r rated horrorscope just for fun

Aries (March 21- April-19)

LIVES for head massages. ANY part of their head: Lips, Eyelids, Eyes, Tongue, you name it! Aries also likes to fuck in public places during business hours. You need to be open minded with an Aries...If you don't feel like being duct taped to a wall and beaten with live ferrets: Tell Them. Be warned! IF you don't want to be kinky, don't be with an Aries. If you say 'No' too often to them you may lose them as a lover forever.
Aries Idea of Heaven Is: Participating in live sex shows for money. Having their favorite human toy win first place in a pony boy/girl race. Fucking as an art form on display in a gallery. They secretly crave to be strippers or Annie Sprinkle. Aries LIVES to be jealous...they also like to coordinate other people fucking. Secretly desire to be fluffers. Aries owned a Violet Wand before it was popular. They are also Sadists.
The best gift to give an Aries is designer colored nylon rope in their favorite color. They live to tease and torture...HEY...Somebody's gotta do it, right? They like hair pulling. Beware of their 'toy' collections. Don't tease them...they will rape you. They love pony boys and girls...I cannot emphasize this enough! They like it doggie style especially if they are steering. Give an Aries 100 feet of rope and a 250 dollar flogger, they will follow. As long as they get to be the one holding the handle.

🙂

I NEED to know once and for all! The "head-thing" is it really REALLY true??

Oh, the rest of it IS (and I repeat; IIIIIISSSSSSS) true
Uhu, yeaeaeaeah, hmmhmmMMmmmm, aha, yep yep!

Only... the ferret turned out to be a tiger
Uhu, yeaeaeaeah, hmmhmmMMmmmm, aha, yep yep!

Oh, and they also have a "you're so freakin' innocent I wanna fuck your brains out and pervert you completely"-fetish

"you're so freakin' innocent I wanna your brains out and pervert you completely"-fetish

Now, that... is sexy =)

TOTALY TRUE

secretly want to be a stripper..did i say that outloud??..that is a true statement..thats why i'm such a tease..lol..but seriously i don't want to be a striper..but i wish i could be..if you get what i mean..