Opening our big libra mouths!

I was just wondering if you any other libra girls suffer from this out there? When I'm in the process of trying to make a decision and I'm all over the place weighing things out in my head....first, I get everybody I know to give me an opinion, and then I open my stupid mouth before I have it figured out on my own yeT!! I just told my aqua guy, about 2 weeks ago that I was happy and content with our "friendship" which involves hanging out, drinking, and hooking up....right now I'm staying away from relationships and it truly does make me happy having him in my life at the level he is right now. He also feels the same way...BUT, my friend opened her mouth out of concern for me, and swayed my feelings about the situation. I realize friends always give their advice and points of view on your situation, but sometimes I feel that due to my sign, I tend to take their opinions to heart, and dwell on them too much, then I went and opened my mouth to my aqua expressing concern about the way our friendship was goign- seriously just because I had listened to my friend, and not to my own gut feeling!!! I feel things so strongly and am so sure about them once I decide and make a decision- but listeniogn to others is a huge downfall for me! I didn't say anything too horrible to my guy, but totally confused him....I can't keep goign back and forth- especially when I know what I want and feel....I just had to share my frustration, and if anyone can relate to this- how can we learn to stop this type of behaviour? When I'm upset, it's impossible to practice patience and just think about it more before talking about things so soon!

I think it has more to do with being the scales and even though you think you have made up your mind ... you still go back and forth ... always wondering if you made the right decision.

Now when it comes to love I think you should be more certain, however I have a venus in scorp so I am very forward, you however may be different. Find out what your venus is in. That will have alot to do with it as well.

I would definently stay friends for now if your uncertain. Friends is always a safe bet. Let me know about your venus sign though ...

I write, to be honest with you. Just put it on paper or do an online journal. Go back and read it a week later, just to be certain if you want to discuss it!

The problem to me doesn't sound like a big mouth .. it sounds like big ears.

Southernbeauty...Hm...my venus is in scorpio! Haha, I just read a description and I can't believe it...it describes me to a T. I am extremely passionate when it comes to love....and actually, I know I am falling for this aqua male...I can see it happening, but I am trying to tame it. I guess I could end up getting crushed, but I'm going on faith here, and I believe we have something special, and amazing...but there is no way to rush it...I feel our friendship needs to develop and grow, this is different from my past relationships because I believe there is potential for this to turn into something, but I am starting to connect with someone on a mental level, which is more work than my past relationships! And being that this guy is an aqua, that is a whole different challenge I'm working with! Anyways, I'm not uncertain, I think we are friends....except we have a serious connection and attraction to eachother! I don't know his birth chart details...all I know is that I personally go back and forth but deep down I know what I want! I tend to listen to others more than I should....UCME, thanks for the journal idea...I really think this will help me.

P-Angel...good observation! haha

(( When I'm in the process of trying to make a decision and I'm all over the place weighing things out in my head....first, I get everybody I know to give me an opinion, and then I open my stupid mouth before I have it figured out on my own yeT! ))

reminds me of myself a few years ago. Now I talk only to other libras or saggis or aquas to get an opinion unless its a specific topic.

The trick is to find a partner who understands this. To open your mouth to verbally wiegh-out is only a bad thing to people who take personally everything you say, as if it's meant to be some kind of conclusion.

I'm unclear why so many people struggle with this. If we all KNOW that Libra's need to wiegh things out, and that they go through a process of considering all the angles .. then why get upset while they are going through this process?

When I lived with my Libra-ex for three years, he did this constantly when he was trying to come to a conclusion about something ... and along the way of his mental processing, he said all kinds of stuff, ranging from perfectly logical to outlandish and everything inbetween before he came to his decision. That is the nature .. why get upset about it?

sakesumo .. don't feel weird about being who you are.

Thanks P-Angel, but another challenge to this is that not everybody understands or cares to understand astrology! The aqua guy I'm talking to would never really comprehend the importance of understanding his partner's sign, and I dont' want to talk about it too much because then it would sound like I'm making excuses for my behavior....this aqua man would look at it that way, I'm pretty sure...even some of my own friends don't always understand why I try to learn about my sign, or theirs!! So I guess I could say, aqua man, ignore what I said becuase I'm a libra and it takes me a long time to weigh things out in my head- please understand...but, he wouldn't understand. BUT, I think he is trying to get me and is starting to understand how I am, not relating it to my zodiac sign of course, but he probably will ignore the comment I made the other day...at least i hope he does!!

if you ignore it, he will let it go, likely. I wouldn't worry so much about being influenced by your friends. Really, they are your friends for a reason and sometimes know you better than you could ever know yourself. Many times in this thread you've expressed your fear and the fact that you are "falling for him." From this outside standpoint I think you do have something to think about. You just need to learn that you don't have to tell him everything you decide or feel or think. Some thoughts are best left to yourself until you feel them over and over the same way, that's how you know they're real.

Some thoughts are best left to yourself until you feel them over and over the same way, that's how you know they're real...

I like this...so true...that is my problem, sharing too much with people and what I am thinking when I am involved in a relationship...I really think what you said makes so much sense! Thanks...I still haven't heard from him yet this week, since our last conversation, but he's on a ski trip so I'm sure I'll be hearing from him soon! ugh!!!!! I hate it when I open my big mouth!

I wouldn't be surprised if he pulls away for a little while. Aqua's are very very prone to doing this. Don't take it personally. Take it from me, I've dated a number of Aqua men. They don't like when we start thinking out lout (lol, we do it all the time, it's hard to tame, but easy to spot).

Like I said, ignore it, he will get over it. Just don't bring any of it up again for a long time, he'll relax with you after awhile. If he doesn't call after his ski trip, give him plenty of space. Don't go to him, wait for him. They get real interested if they have to do the chasing! He'll start wondering why YOU aren't calling, and that means he's thinking about you...

a Muse for a libra...too late! I already called him! doh! I called him on Thursday, I couldn't help it, I wanted to see how his trip was...we talked for a while but didn't make plans for the weekend. I didn't initiate any plans intentionally, but he didn't either...I haven't heard from him all weekend...I understand that for some reason aqua's like the chase which means not hearing from them for periods of time...but do they ever move on from this, especially if the feelings grow stronger between people? I guess I just wonder when he'll start opening up...we spend time together, (which sometimes, or atleast the last few weeks has led to hooking up a lot) but it's like, he is really hard to read...he talks to me, but never about FEELINGS..it's hard having normal conversations with him that feel natural or human even...we can talk for a long time about many topics but when it comes to naturally just talking about how he feels about things, it's so hard, I feel like he has a HUGE wall up...I feel like he keeps all of his feelings to himself..and is not going to sharE! He may say something like, "i like kissing you, or I like spending time with you" but that's it...it ends there! I feel that this aqua lacks passion, but I know it's there, it is there somewhere!!! The way we kiss, the way he holds me...it is there but as far as talking about anything, I just wonder if one day he'll open up. I am extremely patient with him because first of all, he is an aqua and it requires patience being with an aqua in the first place...but also, I have SO many personal things going on in my life tha tI'm actually not trying to rush or pressure this friendship into moving into something deeper at this time, due to my personal goals right now and I believe he is not ready for it either, as he has stated he's not ready to give more of himself...so this may be a very long courtship, I just wonder, will he ever break?! Give me some glimpse of hope? Hmm...maybe things need to get exciting again, it's a good thing I didn't hear from him all weekend, but I still wish I hadn't called him first. Darn it.

I'd like to give you hope, but you'd be better off finding it on the aqua board. i've never broken down that infamous wall with an aqua. it is very hard for them to understand what they are feeling, let alone for them to try and communicate that. Don't stop from talking about feelings with him, not completely. Just don't talk about your feelings ABOUT him. And don't call them feelings, instead of saying,

"i feel..." say, "I think..." he'll respond much more openly. Just leave that word "feel" out of any sentence and keep him "thinking." it's a little trick, but it has worked for me.

Just have fun with him. It sounds like that's what you're involved in now, and that it's been good. Yes, feelings are growing, that is natural, but you can still be lighthearted about the time you spend together, keep it light, that's the way aquas learn to trust.

I am trying to have fun with him...and it has been fun up until this week really. Last week, we spent Sund. night together, and then I didn't hear from him all week after my call to him Monday morning. I called him and we chatted on thurs., I got no plans for the weekend from him...he worked all weekend so I'll give him some credit there, but on Sunday (yesterday) when we worked together, he barely talked to me...he said hi but we were extremely busy due to the holiday, and then I left without saying goodbye bec. his parents (owners of the rest.) were hanging out with him at the bar and I didn't want to intrude on their conversation...So I left, normally, when I leave without saying goodbye (it's only happened twice) he calls that night....to see if everything's cool I guess...well, I didn't get a call last night, and nothing today. It's another day of drinking for him (he's irish), and I have a feelign I wont' hear from again today! He didn't even invite me to drink or celebrate with him! Basically, he has just avoided me since my comment, and since he agreed to "think of something" for us to do, as per my request. It could be a combination of the long work weekend for him, and he's still in spring-break drinking mode...maybe once his week calms down he'll call...but up until now, I have pretty much had commnication with him weekly, I just have this strong feeling that his actions this weekend, by not calling really means something big....have you ever dealt with the aqua disappearing act? Is it possible this is what I am dealing with? We've been talking/seeing eachother whatever you want to call it since the end of october, going on 5 mths, so maybe this is normal for aquas at this point? hmm...feel so hurt. dont' know what to do, i feel like ignoring his phone calls at this point...that's if he calls.

just carry on with your life. yes, this is absolutely aqua disappearing act, to a T. I mentioned earlier that he might back off because you swayed him with your feelings. just keep being you, act like it doesn't bother you. Really, try not to let it bother you so much. It might not even have anything to do with you, you never know with an aqua. They pull the disappearing act on their closest friends. It is more about their lives and what is going on in them, and needing time to themselves to sort out thoughts (they have SO many thoughts).

Do take his call if (when) he contacts you. But don't be eager to go out, just be calm calm calm. Tell him all the things you've been up to, just be FRIENDS with him. you'll start to feel more comfortable if you think of him that way. Don't let yourself get hurt, you give him all your power! you need the power, they find it very sexy. you be in control of this, don't let him get to you.

See, aqua's like head games. not game playing, just little games that kind of test you, push you to see what you do. If you freak out now, he will lose interest. push back a little, he'll appreciate it. have fun with it, too. because they think of it that way....

I think you kind of gave yourself the answer to your own question. The key to all of this confusion within yourself can be solved if you learn the cause and effect clause. You ALREADY know that if you're confused about something you go about getting help by venting and asking for advice (which is a good thing), but if your opinion changes just as often as the next person you're venting to, then maybe the issue is deeper than what you're friends are telling you. You need to get to know yourself, need to know what YOU want, not what your friends want for you. Advice from others should COMPLIMENT your thoughts, not SUPPLEMENT them. If your friends have THAT much power over your actions, then they might as well be in the relationship/friendships with you.

Alot of my Libra female friends have these same concerns. When they get confused, they get confused for a lonnng time & they spend alot of time venting & trying to get others to sort out things for them but what they are really do is UNDERESTIMATING the power of their own minds & intelligence. Like I said, venting & seeking advice is a GOOD thing, but letting their opinions later become your OWN opinion (just because they said so) is something that can either break or make all of your friendships & future relationships.

Staying to yourself (not venting) won't help you in this situation but even when the average person is confused their is always one solution to their problem that sticks out FARTHER than the other (which means that you atleast know there is some type of craving for you to maintain a friendship with him). If you're being naive & seek advice is not unusual for a good friend to step in & give advice that usually makes you think, thus changing your mind on something. But if you're just confused, don't let everybody do the thinking for you sometimes because as you already see, it will just cause MORE confusion for you & for the person you are confusing.

GOOD LUCK 🙂

Ok, so maybe I freaked out, just a little. The last thing I told you guys was that the aqua didnt' call all weekend, and didn't call me when I left work on Sunday night without saying goodbye to him. I heard from him Monday night, I think I threw him off a little because he thought I was workign Monday night again at the restaurant, and apparently he stopped in to "grab a bite to eat" and when he saw that I was not workign, he got curious and called me. It was late on St. Patty's day, around 10:00 pm, he wasn't callign to make plans but I guess just wondering what I was up to. We chatted for a few minutes, but I was out with friends and told him that....so I think it was a plus that he knew I had plans adn wasn't just sitting at home waiting for his call! Then he called me again on Wednesday night, and asked if I wanted to get a drink and watch the hockey game. So, even though I had planned on not saying yes to him, I truly had a horrible day and needed a drink! So, we watched the game, played pool...it was really fun, I feel like he's opening up to me finally, I think he is actually looking at me as a friend. At the end of the night, he said to me "So, I know tonight still involved a little drinking, but I tried"....This WAS his attempt to do something as friends, like I had asked last week during our conversation. I had specifically said, can we do something as friends, that doesn't necessarily involved drinking and hooking up...I thought it was extremely sweet that he made an effort, and wanted me to know that this was his effort. Here was my mistake though, as soon as we left, I called him and asked if he wanted to watch our favorite tv series (arrested development, very funny btw)...he said I should come over and watch it, and that I should know that I am welcome any time at his house...so, of course, I kind of initiated things, AGAIN...but it was amazing. I went over, we watched a few episodes and had an amazing night together! I don't have a problem with hooking up, and I know that he's making an effort...we are friends, and getting to know eachother on different levels now...slowly...but surely...my only fear is, AGAIN, because "friends" keep telling me this, is that he is goign to lose interest, or not see me as a challenge enough if I go home with him...but I don't see it that way...I think we have an amazing understanding and connection with eachother...Tonight, we were supposed to hang because there was this group thing my friends

sounds good sakesumo! really. you played your cards well. your friends are not involved in your intimate moments. His effort sounds genuine and nice. of course you'd want a little fun after feeling so good all evening. I don't see anything wrong with that, and I don't see how hooking up with him will make him run. aquas can deal with the physical side of a situation, it's the "feelings" that get them all worked up. just keep it up, you sounds so much calmer and happier. just remember, keep those sticky feelings to yourself and stay calm calm calm. have fun!

But my dear friends, cancelled! I was a little disapointed because my aqua was goign to hang out with us...and now it's kind of off...but I'm just being cool about it, I don't want him to think that everything revolves around him. So, I may just not call him tonight...I told him on the phone this mornign that plans had been cancelled but got off the phone with him very quickly so it wastn't awkward...we'll see if he calls...if not, I don't think I'll be upset...I just spent the evening with him two nights ago! But you're right about the friends kryesee...I definitely need to be more sure of myself before seeking advice. The thing is, in this particular situation, I'm not looking to my friends for advice, they are simply pointing out things that they dont' like for me and my relationship, because they are worried about me being mistreated by some guy...but at the same time, they know him and really like him, I just need to remember that I am happy, and nto let people convince me otherwise!

Thanks Muse!! I just have to share one more thing...this may seem minor to most people who don't understand aquarians, but all of the times we hang out...this aqua is usually not very affectionate physically until, well, we are in the moment. I sometimes go over to his place and he'll stand on the opposite end of the kitchen talking to me from 4 feet away for a while before he ever gets close to me! In fact, until we are literally in bed, he doesn't come near me! But the other night, when I got to his place after our evening of playing pool and hanging out, he was waiting at the door for me, and as soon as I walked in, he greeted me with a kiss! A little makeout session...he NEVER does this, I realize he may have been a little buzzed, but I have been with this guy when we were both completely plastered and he still never outwardly shows me affection in that way. That's why I know we are making progress...I couldn't believe he did that...🙂 I think I'm starting to get a glimpse of those wonderful little aquarian gestures I keep reading about. I will definitely keep you guys posted...thank you for all of your help...gotta keep some feelings to myself...love that, and so true