Libra Man - Am I overreacting or Not?

This Libra guy & I have know each other for a couple of years but we have started to get to know each other better in the last year. We are not dating but we maintain weekly contact through text & he'll call me at least once or twice a week depending on his schedule. Most of the time I initiate through text but instead of texting back he will call. We live in different states & we both have busy careers in which we travel. He always responds to my text & often times he will call for advice with different matters. I know he's a private person but he has been opening up to me more & more. Whenever he is in my town, he will invite me to his events & he spends majority of his time in town with me. A few months ago I became busy with work & I did not communicate w/ him for about 2 wks. He called me with a little attitude to let me know he had not heard from me in those 2 wks but once I reassured him that although we had not spoken I thought of him everyday, his tone changed completely & everything was back to normal. Typically Libra, right? But you gotta love 'em. Here's where I am confused: The last time he was in my town, he called me as soon as he arrived, invited me to his event and we hung out before the event & after. He was excited to see me, gave me hugs & compliments. He was very touchy feely. Please note: that we have been intimate in the past but bc we work in the same industry, whenever we attend his events we keep it business bc we do not want his colleagues to know our business so we keep things private. Anyway, after the event, he & I were hanging out & he was hugging me, flirting with me & telling me how happy he was to see me. We were enjoying each others company, then my best friend showed up & he started acting strange. She knows about our situation & he knows that she knows. He went from being affectionate to acting as if I wasn't important. It was as if he was trying to impress her. He completely changed. It made her so uncomfortable she decided to leave & she has expressed to me that she did not like how he treated me. I think he's a cool guy & I truly see him as a good friend but I'm not sure what to think at this point. Is he interested in my best friend? Or am I reading too much into this? Keep it real with me, Libras!

I was scanning your chunk of passage for your sign, but none given.. what's your sign?

Ughhh I hate it when that happens. I've been in a situation like that plenty of times, where I'll be into a person then they bring their friend around and their friend is cuter than them, and if im not in love or at least strong like with the other person, then the friend well??_.i don't mean to sound like a bad person but if I haven't had sex with you, and I think the friend is cute I just might flirt. LOL. That is bad I know, but you said keep it real.

However before I start flirting the friend would have to send off some type of signal to let me know its cool. If not then, I'll just have to make them jealous that they didn't find me before the other person by showing the other person the time of their life! HAHA!


And yes, your sign? Do tell please.

Thank you everyone for keeping it real! I'm a Virgo and I've heard that Libra and Virgo do not work out well. However I think Libras are amazing. Although I am a Virgo I am mature, sociable, laid back and patient. No drama from this lady that's too draining. I treat others with kindness regardless. My best friend is attractive but so am I (not to sound conceited). Guys usually are interested in one of us or both. That's just how it is. I just wanted to know if I was wrong and how to handle this situation. Any advice?
Honestly right now I am all smiles because QLibraMale, spica and ALibra responded. I have been reading other posts and you guys rock! Keep it coming. _??

First I want to encourage you not to worry about the sign stuff too much when it brings out the negatives in a relationship. Spica and I are having a slight disagreement on my connection with an Aries man for that very reason. If you truly want this Virgo then fight tooth and nail, and pray and it will be if its meant. As far as what to do, you can ask him about the way he switched up on you, but honestly he's most likely gonna act like he doesn't know what your talking about. You should've said something right there in front of your friend. Get him dead on the spot to give him less time to think of a good lie. I would've made it a serious/joke and said " Dang girl, my boo was all over me, then you come and he act like he don't even no me??_" then turn to him with a dazzling smile and "say whats up wit dat boo, you ashamed of me or something. Don't make me knock you out." And start laughing. It would've lightened the mood and he and your friend might've joined in. That's what I would've done.

And for the record, I had wonderful courtship with a Virgo. Don't know if genders matter. Since in my case the Virgo was a male. The only thing that threw us off was the sex was horrible. No matter how many times I tried to help him get it right it just didn't work, very disappointing. I probably sound very shallow but whatever. I don't have to have an orgasm everytime, but the stroke better be on point atleast so I can enjoy the ride until he does. Shoot. LOL. Happy to say I don't have that problem with my Aries. WHEW!! LOL

Thank you ALibra! Girl, you are the sh*t, lol. You tell it like it is and I love it! I agree with you 100% regarding signs and negativity in relationships. I am confident that he and I will always be good friends no matter what because I value our relationship. Life is too short to have it any other way. I won't questioned him about it but I will use your great advice if he does it again.— I'll keep it grown, sexy, confident and keep it moving like it didn't even happen. We have spoken since then so there's no need to address old news. As far as your relationship with the Virgo & the horrible sex, that's so disappointing to hear. Great sex is important in a relationship, I don't care what nobody says. It doesn't matter what's his sign, if he can't stroke it right then he gotta go, lol. I don't know if the Libra woman is into pleasing her mate like the Libra man but if so Libras can give it up, give it down, forwards, backwards, in and out, all around. (Damn, I just had a flashback, lol.) My Libra friend and I get it in when we see each other. Good for you and your Aries! How long have you two been together?

Your so very welcome and I wish you and your Libra the very best. And you hit it right on the nail. As long as you maintain your independence, stay sexy and know your worth and please whatever you do stay fun, and if he's really into shower him with a little romance sometimes, nothing too mushy that might make him think your getting ahead of yourself but just enought to make him feel special, and by all means yes stay being a friend. Never stop being his friend even you two end up together, a Libra is more comfortable being themselves (their TRUE SELF) when they are amongst friends. I know i do, i dont trust everybody else.

As far as me and my Aries that the partically sad part, we are not together officiallly. He's not ready and he made that clear from the beginning. We've known each other since childhood and care a great deal about one another. He says he's very unhappy with himself and his situation right now, and if he's not happy with himself then he wont be able to truly make me happy the way i deserve. But assures me that im the one he wants when its all said and done and begs me to be patient. I love him so here i am. lol

And as far as the sex with Libra, both the male and female have the same agenda " Aim to please" i mean we are infact the people pleasers of the zodiac, get us into bed and it goes triple for you. LOL.

@ everevolvingepithet Nope he's not ready for me yet 😢 I've been told that Aries don't like to be chased and that I should back off, not completely but not be so available. He says his feelings haven't changed as he still feels as strongly for me as he did when we were kids. Says they haven't changed even a little bit, and that if they did it only means he likes me even more. I dunno. He says he just wants to make sure he can make me happy and bring something to the table when we finally become official. I guess I have no choice but to enjoy what we have, do my thing keeping my options open and hope for the best. ~shrugs

Posted by ALibra
@ everevolvingepithet Nope he's not ready for me yet 😢 I've been told that Aries don't like to be chased and that I should back off, not completely but not be so available. He says his feelings haven't changed as he still feels as strongly for me as he did when we were kids. Says they haven't changed even a little bit, and that if they did it only means he likes me even more. I dunno. He says he just wants to make sure he can make me happy and bring something to the table when we finally become official. I guess I have no choice but to enjoy what we have, do my thing keeping my options open and hope for the best. ~shrugs

you know aries men like to be able to spoil and lavish there women with gifts. they like to be able to treat you like the lady they see you as. if they cant do that they will stay single. i think thats good that he knows he cant treat you the way he thinks you deserve so he is not going to claim you just yet.

love is in the air for sure ALibra. 🙂

Several things could be going on, he's been intimate with your friend, he's very attracted to your friend and/or he's uncomfortable with PDA in front of your friends and doesn't want to send out the message he's committed to you (one or all of the above or none of the above), he appeared to look like he wanted to leave his options open, I could be wrong of course but one things for sure is that you can't be sure what was going on with him but what you can be sure of is he changed his behavior in front of her, made her feel uncomfortable, your friend didn't like the way he treated you and you can be sure that you probably should never bring him around your attractive friends or risk the same kind of behavior and less emotional investment until you know for sure it's a real relationship or risk being deeply disappointed by this guy.

@ALibra What I appreciate is Mr. Aries honesty with you. If someone is unhappy with their own circumstances they cannot give the best of themselves to anyone else. He sounds like a good guy and a great friend. I hope that things get better for him and that the two of you become official. You seem to genuinely care about him. He may be unhappy with himself but I'm sure it would be worse if you were not in his life. I hope he can reflect on you being in his life and use that as a positive way to gain happiness. It's hard to find someone who will remain in your life until you decide you are ready. He's a lucky guy and I commend you for being patient. Best of luck to you all and I will say some prayers for you guys! Keep me posted.

Hi @everevolvingepithet and @chemengin !

@tiki33 Thank you for your response. You made good points. Although I'm not certain as to why he changed, the one thing I know is he has not been intimate with my friend. There are so many attractive women in this world, I am secure with who I am and I am sure there will come a time that we will all be together again or some other attractive female will be around. So whether it's my best friend or another woman, since then I've come to realize that I will have to either address it if it happens again in a jokingly way as ALibra suggested or accept that he's just not that into me. It would be disappointing but I've had to endure worst in another relationship so I will be fine. I care about him, so regardless of the outcome, I'll be in his life as a friend if he wants me to be. Maturity, independence and the ability to overcome any obstacle is my motivation. The responses that I have received on here have been a great way of helping me see this situation from other's points of view. I like to remain calm but sometimes I can over analyze situations so this post has helped me to better understand & come to a conclusion. Thanks!

He reacted as some men react when they experience attraction for another woman in front of the woman he's having sex with, it's not uncommon, it's more about accepting IMO, not making excuses to keep things going, men that are INTO YOU don't behave this way, there is no way a man that's into you will dismiss you in front of your friends, now whether you want to look at it that way is completely up to you.

A man that is into a woman just don't behave this way around the woman he's into no matter whose around, I can understand you both keeping it professional around colleagues but friends, there shouldn't be a reason why he gets all brand new on you unless he really doesn't want to give your friends the idea that your both serious, keeping his options open, especially if you have hot friends, the quickest way to KNOW if your in a real relationship and not dealing with a player is how he treats you around family/friends/mutual friends.

For the most part he didn't really do anything wrong, you both are friends, friends with benefits so his reaction was not all that bad, he most likely felt strong attraction for your friend and didn't want your friend to get the wrong idea, to feel you both were a couple, I dated a a nice but immature (lacking life experience) libra many moons ago and the only time he got all funny acting on me around other women is when he was up to no good.

*waves* hi 😄
honestly i wouldnt worry about this to much. like the other libra men said, they flirt. but what was making your friend uncomfortable that made her leave. was he being touchy feely with her? or was he just complimenting her? Let me reread your post....okay yea you didnt say what he was doing.

and like ALibra said, you can check him on it. when she left you could have said, "dude what's up with that you made her uncomfortable?"

when my libra and i started dating he meet my gem friend for the second time...for dinner. (first time was just introductions and hi and bye)he started standing up straight and looking all controlled. when she started talking a joking with us he relaxed a little bit. then he complimented her, which was fine, but then it went down the toilet.

libra: thats a nice shirt gem i didnt know you were that busty..
gem: yea dude i got it going on under here
libra: well the shirt is nice.
gem: ok
libra: so chem to hang in your group the girls have to be busty
me: um no
* a minute goes by and me and gem look at each other and bust out laughing, then he smiled and laughed*

he admitted he was nervous.

@tiki33 I'm not trying to justify his behavior but what is true is that we aren't in a real relationship. So ultimately he is entitled to behave as he chooses & I have to either deal with it or not. When i recall that night, he did not flirt with her, he just stop being affectionate towards me. I'll admit it was kind of weird and you make a great point of saying that men that are into you do not behave this way but there are some men that differ. Everything has been good between us prior to this but I do not want to allow this one incident to determine the direction of our relationship. However, I do love myself to know when enough is enough. At this point I'm ok with letting it go.

@chemengin Hey girl! I took sometime to really think about it and in all fairness, he did not flirt with her. He gave her a compliment about her outfit and shoes. What changed was he just stop being affectionate with me. My friend was uncomfortable and left because when she walked up she saw how he was sitting close to me really enjoying my company and then she noticed how he became somewhat distant with me. She felt as if her being there caused a problem & like most of us females we just want to see our girlfriends treated right & know that the feelings are mutual between that guy and our bestie. She is around me a lot & she has witnessed what she considered to be a guy that was interested in me because he stays in contact with me, invites me to his events and makes time to spend with me despite his busy schedule. I still think he's a great friend.

I'm so not being mean okay but you've been with this guy for what several years (knowing him for several years) and he hasn't sealed the deal with you well I'm going to take a guess that he's not that into you, MEN SEAL THE DEAL with women they don't want to lose or are afraid of losing, I know he didn't flirt with her and I wasn't implying that he was flirting with her but his BEHAVIOR says a story, tells the truth about his feelings for you, now we women (a lot of women) tend to dismiss the behavior and call it something else, it's our way of coping with the obvious, it's our way of down playing what we see and how it made us feel inside. I agree put that in check, don't allow it to slide but IMO if you have to check a man then he's probably not yours to begin with.

As long as you don't close down other options while you date him you'll be fine, this man isn't serious about you, that could change but if I were in your position and yes I've been in similar situations, I wouldn't take him seriously, I wouldn't give him my heart until he's earned it and I wouldn't count on him moving the connection forward as in longterm commitment, if he's hiding you from colleagues and friends that's a sure sign that he's not as into you as you think he is.

I know men differ, my ex-libra made it known I WAS IT FOR HIM in a matter of days, there was no funny behavior and I was paraded around to his friends, colleagues, family.

I'm just saying take HEED and try not to get too caught up and you'll be okay, have fun, observe and keep your feet planted firmly on the ground.....

being nervous has nothing to do with a lack of affection, she's a friend not your parent/s...His behavior was probably more reflex than anything but I won't back pedal on what his behavior says about how he feels about being seen with you when people are around that know you or you both know.

If it was nothing it'll never happen again but if you see a pattern of this same behavior....

Posted by LoyalT


@chemengin Hey girl! I took sometime to really think about it and in all fairness, he did not flirt with her. He gave her a compliment about her outfit and shoes. What changed was he just stop being affectionate with me. My friend was uncomfortable and left because when she walked up she saw how he was sitting close to me really enjoying my company and then she noticed how he became somewhat distant with me. She felt as if her being there caused a problem & like most of us females we just want to see our girlfriends treated right & know that the feelings are mutual between that guy and our bestie. She is around me a lot & she has witnessed what she considered to be a guy that was interested in me because he stays in contact with me, invites me to his events and makes time to spend with me despite his busy schedule. I still think he's a great friend.

oh okay, yes true gfs want that for each other. and i thought it was just a compliment or something...so no boob talk uh..LMAO just kidding.
the best thing to do is not assume, just ask him what that was all about. dont let it go because it bothered you enough to post here. go ahead an ask him. your friends + more, you can do that. 🙂 good luck hun

@tiki33 everyone is entitled to their opinion therefore I don't take your response as you being mean. I appreciate your response and I will consider what you are saying. Thank you! _??_

@chemengin lol no there was no boob talk, lol. You are funny. Thank you for your advice! _??_

Aww. Thanks everyone so much for your comments on my Aries and I situation. I really love him and I appreciate the support. Crossing my fingers for all of you and your situations too. ~Hugs~