taking some time vs. brush off

Question for you all on how you know where you stand with Libras.

Since Libras are the type to retreat for a while and "get back to you" anytime between three days and three weeks, how do you know if they are really just settling back for a bit or if they are purposely trying to give you the brush off. Are there any signs to watch for?

Maygirl, give me a few days to absorb what happened with me and the Libra and I'll be able to analyze the signs.

Thanks! I appreciate the thoughts of someone else who went through the same thing. I followed your situation, and in some regards it sounds a lot like mine (me wanting to contact him all the time, and getting frustrated that he's not calling, etc.)

You can only wait and see. If you can get them to talk about it is great. My Libra friend and I had a great heart-to-heart last night(can you believe it, he called me to talk and was very open) and had fun during the conversation. We cleared up a lot of things we didn't know the other was feeling and decided to start on a new slieght, however, he just got over a bad break up and I just recently divorced so we decided to be friends without bene's, because we still wanted eachother in our lives and it is easier without the other stuff as he admitted getting emotionally caught up and niether of us need that right now. Libras also like to know you are a good friend before getting into a relationship. So if you want a relationship, try being his friend first. Not to say this is my situation but try it.

Maygirl all you can do is wait and see.

LOL...I am not a good candidate to talk right now about Libra men. I'm just going to try to be an observer for now.

Okay, I'm waiting and seeing (and keeping my fingers crossed). We have always had a fun, friendly relationship. We'd chat for hours on lots of things, but we also had those benefits (which were always real nice!). I'd be happy to just be friends for a while because I really enjoy having him in my life.

Sitting back now and waiting (which is not easy for this Gemini girl!)

I'll keep my fingers crossed too. And remember, QueenScorpio and I will gladly beat him up if he turns out to be punk.

ABSOLUTELY, NAME THE TIME AND PLACE!!!!

I may just take you both up on that! :-)

Maygirl, sitting back waiting with a great guy like a libra is hard for anyone, trust I know. However, you will be rewarded if the interest is real for all your patience. Unlike with my current situation. When I met my ex. I saw him, he (as all the libras do) initiated the first introduction. I saw him, wanted him, and I got him, although getting him was not at all easy, I went through some of this same stuff, that is why I know what I am talking about, now after divorce can't get rid of him. He just won't let go... We have a child together and are good friends, but he keeps this hope alive for reuniting. We have gotten too far apart, too many differences and our situation is unrepairable.

So, if you want one, make sure it is what you want, because getting rid of one is even harder. Really....

I talked to my best friend about all this last night. She thinks this guy will still want to be in my life...that he's just unsure of how to approach me at this point. She asked me if I would accept him back into my life and I told her IF he does reappear, that I would tell him that I was hurt by his non-actions and inability to see me more and I would be his friend from a distance.

I don't know - maybe he will try to get in contact with me after the holiday, and likely after my surgery in early January. We'll see, but I'm not holding my breath.

So this whole "Libras take their time" and "Libras retreat as if in a bad battle" might actually be the case with all Libras.

it sure sounds like it. I know another Libra that i have known for more than 12 years now. We were together (yes, you know what I'm talking about) about 8 years ago. But we usually just drifted on and off with each other. I guess neither of us felt that real strong spark with each other. But I still talk with him every so often (although sometimes its several times a week and other times its months before we do). We still flirt with each other on occasion, but nothing else goes on. But I never felt the strong desire to contact him and want to be with him all the time that I do with this current Libra.

I'll keep you all posted.

(((Sitting back now and waiting (which is not easy for this Gemini girl!))))

i remember one gemini girl who mentioned that she gets a calculator when depressed

i will say u give him a call and ask him to come meet u asap.

Well I will give you all one guess as to who just called me.

So what did he say? How did it go? I'm wondering when my Libra calls me back if he'll be like nothing ever happened or if he will talk about this.

Libran, as much as I would love to call him and tell him to come meet me ASAP (with promises of goodies in store :-) I think I was a little too forward in one of my last messages. So I think I'm going to wait a little longer. How much longer I can hold out, I don't know! Three or four times now I've picked up my cell, clicked on his number and then hung up without going through with it.

If he is mulling things over right now, I don't want to scare him away.

Maygirl, I did the same thing (picking up the phone, calling him, but hanging up before it connected) several times until I had enough. Then all hell broke lose yesterday because of it. We know now that this is how Libras work, but if someone communicates to them that they need communication, why can't they make some effort?

Because you told him off - it leaves him paralysed...

Libra, I told him how i like to communicate well before yesterday. yesterday was the topping on a cake gone wrong.

The thing is:

Everyone falls in love in their own time and through their own 'human' process. We take longer because we don't 'have the relationship and see whether we fall in love with you or not along the way', we start the relationship because we are in love. But as you now know, the falling in love can take time. We don't act on a whim...

Consenting to sex will get you less far if you want someone to desire you, in general.

NOt sure who you are referring to with the "consenting to sex" comment, but the Libra and I never consummated.

I know HP, it was just a general statement.

If your Libra is devoted to you - he will come back. There is no doubt about that.

He will even arrange the 'accidental bump-in'...

we'll see. i wasn't expecting his phone call today. and i kept the call short on purpose. it's still too soon for me to let him know how i feel all over again. i'm sure he's still absorbing my emotional outpour.

HP74.. What did he say when he called earlier? Did you talk with him?

You now need to leave him to action - because he needs to THINK - he cannot come back to you without the famous Libra thinking process...

Then you'll know one way or another how he feels about you. This will take longer than a day...

You've dented the situation a bit - now he is nursing his wound - that'll fade (we're positive people) and then he'll feel courageous again and plan an attack. He also might need to see you once to see how you behave towards him and then at the next meeting he'll attack...

I understand your approach, but he's nursing his wound? What about mine? I truly tried and I didn't pester him up until 2 days ago. 8 weeks of not making a scene (other than complaining on here, which was better than confronting)...but I'm wounded, too.

As far as what was said: he called and asked how I was doing, etc. I answered. He addressed my text messages. One item that stands out of our conversation was he really cared for me but it's very hard to have a relationship with someone you can't see. I told him that all I was asking for was 3 to 4 hours a week. He asked how a relationship can be built in that little of time and I told him that there needs to be a starting point and every relationship starts somewhere. He said "You have a really good point".

We rambled a bit about other stuff. But that's the most significant headway made from the phone call.

I did not call my Libra and started going through severe withdrawal, but I still did it and I started feeling better after about 4 days. I sent him a quick email after 7 days to let him know I found my drivers license, I lost it the last time I visited him and he call that night. I did not expect him to call and when I emailed him, I was real short and I did not say ILY like I usually do. He called and we spoke for a while. I realized I missed him and would never get over this if I keep talking to him. I sent him a quick email the next day about this book he told me to read, nothing fancy and again I did not say ILY like I always do, he called again that night and we talked for longer. He told me I could have him, but I did not desire him enough, or if I desired him enough, I could have him (something like that, life became a blurr for about 30 seconds after that, I lost consiousness). He said, women always act like they want a man to just be their friend, but in reality they want the man to hit on them, so he was just going to start hitting on me, since that is what it seemed like I wanted. I was like a deer in headlights again. I did not know what to say... so that next day, yesterday, I wrote him an email and told him that his statement was false about my desire for him, I also said Aquarius women battle between desire and analysis and this is one of our major flaws, but that desire is pointless without a warm body in front of you... then I told him to chew on that like a cow chews cud, regurgitating and digesting it 4 times (cow=4 stomachs). He will probably be cussing me out for that one... (kidding) but I was serious. I started panicking earlier today and wanted to write back and say I was kidding or drunk or something, because I am so afraid I will scare him away. But that is just the chance I have to take. I don't know what else to do. If he does not call for weeks, I will just have to bite my tongue off, but I will deal with it. Eventually, he will call.

The wound he is nursing is not an emotional one, like yours is. It's an ego dent and he'll be going: "Sh!t, sh!t how can I undo this? It is not possible that I am not wanted."

He'll barely think about the fact that you've got a wound, too. This does not come from being selfish but from the fact that we're not emotional.

You cannot chase us away. For a moment yes, but not in the long run...

We like the conquering too much, it is that process that we are looking for...

brat, i'm sure he likes you because of your unique personality. don't fret over talking about cows. lol

The conversation seemed like it was going in the direction of "let's just be friends", but we didn't get that far because i needed to get back to work. i think i made a good point that whether people spend 3 hours a week or 3 days a week together, the point is being together getting to know each other.

We do lots of hinting to play it safe...

When we love you you cannot fuck it up...

HP74 and Libra. Thank you. You all have helped me so much to start the letting go process. Chatting with you all does make a difference. I don't think I could have done this without you all. It is interesting to hear everybody's stories about these guys. Libra.. you are really in touch with how this whole thing works. You're a great inspiration to us hopeless libralovers...

* When we love you, you cannot mess up...

(my original, much more descriptive word was removed)

Libra.."When we love you you cannot it up..."

What do you mean??

Oh! 😉

Okay, everyone says you have to leave Libra and let them contact you, but several times now I've heard some of you say after a bit with no contact, you called (usually with just a quick question or something simple, not emotional things) and the Libra called you back.

So, is there ever a time when the Libra actually wants you to call? Or maybe is unsure of making the next move, so they appreciate that you made the move first?

I will admit this...I have been leary about astrology, but so much of what people on this Libra board has said fits this guy almost completely.

It's just so hard to adjust to it because of who I am...Taurus, the sign of stubborness. We want so much to be liked and loved and get crushed when things go south.

Maygirl, here's what i can tell you now from experience regarding contacting them.

If you are going to contact them, contract them without the intent of confrontation. Are far as knowing if they want you call them, that's hard to tell. It's more about approach rather than content. I knew this but because of my personality, I did what I did.

I have learned from this experience that if they go more than a day of two of not calling you, it's something you must accept because you can't change it.

But this is REALLY true - if we've decided that we want/like/love you, then you can be a jerk - we will not care. Words mean nothing. Only my words mean something.

When I am in love and applying witch craft, so to speak, I have lots of things brewing, possible situations and encounters, and how can I make them happen.

I'll come up with good ideas, but I will then need to find the right time and that could be days/weeks/months away. That kind of thing, very cute and crafty. We are hustlers when in love. I am anyway, but I am not a player.

My libra (6 years - best friend - Now in love with his tail) never calls, that is why when he does and I actually know I should not answer because I am trying to get over these feelings, so we can go back to being friends.... I can't. I had to answer, because he rarely calls. You have to be perceptive with them. I have dealt with several libras over my life and none of them have been big callers. Very sporadically, but that does not mean they do not desire to talk to us.... and I know this to be true because I visited him 2 weeks ago, and we hung out with his male best friend and he told me he never calls him either, and suggested for me not to trip.

So you don't trip either. They just don't think like us when it comes to calling.

I am dying for you to call me but I don't dare dream of it coming true. And if you did it would be one crazy conversation becuase I obviously did not prepare for it.

I am perhaps weirder then others, not sure, but -

If I was not sure about you just yet - and you liked me and told me that you loved me I could not possibly like you back becuase I would automatically conclude that you cannot be much as a person - because you like me...

I don't know if that makes any sense to any of you and it may go a bit deeper than you care to know but we are quite insecure in love - unless this is my venus in virgo and it's just me...

So I need to decide for myself - it's highly important. But I enjoy the pondering over how you might like me...

And further on this...

There are a few things that need to be sorted in my head before I can love you, a few criteria need to be met:

- i can trust you
- you like me but don't want me too badly (aloof)
- you are popular or desired by other people
- you dress well and do not smell funny (nice would be a bonus)
- you admire me a bit for whatever reason
- i think about you often
- etc

My libra had a girl tell him she wanted to marry him in their first conversation, and was serious. He keeps reminding me of this and actually it is getting under my skin... He is still dealing with her though.. I wonder how that works.

Libra, you sound a lot like my Libra. I don't know what time he was born, so I can't say what other signs would be rising, but I know his birthday is 10/21, so I guess that makes him on the cusp of Libra and Scorpio. When someone is this close to another sign, how does that affect how they act? Is a Libra born late October different than a Libra born late September?

I know 3 libras right now. My current guy (10/21), the 12-year-friendship guy (10/3) and my brother (9/24). The two in October seem a lot alike but my brother seems a bit different than the others.

Maygirl, are you Taurus or Gemini?

Bratgirl, it's an ego trip.

See, that's movie material and we are in a non-stop movie anyway. We are highly idealistic and that moment is our wildest dream come true. It has a great impact because it is such a perfect moment. We daydream about moments like that.

Gemini. May 28. Most often when people talk about Gems they think of June girls, but us May Gems are just as fun and exciting (trust me!)

Just wondering if there was going to be another Taurus in the boat and I was going to offer you a seat. 🙂