Dominant or Submissive?

Okay all you Libra guys (and gals if you want to answer),

Do Libras like their partners to be more dominant or submissive in bed?

The reason I'm wondering, is the other day when my Libra and I were together, I wanted to straddle him so I could look straight into his eyes, kiss his lips, stroke his face, etc. And he pulled me to the side and said (lovingly), "no you don't, you're too dominant on top." He seems to have no problem with me lying partially on him with one leg over him, and I've straddled him before and he never said anything.

So just wondering, do you think he's just teasing (we do tease each other a lot) or do Libras really not like too much dominant nature from their gals?

Anyone?

It's meant but equally it's not a complaint...

uuwww! Maygirl. Why was I going to post the same question!!! Reason being my libra and I have been talking in length about our likes and dislikes in bed and he has mentioned an interest in dominatrix.. I have little to no knowledge of this. So I read an article on it that was kind of scary but opened my eyes to the subject a bit. He states he is tired of always being the one in control and would like to be submissive. Now I have no problem being dominant in my own way, but to have a structure that I am supposed to follow, will be hard for an aquarius. Then I think.. what if I am not doing it right or to his liking or something.. What if I am not meeting his need in the act. Then I will be embarrassed and have waisted my time and energy. Libra's any suggestions??

Also, Maygirl.. I love to straddle guys and kiss, etc. 😉

Aqua, I think I would go to a public place first...

Go for a drink, or something - do not drink too much though. Smile a lot. Feel at ease with words. Talk about nothing. Crack some jokes. It'll be great.

You don't have to bring anything up. He won't...

If it's day time that you will see each other, go and do something, ice skating or something.

I prefer a dominant aggressive lover.

Change is good. Every now and then I get dominant.

A guy really has to be on his game with me. I have A LOT of personality and will just mop the floor with someone I don't respect. I need a guy who can earn my respect by setting me on my ass once in awhile. I think all Libras need to look up to their mate.

Getting me to behave can be quite the war, VERY few men have won.

So Libra, are you saying he is saying that is his way of putting us in equal terms then?

I always feel like we were equal with each other. I never thought one was more overly aggressive than the other. I am certainly not the shy, make-him-do-all-the-work kind of girl; I like to be in on the action too.

I guess I'm okay then. I was just worried that it turned him off or something. He seems fine though (and Little Sparrow, like you, I think my Libra likes a little bit of a dominant partner as well).

Brat, our antics are certainly nowhere near the heavy dominatrix level; I think that would scare me a bit too.

I think he is comfortable enough with you to say it. So yes equal.

He means it but it is said in the moment. He actually does not mind. Just an observation.

We need Nico. Nico??!! Come hither...!

Alright I'm here.

Ok, well since were on the topic there are three types of bedroom personalities. Dominant, Submissive, and switchers. Switchers are the least common of the three types, they switch from dominant to submissive, sometimes having a slight preference for one of the other. In the astrological context, even though societally switchers are the least common, in my experience most Libras are switchers. I am, but with a preferrence for dominance.

This is gonna get confusing so recap: I like fifty fifty, but natrually revert to being dominant. I have a lot of confidence in bed and like to control the pace of things.

Heres the kicker, I am dominant in a weird way. I am not very aggressive. I use my charm and tease to bring my partner to the point where they "can't take it anymore" and make the first move. It appears on the surface I am being submissive but it was completely calcualted, I am in control without it being apparent. Once they make the initial surge I turn the tables and take control of the experience. Weather it be tossing the girl on the bed and teasing her endlessly or rolling over and placeing her on top of me, I am usually dominant about it. I remain dominant without being aggressive, usually. That is the other factor, even when dominant we are really intuitive about what our lover wants so even if we are taking control, we are doing it in a way that we can feel is the most satisfying for our partner. I have also been described as being dominant by the fact I alwayse get the other person off before I do myself, alwayse. I didn't think of that as dominant behavior until it was pointed out to me.

But, since I switch, I get bored if I am alwayse dominant, I can be so as long as here and there the girl takes complete control and has her way with me. All Libra males have a fantasy of being not their girls sex slave, but sex toy. In the end we are still the givers, not the takers.
I am not satisfied until my girl is moaning half unconcious rolling around on the bed wondering what the hell just happened.....our dominance comes out in our quest for ultimate pleasure.

I did the bondage thing with a Sag girl, I don't think we are inherantly comfortable with it as a sign. She wanted me to dominate her, tie her down bite her spank her and all of that. I met her half way by tying her down, blindfolding her and teasing her until the silk rope was about to snap....I can't really bring myself to do anything that I think would hu

This is also why we tend to start slow with the act of sex itself, and are huge on foreplay. We can't stand the idea of sex being uncomfortable so we make sure that our partner is passed the point of "no return" and still when it starts we tend to be more sensual and etheric, and let the intensity build rather than just drive it home off the bat because well....Venus signs are typically well endowed so gotta be gentle usually.


And theres more than you ever needed to know on the topic.

Nico, you always seem right on target with what seems to be happening between my Libra guy and me.

I can totally see this in him, now that you explained it that way. He sounds so much like you!

Thanks!

It was kinda cool with that Libra girl last week when things turned sexual, we were both aggressively trying to please each other, make the other submit, it was like I was with the girl version of me. I kinda liked it 😉

Nico, when you are totally comfortable with a woman in bed, how do you act? Tease about things? Suggest things? Ask what she likes? Talk about things in general?

I would like to think my guy is totally comfortable with me (it seems that way to me), but you always wonder.

Nic, that sounds EXACTLY like my Libra. Luckily, I am also a switcher (surprise, surprise) and I can go with the flow. If I am on a dominant streak and he wants a change, he'll gently just change things up. I LOVE it b/c I don't always know what to expect, and also b/c he is so gentle about it, I never feel like a fool or feel bad for taking control when he wants it.

Yeah, that sounds about right. The real fun starts when we can tell you are comfortable, it's something we kinda feel. When the other person completely gives in the real fun starts.

I am very playful when I am comfortable. I say a lot of funny but sarcastic/cynical things, most of it is teasing. if a girl is walking around in ther pajamas I will pants her, or steal an item of clothing and talk her into keeping it off. 😉 towel snapping, spontanious stuff like that.

Nic.. you never let us down.. I bow to you, with pleasure..

I think this will really help me relate to my libra...

You know, this is why I fall for Libras over and over again! Just reading your post made me smile to myself. If I met you somewhere Nico, I'm sure I'd be totally drawn to you!

Libra men!

And Ammrocks, I'm a Gem girl with a Libra guy too. The dynamics of your relationship sounds so much like mine! Go girl!

Libra..

We are going to hang with my friends that night, he said he wants to get me drunk, but not too drunk, which is fine with me but I am not sure what will happen after my friends ditch us.. I am not planning to bring up anything extra. I have mentioned several times to him that it is fun exploring with him our different sexual tastes but we have not even kissed yet. I think we may be moving at wharp speed right now and are heading for a crash if we don't slow down.

Your both welcome.

Aqua if your libra seems a little reserved tease him, wrestle with him. My scorp ex knew just how to loosen me up, she was crazy, I would be sitting there and she would just tackle me and this huge wrestling match would start. Then we would have sex. Meh....you know.

I am good at doing really off the wall stuff with a strait face. I like to shock people then look at them like "What, why are you looking at me like that." The best was when I was standing in the bedroom stark naked.

Her:"Hurry up we're going to be late! My mom is ALWAYSE on time! Stop being stupid and put your clothes on!"
Me: "Your moms going to be there! Hold on l better stretch first."
I then proceeded to put my foot up on the window sill and do lunges completely naked not breaking eye contact with her and maintaining a completely expressionless face. The scorp girl took it in stride.

Ditto Maygirl.. and it is not just nico.. thelibran is the same way.. just draws you in, can't help it even if you try. However, Nic and thelibran seem to really know themselves well and are able to help us females, because of the level of their awareness. My libra does not know himself all that well or just isn't sharing with me. I told him last night that "I don't know" is going to be banished from his vocabulary from now on. Every time I ask a deep question I get this response and I am tired of it. This would make for a boring site if these guys just got on and all we ladies got was "I dunno" every time we asked a question. I don't know how to get him to open up completely. I know he is trying, but for some reason, he keep his walls high and I am not a climber.

If I am really comfortable around their family, I have a knack for finding girls with families that think I can do no wrong. That is when the real fun starts.

Ok Nic.. you really are crazy.. LOL!!! Can't do anything else with that but laff!

My mom is an aquarius and a nurse. There is no shocking that woman, my how I try. Ill be on the phone with her and start talking about sex with some girl or my penis or anything and whatever friend is around looks at me like I just strangled a puppy or something, my mom just laughes. Totally strange. I can't shock her anymore.

Nic.. my libra is like that too. It is the way in which you say things that is sooooo funny to us. He will say something that is horrible, but in a funny way and I can't help but to laff,(and I laff loud too, like Julia Roberts, i've been told) then I think to myself, oh, I don't think I was supposed to laff at that. Then I feel bad, but I can't help it... So I know what you mean.

Yes muy libra guy caught an instant *cough* on, when he heard about the knee high boots and whip...

He is very into domination and wants to be dominated...but he also wants to dominate. He refered to it as "sensual punishment" (thats sucha libra thing to say.

......then he said something about wearing the boots himself...weird....

Yup thats exactly what I do. It's like if most other people said it the response would be (thats F*ed up man) but for some reason it gets everyone else rolling. Especially air signs. My best friend of like 18years is a Gemini. When him and I are around each other it gets crazy, we feed off of each others humor, we can ad-lib anything from a homo-erotic islamo-terrorist conversation to a creepy inner monologue. Good times.

Nic.. "homo-erotic islamo-terrorist conversation to a creepy inner monologue"
LOL!!!!!

hehehe

Lady M

Please tell.. have you done this? Are you comfortable with it? Is it fun? Does it turn you on? How do you know if the other party is turned on or not? I asked my libra how would someone know if he was turned on.. of course I got the "I dunno" statement. Said he does not moan or anything like that.. OK that is weird..

Well we never got around to it...But we've talked about it ALOT.

He has this thing he likes to do with baby oil...he gives a "sensual" massage that leads to the good stuff...

He also wants to wrestle and told me he'd let me win...😉 Ive noticed he's easily turned on. 🙂

But yes he likes the whole dominatrix get up...full body corset, make-up, boots, whips, etc...very visual creatures, those libras.

I have no problem with it (aqua) I actually love it, but i also want to feel like a woman and be dominated just a teeny bit myself 🙂

I hinted to some serious damage....whole other level!

He's lying. Our imaginations are so much a part of us that we feel like if we go along with it we are letting you in. We analyze everyone from their tone of voice to fluctuations in speach, word choice, everything so we assume everyone else does the same thing. We don't get it sometimes that someone just wants us to talk, that they aren't scoring us. Don't worry about his chickening out. I don't usually like to talk about it candidly like that either. The Libra girl I went to visit, prior to that when we would talk on the phone she would say stuff like:

What do you want to do to me right now?

Tell me what you want me to do to you right now.

What would you do if I did this right now?

At first I was like him "I dunno." But she loosened me up a bit over the next couple of conversations and my descriptions became very vivid...we have a hard time not getting into it if it's not actually happening to us.

"He has this thing he likes to do with baby oil...he gives a "sensual" massage that leads to the good stuff..."

Yeah I do this as well, after sex even. Course I always end up going down on em...before, after....on the phone, in the shower....in the car. Just makes sure the oil is ingestable because I doubt any other guy libra is any different.

Libra men are always on 50-50... we prefer to switch sides. and gemini always gets the thing perfect by switching it in perfect time...

Yes nicodemus is correct...they are prudes, but give it time...

Ooooh ya he knows how to go down....

Nico, as usually you always hit it on the nose. That is exactly how it was with my libra friend and husband and actually the other two Libras.

I am totally a switcher. After my ex, with my Libra friend I paid more attention to the sex preferences (I guess because that is what the focus was on after we became FWB). He is exactly like you described Nic, he is subtly dominate AFTER HE MAKES SURE i AM SATISFIED AND ABOUT TO BURST! He is extremely attentive, and brings out all kinds of charactoristics in me that don't normally jump out, so sometimes I become a little dominate and since he loves to please he submits...but, like you said he teases a lot and plays around and flips and the positions are un heard of!!!

So, yes he ends up dominating after all and I do love that. However, he loves the dirty talks and how I insist he tells me how much he misses me and my parts... Then how I tease him until he can't take and say things like "I don't believe you, show me how much you miss this" give him a little and yank it away to the point where he lifts me and one swoop and does whatever he pleases and I always love whatever it is. Then I submit and become the submissive one. So the switching keeps you guys going for sure.

OH!!! Libra men are masters at oral sex. They are total givers, they can turn a girl who would perfer to just be a reciever gladly become a giver. Oral from head to toe literally, but phenomenal in the main area.

Ha! I don't know if there is such a thing as "after sex even" with a Libra and a bottle of oil!

The Libran - We Geminis are natural "switchers." I've been with guys who were thrown off by that or didn't like it even, and it's no dice for me.

One interesting thing I was reflecting on about my relationship w/ my Libra is that he was not into me taking charge in the beginning of things. I remember thinking "uh oh...this is never going to work." I don't know if he needed to establish himself or get comfortable with the fact that I can please myself while also pleasing him...luckily he came around just in time.

*fans self*...heck yeah!

Queen...

You sound just like me and my Scorp. Ex. We are pretty amerous independantly but when we were together the sex never stopped, or got boring. EVERYTHING, the most mundane thing became sexual with us. She would ask me to get something off of the top shelf and while my arms were up and I was defensless she would grab my happy place and go to town. We would walk by an alleyway and I would swoop her inside before she even realized what was going on and lift up her skirt...you get the rest. Oh and the positions, I am a martial artist, she was a dancer.....you get the idea. You have to be flexible to do it in a 1971 datsun 240z anyway. 🙂 And loud? She could drown out an air raid siren.

libras too ammo, jus tat we are scared to switch when its someone who doesnt hav the capacity to switch.

My Libra loves the dirty talk too. On the phone with each other it goes back and forth between both of us. And in bed, it's just crazy. He says he loves the sounds I make. And he also is a very visual guy. He loves to see me in different lingerie, etc. This last time was a black silk nightgown with tie-up sides, black thigh-high hose with a seam up the back and black strappy high-heel sandles. He loved it! I have bought more lingerie in the last six months than I have the last several years!

I have noticed that although we'll talk about all sorts of things, and he will joke and tease like he would be into it, I think some of that really is just talk. Last week while lounging in bed afterward we starting looking through this Lovers' Quiz book. Basically it asks questions and you're supposed to see if you know how your lover would answer. Well, some of the questions I thought he would answer yes (based on things he has said), he answered no. For instance, one question was "The two of you are out in a restaurant, would reaching under the table for a hand job be a yes or a no." I thought he would say yes (I would, no one is likely to see you, and so what if they catch on). Well he said, no, not in public. When I said "yeh, but what if it's a booth and there's a tablecloth, no one would know" then he seemed to think about.

This sort of goes back to the dominant thing. Would something like that (a woman giving him a handjob out in public) be too dominant for him?


PS. I should post some of the questions here and see how you Libra men would answer. 🙂

Yes, do post them!

I let the guy be more dominant in the bedroom, but I run the show outside of it, but he'd never know that so shhhhh....I seem to have a bit of a manly streak that confuses my friends ~*shrugs shoulders*~ they don't know if they are talking to the man or the woman in me... but on the other hand I've been known to throw guys against the wall and take what I want... only when I've been drinking though.

Nic, yeah, my ex and I have had to get quite a few things replaced in our house from every room because of our spontaneity. It just happens with us. Never with another sign with me. Yes, as a scorp woman we are very imaginative and hate boring sex (good way to for us to lose interest fast)

My Libra friend and I have also done it in crazy places, however with him I seem to come up with things he hasn't quite done. We too have a couple of firsts. We made a porn movie and watched it afterward. He said that was his first (not mine... Shhhhh). We had sex on the lake (Lake Michigan) - Chicago, during the day just behind the rocks, as people jogged by and if they just happened to stop and look over they could clearly see (I was wearing a skirt and sitting on top so not too exposed) His first. Oh, and at night on the roof of his Hummer in the rain. Ohhhh the memories...

Anyway, I am getting myself all worked up here. We make and awesome sexual pair!!!

OIL TREATMENT!!! How on earth could I forget!!! Didn't forget just got caught up...

Boy oh boy is all I can say about that. I love being massaged.

Nic, I too can be very vocal... We scorps don't care who hears...

Maygirl, like a scorp gimi's are a little wild... heeheee. Libra men like freaky things, however, they are normally very picky about places they get freaky at, as we just go for it!!! However, it is in the delivery, you can persuade them to do whatever you want freaky in any situation if you can get them comfortable enough to just let go and do it without thinking about it. Trust me I have... This also doesn't take any verbalizing either... Hint, hint.

Ladies, something I was told a few years ago and I am finally mastering this to my advantage. Women have the most power over a man (that's right any man) Femininity and Sensuality can make a man do whatever you want!!! You must practice it for awhile to really get it. It takes time. I am not yet perfect, but I am damn good and still working toward perfection.

QS.. very interesting heads-up on the sensuality and the feminity thing.. I would consider myself both, but never thought about it in any length. I will think about that for a while.

Nic.. oh Nic.. once again you have done it. I almost want my libra and me to sit down and view this site bc he could learn so much about himself here. He brought it up again today.."So you're not really what you appear to be, all innocent like." I just came out and said, "why do you keep saying that, like I am putting on a front for you". He said that he just feels so sinful around me, bc I go to church, don't curse, don't go to clubs etc and he works at a club, drinks every night etc. I don't know what to say. I said "well in my mind things are different, I just usually don't do the things I think about." I think I am going to write him an email tonight explaining myself a bit. I have been working on myself and getting some of those feeling that are in my head out and acting on them. Since I left my husband I have been different and he happens to be witnessing the change in my life while it is happening. So it may appear that I used to be one way and now I am not, but that's because that is exactly what happened. I told him when we hang out with my friends next week he will see. I can be the life of the party, but I am the "innocent" one of every group I am in. Kind of like Charlotte on "Sex and the City". All my friends call me Charlotte, bc I have this youthful optimism and naiveness about me that comes from being sheltered all my life and introverted.

That is why some of the things that are said here are so amazingly refreshing to me. I just don't know about a lot of stuff and that is sad to be 32 and have not experienced anything really..

your such an aquarius...32.. wow


Queenscorpio:

Ive known about the power practically all my life...its kinda innate for us all. Just gotta use it...right.

WOW ladies.. you all have great knowledge about this dominatrix stuff. I am going to treasure all your stories and hopefully will be able to use them in the future to work with my libra.

Nic.."And loud? She could drown out an air raid siren"

I am pretty loud myself, and when I try to control it, things only get worse.

And QS.. "Yes, as a scorp woman we are very imaginative and hate boring sex (good way to for us to lose interest fast)"

I know what you mean. Aquas are the same, we are just undercover with ours as to dissillusion our prey, catch him off guard. We love to spend our work days daydreaming of ways to blow his mind and then we go home and act it out!

"He said that he just feels so sinful around me, bc I go to church, don't curse, don't go to clubs etc and he works at a club, drinks every night etc. I don't know what to say."

Oooohh, this is what you want to focus on right here. What he is doing, what all us Libra guys do when things start to get a little heavy is kind of outline and highlight our life style and the faults that lie within that life style . We make it a point to show you the bad so that you have a good understanding of who we really are. We all have a "accept me for who I am" complex, and we tend to come accross to everyone as being "Better" in every sense of the word, than we really are. We have all, I guarantee it, had relationships where the girl falls for us, realizes we have a dark side then tries to change us. We like our dark side, it makes us feel alive. I think this is exactly his fear that you will "wake up" and realize you are dating a DJ and a partier and later try and change this. Now, say down the road the two of you get really serious, he will change his habbits to become more aligned with yours, but it is never through force or persuasion. The best thing to do really is tell him "I know you", "I like you....not who I want you to be".

There will come a point were you do realize you have been under a spell so to speak, it will happen, it happens to ALL of the girls we are with, and we always fear the moment the other person realizes it. In almost every relationship we have, how the other person deals with this realization determines almost immediately weather or not the relationship works. More often than not it doesn't, once we understand this about ourselves we start to highlight the bad to the people we are interrested in, it is usually an attempt that goes in vein to prevent the later realization that you were under our magic spell.