Relationship issues for Libras or nah?

Okay, so over the last two years ive had some humbling experiences. Some of you may have even read my pathetic Cancer man posts. I've found that I will get into relationships and when I want to get out, I all of the sudden panic. I flip the script, miss them and start blaming myself. Or making the people seem grander than they actually are in my head. This will go on and on. A cycle of self blame, than self realization.I have an extremely hard time with rejection and letting go of relationships. Even when I dont even necessarily like the relationship its self. Its odd because in general I consider myself an attractive, strong, financially stable, intelligent and grounded woman. But I freak out about breaking up with losers because im afraid to be alone.

This probably isnt an astrology thing but its ridiculous and I'm not sure how to tame this aspect of myself.

Does anyone else do dumb shit like this?

It seems clear from what you've just said here. The issue is your own self talk. Somewhere deep down, you have the belief that there is a problem with being alone. You yearn for partnership, which is very much a Libra trait. However you're so afraid of rejection that you go for "losers", or rather, guys who will depend on you. If the guys are depending on you, they'll have a harder time leaving you. You know this pattern isn't healthy for you, but it's almost like a drug since it fits your own personal narrative.

But why do you do this? By going for losers, you create the relationships you feel you deserve. You trick yourself into believing that the relationship is fulfilling because the guy "needs" you. In reality you don't see yourself as a worthwhile person. You feel that these "losers" are the best you can get. As you've stated, you know your value on paper (beauty, stability, intelligence, etc), but internally it doesn't register. As a result you do not go for well adjusted guys who would be your equal. It is your fear that these guys would see you and reject you. Therefore the loser guys are a safer option.

How do you fix this? The key is building up your self esteem by knowing your own value. You need to start seeing yourself as a high quality person, a prize even. That's not to say that you should be arrogant or stuck up, but you need to start going for men who have just as much to offer you as you would to them. I find that some Libras have a hard time knowing their own internal value. You need to really start looking at what you truly want and going for it.

Relationships are there to teach us lessons in life. And your self awareness here means your learning.

Because your biggest fear is being alone I would challenge you to face it head on and remain single for the next year. Still date, but don't tumble from one relationship into another. Enjoy the freedom that comes from singledom. Once you embrace it you will no longer fear it. And you won't make shitty decisions or cling to failing relationships because you fear being by yourself. Maybe.

Posted by LadyNeptune
Relationships are there to teach us lessons in life. And your self awareness here means your learning.

Because your biggest fear is being alone I would challenge you to face it head on and remain single for the next year. Still date, but don't tumble from one relationship into another. Enjoy the freedom that comes from singledom. Once you embrace it you will no longer fear it. And you won't make shitty decisions or cling to failing relationships because you fear being by yourself. Maybe.

This would have been my advice too op.

Posted by tiziani

Posted by Chuckcem
It seems clear from what you've just said here. The issue is your own self talk. Somewhere deep down, you have the belief that there is a problem with being alone. You yearn for partnership, which is very much a Libra trait. However you're so afraid of rejection that you go for "losers", or rather, guys who will depend on you. If the guys are depending on you, they'll have a harder time leaving you. You know this pattern isn't healthy for you, but it's almost like a drug since it fits your own personal narrative.

But why do you do this? By going for losers, you create the relationships you feel you deserve. You trick yourself into believing that the relationship is fulfilling because the guy "needs" you. In reality you don't see yourself as a worthwhile person. You feel that these "losers" are the best you can get. As you've stated, you know your value on paper (beauty, stability, intelligence, etc), but internally it doesn't register. As a result you do not go for well adjusted guys who would be your equal. It is your fear that these guys would see you and reject you. Therefore the loser guys are a safer option.

How do you fix this? The key is building up your self esteem by knowing your own value. You need to start seeing yourself as a high quality person, a prize even. That's not to say that you should be arrogant or stuck up, but you need to start going for men who have just as much to offer you as you would to them. I find that some Libras have a hard time knowing their own internal value. You need to really start looking at what you truly want and going for it.

I respectfully disagree with this. Reason: Equating your self-worth to the perceived value of men in your life will just make you an object. And, if you think about it, that's really no different from using "being afraid to be alone" as a personal narrative.

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It's not about equating her self worth to the value of men in her life, it's abut understanding why she goes after lower quality men in the first place. There's clearly a pattern and therefore a consistent cause. By looking at the end result she can figure out the root of the problem.

I'd say the same thing if she were a man who felt he was constantly going after low grade women. I'd tell him that his own self doubt put him in situations where he was avoiding high quality women because he felt he didn't deserve them. In this case he was too afraid to go after women he felt were "out of his league". I'd tell him the reason he felt anyone was "out of his league" was because he felt lower than those other women somehow. I'd tell him to challenge himself and go for the women he felt were "better".

To put it in different terms, it would be the same idea if she said that she wound up only taking "easy" classes in college and didn't feel that she was being challenged/stimulated. I'd say that this pattern evolved from a inner fear of not feeling intelligent enough to take classes that would be better or more "challenging" for her. A person who perceives themselves as having a high intelligence will often take more challenging courses because they believe that they can still succeed. They understand while the class may be more difficult, it will help them in the long run. In this scenario would you say that the person equated their intelligence to the classes they were taking? No. The two may be related, but aren't directly link. It's all about the person's self perception.

Posted by Sanchez

Posted by Chuckcem
It seems clear from what you've just said here. The issue is your own self talk. Somewhere deep down, you have the belief that there is a problem with being alone. You yearn for partnership, which is very much a Libra trait. However you're so afraid of rejection that you go for "losers", or rather, guys who will depend on you. If the guys are depending on you, they'll have a harder time leaving you. You know this pattern isn't healthy for you, but it's almost like a drug since it fits your own personal narrative.

But why do you do this? By going for losers, you create the relationships you feel you deserve. You trick yourself into believing that the relationship is fulfilling because the guy "needs" you. In reality you don't see yourself as a worthwhile person. You feel that these "losers" are the best you can get. As you've stated, you know your value on paper (beauty, stability, intelligence, etc), but internally it doesn't register. As a result you do not go for well adjusted guys who would be your equal. It is your fear that these guys would see you and reject you. Therefore the loser guys are a safer option.

How do you fix this? The key is building up your self esteem by knowing your own value. You need to start seeing yourself as a high quality person, a prize even. That's not to say that you should be arrogant or stuck up, but you need to start going for men who have just as much to offer you as you would to them. I find that some Libras have a hard time knowing their own internal value. You need to really start looking at what you truly want and going for it.

You're wrong!! Being alone is a trait of insecure motherfuckers. Don't blame that shit on a Sun sign. I have 3 libra placements and have never had issues of being alone. So you're talking nonsense.

click to expand

She's the one who said being alone was a problem, not me. Calm down and actually read the full message. My response was:

"The issue is your own self talk. Somewhere deep down, you have the belief that there is a problem with being alone."

Posted by Sanchez

Posted by Chuckcem

Posted by Sanchez

Posted by Chuckcem
It seems clear from what you've just said here. The issue is your own self talk. Somewhere deep down, you have the belief that there is a problem with being alone. You yearn for partnership, which is very much a Libra trait. However you're so afraid of rejection that you go for "losers", or rather, guys who will depend on you. If the guys are depending on you, they'll have a harder time leaving you. You know this pattern isn't healthy for you, but it's almost like a drug since it fits your own personal narrative.

But why do you do this? By going for losers, you create the relationships you feel you deserve. You trick yourself into believing that the relationship is fulfilling because the guy "needs" you. In reality you don't see yourself as a worthwhile person. You feel that these "losers" are the best you can get. As you've stated, you know your value on paper (beauty, stability, intelligence, etc), but internally it doesn't register. As a result you do not go for well adjusted guys who would be your equal. It is your fear that these guys would see you and reject you. Therefore the loser guys are a safer option.

How do you fix this? The key is building up your self esteem by knowing your own value. You need to start seeing yourself as a high quality person, a prize even. That's not to say that you should be arrogant or stuck up, but you need to start going for men who have just as much to offer you as you would to them. I find that some Libras have a hard time knowing their own internal value. You need to really start looking at what you truly want and going for it.

You're wrong!! Being alone is a trait of insecure motherfuckers. Don't blame that shit on a Sun sign. I have 3 libra placements and have never had issues of being alone. So you're talking nonsense.

She's the one who said being alone was a problem, not me. Calm down and actually read the full message. My response was:

"The issue is your own self talk. Somewhere deep down, you have the belief that there is a problem with being alone."

Don't backpedal, stupid. I read what I wanted to read. You clearly mentioned being alone is an issue for Libras. You added so many roses and honey to your bullshit that you must've forgot that part.

click to expand

I said wanting a partnership is a Libran trait, I go on to say that the real problem though is her own self perception though. It's clearly written there

It seems clear from what you've just said here. The issue is your own self talk. Somewhere deep down, you have the belief that there is a problem with being alone. You yearn for partnership, which is very much a Libra trait. However you're so afraid of rejection that you go for "losers", or rather, guys who will depend on you. If the guys are depending on you, they'll have a harder time leaving you. You know this pattern isn't healthy for you, but it's almost like a drug since it fits your own personal narrative.



Seriously what type of person are you to waste time trying to insult a person you don't even know?

It is important to be able to be single for a few years so you no longer fear being alone. As difficult as that sounds, for people who are afraid of being alone, that is the best thing they can do for themselves.

Posted by Sanchez

Posted by Chuckcem

Posted by Sanchez

Posted by Chuckcem

Posted by Sanchez

Posted by Chuckcem
It seems clear from what you've just said here. The issue is your own self talk. Somewhere deep down, you have the belief that there is a problem with being alone. You yearn for partnership, which is very much a Libra trait. However you're so afraid of rejection that you go for "losers", or rather, guys who will depend on you. If the guys are depending on you, they'll have a harder time leaving you. You know this pattern isn't healthy for you, but it's almost like a drug since it fits your own personal narrative.

But why do you do this? By going for losers, you create the relationships you feel you deserve. You trick yourself into believing that the relationship is fulfilling because the guy "needs" you. In reality you don't see yourself as a worthwhile person. You feel that these "losers" are the best you can get. As you've stated, you know your value on paper (beauty, stability, intelligence, etc), but internally it doesn't register. As a result you do not go for well adjusted guys who would be your equal. It is your fear that these guys would see you and reject you. Therefore the loser guys are a safer option.

How do you fix this? The key is building up your self esteem by knowing your own value. You need to start seeing yourself as a high quality person, a prize even. That's not to say that you should be arrogant or stuck up, but you need to start going for men who have just as much to offer you as you would to them. I find that some Libras have a hard time knowing their own internal value. You need to really start looking at what you truly want and going for it.

You're wrong!! Being alone is a trait of insecure motherfuckers. Don't blame that shit on a Sun sign. I have 3 libra placements and have never had issues of being alone. So you're talking nonsense.

She's the one who said being alone was a problem, not me. Calm down and actually read the full message. My response was:

"The issue is your own self talk. Somewhere deep down, you have the belief that there is a problem with being alone."

Don't backpedal, stupid. I read what I wanted to read. You clearly mentioned being alone is an issue for Libras. You added so many roses and honey to your bullshit that you must've forgot that part.

I said wanting a partnership is a Libran trait, I go on to say that the real problem though is her own self perception though. It's clearly written there

It seems clear from what you've just said here. The issue is your own self talk. Somewhere deep down, you have the belief that there is a problem with being alone. You yearn for partnership, which is very much a Libra trait. However you're so afraid of rejection that you go for "losers", or rather, guys who will depend on you. If the guys are depending on you, they'll have a harder time leaving you. You know this pattern isn't healthy for you, but it's almost like a drug since it fits your own personal narrative.



Seriously what type of person are you to waste time trying to insult a person you don't even know?

Wanting partnership is not a Libra trait. It is a HUMAN trait. Next.

You're wasting more time than I am with the corny walls of text which I'm not even going to read.

That's a fair point, it is a human trait. If you follow astrology it's also a generic Libran trait as well. Yes there are other signs who do want partnerships as well. Still wasn't my point though, nor was I blaming her problem on her sun sign.

Also you're the only one wasting your own time right now. At no point have you actually attempted to help OP in this discussion. You've just been complaining the entire time.

Posted by Sanchez
People put too much of their business on here.

Posted by Sanchez
Just put stupid people that cannot make a life for themselves without a basis for a relationship in a fucking closet and throw away the key. You all annoy me greatly.

Posted by Sanchez
And some of you Libras need to stop relying on other people to tell you who you are or what is best for you. It gives insignificant people a purpose in which they have not respectfully earned. Just saying.

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Since you feel that you're so much better than OP why dont you make yourself useful. Disagree with me if you must, but actually help her if you're going to take the time and respond.

I'm the same but currently in denial...

Libra sun Gem moon Virgo Mars and Leo Venus

Posted by tiziani

Posted by Chuckcem

Posted by tiziani

Posted by Chuckcem
It seems clear from what you've just said here. The issue is your own self talk. Somewhere deep down, you have the belief that there is a problem with being alone. You yearn for partnership, which is very much a Libra trait. However you're so afraid of rejection that you go for "losers", or rather, guys who will depend on you. If the guys are depending on you, they'll have a harder time leaving you. You know this pattern isn't healthy for you, but it's almost like a drug since it fits your own personal narrative.

But why do you do this? By going for losers, you create the relationships you feel you deserve. You trick yourself into believing that the relationship is fulfilling because the guy "needs" you. In reality you don't see yourself as a worthwhile person. You feel that these "losers" are the best you can get. As you've stated, you know your value on paper (beauty, stability, intelligence, etc), but internally it doesn't register. As a result you do not go for well adjusted guys who would be your equal. It is your fear that these guys would see you and reject you. Therefore the loser guys are a safer option.

How do you fix this? The key is building up your self esteem by knowing your own value. You need to start seeing yourself as a high quality person, a prize even. That's not to say that you should be arrogant or stuck up, but you need to start going for men who have just as much to offer you as you would to them. I find that some Libras have a hard time knowing their own internal value. You need to really start looking at what you truly want and going for it.

I respectfully disagree with this. Reason: Equating your self-worth to the perceived value of men in your life will just make you an object. And, if you think about it, that's really no different from using "being afraid to be alone" as a personal narrative.

It's not about equating her self worth to the value of men in her life, it's abut understanding why she goes after lower quality men in the first place. There's clearly a pattern and therefore a consistent cause. By looking at the end result she can figure out the root of the problem.

I'd say the same thing if she were a man who felt he was constantly going after low grade women. I'd tell him that his own self doubt put him in situations where he was avoiding high quality women because he felt he didn't deserve them. In this case he was too afraid to go after women he felt were "out of his league". I'd tell him the reason he felt anyone was "out of his league" was because he felt lower than those other women somehow. I'd tell him to challenge himself and go for the women he felt were "better".

To put it in different terms, it would be the same idea if she said that she wound up only taking "easy" classes in college and didn't feel that she was being challenged/stimulated. I'd say that this pattern evolved from a inner fear of not feeling intelligent enough to take classes that would be better or more "challenging" for her. A person who perceives themselves as having a high intelligence will often take more challenging courses because they believe that they can still succeed. They understand while the class may be more difficult, it will help them in the long run. In this scenario would you say that the person equated their intelligence to the classes they were taking? No. The two may be related, but aren't directly link. It's all about the person's self perception.

I'm even more confused about what you're saying than your first post. I don't get it. But I'm not the OP so it's all good.

I was with you up to the part where you wrote "Somewhere deep down, you have the belief that there is a problem with being alone" since the OP said so herself.

But the rest is all you.

For example:

"However you're so afraid of rejection that you go for "losers""

There's no link there. You've come up with that by yourself. All the OP said was she feels her exes are losers once the relationship goes sour. She's talking about how she handles breakups. You're trying to say it affects the type of men she goes after, when she hasn't said anything about that being a problem.

click to expand

Hm, may need OP to clarify this then. I took it to mean that she knew the guys were "losers" from the start, then when the relationships soured, she held on to them instead of leaving. Also that this was a pattern for how she handled her relationships. Since she admitted to having an extremely hard time with rejection, it sounded to me that the fear of rejection and the pattern for dating "losers" were linked.

In which case, I totally get your point.

I was single from when I was 20 to 26/27. If there's anything I'm terrified of it's being in a relationship.

For a Libra, I suck at relationships so I prefer to be alone most of the time. Trust issues. Let me blame my Taurus moon for that.

Wow. I was concerned about posting a personality flaw for fear of looking crazy. But Sanchez made me feel much more sane. Haha.



I guess it is about quality of man and quality of relationship( each at different points). I have a hard time letting go when necessary. It definitely comes from some insecurity.

I have read Libras tend to love partnership. So, I was just curious if any others have the same issue. But I certainly didn't imply it was because of any placement. Everyone has issues and I'd say this is my biggest one. Venus in Retrograde is making me very aware of my relationship patterns. It's quite intense and also cleansing.

I definitely am going to face this and take a year off relationships. 🙂



PS. Thank you Chuck for taking the time to comment. I'm sorry that person got insane with you.

Posted by heliumfiasco
Wow. I was concerned about posting a personality flaw for fear of looking crazy. But Sanchez made me feel much more sane. Haha.



I guess it is about quality of man and quality of relationship( each at different points). I have a hard time letting go when necessary. It definitely comes from some insecurity.

I have read Libras tend to love partnership. So, I was just curious if any others have the same issue. But I certainly didn't imply it was because of any placement. Everyone has issues and I'd say this is my biggest one. Venus in Retrograde is making me very aware of my relationship patterns. It's quite intense and also cleansing.

I definitely am going to face this and take a year off relationships. 🙂



PS. Thank you Chuck for taking the time to comment. I'm sorry that person got insane with you.

I was going to comment, but looks like you are taking a step in the right direction.

I liked being single at one point. It was a great time to work on me, travel, just enjoy life. Hope it helps you!

I'm pretty sure I said the Retrograde was intense and Cleansing. I haven't cried about anything. I think you're mistaking my honesty for a weakness. We all have flaws, I'm not crying about them. I'm addressing them like an adult, and bouncing the question around about others experiences in the same situation. You seem a little unhinged and unnecessarily angry which is just, if not more, annoying than anyone expressing their difficulties on this board. Perhaps you should make your own post about how to overcome being a self-righteous ass.

Posted by Librajean
I'm the same but currently in denial...

Libra sun Gem moon Virgo Mars and Leo Venus

Interesting! We have a very similar chart. What do you find yourself doing? Are you feeling it more with the Retrograde?

Posted by Cancerianfem20
Dont be soo mean OP! Shes having a hard time, asking for advice....My scorp moon is coming out lol..First off libran you are gorgeous. Embrace your libran energy! I personally burn everything in private from an ex, then get a good gf and get incredibly drunk and spill it all. Then cut off the OP Detach and think about yo self! Cancer men can be babies.. lol You are stronger and embrace it...

Thank you so much! I actually feel really empowered right now. It's taken me awhile to actually admit this is an issue. It's caused so much stress over the years. Learning to let go is definitely a lesson I need to teach myself, and I think I'm mature enough finally to start 🙂

Posted by heliumfiasco
Wow. I was concerned about posting a personality flaw for fear of looking crazy. But Sanchez made me feel much more sane. Haha.



I guess it is about quality of man and quality of relationship( each at different points). I have a hard time letting go when necessary. It definitely comes from some insecurity.

I have read Libras tend to love partnership. So, I was just curious if any others have the same issue. But I certainly didn't imply it was because of any placement. Everyone has issues and I'd say this is my biggest one. Venus in Retrograde is making me very aware of my relationship patterns. It's quite intense and also cleansing.

I definitely am going to face this and take a year off relationships. 🙂



PS. Thank you Chuck for taking the time to comment. I'm sorry that person got insane with you.

For sure! If I ever need any advice I'll be sure to hit you up too.

Posted by heliumfiasco
Okay, so over the last two years ive had some humbling experiences. Some of you may have even read my pathetic Cancer man posts. I've found that I will get into relationships and when I want to get out, I all of the sudden panic. I flip the script, miss them and start blaming myself. Or making the people seem grander than they actually are in my head. This will go on and on. A cycle of self blame, than self realization.I have an extremely hard time with rejection and letting go of relationships. Even when I dont even necessarily like the relationship its self. Its odd because in general I consider myself an attractive, strong, financially stable, intelligent and grounded woman. But I freak out about breaking up with losers because im afraid to be alone.

This probably isnt an astrology thing but its ridiculous and I'm not sure how to tame this aspect of myself.

Does anyone else do dumb shit like this?

Lol yep I'm sure we all have. Why do you think you are afraid of rejection and why is he a loser to you? As a salesman I deal with rejection all the time so I know a thing or twi about letting go. And it isn't about astrology it's just about you making the proper choice. So why you gotta leave him?

Ive been really fighting it.

However, I just asked my Cancer ex to get food while we meet tonight to get a few of his things back. He replied "I can meet around 6-7 I dont think ill be able to get food. I need to get my insurance, meet you, do laundry and get to the gym."

Basically a nice way of saying "Fuck off"..... I cried and smoked a cigarette like an idiot. Old habits die hard.

Posted by Librajean
I'm the same but currently in denial...

Libra sun Gem moon Virgo Mars and Leo Venus

Damn!

Posted by heliumfiasco
Ive been really fighting it.

However, I just asked my Cancer ex to get food while we meet tonight to get a few of his things back. He replied "I can meet around 6-7 I dont think ill be able to get food. I need to get my insurance, meet you, do laundry and get to the gym."

Basically a nice way of saying "Fuck off"..... I cried and smoked a cigarette like an idiot. Old habits die hard.

Don't cry, he is trying to be a dick on purpose. He will be back another day.

Posted by Noni05
It happens but I hear Libras don't like to be alone and they tend to stay in any relationship for the sake of companionship. Eventually the right person will come along and you'll no longer want them to go & come because they'll be ready to stay for good. ??

Yes, it's heart-wrenching to be alone for Libras.

I watched the "Dark Side of Libra" YouTube video and died laughing. Basically said exactly what this thread is talking about!

❤️ Gonna conquer this shot! Haha

Posted by Sanchez

Posted by Chuckcem

Posted by Sanchez

Posted by Chuckcem
It seems clear from what you've just said here. The issue is your own self talk. Somewhere deep down, you have the belief that there is a problem with being alone. You yearn for partnership, which is very much a Libra trait. However you're so afraid of rejection that you go for "losers", or rather, guys who will depend on you. If the guys are depending on you, they'll have a harder time leaving you. You know this pattern isn't healthy for you, but it's almost like a drug since it fits your own personal narrative.

But why do you do this? By going for losers, you create the relationships you feel you deserve. You trick yourself into believing that the relationship is fulfilling because the guy "needs" you. In reality you don't see yourself as a worthwhile person. You feel that these "losers" are the best you can get. As you've stated, you know your value on paper (beauty, stability, intelligence, etc), but internally it doesn't register. As a result you do not go for well adjusted guys who would be your equal. It is your fear that these guys would see you and reject you. Therefore the loser guys are a safer option.

How do you fix this? The key is building up your self esteem by knowing your own value. You need to start seeing yourself as a high quality person, a prize even. That's not to say that you should be arrogant or stuck up, but you need to start going for men who have just as much to offer you as you would to them. I find that some Libras have a hard time knowing their own internal value. You need to really start looking at what you truly want and going for it.

You're wrong!! Being alone is a trait of insecure motherfuckers. Don't blame that shit on a Sun sign. I have 3 libra placements and have never had issues of being alone. So you're talking nonsense.

She's the one who said being alone was a problem, not me. Calm down and actually read the full message. My response was:

"The issue is your own self talk. Somewhere deep down, you have the belief that there is a problem with being alone."

Don't backpedal, stupid. I read what I wanted to read. You clearly mentioned being alone is an issue for Libras. You added so many roses and honey to your bullshit that you must've forgot that part.

click to expand

What a fucking idiot! Let me block his ignorant ass-