ohh, how lovely...I got a call to break up

because he's not in a place he is able to give me anything, as he needs to get his bearings and organize his life right now...but he hopes that in few months he will want to call me and see if I still want to do anything or I can just tell him to f-off...he doesn't want me to be with someone where I give and he gives nothing back because he is not able to right now
(granted, he does have a lot on his plate and I know he's not bullshitting)

gaaah!

really?? dude? REALLY—

no, he's not, he's 2000 miles away. he just got back from deployment after being gone for a year and is trying to get his act together, his place - his ex wife took off with everything the first month he was deployed, he really actually does have a lot.

soooo....there is nothing i can do. sucks.

to be honest, I think the guy needs more friends now who will stick with him, not an emotional roller coaster.
I get it. I probably would do the same 😢

I don't do the evil twin...I rather do the lovely and than the detached as in I don't give a fuck...why waste energy on hatorade - kwim?

No, he's going through shit...however, if he was really into me, this would not be an issue...sooooo...I'm moving on. As much as it sucks ass right now.

I don't really care what he does. I do, but it's not my concern anymore. I am not going to chase "friendship" with someone who didn't think me worth the relationship regardless of circumstances.

well, I'm trying to be reasonable and composed about this but it's not really working out so well. damn. this stupid venus in cancer is not letting me to just move on and dump this crap 😢

what does his moon have to do with this??

I went out last night, had jolly ol' time, drunk texted Sagg (hes' my safe drunk call/text, lol, always bails me out of silly situations), who knows me for 20 years and has been cornering me for a few, he blurts out he's been in love with me for some time and I'm like: wtf? ugh, nice timing! (not)...and as much as I love the guy as one of my best friends I'm so mad and disappointed in men right now...but I'm ok. I guess...considering...and still want things fixed between Libra and I

...so, how do I fix this? aside for moving on and out of his life?

ugh...aren't you engaged to him —

and no, it does not make anyone feel better if someone else hurts...wtf is that—

what does this have to do with my post—?? and me trying to find a way to move on or fix this?

ugh.....lovely morning we have this Easter weekend...

Posted by roamingfree
ugh.....lovely morning we have this Easter weekend...

Chin up woman. Into each Libra's life a lil' fence must fall. The one they straddle with aplomb. Both vistas stretching on for miles on either side.

And remember, you'll were fine before, will definitely be fine after. No hole opens up to swallow you, no catacylsmic rains fall from the heavens..in short; life goes on. And if this Libra retracts, blast it to kingdom come. Say "Looky here man, I require this..and THAT, with a heavy sprinkle of DIS.." What you need to feel on solid ground. Indecision and buffoonery are alright from time to time, but long term that just sucks the rust of an old trailer hinge.
Ah yes, and bake bread. Can I just tell you how gratifying it is to beat the CRAP out of some bread dough to work out frustration. And toss on something that really makes you wanna move while you're at it. 🙂

Mah goodness, the typos..*fidgets* Ah well.

awww thank you LibraLuv and venusianbull 🙂 I understand that he wants his duckies in the row...I know that he needs that. I'm ok with this. I want a man who has that need and not someone who is unprepared to make things happen. We went over all the emotional stuff he feels for me, and I for him. He told me that I make him feel incredible and that he means all the things he said to me many times. He wants all these things that I do...but not yet 😢...I will go on with my days in a normal manner. I can't stand dwelling on negative feelings. Things are empty now, I am waiting till this goes numb a bit. I'm hoping he will get his act together and make a move. I think he will. I'm hoping. We left that for now, it's too soon for me to just be in denial of my hurt over this. But the door wasn't shut on us. I wonder if I should write to him in a couple weeks? and just tell him where he stands with me? idk. What are the odds of him coming back?
I can honestly say that I have never felt so in sync and effortless with anyone...funny how he feels the same.
So now what should I think? Should I even attempt to say something to him in a couple weeks? is that just going to push him away? I don't mean like stalk him...just letting him know that things are ok and I hope things are ok and moving in a constructive way on his end? - or am I just being delusional now?

😢


(I'm too hungover to bake...lol...but that is a good idea

Posted by Strider

Posted by roamingfree
because he's not in a place he is able to give me anything, as he needs to get his bearings and organize his life right now...but he hopes that in few months he will want to call me and see if I still want to do anything or I can just tell him to f-off...he doesn't want me to be with someone where I give and he gives nothing back because he is not able to right now
(granted, he does have a lot on his plate and I know he's not bullshitting)

gaaah!

really?? dude? REALLY—

I don't see what is so horrible about what he did ? People hate instability and a lack of control in their lives and that will obviously have effects on personal relationships . He clearly respects you enough to give it to you straight and leave the decision to you . Everybody needs to be organized to think clearly and have proper peace of mind .

click to expand

i know 🙂...I agree. that's why as much as I want this about me I do understand him and I get it...I just want things to be going between him and I and it's not happening right now 😢

very true.
thank you. I think I needed to hear that.

I want him to get his ducks in the row.

I meant, I needed to hear this:
"Good things are worth the wait ! However if they take too long then they were never good in the first place............."

Right, no need tossing on a cobblers apron, plonking down in a rocking chair and amassing cats waiting on a decision. Life moves, as do we. I wish the best for you though and hope things work out. 🙂 And when the cotton balls and thumping headache go away, bake. Therapy for me.

i'll have some chocolate, anything high fat and high carb today...I will flush my system and than work out in the evening like a mad woman - I'm hoping this will give me a temporary high for a time

Posted by roamingfree
because he's not in a place he is able to give me anything, as he needs to get his bearings and organize his life right now...but he hopes that in few months he will want to call me and see if I still want to do anything or I can just tell him to f-off...he doesn't want me to be with someone where I give and he gives nothing back because he is not able to right now
(granted, he does have a lot on his plate and I know he's not bullshitting)

gaaah!

really?? dude? REALLY—

No offense, but your posts really put me off relationships altogether. Like, what's the point? Waste of time, right?

Posted by LibraLuv

Posted by roamingfree
because he's not in a place he is able to give me anything, as he needs to get his bearings and organize his life right now...but he hopes that in few months he will want to call me and see if I still want to do anything or I can just tell him to f-off...he doesn't want me to be with someone where I give and he gives nothing back because he is not able to right now
(granted, he does have a lot on his plate and I know he's not bullshitting)

gaaah!

really?? dude? REALLY—

Roamingfree I'm really sorry to hear this and I know it's hard, but I'm really not shocked that he made that decision. Most men in that age range would feel that way, call it maybe being a little old fashioned or traditional. A man in his 40's not being able to provide any stability for himself, not to mention having to consider another, would feel that way. Otherwise it could possibly make him feel less of a man for not being able to. I can see where he is coming from. But, as for you, your relationship was fairly new, right? So, continue going out and doing things that satisfies you. Continue to date and have fun with your friends. Who know's what the future holds. If he calls you around that time that he feels like he's ready, then you'll have an answer for him, whether it be you answering his call or not. The good thing is, the ball is in your court. 😉

click to expand

My Libra buddy is going through a similar situation with his Gem girl. I know him, he'll be back when his shit's in order. Some of us are still old fashioned, and don't involved the people we care about when we are in hunter/gatherer mode. We always come back home though. When a REAL man isn't in a secure place, he tends to step back and regroup. :/

Roaming Free,


I was dumped by a libra too. It was awful and piercing.


About 4 months later he came back and told me loved me and wanted to be with me.


Of course I said No. Anyone who thinks they can do that and be in my good graces are out of their minds. (Mars in Scorp, Leo moon...can't help it 😛)


But we have remained good friends none the less. I do cherish him as that alot.


So don't give up hope!

Posted by LibraLuv
Morning, VB. I left your party early last night. I was tired and sleepy. But I did want to put some music out there on that thread in honor of your birthday and the fun that had been going on in that thread. So, I'm glad you guys came to the party so to speak. I wanted to respond to this last night as well, I just couldn't do it.

I enjoyed what you poked up there, and I was a lil' tipsy on birthday margarita last night, all was well. 🙂 You must have been tuckered out last night ( or I was up till stupid o'clock again ). Needed it. As you can see I turned 40 with minimal fanfare and am none the worse for wear. 🙂

should I write to him and tell him I'm ok with this and get it why he's doing this? or is that going to sabotage things? I feel like I should, but also feel emotionally blind right now.

spica - are they worth it? sure, the one that work out. sometime it's just not the right time. sometimes people meet and are geat together but it's not the right time...is that some twisted Faiths way of pulling a fast one on us and seeing if we would withstand the passage of time? maybe...but, yes, regardless what is going on right now in my life, I think they are worth it.

GeminiMind - I know...I actually appreciate that in him and I understand it. I just want him to know that. I'm hoping he's going to get it in order and organized and than decide that he still has all that for me. I pull away too when stress hits and I go into my hermit mode and work on myself only.

Sagittarious86 - sorry it didn't work out for you, I do believe that people come into our lives for reasons...he came to mine for some reason...we shall find out what that is in time I hope it's not going to take for ever though

Posted by GeminiMind

Posted by LibraLuv

Posted by roamingfree
because he's not in a place he is able to give me anything, as he needs to get his bearings and organize his life right now...but he hopes that in few months he will want to call me and see if I still want to do anything or I can just tell him to f-off...he doesn't want me to be with someone where I give and he gives nothing back because he is not able to right now
(granted, he does have a lot on his plate and I know he's not bullshitting)

gaaah!

really?? dude? REALLY—

Roamingfree I'm really sorry to hear this and I know it's hard, but I'm really not shocked that he made that decision. Most men in that age range would feel that way, call it maybe being a little old fashioned or traditional. A man in his 40's not being able to provide any stability for himself, not to mention having to consider another, would feel that way. Otherwise it could possibly make him feel less of a man for not being able to. I can see where he is coming from. But, as for you, your relationship was fairly new, right? So, continue going out and doing things that satisfies you. Continue to date and have fun with your friends. Who know's what the future holds. If he calls you around that time that he feels like he's ready, then you'll have an answer for him, whether it be you answering his call or not. The good thing is, the ball is in your court. 😉

My Libra buddy is going through a similar situation with his Gem girl. I know him, he'll be back when his shit's in order. Some of us are still old fashioned, and don't involved the people we care about when we are in hunter/gatherer mode. We always come back home though. When a REAL man isn't in a secure place, he tends to step back and regroup. :/

click to expand

did he cut her off completely? or is he somewhere in the background? not that one behavior guarantees same in another. is he actually thinking about going back?

RomingFree, he cut EVERYBODY off. That's just what he does. Libra and Cancer are very similar in their "hermit" mentality.

I'm not all that convinced. There is no recipe for relationships. It's always what works for both people, regardless what anyone else thinks. There is no right or wrong.

Posted by GeminiMind
RomingFree, he cut EVERYBODY off. That's just what he does. Libra and Cancer are very similar in their "hermit" mentality.

I think he's doing exactly that right now. He said he doesn't even talk to his family right now. I do that too, and it does mean everybody.
Well, should I tell him that I'm ok with it and I get it? because I actually am, once I put my own selfcententered arrogance and pride aside and actually think about his side.

I don't want to just walk away, I don't burn bridges. I am not vengeful and I don't even hate him for that. But I really have no clue what to do. I can honestly say that before I met him, I was after a string of relationships that I had no issues walking away from, along with 10 years with Aqua. I felt good, I was great alone, I actually enjoyed being alone and didn't want to be with anyone. At all. I loved my solitude. I don't feel, deep in my gut that this is actually done.

Definitely communicate that you 'understand' and he'll appreciate that. But, do what you gotta do for you. If there is no "you" there can never be an "us".

@ GeminiMind:

I know. 🙂
Thank you.
We have a fantastic communication - this is what keeps us going, it's our main thing, aside for all else that really is effortless. I understand that sometimes things are just not working in ways we want them. Some people will say: right people, but just wrong time... that is just a perception. We always go through things precisely at the time we are supposed to. The difference is whether we take this as a lesson or a trial we are able or not to pass.
I'm willing to keep the door open as I move through my life constructively, bettering myself at what I need to do for me.
I'm hoping this will clear out and that pieces will fall in place again.
I think this keeps me from becoming bitter and harboring any resentment towards him. I want him to come out of this on his terms so he will be able to come back with full force and know what he wants and is able to give what he should.
I don't see how this can just become nothing, after all him and I were to each other.
I'm hoping...as I force myself to move on and put him out of my mind as the person immediately involved in my life.

Posted by aquagirl24

Posted by Sagittarius89
Roaming Free,


I was dumped by a libra too. It was awful and piercing.


About 4 months later he came back and told me loved me and wanted to be with me.


Of course I said No. Anyone who thinks they can do that and be in my good graces are out of their minds. (Mars in Scorp, Leo moon...can't help it 😛)


But we have remained good friends none the less. I do cherish him as that alot.


So don't give up hope!

u are absolutely right
hows u btw xxx

click to expand

I've been alright. How about you?

I do understand it. I do it very often and remove myself to deal with my own stress or whatever it is I need to attend to.
He truly does have a lot on his plate. I hope for his benefit he will be able to put it together as soon as he can.
Not all men are dicks...even if we would like to use the knee jerk reaction and actually take the easy way out without trying to understand the other persons stance while forgetting about our own self serving purpose.
It is emotional though. Going through this right now is emotional even if I managed to find my own balance in this and turn the heat down.

me too. 🙂

Posted by everevolvingepithet
Aren't friends open and honest with each other though ?
So going quiet doesn't exactly promote being open in that sense.

True...but, only time will tell now.

In any case, I am ok with how I feel about this. I came to terms with things and found my balance.
If things move on in a constructive way between him and I, good, if not - that's ok, too.

You know, I need space more often than I admit. I think either one of us would resent any personal space suffocation. I'll let him do what he feels he needs to do. He knows not to take too much time though, he is reasonable.

true

Posted by roamingfree


spica - are they worth it? sure, the one that work out. sometime it's just not the right time. sometimes people meet and are geat together but it's not the right time...is that some twisted Faiths way of pulling a fast one on us and seeing if we would withstand the passage of time? maybe...but, yes, regardless what is going on right now in my life, I think they are worth it.

I think if the emotions go rollercoasterish, the universe is training the emotional fortitude. Pretty much a school of life.
You just need to know this: Emotions are like clouds - they vaporize, and then they come back. No point fretting when the clouds have been full and it's time to rain, 'cos like a vicious little cycle, the water comes back up.

Posted by spica

Posted by roamingfree


spica - are they worth it? sure, the one that work out. sometime it's just not the right time. sometimes people meet and are geat together but it's not the right time...is that some twisted Faiths way of pulling a fast one on us and seeing if we would withstand the passage of time? maybe...but, yes, regardless what is going on right now in my life, I think they are worth it.

I think if the emotions go rollercoasterish, the universe is training the emotional fortitude. Pretty much a school of life.
You just need to know this: Emotions are like clouds - they vaporize, and then they come back. No point fretting when the clouds have been full and it's time to rain, 'cos like a vicious little cycle, the water comes back up.

click to expand

I really like that. I can deal with that. Thank you. maybe I needed that explanation...because my emotions sometimes are...well...in overdrive...
I'll keep this in mind and see what I can do with it the next time around 🙂

Cool. I feel your pain, though. 🙂

vaporise....nice, than along these lines all women are f***ed without getting screwed .... meh...I can't do emotions today. I'm happy being detached, even if the whole original situation is a major PITA at the moment...my patience needs practice. Today I feel like just throwing my arms in the air, saying: fine! be that way! and storming off with a very infantile attitude...


sheeeshh...time...I wish it would hurry up sometimes...

Posted by roamingfree
vaporise....nice, than along these lines all women are f***ed without getting screwed .... meh...I can't do emotions today. I'm happy being detached, even if the whole original situation is a major PITA at the moment...my patience needs practice. Today I feel like just throwing my arms in the air, saying: fine! be that way! and storming off with a very infantile attitude...


sheeeshh...time...I wish it would hurry up sometimes...

What hurry up?

RoamingFree, do you have a lot of water in your chart?

I dooooo... ;/

Sun Gemini 16.46 AscendantScorpio 20.58
Moon Virgo 14.24 II Sagittarius 21.53
Mercury Cancer 6.10 III Aquarius 2.11
Venus Cancer 2.19 IV Pisces 12.16
Mars Pisces 21.11 V Aries 12.30
Jupiter Aquarius12.02 R VI Taurus 4.20
Saturn Gemini 23.07 VII Taurus 20.58
Uranus Libra 19.05 R VIII Gemini 21.53
Neptune Sagittarius5.46 R IX Leo 2.11
Pluto Libra 1.42 R Midheaven Virgo 12.16
Lilith Sagittarius22.19 XI Libra 12.30
Asc node Capricorn7.48 XII Scorpio 4.20


and he has some too...

Sun Libra 6.21 Ascendant Virgo 22.42
Moon Capricorn 9.19 II Libra 17.48
Mercury Scorpio 0.22 III Scorpio 17.44
Venus Scorpio 3.22 IV Sagittarius 21.26
Mars Virgo 4.49 V Capricorn 25.30
Jupiter Virgo 20.48 VI Aquarius 26.19
Saturn Aries 23.19 R VII Pisces 22.42
Uranus Libra 0.03 VIII Aries 17.48
Neptune Scorpio 24.34 IX Taurus 17.44
Pluto Virgo 23.12 Midheaven Gemini 21.26
Lilith Gemini 11.34 XI Cancer 25.30
Asc node Aries 9.30 XII Leo 26.19


now where I go with this fiasco?
😢

Posted by everevolvingepithet
Believe me I'm having one of those days.
Soooooo, do you have any skeletons in your closet ?
Ever tortured a housemate ?
Poisoned them ?
I'm taking notes y'see.
🙂

I would tell you...but I haven't figured out how I would dispose of your body after I let you in on the secrets 😉

😄

my cat cought a mouse the other night - does that cont?

sheesh...my cat caught a mouse the other night, does that count?... - sorry about the typos

there are always secrets...depends if you are willing to admit that something raises the hair on the back of your neck when you find something out about someone or not...and how much anxiety the person revealing will experience. 😉


the mouse was a night stalker...good kitty 🙂

lol...I thought yours would be: "oh, my, there IS a secret ... ;/" - with an aloof and somewhat disgusted reaction, as opposed to shocked and in disbelief 🙂

Posted by everevolvingepithet

Posted by spica

Posted by roamingfree


spica - are they worth it? sure, the one that work out. sometime it's just not the right time. sometimes people meet and are geat together but it's not the right time...is that some twisted Faiths way of pulling a fast one on us and seeing if we would withstand the passage of time? maybe...but, yes, regardless what is going on right now in my life, I think they are worth it.

I think if the emotions go rollercoasterish, the universe is training the emotional fortitude. Pretty much a school of life.
You just need to know this: Emotions are like clouds - they vaporize, and then they come back. No point fretting when the clouds have been full and it's time to rain, 'cos like a vicious little cycle, the water comes back up.

They vaporise when heated up 🙂

click to expand

Yeah, it happens. Else, it'll be flat like the signal in a surgeon's monitor -- you know, to indicate lack of heartbeat?

I deal with him easily...as you can tell, there is nothing to deal with now. ;/

the Libra...

yes...I'm not a cat 🙂

Posted by roamingfree
I dooooo... ;/

Sun Gemini 16.46 AscendantScorpio 20.58
Moon Virgo 14.24 II Sagittarius 21.53
Mercury Cancer 6.10 III Aquarius 2.11
Venus Cancer 2.19 IV Pisces 12.16
Mars Pisces 21.11 V Aries 12.30
Jupiter Aquarius12.02 R VI Taurus 4.20
Saturn Gemini 23.07 VII Taurus 20.58
Uranus Libra 19.05 R VIII Gemini 21.53
Neptune Sagittarius5.46 R IX Leo 2.11
Pluto Libra 1.42 R Midheaven Virgo 12.16
Lilith Sagittarius22.19 XI Libra 12.30
Asc node Capricorn7.48 XII Scorpio 4.20


and he has some too...

Sun Libra 6.21 Ascendant Virgo 22.42
Moon Capricorn 9.19 II Libra 17.48
Mercury Scorpio 0.22 III Scorpio 17.44
Venus Scorpio 3.22 IV Sagittarius 21.26
Mars Virgo 4.49 V Capricorn 25.30
Jupiter Virgo 20.48 VI Aquarius 26.19
Saturn Aries 23.19 R VII Pisces 22.42
Uranus Libra 0.03 VIII Aries 17.48
Neptune Scorpio 24.34 IX Taurus 17.44
Pluto Virgo 23.12 Midheaven Gemini 21.26
Lilith Gemini 11.34 XI Cancer 25.30
Asc node Aries 9.30 XII Leo 26.19


now where I go with this fiasco?
😢

What is it with Cap moons? They are so cold

KOL - that's BS,..."he has to get his bearings" - now, that's another kind of BS...

Posted by THEKingofLibra
You Geminis are weird. You know you want something but you won't tell us. Fuckers!

There's actually some truth to this. We sometimes EXPECT people to figure shit out. We tend to get disappointed though. 😢

well, some things should be obvious...this is not rocket science, it's just relationships between people. We are outspoken enough, not like we hide what we want, it's all out there once our mind is made up...people just turn the deaf ears on what we are saying...trust me...I was talking to a "deaf" Aqua for 10 years...however when I was with Cap/Aqua - he heard me loud and clear and acted accordingly...go figure