VIRGO AND LEO

Last saturday i had sex with a leo woman i've known for 2 years. We were set up by a mutual friend 2 years ago but nothing every happen because i wasnt trying to have sex. Last week she came over and we had sex it really just happen it came out of nowhere. Like i said we were friends and now she's acting werid she wont go out with me and her other friend. She's acting mad werid and i dont want it to be like that. I left her a message telling her that i know she doesnt want this to happen again and im cool with it but i want us to still be cool. I know the sex was good because she told our mutual friend it was but she's feeling so guilty because there are some other things going on with her.


How can i get our friendship back?

maybe a round 2? sike our friendship is way more important

Sexing up friends usually is a deal-breaker for friendships.


If she's feeling guilty, then it's likely you won't be able to recover this friendship because every time she sees you, she will be reminded of guilt.


How aweful. You are concerned about being friends with her and whether the sex was good or not ... whereas I would be feeling aweful because a person sleeping with me made them feel guilty.

That wouldn't be easy to live with .. don't think I could just blow past that one.

I will never ever understand the concept of friends having sex...I just don't get it so won't even attempt to answer the question. There are clear boundaries here...

I just don't know whether I buy into the man and women ever being completely platonic friends...If two people spend a lot of time together, one party (usually the male) will think of you in another way at SOME point somewhere..that isn't platonic..that doesn't mean you can't be friends but always know that at the back of your mind.

In this instance as P said, it will be awkward now..she's probably thinking a lot more now that you've slept together whereas for a male it doesn't really matter..

Hmmm..good luck

You didnt mention what else was going on with her....I do agree with P-Angel that sex is normally a friends deal breaker. Why would she be feeling guilty? is there somebody else? Who instigated the sex? her or you?



Thing is if you are true friends it will work out...a good friendship wont die because of sex but if you were only acquaintances? Im not sure but one thing not to do to a Leo? push too much, let the dust settle a bit first and let her make next contact....you've done your bit in your message that you want to be "cool" again.

The guilt bit makes me wonder what else is going on in her life....

P angle i know the sex was good trust me her friend told me before i even asked. anyway i really like being friends with her and would hate to loose her as a friend.

how should i go about tryna get her friendship back.

by the way i was just making a joke about round 2.

The funny thing is we kinda talked about it before we had sex and she seemed like she could handle it but after the deed she's the one being werid. Im good and she knows i dont care about what happen it was just sex. Now i do care about her so i wanna fix things. I swear even doe im a female i cant help but wonder why women are so werid. You know what the hell your getting yourself into but then after it's done you start being concerned about how u look come one now.

well chatz let me tell you what else is going on 1 she still has feelings for one of her ex's she was with her for 3 years the girl cheated about 4 times. 2 the mutual friend that hook us up also hooked her up with her cousin. Like i said 2 years ago nothing happen between us , we just always remained friends. Now while we were haing sex the my friends cousin called and i made her pick up the phone while i was hitting it from the back. At the time it was funny but i guess now it's not so funny. After we had sex she had to go meet up with my friend and her cousin to go out i guess that's why she feels like shyt. The is not the first time she did something like this to my friends cousin it's the 2nd. Even doe they arent togeather she feels guilty because she knows how the girl feels about her.

hmmm well that is going to knock her up a lot, plus the feelings for the ex....just give her some time, she needs to deal with her feelings. Im sure she isnt angry at you, probably at herself and with a Leo that's a harsh lesson to learn. Just be a good friend and give her the space, she'll come around in time and your mutual friend will help you there too.

There's always the other scenario where she might actually have feelings for you and doesnt know what to do with them. How do you feel about her? or was it just sex? would you pursue more if she wanted it?

I dont think it's anything there like i said we are friends but not close friends. I truely think it was just sex we didnt even really kiss like that we basically just fcuked. I found of from her besti that she doesnt really kiss if she's not in a relationship. The werid thing with us is that we can talk about anything and i do mean anything. I really dont think she wants anything from me matter i know she doesnt. I hope time will heal all because i really like being friends with her.

ok then that is truly what you need to do...give her time and yes she will heal just fine. She's a leo damnit LOL....we do need time though, sometimes a lot, depending on what she really is going through emotionally...she'd be quite confused right bout now but as I said before, perhaps your mutual friend will play an important role here.

Dont worry too much about her feelings (I know this is hard being a Virgo)...she'll bounce back...she's a Leo, she'll land on her feet hehehe

"pick up the phone while i was hitting it from the back"

"we didnt even really kiss like that we basically just fcuked"



😛


For some reason, my mind is trying to envision two women fucking.



Maybe it has to do with you being so casual about the sex. You've said things like, "but after the deed she's the one being werid. Im good and she knows i dont care about what happen it was just sex." ... you then said that you do care about the friendship, but, the thing is, to comment on your sexual experience with her, insinuating that she was an object, and it didn't mean anything to you .... is a very disturbing feeling to a woman.

Or, erm ... most women.

Your description of events comes across very cold ... like a dude would treat a slut .. she was just a fuck, and now is acting wierd about it.


Women don't normally think in those terms .. under normal circumstances, we are extremely upset when we've been treated this way by another person ... so, perhaps, her acting wierd right now has to do with her feeling she meant to you what a blow up doll would mean to you = a toy.



so, maybe, it would be in your best interest to talk to her with sensitivity about what happened, instead of just saying it was just sex and it didn't mean anything.

I don't know just a thought ... try it, maybe she won't be so wierd around you then.

well your right p angle but i dont wanna call her again i kinda wanna give her space.

Were both adults we both knew what was going on and that we werent trying to be in a relationship so she should act accordingly but i guess i could have came at her in a more respectful manner. How long should i wait to talk to her? or should i let her make the first move?

o yeah i forgot one thing before we had sex she told me she was tired of being used. I forgot about that so i probably made her feel like shyt. i feel so bad now

well me and our mutual friend went out and i texted her from my friends phone telling her that since she didnt come out with us i bought her some food and where was she at so i can give it to her. my friend took the phone and told her that was me. she replied back "why did she do that". i just want her to get over this silly shyt and talk to me. i respect her more than she knows i wish i could tell her this without sounding all desperate because im really not

I dont know if i missed something but she sent me a message during the week i hadnt talk to her since it happen. So on a drunken thursday morning i said this.

me-- come over sexy.


her--- what happened the other day was not supposed to happen and Im not even quite sure how it did. Nevertheless u know we cool and always will be but I dont want to cross that line with you again...I know you'll understand and it prolly dont make much difference to you anyway but I just wanted to say something...anyway I will see you on saturday hopefully and if I dont talk 2 you by 2maro MERRY CHRISTMAS babes 🙂


me---- i understand but we need to talk let me know when you have some free time.

me again i sent this one 20 mins later. it's not really about what happen we just need to talk so dont feel uncomfortable, well you shouldnt cause it's me.




Now i know i was wrong that why i wanted to talk to her and apologize for calling her at 4 am and also sending her a note. I feel like shyt cause i dont wanna make it seem like she's nothing but a booty call.

She never responded to my notes that why i left her that voicemail saturday before we were all suppose to go out and eat.


I bet all the senerious have changed now, i know you guys are gonna rip me a new one.

I really wanna mend things

she said she'd catch up with you...stop trying so hard..let it go for now and meet up when she said she'd meet with you

Yup it's payback time, once she is satisfied that you're feeling as bad as you made her feel, then she'll probably gladly forgive and forget. Well, forgive anyway. My best friend is a Leo and although there's nothing sexual there, we are very close and emotional with each other... over the years I made her feel bad a couple times, by doing things like forgetting her birthday or just not being as attentive as I should, and believe me she keeps score. Usually in some way she has to pay me back. Like "forget" MY birthday a time or two (although of course, since I'm a Virgo it doesn't have the same impact). Once we're "even," she is magnanimous in her forgiveness. So just fall on your sword a few more times. APOLOGIZE, do more things like buying her food, some presents wouldn't hurt, let her know how important her friendship is to you, that she has the upper hand, and that you'll never impose on her again. If there is ever again to be sex, let HER initiate. I'm sure it will be fine.

Athena

chatz

"she said she'd catch up with you...stop trying so hard..let it go for now and meet up when she said she'd meet with you"


she said that before i called her this saturday, remember we slept togeather a week ago on saturday and i called her drunk on this past thursday and we had already made plans this saturday that just past that's when she didnt answer and i left that message.

st. athena i dont think sex will happen again but i do want to find out what going on in her head? how do i go about that after so much needed space i know that's first

Why even play at this, is my question?


If you truly cared about this woman as friend, as you claim you do .... then you would stop with your saying things like .. Hey sexy, com'here ... and let her be.

It appears to me that your intentions here are for selfish purposes. You realize that she is upset with you, and you dont' want to live with this, so you would continue to contact her in the same tone in which is the very one which has her upset ... and this flies over your head.

It flies over your head because you aren't considering that this action is what has upset her ... you are only considering that you need to redeem yourself, so you are going about it by making a play at her.


If you do indeed care about this woman .... then leave it alone. The more you make plays at her by buying her things and calling her sexy, the more you make yourself look like a fool because it's self-serving.

It appears to me from everything you've posted about this situation .. that you are experiencing guilt, and dont' know what to do with it, so you're attempting to hold her responsible for it by accepting what happened as meaningless ... so you can carry on without these feelings burdening you.



Let it go ... it happened ... swim, and let her be.

p angle u need to read i've only contacted her 3 times .

1st time i was drunk that was last thrusday

2nd time saturday to apologize and ask her if she was still coming out

3rd time saturday eveing this is where i text her from her friends phone.


ps. i never contacted about the club her friend asked me and i was telling her what my plans were so she invited (the girl i slept with, which i was fine with)

I COULDNT TAKE IT ANYMORE I EMAILED HER THIS JUST NOW



Hey (INSERT NAME) i just wanted to apologize for calling you ar 4am i didnt mean to offend you in. I was very intoxicated and drunk dialed a couple people well i also got on the internet i dont know what the fuck i was thinking. Anyway i hope you can forgive me and start speaking to me again, i'm sincerly apologizing for my rude behavior. What happen between us was out of nowhere, i cant change the what happen but i can control how i treat you. (INSERT NAME) i really think your a sweet and beautiful person. You may not remember what was said during our first couple convos but i do, i remember sitting outside my job waiting for the next shift to start. I was talking to you about everything under the sun that shyt blew my mind cause i hadnt click with someone like that in a long time. The funny thing it's still that way 2 day, you may not belive me but i've shared somethings with you not even (INSERT NAME)knows. Most of the time you just offer good advice so i feel like i could talk to you about anything. Take the first time we hung out we just watched a movie and talked (you may not realize it but i fucked with you for that). I value out friendship and the little time we have spent togeather i would hate to loose that, i thought you coming home would bring us closer. Remember when i told you that you could escape at my house or if you just wanted to get away and go out i meant that shyt.I hope we can still do that especially when the sperm doners ( our fathers) are pissing us off. Well i hope you let me make it up to you with dinner and a movie ( french movie i wanna see sorry im werid i like shyt that if i know u might be 2).

I think you are trying a bit too hard now. She's probably loving the attention. She is a leo afterall.

Forget about it. Do your thing. I am sure if you mean something to her she will come back. Enough of the chasing already. Jeez

lol you guys are crazy that email i sent her was the first one since saturday i've only contacted her twice before then but my instincts paid off.


THIS IS FROM HER

I promise u I woke up with you on my mind and got on pc just to send u a msg and here u have already sent me one I just got ur msg u left me saturday and Im sorry I have not been avoiding u babes...Ive just been going thru some butter and arguing with Lauren cuzzin so much I havent really wanted to talk to anyone. I know what happened was that big of a deal and u arent sweating it and Im not upset about it...We are still cool and I hope that we still are friends. I love hanging around you, I can talk to you and you make me laugh. I didnt mean to mae u feel bad at all...I was not ignoring you I just have a problem checking msg's and I really didnt wanna call ur house back(ur sperm donor scares me, speaking of sperm donors I gotta tell u bout mine too this fool tripping). Anyway everything is good babes Im straight just plz dont mention anything that happened to Mo it would literally kill her feelings and I cant do that to her anymore. Call me when u get some time

Hurrrah!

Dilemma resolved..

NEXT!!!!!

::rolls up sleeves::

yeahhhhhhhhhhhhh

but now i gotta figure out if she likes me or not.


that may take time so i guess i'll fill her out, lol i tired to chop up her email to see if their was any subliminales messages. I think i saw a couple mmmmmmmmmmmmm

Forgive me but I thought you guys were just friends? Now you fancy her?

God I get confused..I can see this going down the whole friends with benefit route..

Girlfriend calls boyfriend after waiting 4 days to hear from him. She just can't bear to go another day without knowing what is the matter, why hasn't he called her. She rings him, and he says .. 'I was just getting ready to call you, you read my mind'


^^^ Yeah right, sure .. eventhough it's been 4 days, and he wasn't just ready to call after day 1, he didn't pick up the phone after day 2, at day 3 there still was no thought to pick up the phone ... but, on day 4 just seconds before she called him, he had decided to think about her.


'There's nothing wrong sweetheart, I wasn't ignoring you, I'm just really busy, is all.'


^^^^ Yeah right, sure ... eventhough late at night when you're laying in your bed, all the duties of your day are done and there is nothing to distract you expect a raging hard-on ..... you still would not call me. Even at these times, your thoughts aren't with me .... but, just seconds before I call you, the thought of me just randomly popped in your head?


Geez thanks alot asshole ..... later ***swims***



virgo28 ... why are you two playing at each others feelings? You pretend friendship under false pretenses, and she has a girlfriend.

actually she doesnt have a girlfriend she just talks to someone else. By that i mean they arent official they just go out they havent even kissed but a handful of times.


i dont know why she's playing games i realized that ignoring shyt was intentional. i'll be ok because i deserved thati shouldnt have called her at 4am.