The Libra Shadow

Libra Shadow
(From the book "Astrology for Lovers" by Liz Green)


With all that Good, True and Beautiful stuff going on, you might expect Libra's shadowy side to be Bad, False and Ugly. Actually, the Libran shadow is a little subtler than that. We might call it the Coy Maiden syndrome. Shades of it can be found in the figure of Scarlett O'Hara in Gone With the Wind. What it's about is a person in whom all that craving for love and approval has got so inflated that all human relationships become competitions where the object is to get the victim to fall in love with you. Then they're rejected, with another notch carved on the bedpost.

It's a little difficult to portray this in scenario form, because it should probably be portrayed in a novel. In fact a number of novels reflect it, not only in Scarlett O'Hara, but also in figures like Madame Bovary, and in men like Casanova (who actually existed, but made his life read like a novel anyway). What this shadow really hinges around is a series of manoeuvres, apparent in both Libran men and women, the object of which isn't sexual conquest so much as adoration. It's sort of like the line in Snow White:

Mirror, mirror on the wall,
Who's the fairest one of all?


And to the Libran shadow, everybody else is a mirror.

To accomplish these ends, the Libran shadow draws on all of Libra's best qualities. The charm, the flirtatiousness, the gift of flattery, the instinctive knowledge of what the other person thinks and wants - all are put to the service of the shadow. When you're being charmed by one of these Librans, be terribly careful. They have a unique talent for seeming to believe you're the only one. They make little wistful sounds like, 'It would be wonderful if we can go away together??_But I know it will never be possible.' They display a real genius for taking one step forward and two backward - for if you show too much enthusiasm, you're suddenly confronted with the evasiveness and chilliness which are also air characteristics and which Libra can wield very effectively. It's known in the trade as playing hard to get, and nobody can play it as well as the Coy Maiden which is Libra's shadow. They also display an impressive ability to convince you that you're the only man/woman who can really fire up their nascent sexuality hiding beneath all that cool, aesthetic distance.

Lovely stuff.

The trouble is that not a word of it means anything, because there's no real feeling in it. The Libran who falls into his shadow like this won't usually recognize consciously what he's doing, because it would be too painful - he'd have to face the fact that he has a shadow, which everyone has in one way or another, but which isn't a welcome fact of life for idealistic Libra. Usually, while he's playing Coy Maiden (and Libran men do this brilliantly as well as Libran women) he'll convince himself that he's really interested in you. But it's curious how quickly all that attentiveness disintegrates into pale cool wisps the moment you're actually available. That's not really what the game's about. And the Libran shadow, in true Scarlett O'Hara fashion, is quite capable of starting quarrels among the competitors, just to get a little excitement generated. Playing one person off against another is common fare for the Libran shadow. It takes the form of either a casual mention - 'Oh, John was all over me at the party, he kept trying to convince me to leave you and go away with him. It was hard to say no, he's very handsome, after all.' Or a deliberate although unconscious arrangement where one competitor bumps into the other leaving/entering the flat, or dates are confused where two people arrive at once, or??_. Well, you know the game. When you're embroiled in it, it's extremely painful. When you're the Libran who's got so insecure that you have to use your gifts of relationship to manipulate people in this way, it's very flattering. And when you're the observer, well, perhaps you feel a mixture of compassion and disgust, depending on your viewpoint.

What is it really about? Well, it stems, in part, from Libra's craving for approval. The need for affection and acceptance from others is a basic Libran need, and is most obvious in the fact that Librans usually hate being alone. They want and need companionship, not only of the romantic kind, but of the friendship kind as well. This game of flirtation and competition isn't only limited to sexual encounters. Librans do it to their friends, their business partners, even their parents. It's universal and isn't only limited to sexual insecurity.

The only way Libra can confront his shadow is to first see it in operation, reflect on how it feels to be put in the situation oneself, consider the fairness (since nothing ever penetrates a Libra's mind without having relevance to his principles) of it, and try to like himself a little more, so that he doesn't depend on an entire army of admirers to do his liking for him. Which gets us down to the nub of it: Libra's tendency to esteem himself too little and others too much. The Coy Maiden is the inevitable result of somebody who's just too insecure to believe one lover, one friend, is enough to convince him he's lovable.

The other reason for this curious game is Libra's tendency to identify with and sympathize so much with the opposite sex. Many Librans, as a result, question their own sexuality. Like Gemini, another sign which is concerned with opposites, Libra often feels dissociated from its own sex. This can be especially so because Libra is a refined sign, and the cruder aspects of both masculinity and femininity can be offensive. But to dissociate from one's own sex means paying a price; and the price is a vague feeling of sexual insecurity. Besides, being as mind-oriented as they are, Librans aren't always comfortable with their bodies, and often feel unattractive or ugly because some little thing isn't exactly right. So everyone else becomes a mirror, to convince Libra that he's the fairest one of all.

Even Alexander had that problem. So, too, old Napoleon, a Leo with Libra on the ascendant. So have many other famous Librans both in the arts and in the world of politics - the two spheres where you most find them.

The Libran shadow isn't after all, Bad, False and Ugly. But it can be a little too Good, too True and too Beautiful for its own good. Anybody playing the role finds very quickly, too, that you have to keep moving from admirer to admirer, because if you stay too long with one, the mirror might suddenly wake up one morning really sick of saying, 'You're the fairest of them all,' and say something distressing like, 'What are you really like?' Then the game's up, and Libra has to confront a real relationship. Which is, after all, what his journey's truly about.

The virgo shadow seemed spot on. Well, she's a Virgo so she probably had a better grasp of some of the signs than others.

A little exaggerated but I see some truth in this. I can see if someone has a Libra in Venus placement this bieng a more accurate of an observation.