Dating again... how long?

I have had a few people tell me I should be seeing someone else already. I am curious how quickly other Libras move on after a long term serious relationship (mine was marriage, but examples don't have to be). Move on as in entering a new relationship, not getting over the last one.

What is wrong with taking some extended "me time"? Why is it assumed that because I am not with someone new that I am not "over" the old?

I put my ex out in April. The divorce was final in July. There has been a lot of drama since she left, her coming back crying and playing games etc. I tried to be there as a friend but gave up on that too recently, it isn't worth it. I do not want her back or to have any kind of relationship with her (other than what is necessary because we have kids).

I hardly think about it but people keep saying I should be dating or going out with someone. Over the weekend we had our company Christmas party and I got asked by a few people if I was bringing anyone. I understood the first time it was asked, we had to make reservations and they needed to know who was coming, but for others to keep asking and then seem disappointed when I kept responding no... why is that odd? Oh, and I kept getting questioned about my female friends still being just friends even though I am single now. Why is it so hard to believe a guy and girl can be just friends?

I think some people just naturally enjoy minding the business of others and giving their two bits as well - especially in terms of relationships. There's nothing wrong with extended "me time", especially if it's after a period of stress/drama. You can learn a good bit about yourself and accomplish some stuff you may not have had time for while in a serious relationship.

Yeah, that's annoying when people assume that if you're not pursuing a serious relationship that it's because of a broken heart and lingering emotions. In fact, I would think it to be more strange for someone to jump into another relationship quickly after just ending a serious one a few months earlier. Like you said, then comes the unwanted relationship advice about how you need to date other people. Blah, blah, blah. I know the meddling is probably done with good intentions, but still. If you wanted their advice, I'm sure you'd ask.

I don't feel like there can be any way to actually measure what an appropriate amount of time between ending and beginning a new relationship. It's emotion, not science. Regardless of it being a few months or a few years, it's time for dating or a new relationship when you find the right person. When the time and person is right, it just happens on it's own. Anyone who says otherwise can suck it.

About males and females being just friends? Yeah. Definitely possible. Though I am a believer that if after a period of time you continue to be great friends with someone of the opposite gender... even if neither individual acts on it... there will, at some point, probably be some kind of attraction from either or both parties. Of course, not always, but often. Why are you friends with someone? Common interests, similar viewpoints perhaps, fun to be around, etc. Such things could also be attractive in a more intimate way than friendship. So, there's always that chance when you're mixing a good friendship with the opposite gender.

I think after a serious relationship its always good to take some "me time" just to regourp and remember who you are as an individual. Only you can know when you are ready to start dating again. I have a tendancy to jump straight into another relationship which never ends well.

I split up with my ex fiance in March/April (including all of the him keep coming back nonsense) and I now feel I am ready to be with someone else. I'm not really into casual dating so I am looking for something serious.

But everyones different. You will know when your ready, what anyone else says doesnt matter 🙂

Take all the time u need Sid. Only you know when and with whom you are ready to make the next move with! I've been separated for 5 years and had alot of me time to work out who I am and learn to love me again. There really wasn't any room to love anyone else and that was evident when I did go out and try with some... Relationships crashed and burnt before really getting off the ground. Only now after all this time am I feeling ready to trust and love again yet there isn't anyone on sight!

As for your friends and family they will always be sticky beaking and asking the questions but in all honesty that's all you'll get and you'll be fortunate if they don't want to set you up with the perfect partner and you don't have to go on s blind date with this person they know that will be oh sooo right for you, cos it's like what the he'll were they thinking wen setting me up with him!!!! Yes it can be annoying with all the questions but they start to realize that in your own time you will meet someone and they will understand that it's because you are looking for a real person to connect with! I make light of that question all the time. You know ask a stupid question get a stupid answer!!!

Male and female friends... Not in my world. Not friends like meeting up regularly for lunches breaky or just drinks. Tried that and as you said there is always mixed feelings there. But play it by ear as per individual, that to me would be the best to have a male friend that was purely that and we could hang together wen at loose ends!

Good luck with it and just remain true to number one you and your kids. (:

Thanks for the kind words everyone. I'm really not worried about it I was just curious about time frames for other people trying again. I know it's different for everyone and don't expect someone to be able to answer how long until I try again. It'll happen when it happens. I'm in no rush and am not really even interested right now.

Oh and the friend thing. I've seen it happen (and experienced it myself) where what started as just friends became a lot more. That still doesn't mean it can't be just friends. The vast majority of my female friends have remained just friends.

Posted by sweethearts

Good luck with it and just remain true to number one you and your kids. (:

Oddly enough, my kids have told me to get a new girlfriend too.