What Ive learnt from Librans

OK most of you know my story...yeah yeah a Leo in love with a Libra male...

Well I think its a wonderful combination, that Leo drive and spontaneity which complements the Libran indecisiveness and care & thought to detail.

Ive come to learn (and I know quite a few Libran males now) that they need their space, loads of time to get their Sheeeet together, I dont believe all Librans fall in love straight away, it takes them a long, long, long time (too long for many) to make up their minds (theres that indecisiveness). If you're not ready for the long haul, the rollercoasters, the distance and all those things that go along with it? save yourselves straight away. If you want that committed relationship in a hurry that Libra may not be the one.

Theyre unbelievably intelligent, helpful, sincere and yeah loyal (believe it or not) and they'd do anything for their friends...their persona when you're around them? utterly magical (if you're in love with one) but they like their space, their own time and their own life....it doesnt mean that they're shagging everything on 2 legs. If they've hurt you and realise it? OMG it hurts them 2 fold and they beat themselves up more than you can imagine...Ive witnessed this on a few ocassions now.

If you let them go and they love you? they will be back, perhaps not as you'd hoped but they'll always come back...they hate to lose a love or a good friend...time is an unbelievable healer and who knows? they may actually come back in love with you LOL.

So many times the subject of whose perfect for a Libra has arisen on this board and to be honest I dont think there is a perfect SIGN as such, I believe it has to do with a lot of different things, i.e. where you both are at that time, if one isn't ready for a r/ship? its never going to work, the other has to accept that and either walk away or just give them their space (but they may need a lot of space and time and then there's no guarantee things will work out).

Treat them with respect, be their REAL friend/s and enjoy what they can bring into your lives because the friendship of a Libra, a real Libra, is 2nd to none. Above all be honest with them because they do live their lives in fantasy world quite a lot.

In regard to a FWB scenario? Dont expect him to commit just because you're sleeping together....Librans can make love to whoever and not have feelings for them, although, unless its a prostitute? they'd have to feel SOMETHING to be with that

person in the first place. If you find yourself being with one of these guys and its purely for sex for months on end? it probably only ever will be for that one thing. If he's not taking you out, meeting his friends/family? you probably never will.

So many women (and in particular Leos of late, WTF is with that?? LOL) come on here and say they've been in intimate r/ships with these guys and then whinge and whine because they won't commit, dont you think its best you'd have discussed the situation with that man before being in such a relationship without any future plans? If its been going on for months/years, do you think one day he will suddenly develop feelings he didnt have before? Its probably best you cut your losses and walk away if you are after somebody more permanent in your life.



I did this, I stayed with my Libra for a year, did it his way, hoped he'd commit but at the end of the day by giving him what he wanted/needed, i wasnt doing myself any favours so I cut myself off....it hurt, hell did it hurt but 8 months of silence and then one day he suddenly popped back into my life....he'd done his thinking, he'd had his solitude and I imagine he missed me in some aspects so long story short, we chatted about things, old times, how things would be in the future, and I knew he was hunting/fishing as to whether we could pick up where we left off but I also realised that I couldnt do that to myself again because I still have feelings for him so I have cut him loose again...its now been a month...yes I know he'll be back when he's ready but he also knows what he has to do to be in my life....that will take a lot from his part...whether he can? who knows..watch this space LOL.

BUT what Im saying is...if you dont have the patience to see it through, please do yourselves a huge favour and move forward, leave them behind, give them the gift of missing you....its an unbelievably wonderful gift to be honest....Im sure you all know the good old saying "you dont know what you have til its gone"? well that rings true in these situations, not only with Librans, but all signs.

You see, women give these guys what they want without asking for anything in return, why would you do that? why wouldnt you want that committed relationship? why would you feel that low about yourself that you dont deserve better?

Leos in particular, we are so loyal, so giving and forgiving, and if your Libra isnt the committing kind? he'll milk that BUT he WONT want to hurt you - to know he's doing that? would hurt him also....

If your guy says he's not ready, believe him, dont think you'll be the one who can change him coz he speaks the truth.

By all means wait it out but please dont come on here to bag these guys....they're not out to get you, they're merely being a male LOL. If you want to give them sex, they're going to take it, but if that special woman comes along (when he's said he's not ready to be with you), he'll choose her over you anyday.....they love the challenge, the chase and a woman who can hold out? much more fun than a woman that gives it all so freely.

This is what I have learnt.

For all you Leos on here at the moment who are struggling with this combo? Think about it.

Oh and they hate drama, they like things simple and easy and a happy environment, they hate confrontation but love the truth....please be honest with him as to how you feel...if he feels you're getting too close and he's not there? he'll do the right thing and tell you and/or walk away himself. Dont hide behind "yeah Im enjoying this too, no strings attached stuff" coz you're not being honest with yourself and certainly not to him.

Enjoy life, date others and go out and have fun....dont ever sit waiting for one of these guys, that turns them off....they love women who have their stuff together, have their own lives and are keeping busy.....

As Little Sparrow has said so many times...'go where it is easy' and if the "r/ship" isn't easy with a Libra? move on, find somebody who will give you what you are looking for.

End of preach LOL

WOW :o so I was coming on here to write somewhat of the same topic, except it was going to called "Libras & Why We Can't Be" LOL I agree with a lot that you have written here Chatz. I believe most will. In my relationship with my one and only Libra, they value someone who has no judgments towards them whatsoever. If you do, they appreciate your opinion but hate if you try to change them to reflect what you want. They want someone who is a friend BEFORE a lover. SO important being as social as they are. I don't know if my Libra ex and I will ever be together again, but I am glad that I met him. I've learned alot about what I do and don't want in a relationship b/c of him. More than that I value that I could ALWAYS be me. Chatz thank you for posting. I think alot of the posts I've read on "Why a Libra man is being difficult/distant/indecisive/etc" can find good answers here. It helped me understand a little more so thanks! 😉

Hehehe anytime....and yes, I too am unbelievably grateful that I met my LIbra friend (yes we are stil friends but it cant be that we can see eachother as we both know where that will end up LOL)....for now, this is how it has to be.

My Libra taught me so much, patience for a start (I had none before) and he learnt forgiveness and how I could forgive him for how he treated me, he still cant understand LOL....but that is a Leo trait. Normally I'd hate somebody forever for what has gone down but for some reason this man has come into my life for so many reasons I'll never understand and yes, I am still in love with him (more now since we've been apart than before)....

It upsets me to see so many people on here of late that come on here to "bash" the Librans and to vent their anger.....yes one can be angry, hurt, miserable, etc and seek advice but to just give such horrid advice and be so vengeful? argghhh!!!

I stumbled upon this board when I needed to understand my Libra...it helped so much from some of the loveliest people on here (most dont come on anymore which is a shame) but I am so very grateful...they know who they are 🙂

Ahhh "Patience". That's one I forgot to mention! Man was I bad at that. Still trying to work on it, but I must say I have improved b/c of him too. It was as if everything that he put me through was just to learn that in the first place LOL I don't know if it's so much a Leo trait to forgive as it is a characteristic depending on whom we are forgiving. I forgave my Libra a thousand times if not more, I lost count, LOL . One thing I will say though that I always found strange is that common sense hardly showed itself with him yet he was intelligently logical about everything else except the obvious. Maybe this was the "over analytical" chip that most astro sites talk about! Anyway how have YOU been dealing with not being with ex Libra? I've been trying to get into new subjects that I have always been interested in. Ex. I am about to begin taking photography courses (always wanted to never had the time). Very excited!

How have I dealt with it? Hmmmm ok at the time (very early on when I broke it off), there was a chance of promotion yet I was that unhappy/miserable that I let that chance slip me by but as the months went on I had another chance and finally truly let him go (thats when he came back by the way LOL), I received an amazing promotion and put myself through a university course here in Oz....Ive learnt so much from these 2 steps, and I kept incredibly busy...believe me though, I had some horrible dark nights, didnt know if I could breathe at some points LOL....but again, time is an amazing thing.

Being away from him has taught me a lot and I know that he feels the same...he hasnt been with anybody since..THAT I do know and he even mentioned it some weeks back (why? I dont know, I wasnt looking for that kind of information, in fact I didnt want to get into that part of our lives coz I wont ask questions I dont want the answers to - he just gave me the info...again why? I dont know). He kept asking if I'd moved on but of course he knew I wouldnt have....

I also started dating a couple of guys (another Libra and a Cappy)...the Libra wasnt what I was looking for but he took the edge off of missing my Libra and Cappy? well we have been friends for years and we will remain that way - funny that, I can remain friends with him after dating and yeah, getting intimate but I can't forget Libra....what's with that?? LOL I guess its true love on my side, and from his side? well he misses something about me or he'd not have made contact but again, I couldnt put myself through the casual thing and him and I knew that's where it would have headed again.

I guess keeping busy (and yeah its easier said than done and I hate it when people say that LOL) has been my saviour and the fact I absolutely LOVE my job helps a lot. It was a bit of information overload taking a new job and studying but Ive come through it and got my diploma (which I told him about and he's very proud hehehehe)....He said he'd changed but I didnt ask him in what way....guess thats for him to show me yet, if in fact he has changed but I dont know whether 8 months can do that to anybody to be honest.

I dont know, its just a case of rolling with the tides...I still have some very interesting times where Im tempted to write to him or text him but I havent made that step....Im sure he was/is expecting it (as I'd always done in the past) but Ive had to show him that Im the stronger

one this time and won't accept anything but the real thing.

The problem with my Libra is that he thinks all women are like his ex (he hasnt been with anybody r/ship wise for over 3 years) and he spends all his spare time on singles sites....not so much anymore but every night he'll be on there until its bedtime...this saddens me because I know he doesnt meet them but to be continually looking for something is sad....he is very sad and I wished I could have helped him....I think thats the biggest thing he misses, my empathy and my sincerity, you see as I have heard from so many men, those sites are riddled with women who are psycho and looking for somebody to save them but why he chooses that rather than the real thing? I dont know, he's scared of something but at the end of the day the clock is ticking and he's not getting any younger.....3 years is a long time to be doing that day in day out and yes I know about the Libra addiction thing....it is just that but so sad....

I miss him more than anything but it was my choice to sever the f/ship with him (for now anyway, while I have those feelings)...who knows? perhaps some day we can just be friends and hang out and not lead to sex LOL.....who knows.

I wish you well with how you deal with your situation...it isnt easy when you love one of these but yeah patience has been my biggest lesson.

So for me anyway, I must keep focussed on what is ahead, not look at the past...its not healthy coz I put myself where it was only happy but OMG there were some terribly sad times in amongst my time with Libra.

Forgiveness? its amazing isnt it? At least Im not eating myself up coz of hatred.

Unconditional Love? yep, sad but true LOL

Chatz I SWEAR we were living the SAME life. When my Libra broke up with me,I had quit my job, I became depressed. It was an awful time for me, but I'm glad I got through it. Thank God I have goals LOL It was HARD but I got through. Keeping busy IS key to getting over these guys LOL Now I'm handling school AND work!! I love it though One thing though; I have yet to date any other guy. The Libra keeps showing up every time I've tried to stop seeing him intimately, and saying things like, "lets take it day by day" but he still doesn't want a relationship so I feel trapped. I am very close to letting him go officially b/c I feel like it's going nowhere. I know what I want and it's not fair to either of us. His friendship would mean a whole lot more to me than for us to be together.

"He is very sad and I wished I could have helped him....I think thats the biggest thing he misses, my empathy and my sincerity, you see as I have heard from so many men, those sites are riddled with women who are psycho and looking for somebody to save them but why he chooses that rather than the real thing? I don't know, he's scared of something but at the end of the day the clock is ticking and he's not getting any younger.....3 years is a long time to be doing that day in day out and yes I know about the Libra addiction thing....it is just that but so sad...."

Oh man that IS sad. They like to "fix" things. Situations, people, machines, you name it, they'll fix it LOL I don't know what it is either...Also, I think they are AFRAID of not choosing the right option. I believe The Libran said it best. Something like "weighing out all the options and factors before coming to a decision" Maybe he's seeing who else is out there. Who compares to you? (I think no one LOL) It comes from making the right choice.

Leokitten: True. It IS applicable to ALL men. But I think after dating a Leo, a Sag and a Libra, by FAR the Libra has to be the most complicated of all LOL. I don't believe astrology dictates all that is good and bad b/t people but it is a very strong factor is what attracts and what doesn't. Compatibility is about more than just your sun sign. I have air signs in the most important planets of my chart and those planets fall in important houses of his chart which I think is a partial reason why my Libra can't let go of me. I am both emotional AND logical. I feel first, and I get dramatic and analyze later. He just disappears to analyze and feel later. Yo can imagine the confrontations. This where I need patience in my life LOL Anyway, I agree women AND men should ALWAYS set their values front and center. Once you see those values aren't being respected, it's easier to walk away. I didn't do this the first time with him, but I've learned and now I know what I want even more.

Chatz, your post is making me tear up cuz it so damn true. Right now I know he hates me and that is what I want him to feel for me so he can stay away and hate me forever.

LOL going on site to see if there's anything better? hmmm well he's been doing it for over 3 years, you'd think he'd have found something better by now wouldnt you? LOL

Seriously over the past 2 years Ive known him? thats all he does, he doesnt go out (the only time he went out was to see me) and I never understood that while he was seeing me he'd be on them......I know he wasnt doing anything (maybe online sex but sheesh does anybody really get off on that stuff?), seeing others, etc but WTF?

Anyway, Im moving along with my life and he knows what he has to do should he wish to come back, but I made it clear to him what I will and wont accept in my life anymore...did it his way, it didnt work. Now its my way or no way at all 🙂 And there were no ultimatums, its just the way it is and NOBODY should be expected to accept less than a proper relationship, especially when they've been seeing that person for a year.

I will always care for him, probably always love him but I have to keep walking and if somebody better comes along? so be it, then him and i were never meant to be.

Capris, why would you want him to hate you? Wouldnt that eat you alive knowing somebody hates you? Oh and I dont think Librans can actually hate as such.....just be thankful you had him in your life, that you've learnt some very valuable lessons, turn away, smile and walk ahead. Who knows what the future brings?

🙂

Hehehe thank you and thank you for all your support in the past.

I could never tell him he was, well, I did come close in fact I wrote him the most gut wrenching email back in November last year and when we caught up 6 weeks ago? he thanked me for my honesty and said "I took everything you said on board and I am a changed man"....well I havent seen the change but hopefully he's continuing to evolve and maybe some other woman will reap the rewards - I hope so, I truly wish him well even if he doesnt see me as "the one".

And yeah I had to write how I felt about everything so that others on here might realise its not the place to come and vent as such (venting is good but its how you do it that matters) and abuse.

There seem to be a lot of Leo/Libra combos on here looking for guidance/help/support - guess Ive been down that road and just wanted to help if I could 🙂

excellent, sweetie----and right on.

Excellent Posts Chatz!

* If you do, they appreciate your opinion but hate if you try to change them to reflect what you want.

Who wants to change for someone else? Everyone wants to be accepted for who they are. If you need to change the other person to suit YOU, you are in love with their potential not them. (Plus, you set up a weird power dynamic because no one can change another. It comes off as really controlling, manipulative, and selfish, but I won?_t get into that ??cause I think it is fairly self-evident.)

* I stumbled upon this board when I needed to understand my Libra...it helped so much from some of the loveliest people on here (most dont come on anymore which is a shame) but I am so very grateful...they know who they are.

Yeah. It is a real shame. I pop in every now and then to see if any of them have reported in. It was a good crew. I think all the bullcrap that has gone on with angry, vengeful people who just don?_t listen drove most of them away.

Still, it was a wonderful time and we met many wonderful people didn't we?

Maybe I will do what a "what I learned from Leo" post for you Leo folks out there. I have said many times that Leos have been my greatest teachers. (I?_ll leave out all the sex bits though. hee!)

Capris

It really isn't in my nature to hate anyone. I can get angry or irritated with people, but eventually I go back to loving them and wanting the best for them. It doesn?_t mean I always want them in my life, but I DO want them to be happy, healthy, and joyous.

* We are a masculine sign which makes me laugh sometimes. I could not be more female, but my own mind works in a sort of masculine way.

hee! Me too!

My topic is "What I've learned from Chatz."

Awwww thats just beautiful 🙂

So nice to see a true love story on here...so nice!!!

Enjoy every moment....as we all know, you have come such a long way yourself 🙂