Weakness and Loneliness

K... My libra friend who got back with his ex the sag. has been calling and sending texts to me for the past 3 weeks and most I have been ignoring. Finally, he called this past Sat. I was on my way to a comedy show with a girl friend of mine, then he called later that night. I was home alone. Remember, I have been very lonely feeling lately and trying to avoid him because of that.

Anyway, we talked. He said they broke up, blah, blah, blah. He said, I am hurt and need my buddy to help me figure this out. I haven't seen you in a long time, miss you. Lets go for a drink. I said OK. A couple of drinks later, we ended up taring eachothers clothes off almost before we got in his house. You know the rest.... It was more intense than ever. I took it as we both were lonely and weak. I haven't talked to him since he called tonight. I didn't answer....

I am bumbed.

Well you are probably right on there about both of your emotional states. What I would do is call him, rather than waiting for him to call and explain what you just explained to us. Tell him that you have been lonely lately and that led to your romp in the sack. We don't know weather or not you would entertain seeing him again, and honestly I don't know if you are sure yourself. So I think the best thing to do is just open the communication. It is important that you initiate it because if he does, he will lose sight of what you are saying and wonder if you are sayin it because he is pushing you, which will just confuse him and you even more.

QS.. Why be bummed? I have been exactly where you are but with a Gem many years ago. Eventually you will get tired and mentally exhausted, especially when he goes crawling back to her again... the pattern is viscous and it won't end until you stop it. I had to move to another city to get away from my guy, but during the 3-years I dealt with him I just decided that I liked his company and the time we spent together even if it was just going to be a sexual thing. Recognize and accept it for what it is and move on. Don't get your feelings involved and you won't get hurt. Eventually, you will even take control back from him and will only want to see him when YOU want "it", instead at his whim. Until then, no need to be down. Just enjoy what you get out of your time together. Your life will be a lot easier that way. Please do keep dating though.. you don't want to be a ?woman in waiting? forever.

"Don't get your feelings involved and you won't get hurt."

Ummm....you do realize your talking to a Scorpio woman right?

Aqua,
Ofcourse I enjoyed every bit of it. I can care less if he goes back to his girl or not. I am bummed because now things have changed for me. I am not happy with just shagging and I am not at that "not wanting a relationship" stage anymore, maybe because I am lonely or because I have just passed that stage. However, I fear that these intense, but wonderful animal attraction episodes we have can destroy our friendship, which is most important to me. I didn't want to shag him again and things get more messy. Him get emotional about me again and I eventually get that way about him and it ends up a mess. I know you understand.

He also stated while having drinks that he think their relationship stems from him feeling guilty and she needs him. That my stregnth and being there has made him think about what he is doing to himself as well as her and that he really appreciates me for that. He said he knows I am not ready to date (I haven't told him I was thinking about it)and just left it at that. I didn't respond just looked at him, smiled and rubbed his shoulder.

Nic, I will talk to him when I am ready. I am emotional about my life in general right now and don't want to be any emotional state period when I do talk to him. I don't think he will call back anytime soon since I didn't return his call, which will give me time to put my emotional life in prospective.

Queenscorpio,

Thats fine, the timming is up to you. My point was that I think it would be better if you called him, when isn't so much important. I just know that if he calls you and you open up about it he will think you are reacting instead of acting.

Queenscorp, are you looking for a commitment from this Libra?

(((QS)))

It is just a mood. It will pass.

Nic, I get it, thanks. I will soon.

Libra, no, I am not looking for a commitment from him. I think he would be incapable of a commitment with anyone at this time, because of his fickleness with the ex. I am thinking I am ready for a relationship try out with someone else, not sure who yet... Just tired of the friends w/ benes - it is getting kinda old for me. I am just in another place, or maybe like LS is saying a lonely mood, maybe it will pass, but right now, I feel I want someone to spend time with other than the shagging with a possibility of something more. I am not quite ready to jump right into a relationship, but possibly leading up to one.

I wasn't feeling like this at all a month ago. Shagging and no commitment was fine with me. Didn't want a relationship at all. Now I kinda do. Wish I could without any drama...

I have been seeing, yet another Libra, I know, I didn't know he was until after a couple dates though. I need to ask people's sign as soon as I meet them. This will probably wind up being another Libra platonic friend, but who knows with the advice on here and the things I have learned about Libras it could be more.

He is really nice, but I am taking it extremely slow. No chasing, and waiting for him to act first for the most part.

Bummin...

Dating is hard.

The very few times that I have met guys who were compatible with me, where we could have had something longer term, I have felt like I have been standing around waiting for something to start because they haven't been in the right mindset. Timing is everything. And boy does it suck.

Just keep going out, meeting guys, and having fun. Eventually one the them will stick. That is my theory anyway. Just don't ask, "how is that workin' for you?" lol!

I don't do the "friends with benefits" because I really don't know what that means. I casually date and it will either work out or not.

(and the whole not knowing where your next shag is coming from grates after awhile.)

LS, "Just don't ask,"how is that working for you".

I don't quite understand what that means....

You are right timing is everything. If things were different I could sort of see me and my friend the libra trying something. We are already good friends.

Not knowing where your next shag is coming from is the pits. I must admit. I have to have some type of attraction to shag a guy. Like some woman, I can't just shag to be shaggin.

I do appreciate you guys being here though. Great place to vent....

I am sure when I am 100 percent sure in myself to date again a decent guy will step up to the plate. It is funny to get hit on everyday and still be single.