Why do Libra men go hot and cold..?

Been with this younger libra male for over a year now. Some days he cant imagine life without me and will do anything for me to stay and some days hes just gone quiet. I've read that libra needs their time alone and i do respect that.. in the begining he would disappear for a whole week and then got less and less till no more disappearing. Then just lately he had disappeared again for 2wks! So i assumed he was done but dont have the courage to say so. But when he came came back, he's intense again... wth!

I would love to know the answer to this question!

Because they have no fucking idea what they want 99% of the time. They THINK they do, but then the rose colored glasses slip down their nose a bit and they realize that all is not what it seemed in their fantasy.

In your example, dude isn't that into you. Guys who are into you don't just up and disappear. Guys who are hot and cold aren't relationship material.

Move on.

Posted by dolluxe
@Mike79

You know the libra male is really not a bad man. The more in love they are the more they demonstrate it the more they come around, now they do need their time and space to recharge and allowing them to feel free gives them all they need in a relationship. There are times when he may stay away due to personal issues which are usually sorted alone, this type of man is not for every woman, Especially for those who need daily constant attention. These men do love beauty and some of them even tend to roam from relationship to relationship during a period of their life, they are always seeking the perfect relationship the perfect partner the perfect lover. Scales can affect us in many ways and one day we may want something but after overthinking we realize that we need something else. Patience is what our partner must have in order to understand us & if the woman lacks this quality then it's never going to work. We like to do things at our pace keep that in mind. If this man really loves you and feels that he is going to lose you then He will fight for you in order to keep you in his life.

I'm in the same situation. He's there years younger than me. Well, it's an ldr. I pretty much took his coldness as him losing interest - which i didn't bring up to him. I only felt it in the way he'd act and speak to me. Until one day, I saw a dating profile online of his and brought it up to him. Spoke to him in a civil and calm manner; didn't raise my voice; made my point at how disappointed i was, but i hung up on him. He tried calling me back twice, but I ignored it. I was so mad and livid that i couldn't talk to him. I usually don't like talking to people when I'm that mad. I allow myself to cool down, then I'll speak to them when I'm ready.

Anyhow, 5 days have gone by without hearing from him. Yesterday, I asked through text if i could speak to him the next day (texted him from work); just a short and simple text. He is ignoring my text and hasn't responded. So at this point, I'm just trying to emotionally move on.

My point is. He came on so awesome and strong in the beginning, then he fizzled out. My first time dating a Libra man. Anyway, it's been a lot to take in.

I'm a Gemini♊ sun, Cancer♋ moon, Capricorn♑ rising.

He's a Libra sun♎, Gemini♊ moon, Cancer♋rising.

Toodles! ?

Posted by emerald_dreams
I'm in the same situation. He's there years younger than me. Well, it's an ldr. I pretty much took his coldness as him losing interest - which i didn't bring up to him. I only felt it in the way he'd act and speak to me. Until one day, I saw a dating profile online of his and brought it up to him. Spoke to him in a civil and calm manner; didn't raise my voice; made my point at how disappointed i was, but i hung up on him. He tried calling me back twice, but I ignored it. I was so mad and livid that i couldn't talk to him. I usually don't like talking to people when I'm that mad. I allow myself to cool down, then I'll speak to them when I'm ready.

Anyhow, 5 days have gone by without hearing from him. Yesterday, I asked through text if i could speak to him the next day (texted him from work); just a short and simple text. He is ignoring my text and hasn't responded. So at this point, I'm just trying to emotionally move on.

My point is. He came on so awesome and strong in the beginning, then he fizzled out. My first time dating a Libra man. Anyway, it's been a lot to take in.

I'm a Gemini♊ sun, Cancer♋ moon, Capricorn♑ rising.

He's a Libra sun♎, Gemini♊ moon, Cancer♋rising.

Toodles! ?

This is a typical MO you'll see repeated over and over about Libras.

Thank you all for the great advices. I appreciate specially Mike79. I personally think Libras are nice. At least the ones i have encountered were.. i've done a lot of research about libra male so i could understand this sign better and tried to be more flexible to fit his personal need for space. We are literally inseparable. We broke up too many times to count but we keep bouncing back to each other..

The disappearing has stopped ages ago til just suddenly this recent one. I assumed it could be because someone or even something has caught his attention.. But eventually bounced back at me again... to be fair on him, we used to work part time together and then he started a full time one. He said hes just busy at work atm, which is fine. Being the older one, i try to give him the space he needs without questioning him. I think he likes the fact that i dont hover around his business.

Also, being the older one, i never stopped him from looking around for potentially a better one as long as he's honest about it. But sometimes i think hes hesitant to tell me if there is someone because he knows i wouldnt stay in a three way relationship...

I think he would like to try the whats out there for him but not quite ready to lose me for good.. i think...

Emerald_dreams, goodluck figuring them out.. lol there are times we may think we've figured them out and then they go all misterious again. Lol. I think i love and hate that about them.. lol..

What's your age difference?

Hes 23 and i am 34...

Posted by Virgo0915
Hes 23 and i am 34...

That is a significant age gap. 23 year old is the equivalent of dating a 20 year old. Just not grown up enough to handle a thirty something mentally and emotionally. Sexual chemistry is probably very strong between you both.

If a man is in and out then he isn't that into you least not enough to be consistent but what surprises me is that women stay with these ambivalent men for sometimes years, life is too short.

Never in a million years i ever thought i'd fall for guys this age. I normally would prefer an older and mature men. He acts a lot more mature when we are together. Its doomed. Which is why as much i love him a lot, i want him to enjoy his youth, look around and find someone more suited for himself.

Its obviously easier said than done specially when feelings and emotions are invested into it. I genuinely just want him to be happy whether its me or with someone else...

I've broken up with him last night but he probably thinks its just one of those past breakups we had that never really have succeeded... it may or may not succeed but this relationship really is a hard one to break. Or maybe im just this bug trapped into a spider's web....

I am in a similar LDR situation, but with a Leo Sun/Libra moon. I am 34 and he is 25. But the thing is that he told me from the beginning that he is bad at communicating (his friends and family complain about that a lot). He also has social anxiety and shakes when we are together. When we met a year ago, he was just getting over a 5-year relationship.

I get the feeling that he likes me very much but his anxiety kicks in and he feels intimidated by an older, successful woman. Men who are in their mid-20s are still trying to figure themselves out. Heck, at 23, he is barely an adult male. I've known mine for a year and see a big difference in his personality this year compared to last year.

At this point, I feel like it is two steps forward and one step back with him.

Posted by Virgo0915
Never in a million years i ever thought i'd fall for guys this age. I normally would prefer an older and mature men. He acts a lot more mature when we are together. Its doomed. Which is why as much i love him a lot, i want him to enjoy his youth, look around and find someone more suited for himself.

Its obviously easier said than done specially when feelings and emotions are invested into it. I genuinely just want him to be happy whether its me or with someone else...

I've broken up with him last night but he probably thinks its just one of those past breakups we had that never really have succeeded... it may or may not succeed but this relationship really is a hard one to break. Or maybe im just this bug trapped into a spider's web....

Interesting. I have also always been interested in (much) older men, until I turned 31 and after a couple of bad relationships with men in their mid-40s. I wonder what happens to women after age 30 and they start being interested in younger guys.

I read once that women reach their sexual peak at 30, men at 18. I'm not surprised that your chemistry is strong. Our brains however don't stop growing until our mid twenties. He's not ready for what you are now looking for. You did the right thing.

Lol, ikr? Maybe we got fed up of taking life serious which makes us more attracted to the young ones who could kinda balance both fun and serious...

I've known mine since he was 21. Nearly 2yrs with him and i've seen him grow up becoming a man. He doesnt act like a boy when we are together. Most often than not, we both forget theres even an age gap tbh.

Initially, he was distant and has his walls in between us. Its hardwork but rewarding to see his walls breakdown eventually. He's naturally a quiet and awkwark but gentleman and caring kind. I once told him how he was one hard nut to crack and he said "and yet u did" ?

Gotta have almost unlimited patience tho. Libra's being air sign is hard enough to pin down. Let alone a young one...

I guess being a virgo myself i cannot help but be practical and realistic... at the end of the day, i just want him to find the right one and be happy...

@ Virgo0915 This is the first time I date one, but i feel like its the end for some reason. He lives in a totally different state. I haven't tried to contact him, and him not contacting me really feels like he's made his choice. I REEAAALLLY liked him though. Oh well. :/

He's the first young lad for me as well.. how long has it been since u last heard from him? Sometimes they do have to disappear to think, to recharge or something... then after a day or so sometime even a week or more depends on how he feels for u.. when mine used to disappear for like a week max, it drove me insane wondering what was up. But after a while of similar disappearance routine, i have figured it out. When he wants to disappear, the last thing u wanna do is chase him back... he's an air sign, let him fly and be free and wonder around. He'll soon miss u and make the contact 😉

Ladies, ladies, the best thing to do is focus on yourself and show them what a fun and interesting person you are. Sometimes I feel like we expect too much from these young guys, who barely know themselves well enough let alone trying to figure a woman out.

I know it is easier said than done and I should give said advice to myself as well, but really focusing on ourselves and our lives will work out for the best, whether with these guys or with others.

By the way I am a Libra sun and he is a Libra moon so technically we should really get each other and instinctively I sort of do.

I agree Lotus. These guys needs women who has their own life going and not making them their world. Their space is crucial for them.

We need time to recollect ourselves mentally because we are very commonly extremely insecure and spirtuality and mentality is so hard for us to maintain. He probably doesn't mean any harm, just a routine re-gathering of sense of self and time gives us time to think and weigh things out. It is very normal I infact do this I am not proud of it,,, but what can I say aha.

Posted by Virgo0915
Hes 23 and i am 34...

Oh honey, run the hell away. It's not worth it.

Posted by Virgo0915
He's the first young lad for me as well.. how long has it been since u last heard from him? Sometimes they do have to disappear to think, to recharge or something... then after a day or so sometime even a week or more depends on how he feels for u.. when mine used to disappear for like a week max, it drove me insane wondering what was up. But after a while of similar disappearance routine, i have figured it out. When he wants to disappear, the last thing u wanna do is chase him back... he's an air sign, let him fly and be free and wonder around. He'll soon miss u and make the contact 😉

Oh for fucks's sake, stop making excuses for piss poor behavior. You are 34 fucking years old, yet making up fake ass reasons like you're a moronic 20 something.

Wake up to reality. This common excuse that women use, especially with astrology, of "they disappear and that's okay. They need space." This is the DUMBEST thing I hear women here utter about guys and all it is is the shitty self esteem justifying tolerating rude behavior toward you because you cannot fathom that dude may be fucking another chick or not that into you.

When you're involved with a guy, and he "disappears," it's not a good thing. He either fell into a hole or he's distancing himself for whatever reason, whether it's him not into you, he's entertaining his options, etc.

In your case, the latter is HIGHLY likely considering how that age is in dating, especially in this day and age. It's all about options, options, options, and people treat others as commodities (especially immature Libras).

Also, you two have "broken up" before? You sound as immature as he is. You're 34 and letting some stupid boy do this to you? Sweetie, your 30s is a time when most women are so utterly fed up with this garbage that they don't have any more patience for this shit and drop it. Women in their 30s= "I know what I want." Most guys in their 20s = "I have no idea what I want and the only thing I do know is I want to get laid as much as I can."

Do yourself a big favor and do not go back again after this split.

I got involved with a Libra dude in his early 20s just before I turned 30. A lot of it was similar to what you're dealing with and in the long run, I ended up dropping it because it was a waste of time. He was in a different place in life at the time as was I. Needless to say, at this point, I wouldn't bother wasting my time on a dude or a situation like that again. As Tiki said, life's too short. They have so much more time to fuck around with. Let them go fuck around and you find yourself a dude who's not in man child mode.

@tiki33 It's nice to see you around again. We need more logical voices of reason in situations like this haha.

Posted by Sarah_Smile34
Just bang him and expect nothing more. At 23 any man regardless of sign is less likely to commit to anyone and why should they? At that age you are still finding yourself.

Love the icon haha.

I think there is potential if he is mature, like my guy. The thing is yoou have to expect him to change in the next few years. Are you willing to wait a few more years to see where this is going?

Is he the family/monogamous type? If so, you may want to hold on because those are tough to find. Trust me, single men in their 40s are more likely to be players than the mid-20s guys. I speak from experience.

Posted by lotus
I think there is potential if he is mature, like my guy. The thing is yoou have to expect him to change in the next few years. Are you willing to wait a few more years to see where this is going?

Is he the family/monogamous type? If so, you may want to hold on because those are tough to find. Trust me, single men in their 40s are more likely to be players than the mid-20s guys. I speak from experience.

..but the mid 20's guys are normally so wet behind the ears you end up always leading.