Things I've Learned...

In the past week you all know I have been pulling my hair out over my libra. I thought he found DXP, he didn't (I don't think), I thought he was mad at me, he isn't, I thought I pushed him away by telling him how I feel, I didn't and the list goes on..

Basically this is what I have deduced in the past 17 hours..
1. If you and your libra are doing good and you really love him and he really loves you leave that crap be!
2. If you do not love your libra and he doesn't love you (clearly relayed) then do what is in your heart. You have to be true to only one person yourself and if you don't try you will never know.
3. If things are not good between you and your libra, go for the gusto.. what do you have to lose? Push the issue and be ready for whatever happens good or bad, at least you will have closure. This back and forth crap is nerve wrecking.. just get it overwith and move on.
4. I love my libra and I thought I lost him, and the last week has been the worse of my life. seriously. To lose a guy that is treating me bad ='s a lighter load. But to lose my best-friend who is great and loves me unconditionally, felt devistating and unrecoverable. NOT WORTH THE RISK if you already have something good and special and perfect.
5. I am still in love, very much so.. do I feel anxious like I have to tell him and something must happen now, NO. I can wait forever if I have to... He is well worth the wait. Does my heart hurt when he speaks of other women, YES, but that will pass as I find others to love also.

I will flirt, I will joke, I will laugh and I will be his happy place for as long as he will allow me.

I know my energy and his energy are one and always has been. No more will I push or prod him. I want him pushing and proding me, that's my goal, but that goal is now secondary to preserving, and nurturing the special bond that began 6-years ago.

I am clearer than ever on my goals in this relationship and it took all of this to make it happen... all of you, the time, the effort and the sheer panic, fear and tears.

Learn from my experience here...

The 411..

Saturday night I called him 2x he did not answer. I had not called all week but had sent several emails.. I was sure he found me on DXP and was mad.. So Christmas Eve.. I started realizing I may have really messed up this time.. at 12:49 I went into my bathroom and broke down in frustration and I rarely cry (not very emotional) but I could not fight it anymore.. I had lost the battle.. and at 12:50 my libra called..🙂 he said "what's wrong", I said I was sad bc I had to work on Xmas.. he said "you have to work on Xmas" and started getting mad..I thought it was so cute. He explained why he had not written me back (busy week) and detailed the whole week for me.. he asked again was I okay and I said "yes" then he said... "I Love You".. melted my heart.. I said, "you don't love me" he said, "what is wrong", I said nothing? now. The convo went on and he had to go, he was doing some last minute shopping with a friend, so I said okay.. he said.. I will call you tonight I promise. (HP74...there's the promise) he never said that before. So as the night drew long I knew he would not call back.. at 12:01 AM he called and said he wanted me to be the first person he wished Merry Christmas to.. I almost started crying..I thought that was so sweet. I told him I was up drinking wine by myself.. watching Runaway Bride, he said "Are you okay?" I said "yes".. I told him to turn on the movie and we both watched the ending.. which is my favorite part.. and the CD I sent him (a few weeks ago) had the Miles Davis song on it that plays at the end, when Julia Robers and Richard Gere are dancing on the balcony.. OMG! it was the perfect moment in time.. and I knew everything was aligning perfectly, if I would stop fighting it and let fate do its deed..

Good luck with everything, Brat.

The Libra in my life called twice over the weekend and texted 4 times. I have not called him back, but I have texted him back twice. It's been a busy weekend....oh and I watched Runaway Bride last night (and Raising Helen) too.

I am curious, Brat. Why would you think he found out about you venting on DXP? I would never tell anyone that I'm on this site...this is my venting and sounding board and would not want anyone to know I talk about them here. Unless you told him "I blog on DXP and my Screenname is AquarianBrat", then I seriously doubt he'd know it was you.

Brat....thats really interesting and Im not sure as to whether you are over the moon or just going with the flow....let's face it, its the day after Xmas here and I drank way too much LOL. However, it does appear you are much happier with things?

I kinda understand what you're saying - just leave em be and they'll come back. Mine seems to want to just be left be by the looks of it though - I've waited and waited and yeah sometimes he reels me back in (probably when he's bored) and this morning I see he's on his singles sites (yeah, he gives women from other countries advice about relationships but he can't put himself in one)...he hasn't bothered to call/text/email me to wish me a Merry Xmas yesterday although he did send me one on Xmas Eve...wow!!! (that was AFTER I sent him one). He spent all day yesterday with his family which is understandable but if he can go to his ex's house to watch his daughter open presents, then go home, go online, go to sleep for a while then go out again and pick his daughter up to take her to lunch, etc, he could have at least called or sent a little text to say he's thinking of me.

I think Im done - I think I've had enough and I've waited longer than I should have....I mean nothing to him except for when he's bored. I know he doesnt see others but its frustrating and now even humiliating for me to sit back and wait. Wish he wasn't so damned nice when we do get together but like you brat, I don't want to hear about other women, and when I think back over the past few weeks he's probably realised Im a little more hooked than he may have wanted me to be and is doing the cool and cruel thing to do me a "favour"...who knows and yeah I know he'll contact me and I'll probably melt and I'll go through this all over again but I refuse to contact him at all now....if he cares he'll do the work now and perhaps realise he's been way too aloof but I doubt it.

Im too scared to talk to him about "us" coz now I dont think there is an us and I'll just make a bigger fool of myself as even though Librans need soooooooo much time to think and sooooooo much time to realise they're in love or wish to be in a relationship, even this is way too long to have kept going the same way with no increase of time spent together, etc......just the same as it was just over 2 months ago and Im wasting my time.

On 23rd we had a great chat and he said "I'm going to be so busy on Xmas Day but I'll catch you some time after"....Im so tired of being the some time after or the one he'll catch up with "soon" or "later".....I want to be somebody he wants to catch up with all the time, not an after thought or shock, horror the friend with benefits...arggghhhh how did I get myself into that one Im not sure as its not what I wanted but duh, Im there so it seems!!

Im so over thinking perhaps he goes online to get other perspectives, gets advice, blah, blah, blah, oh and even think but nah, he's just hooked on sitting there night after night chatting to strangers and forgets that there is a real world out there to enjoy. i doubt he'd even miss me if I walk away now. who knows - guess I'll find out but don't worry guys, I'll still be on here - you have become my addiction LOL.

and yes Brat, you have given some insight into moving on and getting on with life which is definitely something I needed to read so thank you.

I think you should definitely preserve the friendship you have with your Libran as yes I truly also believe they are worth it and the wait if there is hope. I am glad he called and Im glad that you're more at peace with everything 🙂 You deserve it as you have been so patient and understanding, oh and so informative too.

I doubt that things with my Libra will work out and think we met for a reason, perhaps to remind me of how bad my previous relationship was with the Gemini and that it just isn't time yet and perhaps I shouldn't rush next time - im not sure but I have enjoyed spending time with mr Libra - too much so it seems (and no doubt I'll see him again and enjoy every moment).....we will see but I really needed to experience him wanting to make a bit of an effort especially at this time of the year - nobody is too busy to take 5 minutes out for a mere text or a call to somebody they care about. No doubt i will melt when he does make contact and it will all be forgotten - oh I am a fool LOL.

anyway Brat....keep smiling and again, I am so glad you are at peace with everything 🙂

Chatz,

Hang in there, girl. It's the holidays and he did say he was going to be busy over Christmas. You saw him online and I'm sure he saw you online on that site as well, so you really don't know what he's thinking about that.

He does have a daughter and therefore also has an ex to deal with. Couple that with other family obligations; just be patient. This time of year can be depressing and frustrating, but just keep on trucking!

The guy said he'd talk to you later sometime just as Brat's Libra promised he would call. My Libra does the same thing. YOu have to come to a decision eventually that you will no longer hold your breath and hope they do call. I am nearly convinced that this "I'll call you later, I promise" bit is a test to see how patient and forgiving or understanding we are to not be confrontational. Since that set up I did with the Libra (me pretending to be someone else online), he has been the one to initiate contact with me and I've made no effort to spend time with him. Since that scheme, he's been the one to contact me.

Chatz, you say you want this guy to want you to be the one he catches up with all the time. It's not going to happen overnight and it's not going to happen without you speaking up. Depending on how long you've known this guy and how comfortable you are talking to him, I firmly believe in telling someone how you feel before someone else takes your place in line.

The Libra in my life called me twice this weekend and texted me 4 times. I have yet to call him back and I really don't plan to until later this week. I sent 2 replies to his texts simply acknowledging his "Merry Christmas", "Happy HOlidays" messages.

We need a Libra Luck Club. Too much heartache, heartbreak, and heartburn over these guys!

Thanks HP - of course you are right about the family obligations but I too have family....I dunno....guess he's a guy - they can't do too many things at once LOL plus he gets a bit cranky when he gets tired.....about the online thing? nah he can't see me as I go in as a guest - guess its sneaky but I have to know for sure if there's anything going on - trust me, the Gemini I was with has brought out a very suspicious side to me I never used to have *sigh* But when I am on messenger I make myself available to him yet he must either have me blocked (which I think is the case) or he's not on messenger (msn)...doubt that though!!! I hate the games but I assume its his way of keeping distance in those in between days.....arggghhhh LOL

I've only known this Libra since his birthday (8th October - met him then) so not long and no I dont feel comfortable in telling him how I feel at this stage - I'd love to but after reading all the advice on here - NOOOOOOOO WAY lol.

I will hang in there and at least he does reply to emails/texts straight away - there is never a long wait in between. I dunno how you can possibly leave him hanging after your libran has made so many attempts this weekend - you are a very strong woman!!! It obviously is working though....guess like the time I went out with another guy and my Libran seemed to have this radar and chased with avengeance again.......I need to just go out and get back to the life I had before I met him - he might just then realise he does miss me - who knows.

Just hate the way he calls me cute names, is so affectionate when I see him, etc yet there's so much downtime inbetween.

Having read all the advice, if I told him how I feel he might just run the other way as it really hasn't been THAT long that we've known eachother, unlike many of you...you've been friends for yonks!! Am I just being a typical impatient Leo??

Thanks again HP....yes we need a Libra Luck Club LOL

Aqua... Give him a little more time to just be in this space with you. It definitely sounds like he wants more than a friendship. I am surprised he hasn't mentioned it since like my situation (was) my Libra friend and I were friends first before the bene's and he freaked me out when he said he was getting emotional about us. Couldn't take that right now... However, it sounds like your friend does want more. Maybe he is afraid of messing up the great relationship you have now. Libras like a comfort zone and he seems very comfortable with you right now... Give it time. If I were you in awhile I would just let him know where I am and ask his feelings about it. They tend to like for the other person to be brave enough to be the first to approach.


Good Luck. Who knows what the new year will bring!!!

Chatz,

Let me tell you a little something about a Libra... First, I am not quite sure of the extent this Libra is interested in you is in a romantic way (I haven't read a lot of your posts - or am confused about all the ones I have read)however, try to indulge into something else for awhile. See other people (I know it is hard and your heart might never be into as you are in love with a Libra) no real dating is necessary, like go to dinner a movie or just hang out with friends. Stay busy. He will get back to you and like most of us are doing or have in the past you will melt and once again be under his spell. Keep convo's light and cheerful everytime you talk to him and give it sometime before you bring anything up about your attraction to or for him... Try to create situations for the two of you to be around eachother - i.e. group functions. Get to know eachother as friends as much as possible.

Good luck girl...

Here is our motto song:


Tell me what you think.

HP74.."Why would you think he found out about you venting on DXP?"

I am inquisitive and so is he.. all I had to do to find this site is do a query on Google for Libra and Aqua, and this site came up.. If he did the same he would find it.. then as he would read through the Libra board, since that is his sign, he would realize I was writing about him.. situations, dates, his job, timing of things, his and my convo's.. yes, it would not take long after reading through some of the posts to realize it was me.. And it could still happen.. but let's just hope he stays busy.. funny thing is, he has made several comments.. like the ?I will call you back I promise?.. thingy. He has NEVER said that before and I never told him I had an issue with him not calling.. I know that is just a Libra thing and I don't hold my breath anymore.. did at first? but have learned over the years to let it go.. so that was strange, he also said something about being cuddly.. Chatz and I had a chat about getting cuddly with our libras.. he never said anything like that before.. strange coincidence I hope..

It's a strange coincidence....don't be so paranoid about it, ok?

The Libra in my life called about an hour ago and I decided to pick up the phone this time, but talked for about 5 minutes. He hoped everything was going well with me and asked how my Christmas was. I was en route to my office, so when I told him I was about to turn into the parking garage, he said "I'll call you later tonight babe". I said "That'll be nice if you want to".

I wanted to tell him not to call me babe, but when he says it, it sounds so sweet. ggrrrr....

thanks Queen....I'm going to do all of that 🙂

Chatz.. Okay girly!! I am sorry you and your libra did not get to spend time together this holiday weekend. His elusiveness is driving you insane, I can tell. Mine was doing the same thing, but I realized I was over thinking things. My situation has not changed a bit. Nothing is different now from last week. He does not call me every day, he is still seeing someone else, we still have not had a conversation about how we feel about one another.. but that thing that did change was ME. I changed my expectation of him and the relationship. I know what he can give and what he is not able to give and I am okay with whatever he can give me right now.. and if that is one call a month, then so be it, at least I get something and it will be the best dang call he will have had all month. I will not argue with him about why he did not all me the other 4 weeks out of the month, because MY perspective has changed. I am glad for 1, don't have to have 4.. 4 calls would be better, but one is better than none.. Some people may think that is a dumb way of looking at it, but it is what works for us. Me being upset and taking it out on him makes no sense and will only drive him further away. If you're trying to drive him away just tell him it's over. You do have some control in this.. don't think the situation is out of your hands because it is not. Choose today which will be.. joy with what you have or discontent and end it. If you decide to end it, it will hurt for a while, but you will be forced to move on and he will know you are seriously not waiting for him.. YOU have the control, then. Right now, we are giving these guys all the control, we talk, think, dream about them and what are they doing.. something other than thinking, talking and dreaming about us.. believe me. I still think, talk and dream about him, but it is different now, I am really okay with us just being?.. and call or no call, it really doesn't matter anymore.

Try the laws of attraction thing.. LS wrote about, use your energy positively... it will make a difference.

oooh brat you go girl - you told me LOL.....I like your assertiveness 🙂 🙂

Nah I don't take things out on him - I never give him the cold shoulder (thanks to you guys I know better hahaha), etc, etc and I keep things light, we have a great laugh and talk? we talk for hours - its just insanity though that I feel the way I do at present, and you are right about everything....I've been thinking long and hard about how things are yes those few and far between times we talk/see one another/chat online/texts are what keep me going but obviously he isn't in the right place for a proper r/ship but I am....Im not going to push him, nor make expectations, etc, etc and I will be there when he does make contact but I have decided to also go out and enjoy myself again as I've declined so many invitations and yeah I think of him way too much and he probably doesn't think of me at all. Time to start focussing on other things for a while and if truly is interested he will make some sort of effort and if not? well so be it.

Oh lordy I have to find that LS post....*goes hunting* LOL.

thanks Bratty one - you put me back in my place 🙂......I have to get out of this mood Im in - this is so not me!!!

Nah can't find it but ya get that

Cuddly is affectionate, emotional, related to feelings. This is very good because half the time we're pretty cold.

It reads like he's realising that he is needed, that you need him e.g. your bathroom meltdown. And that is flattering and gives energy. Energy for him to cross the 50/50 line and to come to you. Keep on needing him, in a witchy way...! (Your bathroom meltdown was obviously real but you know what I'm saying.)

Also, you being the first person for him to wish Merry Christmas to shows promise (=longing). It's direct and I think it shows that again he feels/sees/creates the room to maneouvre towards you. It's all good.

Let the path exist to come to you. And equally, I would say, don't losen the line that you now seem to have, keep it tight, be a little bit demanding evey now and then e.g. you told him to watch that movie with you and he did, insist on no talking about the chic.

The other thing I sometimes found myself do with an object of affection (not necessarily Libra), is I would say 'I have to tell you something', then they think some great confession is going to come and it kinda scares the hell out of them, and then I would serve up some irrelevant line - that would always bring great joy (to me).

I am off to sleep but write me.

I have just confided in the Libra that my ex (the one that was with me last week when he ran into us) told me he's getting married...yes, a shock! I'm a little depressed about it because this Taurus and I dated for over 2 years and I never could walk down the aisle with this man. Now he breaks the news to me that he proposed to someone.

I didn't call the Libra; I just texted him. I'm not in the mood to talk on the phone with anyone right now. Was it a good or bad thing that I confided in the Libra about this guy? He knows my history with the Taurus and knows that I would never have gone back to dating him, but I would imagine that the fact he and I dated for 2+years, he'd know I was feeling a little down about the news. He replied quick with a response, but not what I expected.

OMG you guys aren't cold— where did you get that idea from— LOL....yeah Aqua - that is sweet that he wanted you to be the first he wished a Merry Xmas to 🙂 Now that you are comfortable how you feel stay with it - somehow I think your LIbran will see the light but in time 🙂

EVERYTHING in time with these guys eh?

HP, diffidult for anyone to know in a text message what emotions were going on inside you when you texted the Libra about the Taurus's fortcoming marriage.

He knows...

Chatz - I am cold but not when in love. But I am always so engrossed in my own feelings and emotions (I get surprised by them) that I simply forget to think about yours...

"He replied quick with a response, but not what I expected."

It's difficult for him to get it right. Don't analyse. The fact that he responded is perfect (= action over word).

That wasn't worded right, sorry. He replied quick with a response, which wasn't what I expected. So that fact that he replied is good....but after I sent that, I wondered if I should have just not have told him about the Taurus. He has been a bit jealous of this guy and now that he knows he's out of the picture, I wonder if the Libra has lost interest since the Taurus is getting married.

Yeah, don't analyze...don't analyze...don't analyze...ok, not working.

Libra I get ya 🙂

HP.....dont analyze ok— lol....yeah right!!!

Of course it was ok to tell your LIbra friend about what's going on - he's a friend and they love to be friends....the fact that he replied so quickly means he cares 🙂

But that gives you a lot of information. If you now back down you can clearly see what he does. Slows down/stops or keeps on going at the same pace.

Yours needs special treatment (that too he's Oct 10)...

Yours sits on the fence until you ask him for an answer. Way too scared. But the longer this 'sensing' goes on the greater the longing and the courage. Which is very good.

Never forget he is highly reactive.

He needs special treatment because of his bday?

He does sit on the fence, huh? Maybe I should come up behind him and shock him with a cattle prod.

HP, if you want him to need to start teasing him a bit. Push pull push pull. Drives him insane....

He deserves a bit of witchcraft. I have not forgotten about the fact that yours showed up at the theathre/concert but does not have time for you. The bugger...

But don't complain about it. Just do push and pull...

LOL that's quite funny....I wonder what sort of treatment my 8/10 needs??

Special treatment = because he is a difficult cookie.

love the cattle prod - just love it!!! u are saddistic - I love it

I guess I'm not good with the teasing and the witchcraft. I am "here's what I want" and "this is what I think" kinda gal.

Give me examples of what would drive him insane...

Whatever you girls do, it has to be subtle/gentle - all that stuff.

I live in Texas. I have access to all sorts of animal devices.

examples please

I like the direct confession very much, but only when I have realised that I want things out in the open e.g. how I feel. That I want you.

Talking about a partner, ignoring my needs, me making you a compliment and you not being grateful (the latter really annoys me).

Picture of a woman and I don't know who she is. Keeping me waiting litterally...

whips would be good LOL

hobble him even!!! Oh I am watching with a keen eye on the witchcraft examples...this could be fun 🙂 Oh, Im in a better mood now - guess going back to work does that to ya LOL

You leaving early when I was just starting to have fun. God that bugs me...

so you wanna be bugged— you want us to be mean— I can do that - just give me the whip or cattle prod then LOL

Perhaps that's it. The realisation that I am annoyed is the realisation of longing...

examples please.....

They're on page 3

I see - hmmm ok....interesting....HP you got that? in the memory bank?? as my Libran friend always says to me LOL

Ok well it'll be interesting to see how mean HP can get then LOL

These?

I like the direct confession very much, but only when I have realised that I want things out in the open e.g. how I feel. That I want you.

Talking about a partner, ignoring my needs, me making you a compliment and you not being grateful (the latter really annoys me).

Picture of a woman and I don't know who she is. Keeping me waiting litterally...

I've always been open with this guy, remember? He actually was the one ignoring MY needs and I made MANY compliments to this man. I was always grateful for what he did for me and my boss, personally and professionally.

I don't understand the "picture of a woman and I don't know who she is" bit.

I can get mean...Just don't like to use that as it can be detrimental. Mess with the Bull, get the horns is a true slogan for me. I prefer tried and true sweet methods.