Still Waiting on Libra

Hi everyone,

Just an update. I had posted under the "Where to Go Next with Libra" and "Taking Some Time vs Brush Off" threads about the somewhat of a row I had with my libra guy (or actually libra/scorp cusp from what I now know) whom I had met up with again after several years. We were last together Nov. 29 (almost three weeks ago) and it seemed that when we left each other, he was nervous/scared/worried about continuing our realtionship. We did talk the next day briefly. Then (to update everyone again), I called the following day (twice--yes, I know, too pushy) and was somewhat forward with my messages. When there was no reply I called again four days later with a apology and a "I don't know where we're going from here..." message. So after talking with all of you, I held off and haven't called him again, since obviously he needs space. (I did, though, walk by him at one point. I don't know if he saw me or not, but I pretended to not see him, since I didn't want to seem stalkerish).

So now it has been three weeks since I've last talked with him. Is this still typical of Libras? Or is this relationship fading? I had a long-term thing with him in the past. I have always kept journals (going on 20 years now), so I looked back at what I wrote about him from before, and there were times when he pulled back, sometimes two or three weeks at a time, but oftentimes only a few days. So what do you think? Is it over? When I spoke with him last I told him I still do want to see him, and he said "I know."

And, ps, HP and Aqua, don't feel bad about hijacking my thread, I got some good advice and it was interesting to hear what you all are going through as well. And HP, I think this guy is playing you (but then again, it is always easier for someone else to say that than it is for you since your emotions are all tied up in knots.

--Maygirl

yes you are right, it is always easier for the outsider looking in...ummmm...it is typical Libra to pull back and if "he knows" that you still want to see him he's going through that thinking process.....maybe he's not in the right place as that is a long time but having so much history? he'll be back - be patience...yeah there's that word again....kinda grates doesnt it?

Boy, being patient can certainly be trying! Luckily, with the holidays, I've had lots to keep me busy, so my mind hasn't been so totally on him and wondering what he's thinking. And after a few weeks ago, the emotions don't seem to be running so crazy as much, so I think I can sit back and let him make the next move. Knowing him, our history, where he's at now in his life, etc., I think he will get back in touch with me, but it will only be after he squares it with himself. And I want him to want to continue this relationship, so if he does call and want to see me, I think I would tell him "yes, I would very much like to see you. I missed you, but I want to make sure this is what you want."

Does that sound like something a Libra would respond to? Or would that make him go back into thinking mode all over again?

"yes, I would very much like to see you. I missed you, but I want to make sure this is what you want."

Overkill, really. Just leave it at "I would like to see you, too".

He's already thought about it at that point, don't make him go back into analyzation mode.

And I am 75% certain the Libra in my life is up to something, but for now, I'm enjoying things as they come. I went to a concert tonight at a venue downtown that seats only about 500 people. My ex invited me (fellow Taurus) and pretty good seats near the stage. We were having a blast. The bands breaked for intermission so we got up and got more alcohol, etc. We were outside the theatre walking around when I see the Libra! The LIBRA...He was there with 2 other guys whom he introduced me to. I introduced my ex as my friend, which he is...but I wasn't sure if he felt jealous or threatened because of the way he was staring at my ex - like he was some enemy or something...lol

We went back to our seats for the next set, and the Libra and his buddies were one level up from us so he could easily "watch" my ex and I. My ex and I have a flirtacious (can't spell, been drinking, sorry) history so we can get quite chummy but it's all really innocent. My ex looked back behind us a couple of times and said once "I don't know what kind of impact he made on you, but you apparently made an impact on him because he keeps glancing over at us".

I didn't do anything wrong. BUt you know, I was driving home and I thought to myself - "this guy has so many commitments to his family that he can't give me 3-4 hours a week, but he can make time to go to this concert, which lasted 3 hours...hmmm"

I left my cell phone at home tonight. I just got home about 30 minutes ago and I've had 2 text messages from the Libra asking how I am doing and commenting on the singers at the concert. I haven't responded - I don't think I'm sober enough to respond at the moment and that's pbly a good thing.

i guess at somepoint of time in ur past, somehow ur libra got an impression that you are not much interested in him so he skipped. think back... and reply. he is waiting to know if u r still interested.

wow HP looks like you have the option to pick up again!!! go girl if you want to go through it all 🙂

Maygirl....he'll make the move but once he does and you're all smitten again he'll do the same thing (from reading all the posts here that's what happens and in my own experience, definitely what happens)....get ready for a long roller coaster ride :s

Libran,

When we last talked, I said I still want to see you and he said he knows. There were some other comments that made me think he wants to rethink this thing with me, that maybe it is not the best time right now, or that he's worried about hurting me. So I'm really afraid of contacting him again because I don't want to come across as pushy or needy. On the other hand, I don't want him to forget about me or think I no longer am interested! Aaagghh!

I was already to call today and just say "I wanted to let you know that I'll be out of town next week, so I don't know where you are with your work and just wanted to let you know in case you were ready to start on my project. Have a nice Christmas" but now I'm thinking of waiting a little longer (til after the holidays). Because I really want him to make that decision to call me. I want him say yes to himself that he does want to see me, not that I'm pushing him into it.

And HP, it sounds like this guy definitely does want you on some level, but is it the level you want (or the level you can deal with?)

I'm thinking no, it's not the same level or a level I can deal with. Most people know that I am very patient and understanding, but I rarely give 2nd chances once I've been hurt.

HP, there you go. He has lost control, oh you will be hearing a lot more from him. Watch. Just keep doing what you are doing. Good job.

Here's the deal: I run yahoo at work during the day because of co-workers, but he's on my buddy list. Guess who decided to log in VISIBLE and send me messages?

One guess...

Libras don't let go of people they like very easily.

even if they clearly do things like lie and lead on?

so contradictory....my head hurts

So if they don't let go of people easily, in their minds when they come back and forth to you like that are they thinking the relationship is still on the same level? That nothings changed, even though it might be months between seeing them?

"in their minds when they come back and forth to you like that are they thinking the relationship is still on the same level?"

Maygirl, I suppose I can affirm that question. If you remember, after I went emotioonal on the Libra and set him up in the alter-yahoo identity, i just knew he'd never contact me again and I was prepared for that. But the very next day, he text messaged me telling me good morning and hoped that i have a nice day, etc. He called me the following day, and the next day. PLUS, he just got online to Yahoo and initiated a chat with me. So YES, I truly believe that these guys can act (or actually be) like nothing changed or everything is just as it was the night before.

Not to mention I saw him at the concert last night and he approached me when he could have easily walked away since I didn't see him until he was in plain sight and in my path.

That is frustrating. Do they not realize the ups and downs they're causing with our emotions?

So HP what are you going to do about your Libra?

Maygirl, I can only speak from experience with this Libra, but generally, no they don't realize the ups and downs they're causing unless you tell them. THEN you freak them out because they're not the emotional type and expressing those emotions sends them into hiding for a while. I read somewhere that Libra generally run from their challenges rather than facing them - almost like hoping they'll go away if the hide out for a while.

Did you end as friends HP?

still friends, that's it.

or at least i'm telling myself that.

Then he is being friendly and trying to show you "no hard feelings" eh?

(The "eh?" is the Canadian in me.)

Girls, I think that HP's Libra is a little unbalanced because he sees he has lost control. Seeing her with someone else makes him feel he has no power or not as much leway as before. Therefore, to get back on balance and try his luck he will come back and see if he can get his place back (of course this is all in his head) so, HP if you let him think that again he will probably take a lackadaisical attitude. If you keep up what you are doing then he will never be sure and keep trying to analyze it (contacting you) until he is tired of the sharade and steps up to the plate. Something similar happened with me and my ex and he has been crazy about me since. I think it is good for him to see you laughing and happily in the company of another male from time to time, even if it doesn't really mean anything.

I can see that, QS, definitely. Especially since most of the control has been in his court and I've sat idlely by waiting for his move. For the last nearly 2 months, I've waited for his actions before I confirmed any plans with other people, so it made me appear to be available at his whim. Now that he sees that I have a life (had a life before meeting him), he realizes that I was understanding of his situation, but that I know when to move on.

I miss him, I will admit that, but I want him to chase me. And the only way he's going to chase me (if he wants to) is for me to distance myself from him and make him miss me and realize what charm, grace, empathy, and level of friendship I brought into his life.

Earlier today, I initiated the "logging out" of yahoo. Before it was him. I left him with the message that I had to go pick up my dress for the theatre tonight and I logged off before he could reply. He sent me a text message a matter of minutes after that saying "You social butterfly, you. 🙂"

So I do sense he is trying hard to see how he feels about me and what exactly he wants to do with me - keep me or boot me. Of course, I should be deciding the same thing.

I think you hit it right on the nose HP. They need to know you have a life and if you decide to see him again on any level. Let it be on your availability. When my friend and I were "friends w/bene's" I kind of let him make the decision when we hook up around his schedule. True, he was a little busier than I but I left it up to him.

Now as he is hinting starting back up the shagging. LS I am hanging in there. I always change that subject as I am weak for him in that area, but seem to be unable to go any further than that.

He asked me to go to a comedy show with him and some friends, didn't respond to my holiday party though. I told him I would have to see, I have a lot going on this holiday season. I dunno if I will go though.

That peom has turned me into a little coward as far as facing him... So unlike a scorp...

HP you go girl~! Good on ya.....I cannot believe how much work these guys are!!! All the things you write is so like my LIbran. To be honest Im getting tired of waiting and although we get on really well and he gives me 150% of him when we are together, its the times between I get frustrated and really deserve better so I've decided to make myself very difficult for him to catch me - he knows where I live, my number, my email so he can make all the moves for a while.......I've declined so many invitations from other people in the hope we'll catch up but pfffft to that I say.....Im too sociable for these games. Love him to bits (not that I can tell him that LOL) but time to go out and have fun with my friends, etc......if he wants to bring this r/ship on a higher level he'll now have to do the work........reading all the posts you guys have made I'd only be in for a very long and painful haul if I continue to do the work and wait around. I know he's keen but now the ball is in his court to make us a REAL couple, not just a once a week or fortnight thing.

Oh and Im a little grumpy coz Im back at work today but tomorrow will be better - Friday!!!!

But yes still very hooked on the LIbran...just gotta go back to LIVING lol

I think it is important to know that a hooked libra that has confessed his/her love is full on: faithful, there, available non-stop, communicative, highly loyal, thinking for two, trusting. All that stuff. And this is full on from day ONE after the confession. Immediately you are worshipped and the most important thing.

So when you are not experiencing this behaviour, then s/he's not ready just yet.

Now what was my point?

If you are a passionate sign.... Libras will be too breeze for you.

Ultimately passion needs passion..... beauty may not be enough.

gallagher out.

I find that unfair. We mirror what you bring to the table, so passion will meet passion. Or at least serious attempts are made...

When a Libra is with you they do tend to mirror you. When me and the Libra were together, it would have taken a razor to slice the magnetism.