same attraction she had during your date. This is where her hot/cold demeanor came from, it was a summation of all of those things.

My question is how often did you contact her after the date and how often did she contact you? Additionally which of the two of you was more likely to initiate contact, you or her? If you two were communicating often, but you weren't taking the initiative to set any more dates to see her, she probably got bored.

I think she was (and possibly is still) interested in you, but you need to chill out a bit. If a woman goes cold inexplicably, it could be for a number of reasons, but generally all you need to do is wait for her to contact you again. If you send her a text and she doesn't respond, wait to hear back. If you call and leave a message, wait for her to get back to you. After she thanked you via text, you could easily say, "You're welcome, let me know when you're back in town and we'll have some fun!"

Since you two aren't in a relationship, I recommend you also keep your eyes open for other (more stable) romantic options as well.

Pretty much what he said. Quality post.