Leo and Virgo early problems

Hi there, here's a puzzling story about my new relationship.

I'm a Virgo girl and I met a cutie cutie Leo man. We both go to the same university, he's two years older than me, 22. I met him b/c we have the same friends. So on the first evening we had some fun talking and I noticed he liked me, signs were obvious. So it happened that five days in a row we've been meeting each other intentionally or accidentally. He always walked me home, hugged me. But that's it.

Later we had some dates (it's been a month now), we held hands (his initiative), hugged, but he never kissed me. As I'm the Greatest Analyst of All Time I've been thinking WTF. I think I literally pissed off my friends already with my problem with him. I need to know what's going on, what he's thinking about me or us, b/c otherwise I feel too scared and too insecure I even asked him some questions although people say it is not the greatest move as I could scare him off with being too serious. But that's me, I can't change that.
I must mention he's the type of person who RARELY speaks without joking. He said he doesn't like to reveal himself.
I've asked "is this serious", he said "i don't know, maybe" and then he said he "needs more time, it's too fast for him and everything is WEIRD". One time my friend took me for a beer with some other people and He was there. But among others he was acting in that manner that no one could spot there's something between us. After that he just plainly hugged me and went home, I got home alone, it was quite late, he didn't ask if I came back safely. I was so sad. Jeeez. After this I told him I don't see that he really likes me and that I'm not happy with such relationship. He said "the problem is that I like you, just I can't find words to speak about that, it's not that simple, but everything's WEIRD, I don't know..." I mean, come on! Act then, don't speak... And he was saying that he really likes seeing me. I told him I hate lies and dishonesty more than everything b/c I thought maybe he's just scared of telling me that nothing could happen between us. He didn't change his mind. The other time he really couldn't walk me home and asked if it is okay.
He says he's just a weird guy with weird actions.
Is it just me or this really seems wihout future and not the way things must happen. Are all Leos like that (slow paced, not serious) or I'm just having a problem with a weirdo geek?

I'm a Leo and recently had an awful experience with a Virgo. Well, she found someone else after months of awkwardness and ignorance from both parts.
I was very slow paced because I feared rejection, I tried to find the perfect moment.
But you already have a relationship wit this guy.

He seems odd to me. Why would he be shy when he knows for a fact that you like him?
Maybe deep down he's really insecure.
He might put up an act he's comfortable with, but he can only take it so far. His nonchalant act around others might be fear of public rejection from you.

When I've been with girls and been sure we liked each other equally I never held back on anything. If I've been insecure in te beginning of a relationship I wait for her to declare her love for me, which you seem to have done.
I say confront him again! If he gives you the same bullshit answers he can't be that into you and you should move on.

Oh and make it clear to him that you're worth an EXPLANATION and not some downright stupid answer like him being a weird guy. What's that?! He's avoiding telling you something, or he tries to deny something to himself.

He might have an Aquarius moon, that tends to block people from making emotional connections and openning up in general. Your relationship is still very young. Are you guys official? Because if not he owes you nothing of no explanation and pushing him for one will only scare him away. He maybe scared of rejection but if he's really confident about himself than he's probably just not that into you.

BTW to answer one of your questions. I've dealt with many Leos and they usually are not slow pace, they are usually fast pace when jumping into a relationship. But maybe he has many planets in Taurus, which can cause him to react slow. Also, maybe because I'm an Aries they tend to react fast because I'm a fire sign too. Fire ignites fire.

I don't know, only you know the details of your relationship, so do spill as it will further help us in assisting you.

Well, we're not official, that is bothering me, why not. Either he does not want it to be official with ME or he's just slow in such things. Today I've written him and said this is too difficult for me. What's new: well, he first liked me, having fun, then suddenly things got too fast, I'm thinking that my question on a seventh date "so how did it happen that you caught me" was a mistake, we'll, it wasn't VERY serious wondering. But right after that began that 'too fast' part. Uhm. So he thought that telling me something seems not normal to him would make things worse, that time could heal me. I explained that nothing like this could make me retreat. That time only lengthens the PAIN. He said he tried to wait until things would seem nice and well, but failed. Ant he doesn't want to destroy what we have (what do we have? Fun). Me too. I've told him what kind of person I am, that I'm seeking a serious relationship, maybe too rushed, too serious too soon, but I have no idea how to deal with myself when I feel I really like someone. Fuck the feelings, they are irrational. I'm a physicist. But I'm very very sensitive and lose my good mood very fast. 😄 At the end, he said, maybe it will turn out to be well. Maybe. I need to change my point of view. Just he very rarely talks seriously, I guess I will never be able to fully enjoy what we have as he always appears happy although he doesn't feel good necessarily but he is not willing to express this when not asked. I don't want to lose him, he's a good guy. So I must adapt I guess.

I'll just add some facts.
That last time we had a conversation regarding us, he said it is very difficult for him to pick the right words. I must mention, while we were dating, not a single sentence about our relationship came from his mouth. None. And that last time after he told me what he was thinking, all those things about him liking me in the first, being afraid to say he's not happy with how things are going (even though he saw I wasn't happy at all) as it could hurt too much, that it's still not normal, his willings that we can have a good relationship, etc., after that he just closed his inner door and began to speak about legs of his sofa. I then explained that truth doesn't hurt me that much and told him many many things. He did not respond. That's who he is. I'm suprised he even bothered to reveal himself that one time.
The big question, if he is consciously feeling that he doesn't like me that much to deal with my over-sensitive and very serious side, wouldn't he have told me that? He didn't say "no" when I asked if he thinks it's going to be ok now as he knows me more now. It's still very cloudy. Moving on would be easier. But if I don't get a straight answer I can't do that. Would he even bother telling me his thoughts if he didn't care? But my rational mind unfortunately tells me that this sounds too suspicious... Maybe he just doesn't want to believe and be fully aware of the fact he doesn't like me enough. I've been there before. I tried to convince myself I loved a guy, I told him I did, even though it was a lie, just I ignored the truth till both of us confronted for the last time. Well, it wasn't easy for me to understand nothing's gonna happen. It's so depressing.
I'm thinking that the best thing I can do with this Leo nonsense is just wait and do not try to ask him on any dates. Confrontations with him still leave some room to think and I'll never be cool. Anyways, now he has some work to do, not much time for fun and girls. ;] Jeez it's soo hard.

"The big question, if he is consciously feeling that he doesn't like me that much to deal with my over-sensitive and very serious side, wouldn't he have told me that?"

Unfortunately, guys can be big pansies when it comes to confronting someone they didn't have feelings for. It would make sense considering he is quite closed when it comes to the matters of his emotions.

Logically, it makes sense.

What actually doesn't seem to fit is that he is spending all this time with you, if he has no such feelings. One would believe he had some sort of feelings toward you if he spends this much time, right? Though, the question I must ask is, what kind of time are you spending with him? Are they just casual dates, friendly? Or is there a lot of chemistry, where you guys have established some sort of physical contact beyond hugging. Have you slept with him? These are good questions to ask that can be the deciding factor in whether he could truly have feelings for you or not.

Sorry to probe, but I must know more if I am to completely answer and come to a conclusion.

Opps sorry about that one ^^^^ I've read so many threads it's hard to keep fact straight. Okay let me ask one last question. Does he insist on spending time with you, or you him?

Well, we have only this mild physical connection, like we're teenagers at school, holding hands and hugging, that's it. Not so much.
At the end of a date he always says that we're going to see each other again. I've just proposed some opportunities to meet, the last one was a sort of day dedicated to street music, I've asked him if he wanted to be with me then, he said yes, when we met he said that he traded football with friends for this. ;D
As I've confronted him again, because I was very unsure if he liked me at all (a sort of easily noticeable coldness), he said that we can try building something but he is not sure whether it can still be SOMETHING or not, the only thing I know and he knows (well, he said it's difficult for him to understand his own mind, I don't know... maybe he doesn't lie, maybe he does, but sometimes it happens I quess), that he does not want to drop it. And it doesn't depend on me, he said. I actually think that stopping being such an needy question maniac would be the best thing to do. After all, there's not much faith left and I will naturally stop worrying, today I'm not a worry wort at all, I've came back to being the fun me. I've tried asking him whether it is just a lie to himself, maybe he just doesn't want me, maybe not knowing means that, he said it's not that simple and somehow these conversations made things worse. Well, that's another thing thad led me to conclusion that deep down he doesn't need me. But he doesn't agree. A hard case. I'm not moving on until he says a straight no as I have nowhere to run. But I'm pretty much aware of the fact that with a man liking me more things would be easier. 😄
I'll post here again only when this uncertainty ends in some way.

Okay, just wanted to add one more thing before I leave you be. Hopefully you read this.

If he is the one to initiate a lot or your dates and the time you spend together. Than I wouldn't be surprised that he feels something there for you. Though he may feel uncertain of it, and you asking him is only either 1) scaring him away or 2) making him more doubtful. So it's good you don't ask him. But if this continues for a couple of months or so with no progress, I'd say cut your loss and move on.

Good luck sweetie 🙂.

*losses

So we went on a date. It was pretty fun.
At the end he hugged me.
I lost my nerve and asked:
-Are you going to kiss me next year?
-No.
-Would you like to do that sooner?
-Yeah.
-Soooooooo?..
-I'll leave you in doubts.


: DDDDDDD

😄 I really hope this works out for you. You know you'll have me rooting for you guys 😄.

Does it really happen in real life - if a girl waits it out till some doubtful boy makes his moves without being pushed, doubts never come back and they live happily ever after?
Wouldn't be that bad if the wait wasn't so depressing and difficult. I suck at staying happy and not pushy so I had to sign the paper with some nasty stuff to do if I break that promise to myself. 😄 Damn. I've been considering ending it at the hardest moments but on the other hand, maybe the lesson of patience will be useful later on. Man, I wish there was some statistics about this kind of chance of success. 😄

Hmmm, he's saying things are sorting out in his head and that soon he will be far more available because he finished his final work.
We have very pleasant chats.
I feel optimistic now. : )

Today we met and had some very dramatic moments at first. But in the end he kissed me finally.
: ))

Today I asked him if he has ever been hurt before. He said "yes, but I don't think that's relevant." Well, I think it had made an effect on him even if he doesn't realise it consciously. Don't you think so?

Im a Virgo woman and have had only two Leo men in my life and I have had problems with both. Yes, Virgos and Leos are attracted to each other, but it often doesn't last long on either the first or second try. They took their time in doing everything... Virgos are patient, but only when we know we are #1 in your life. We require a certain level of attentiveness both early and later on in the relationship. We give attentiveness. Many Virgos will give the shirt off their back, cook, clean and be there for you, but we expect loyalty, attentiveness, care, respect, etc. in return. You have to conquer our minds or interest before we even consider going to the bedroom. We wait for a committed relationship from Leos. Leos wait for the physical aspects that they desire out of a relationship. If we such as suspect that you are not committed to us or have another woman on the side, you better have something really good going on. We will keep our legs locked up like a ziplock bag.

As a Virgo, I will tell you... You are not getting anything for nothing. We giveth and we taketh away. Why spend time on something fruitless? Many of us are looking toward the future and want to find someone special. I want to be able to have a beautiful and committed relationship with a man I can share everything with. A king who can take care of me and I can take care of him. When we hurt, it is for a long time. We distance ourselves from those who have hurt us, in hopes that one day they will come back, apologize to us and show us that they can do better. We don't chase, we hope. That is all we want and its hard to get from a Leo. Many Leos are too caught up in themselves. The second time is often worse than the first time.

If you are a Virgo who knows that you are a wonderful person, you waste no time in telling off a Leo. I have never lost an argument with a Leo. Virgos cut below the belt at times. Leos will get worked up and tell you to just go away. Virgos can go for at least 10 rounds after giving several knockouts. Leos just get heated.

Leoleo, I read your post about the Virgo. She may have wanted to see how hard you were going to chase her. Leo take their time in doing everything. If you are not upfront with how you feel, we assume that you are not interested or have someone on the side.

My most recent experience with a Leo. He was very flirtatious and then he cut it off. I became curious and so I asked him about it. He told me that he isn't that attentive with females he just met and that pissed me off. In fact, I told him off. I then remembered that he was sexy and so... I talked to him again. I let him know how attracted I was to him and told him that we should go out. He agreed. He told me that his schedule was open and Wednesday night was a good time. I ended up waiting forever. By the time we went out, everything was closed. I was mad. He couldn't sweet talk me enough. The next day he begged me to give him another chance because HE was worth it. The next night, everything was perfect. Do you want to know what ended everything? He wanted to sleep with me without establishing a exclusive relationship. I told him off. I'm not going to tolerate any pressure from him to give up the booty and I am not sure about him. Must I mention that we are 9 years apart.

Posted by Ike
Ms virgosunshine reminds me why i avoid virgo women so much . As for never losing an arugment with a leo , i think its mostly because your presence irritates leos more than you being strong or whatever . Its not hard to hurt a virgo seeing as how they feel like shit on the inside .

You can't handle a Virgo woman. We are compassionate, but we are not going to let anyone run over us especially, if we are not gaining anything.

Posted by Ike
lol i was just being frank that i don't "like" virgo women . It has nothing to do with "handling " them thing is i am not attracted to robotic women who are lacking in passion and intrigue . Again i am just frank not meaning it to hurt .

What draws Leo men to Virgo women? Im being frank when I say that Virgos usually draw in other signs because of their class, intelligence, passion and intrigue. Leos are often good until they open their mouth to control or coarse like many do. Many Leos expect others to just take with they say and run with their tail tucked between their legs and many Virgos don't go for that. Leos are often full of self building stories and dishonesty so what "real" intrigue comes from that?

what*

Posted by Ike
Must I mention that we are 9 years apart.

Disaster . I never understand these huge age gap attractions.

Im 23 and he is 32 however, he is very immature and lacks drive. He wasn't seeking anything but a sex partner or live in girlfriend. I would have assumed that he was better put together.

Posted by Ike
Alright so you don't like us leos men ! I got the point lol . Its okay though you got your 11 other men to choose from . Happy hunting ! or analyzing 😛

Its not that I don't like you. Many make it so hard for the rest... Virgos and Leos still make good friends in my opinion. Thank you I will do that. 😉

I'm thinking it has nothing to do with astrology now as I know now for sure he had a girlfriend for five years, two last years she had been abroad and when she came back she left him. He did not show his emotions, even his best friends did not know how bad it was for him, but now they know. It's been 1.5 years since he's single and 2.5 months I'm there for him not knowing what to do... And I'm afraid I'm in love and I just can't give it up. I tried not talking to him. Managed to do that for five days and then wrote him how I miss him and he replied that he thought I erased him from my life.
Once he asked me out after the Talk that he does not want to be in a relationship but that date was physically the same as those earlier ones. Hugs and kisses, certainly not friendly. But after this one he just said that dates are not good idea (why? Is he trying not to lose control?). That's when I thought I should end it. And I did. For five days as I've mentioned earlier. But when I wrote him he replied to every message and seemed quite happy I was back.
His old friend said he's very difficult to be with and that's just a fact. I don't really care. I want to love him. All he needs to do is open up and trust me.

Am I too naive?

Esmerine: Leos are really caring people perhaps even too caring. It's not necessarily that he doesn't show his emotions it is more likely that Leos tend to either A) Bottle Things in B)Get angry at some crude comment made and forget 15 minutes later. or C)Use positive forms of receational activities, i.e. The Arts,Studies,Outdoor Activities. If you call him then you he will respond. He will respond to who-ever whip cream with cherry on tops' their egos, with a slight dash just a touch of mystery.Leo's love excitement. If you are a Virgo and this may be difficult but the best question to ask is how he feels about you. I assure you, you will get more than answers. You ask a leo a question, they offer you a charming noble biased speech. But at least you'll really know how he feels?

Posted by Ike
Must I mention that we are 9 years apart.

Disaster . I never understand these huge age gap attractions.

huge? nah

Once he asked me out after the Talk that he does not want to be in a relationship but that date was physically the same as those earlier ones. Hugs and kisses, certainly not friendly. But after this one he just said that dates are not good idea (why? Is he trying not to lose control?). That's when I thought I should end it. And I did. For five days as I've mentioned earlier. But when I wrote him he replied to every message and seemed quite happy I was back.
His old friend said he's very difficult to be with and that's just a fact. I don't really care. I want to love him. All he needs to do is open up and trust me.

Am I too naive?

Yes you are, he told you what he wanted, he did not want to be in a relationship, when men say this they mean it, anything you do now will only make you feel desperate inside, your already chasing him, I would suggest you stop now or get ready for some heartache. He will ACCEPT you chasing him via email, he will let you DO all the work but I can promise you he won't step up to expectations, basically be prepared to carry this relationship on your own, I would avoid reaching out to him unless he's the one initiating....Leo men usually chase the one they want, if he's not chasing you then he's not that interested in you.

If you end things and go back, then your showing him that your desperate and that won't turn out good for you, he will take advantage of your desperation, he doesn't have a problem responding to you because he doesn't have a problem with you but he is sending you mixed messages by responding and being affectionate, he's not seeking anything but a FWB situation if he's not interested in a relationship...get out before you get hurt.