judging

Okay so isn't one of the main libran stereotypes that they judge people really quickly? For those of you who don't know, I really liked this one and I could be wrong, but I feel like she misjudged me early on when we first met, and then she treated me poorly as a result. Thats just how I feel about it, I don't know if thats the reality of the situation. Now, it seems to me like the more I tried to show that I had been misjudged, the more she misjudged me. For future reference, if a libran misjudges me, whats the best way to let them know, and prove it to them?

I think that's been my experience too, couple of days ago I had a brain storm and vented it at this chick's dad lol. Even though they may not make quick judgements I came away feeling misjudged.

I've noticed that Libra girls are not necessarily the most approachable ones although from a distance atleast they do have a fascination for me, other ones can be quite contrary they go overboard with the personableness and friendliness.

Do you think they tend to be more judgemental if they have low self esteem? This particular one always tried to make herself seem out of my league, yet at the same time she told me I should look for someone who wasn't damaged.

Its probable that Libra women are more justifying, 'judgemental' could be a heavy word. They justify their own intentions as well as the intentions of others, on this one ocassion I call up this pretty young lady who happened to have a Libra mom, the girl was a minor, I didn't know that, what does the mother do? She calls the police files a report, files a complaint with my employer, and then she comes to where I work confronts me. Standoffish, offputting and critical is something you would see in Virgo girls not so much with Libras gorgeous and worldly on the outside with a cool Airy rationality just underneath that surface; comparatively Virgos come off as more crude Libras are not alltogether unpleasant even when they come across as critical or condescending I could almost flirt and get turned on with that Airy feminine vibe.

Libras do not really have opinions about most of the things. Only about obvious things. The rest is all bounced off the people around us. We make soup of an issue fifty times over before some conclusion is drawn. Unfairness draws out open judgement, but usually only when it concerns ourselves or immediates. I think we're always so aware that we cannot know all the facts.

I'd like to think I'm pretty liberal on big issues e.g. homosexuality. I am also quite supportive of the people around me, e.g. if that's what you want to pursue I will support you in that. Who am I to judge or worse: know better?

I am not good at taking criticism (=your judgement) - it's my biggest weakness (arrgh) and therefore I don't really judge others - want to be left alone with the things that I do wrong.

Well, the second time we met, I was working on a joke, and being Mr. Leo that I am, I wanted to share it with everyone. She immediately exclaimed that it sucked, and sounded seriously annoyed and disgusted. Ever since then I've never been able to tell any jokes around her without sensing that she felt the same way about them.

oooooh another Leo/Libran r/ship!!! wooohoooo...frustrating those Librans aren't they— LOL

Dude, there's no relationship. I've been talking about this since I first got on here. Sad huh. It's a case of figuring out whether it never happened/turned out the way it did because of me, or because of her, and accepting the possibility that it was me without dwelling on it and feeling sorry for myself. The idea is, if it was because of me, why, and what can I do to improve myself without thinking I'm currently not worth anyones time unless I do the improvements, and if it was because of her, what does that mean about me and how I dealt with it. Ideally once I feel like I've finished discussing it to death, I will be more sure of myself, and have a better understanding of myself than ever before. Oh yeah, and also ideally, she'll be single again and I can again pursue her with my newfound knowledge and wisdom... Or I can meet someone I like even more or whatever.

yeah that all makes sense....perhaps she will start pursuing you though...who knows but I doubt you will need to beat yourself up about what you did wrong too much...it'll just drive you insane but you seem to have a good head on your shoulders so you'll find yourself in no time 🙂 Be yourself and us Leos are great at doing that LOL.

I think for her to start pursuing me, she would have to somehow see that she misjudged me. A lot of it has to do with the fact that she's a much more experience person in terms of romantic relationships, so theoretically she should have a much better idea of what she's looking for, what she likes, and how to behave. I had literally no experience at all, and still the only experience I have is from trying to win her over, a brief friendship I had with another girl, and a couple of suedo dates. I feel like she mistook mistakes I made due to my lack of experience as character flaws, or she correctly judged that I was totally inexperienced, and didn't care enough about me to give me a chance despite them. I know I sound like I'm beating myself up about it, but I'm not, I'm just really interested in figuring it out.

oh the old experience versus lack of experience saga!! I think being a Libran, she probably just has her own set standards in mind.....maybe though, she just isn't in the right place at the moment for a relationship (hence she has more experience??) as a result of being "damaged"....she may have been terribly hurt of late....there could be a multitude of factors involved...and none of them would have anything to do with what you did or didn't do.

Yeah... except she was in a couple of relationships during the time I attempted to woo her. I have a feeling from what I know about her from ex mutual friends that she has been severely hurt many times, and she once told me that she had never really been single since she was 13, so add that up. I don't think anything I did contributed to hurting her in any way, but I wasn't able to really empathize or be there for her in a way that she could understand, or that I could. I really wanted to, and that among other things was really frustrating for me.

some people just can't or don't want to be helped Im afraid. There's still time though and you never know, you and her may hook up in the future....these things sometimes happen - give it time and space and if you don't? there are many more out there that will love to spend time with you 🙂

Time and space... I haven't seen nor communicated with her in any way for over 2 months, but she does live 5 blocks away. As for many more, there are! They just aren't as challenging, and I haven't felt as strongly about any of them. Except maybe this one, so we'll see where that goes.

well being a Leo and crazy about a Libran guy? I can certainly relate to you seeing it as a challenge and feeling strongly about her.....all I can say is, if you want to be on a long winded emotional rollercoaster ride - keep chasing her LOL.....bring on the Leo charm 🙂

Now thats a good question, what exactly is Leo charm? Because sometimes I'll find I just do something, and I think back and I'm like, wow, I really charmed that person, and then other people will say I'm charming, but always when it wasn't something I expected them to say about me. And then there's times when I'm like, okay, lets charm this person, and I try and it's like ehlck! and I don't even feel like myself, just totally fake. So I think my idea of charm is not my natural charm, and I should try to get them more inline. Like, I think people tend to say Librans are the most charming sign, so probably people tend to think of charm in that sense.

Lightbulb! Okay, so maybe us Leos should use our charm to charm ourselves, thereby charming others as a result, whereas Librans charm others, causing themselves to be charmed? So we're like complete opposites almost, yet very similar at the same time.

ummmm...no charm is something that is natural and if people are telling you that you are "charming" it is something you do naturally but if you try too hard you can come across cocky, and upstart, etc and things just don't come out properly and you just look plain silly and/or just not what you wanted to be at all....just be yourself....charm is not something you can acquire overnight that's for sure.

Librans and Leos are different in many ways but apparently we are good together....when I am with my Libra this is so true but again, its on his terms and the time inbetween can be excruciatingly long and cruel LOL. Oh and he's very good at the charm - again, its a natural thing and he just doesnt have to work at it.

Again, be NATURAL, be yourself - that's what the woman really wants to see and if you become all pretentious I can almost guarantee you won't keep the woman as you can't keep the charade up indefinitely 😉

chickeny?? where did that come from?

Yeah, I hate that. I have no idea what the original word you meant to use was. Put it vertical like
t
h
i
s
and see if it works.

nah that didn't quite work but I think you get the drift of what I meant Im sure 😉

I dunno, when I see chickeny I think cowardly...

I guess it could be interpreted that way LOL...but I did not mean it that way, in fact, I do not recall typing chickeny at all - strange....and I thought Aquabrat was drinking - sheesh!!! sorry bout that *shrugs*

she means

c
o
c
k
y

ahhh banini here we are again ... you with your libra, me with my leo ... stuck in the mud.

One thing I have noticed is the leo I am interested in takes my criticism too much to heart. Sometimes things pop out of my mouth which are the opposite of what I meant. Mainly because I don't want to seem overly eager.

I came across very cold early on mainly because I was freaked out and not quite ready. I felt like he was really rushing me and I needed time to get use to the thought of him. It was a very intense connection and made me feel very vulnerable ... and I HATE feeling vulnerable.

Now, of course, I wish he were rushing me or at least somewhere to be found. lol!

I regret turning down his last attempt to get together but at the same time, it was bad timing.

I am getting off track. I had a point. I have forgotten it.

Oh ... I know what my point was. she might actually be very attracted to you but acting the opposite because she doesn't like the vunerability of that attraction.

I know when I first started with the leo I acted very cold. It wasn't because I wasn't attracted to him, it was because I was.

As for her pursuing you, I doubt she ever will. That being said, the leo is the only boy I have ever asked on a date. Ever. Since pre-school. But the chances of that happening ... pretty much zero.

Set her on her ass a little. Don't be afraid to be confident around this girl. Confidence is attractive. Act like you don't notice how weird she is being. Take Charge.

Well she has a boyfriend right now, I haven't seen nor heard of her in over 2 months, and there are other interests I might like to pursue for now, but if the situation ever arises again where it looks like a good idea, this is definitely very good information to have.

LS it's weird like what you're saying about your little Leo adventure sounds almost exactly like it could be mine from her POV, not that it is, but it's one way that it could make sense. Like I totally took things she said way too seriously, even though I knew she was joking, it really hurt a lot of the time, and I claimed it didn't hurt at all and that it was impossible to hurt my feelings with mere words. Which was not true, and it was all the ego talking. Another thing thats weird is that sure, I might feel like she's misjudged me in a lot of ways, but I think she might be more right in a sort of indirect read between the lines way than I would like to admit. Not to beat myself up or put myself down, again, but, I dunno, it's amazing to me. And a lot of things she used to say were like, how I wasn't good enough because I didn't (at the time) have a job, I wasn't a lawyer, yada yada yada, and I feel like what she was meaning to say was that ideally women want those things, and I should be improving myself in those ways to attract more women, who aren't damagaed like her etc. The weird thing is, is that I feel like she's somehow inspired me, not so much to improve myself in THOSE ways, but in ways that I actually want to improve myself. I don't want to be a lawyer, so thats not something I'm pursuing, but I have put more energy into moving towards where I do want to be. And the more I do this, the more confident and radiant I feel, which I'm sure is going to make me extremely attractive. I'm sort of drunk right now, long story.

banini it is unlike a Leo not to want to go for what they want anyway....and I don't think she is right for you anyway by putting you down like that....honestly, that's not nice to hear from anybody - go and move forward with a new prospect - enjoy yourself 🙂

I agree with chatz, if a Leo is interrested male or female they will persue, and if they don't it is likely a sign that something isn't sitting right with them. Both Libra and Leo have really big and fragile egos and even if both aren't typically vein, vanity tends to be brought out in both of them when they are around each other.

*** The weird thing is, is that I feel like she's somehow inspired me, not so much to improve myself in THOSE ways, but in ways that I actually want to improve myself.

I think this is what I did to him. He actually used the words I inspired him to do certain things. But he also inspired me. We inspired each other. Remember my whole leo as catalyst for change thread?

Interesting Banini. Especially since I feel I make him hyper-sensitive. I don't think he normally is the sensitive sort but something about how he views me makes anything I say cut.

I think nicodemus thinks I'm a libra and that girl is a leo, but it's the other way.

yeah it looks like I had it backasswords. Sorry for the confusion.

ARG! Now I've seen her because she came into my work today. It was sort of an OMG it's HER, faux scowl/evil stare, she says, Hi (banini), I say, Hi (libra), then immediately we each look away and go about our business. Now I've been thinking about her all day, and there's nothing I can do.

lol....there goes that rollercoaster ride for ya!!!

I wanna call, and I want to be able to be witty and fun and stuff, but it's just too awkward. I get all tense and tightened up inside, and I forget to be myself.

I think part of it is that like, if I expose my real personality, I risk having it hurt by her, so something won't let me do it.

well banini if you are a Leo and she is a Libran YOU will have to make the first move!! coz she won't....this I have learnt and its taken 3 months to get where I am. Come on bring out that Leo charm!!

But she doesn't want to be called. She doesn't like me right now, so calling would just feel really stupid ending up in no confidence or ego, in other words, no charm. The only thing I can think of is to send her a flower everyday to her work, but that would just seem really pathetic to her I think.

and how do you know for sure she doesnt want to be called? did she say this?? and if so, I think perhaps you need to find another prospect....she may be just too difficult....but having said that, you know that wishy washy Libran style ??

Keep in mind Libran girls practice the art of the tease. The Libra girl I'm interrested in does the same thing. I get it so it doesn't bother me but I can see how it would drive other people nuts. It is hard to tell without knowing either of you really but there is a good chance shes being so inconsistant to build you up and keep her on your mind, which is obviously working.

Chatz, I don't know if you followed any of my other threads about this, but last time I called her she wouldn't get coffee with me because "dude... ...we don't even have any mutual friends anymore."

Yeah, but nico, this girl has known I've been interested in her for over a year.

The Libra girl I have been speaking with for the last several months for the first time has liked me for about ten years, and we are just now realizing the feelings were mutual. They seem to by shy only with the guys they really like, I don't know what to tell you.

I think the only way that could be possible is if she really likes me, but doesn't know it. Does that even happen? I don't know. And if it does, how do I make her realize it?

You might just be trying too hard for a girl that isn't interrested. I wen't back and read the posts and it doesn't look like there was any relationship, or even the start of one that got halted. If she is turning you down at every step I would just drop her and start looking elsewhere. From what you have given so far it souns like she is acting like a biatch towards you. Does she come off as kind of cliqey or elitist in general? If she does she might not be so fun to be around all of the time.

You said you like the chase and the way she makes you feel. I offer "Show me the hottest girl in the room and I'll show you the guy that is sick of her crap." Don't let your ego go after a girl that is mean to you.

Yeah... There's actually a couple of other interests that I have now.

nico, she's totally cliquey and elitist. It's disgusting really.

kris, go mind your own beeswax.

Ahh, come on man, Kris actually said the same thing I did, I just polished it up a bit. If she is cliquey and elitist I think you, or anyone would have a hard time maintaining an attraction to her without growing tired or even resentful of how she treats others. Too bad she is giving our sign a bad name, you sound like a pretty motivated person, I can't help but think there is someone more deserving of your efforts out there.

Yeah well it's not about who deserves your time the most, it's who you want to give your time to. Honestly I can't say I want to just give this cliquey libra it all, but whether she's worth it in general or not, it's worth it to me to keep trying.

** then immediately we each look away and go about our business

hmmmmm ... she is uncomfortable around you? can go both ways. hard to tell. DON'T send her a flower everyday. You are trying to hard. Pull back. Don't go forward.

** They seem to by shy only with the guys they really like, I don't know what to tell you.

Yes! This is VERY true.

** Show me the hottest girl in the room and I'll show you the guy that is sick of her crap."

It goes both ways. There is a huge chance the hot girl is tired of the male sense of entitlement. Men tend to have a heightened sense of entitlement especially towards beautiful women. They tend to see a beautiful woman, "fall in love" with her, and demand she likes them in return. It doesn't work this way. Just because a woman is not attracted to you doesn't mean that she is a bitch. She just isn't attracted to you. I have apparently ruined many men's lives by only going on one date with them, having a great time, but telling them we aren't compatible ... which is the truth. The tirades you get for months after are stunning.

I actually have had screaming matches on the phone with men who I told I was not interested, after one date, no kissing, no nothing, because I treated them like dirt. No. I wasn't attracted to you. There is a difference. Most women have these stories. The last one actually emailed me twice yesterday telling me off. One date in early November. Apparently, I ruined his life. (He is a Taurus actually. This has happened twice now with Taurus men.)

Well, I still feel it's more that I have been misjudged than it is my sense of entitlement. Okay look, I know this sounds bad, but that night after she came into my work, I decided to send her a myspace message. Now, the last time I attempted this, I later checked my sent messages to see if she had read it, and it wasn't there, which could only have meant that she had blocked me. This time, it did send. So did she unblock me, or did myspace simply have an error last time? I don't know. Anyway, I've now decided that I'm not really interested in her anyway, and would simply like to be her friend. I will admit that it's a possibility I feel entitled to either her friendship, or if not, why she would not want to be my friend, but I really do feel misjudged, and to me, for whatever reason, it's worth it to attempt correct this. She has asked me to stop messaging her, and I have politely declined to do so. I feel that if she really does not wish to continue the exchange, she should end it herself rather than expect me to end it for her.

She asked you to stop after the last message you sent her? Yet you aren't? or was that some time ago?

How is it up to her to stop you from contacting her? You want her to get a restraining order? She doesn't control you. You have to control yourself.