Am I a Dictator? If so, how do I change this?

First off, I would really appreciate honest answers. I logged on to this site to change myself and to overcome my weaknesses. I am serious in trying to change myself, which not only worked but made my life happier and turned me into a much better person than I was before 2013.

I've always wanted to be a leader but lately, I realized that I just have to be a follower instead because I almost always fail in my leadership roles. 😢 I've had many leadership roles in the past but the only successful project where I was a leader is the last one. It was when I just let things roll. I did my part but I didn't exert as much effort as I've always done in the past. Amazingly, it created wonderful results.

So what things I needed to change? I can be very bossy without intending to. 😢

Nothing really wrong with it, I concede... but I always have a hard time leading other people... maybe because I'm bossy or appear dictator-like. I want to lead people efficiently and effectively because pretty soon I'll be handling leadership roles again. 😢

I personally think some of the best leaders are the ones that don't try exceptionally hard to be so. It just comes naturally to some people and others have to learn, usually through trial and error.

Knowing your team members on a personal basis can help. If you know how to work with individual personalities it can be a lot easier to help guide them towards a goal. Tactics that work on one person may or may not be effective on anyone else.

Your definition of a Dictator is wrong. Dictators are not as you think they are. They appoint people to do what they deem correct. And replace them when they stray.

What you are is a Control Freak. You made everybody do what you want in the way you want it. That causes people to shut down.

Allowing people freedom to try and you be a guiding force towards a goal is best. Good luck.

Some great leaders were dictators. Depending on the people you work with & how good they are at following orders.. a little sternness won't kill anybody. It actually gains you some respect. Work is work & not a babysitting agency...no kids' gloves. Endure or go to mommy. Just make sure you don't abuse your power though, those are humans too & should be spoken to with respect. I'm all for POWER, I'm a scorpio moon after all 😄

I think my biggest problem is not being a dictator. I realized that it's because I don't know how to ask people do things for a team. I don't know. Even when I say please, it often sounds like I am demanding something...

Confidence will get you a lonnnng way

Accepting that you can't do everything or be everything to everybody will get you a long way. The key is to learn how to perfect what you actually can do

Knowing when to submit to authority will get you a long way

Choosing the right influences will get you a long way. If you wanna be successful, watch what successful people do. If you want to be leader-like, watch what leaders do. The best teacher is to watch those who have already succeeded in the very thing you're trying to do/have

Knowing when to step up to the plate, be assertive & take charge will take you a longggg way. You can't step on the bosses' toes b/c he'll never let you get further than him; then again you can't play dumb to appeal to leaders either b/c they'll never respect or promote you OR take you seriously when you try randomly being a leader

Reading "The 48 Laws of Power" will get you a lonnnnnnng way lol

Timing is everything! Being a leader is a mentality 1st before it is an action. You have to have a certain cluster of traits in you (born with or learned) that you have perfected in order to succeed at a project you are trying to lead

Posted by WaterCup
Some great leaders were dictators. Depending on the people you work with & how good they are at following orders.. a little sternness won't kill anybody. It actually gains you some respect. Work is work & not a babysitting agency...no kids' gloves. Endure or go to mommy. Just make sure you don't abuse your power though, those are humans too & should be spoken to with respect. I'm all for POWER, I'm a scorpio moon after all 😄

Thanks. I think sometimes I'm way toooooooooo nice. At other times, I seem like a Nazi. I need to find the right blend.

Posted by tiziani
Take into account the people in the team you're leading. Some people relish and find their top gear under those who appear dictator-like. Others like to feel like their input is valued on an equal level. It's not just your style of leadership but the chemistry within the team you're leading.

Now this is where I am problematic about. Sometimes, I don't want to know the people in my team. I'm quite lazy to socialize. Maybe I have to understand one by one and just enjoy while doing so so I won't feel burdened to get to know each one of them. I am quite an anti-social... @_@

Posted by CluelessCancer
^well that's a problem

I know! If I ought to know my teammates, it's quite a sacrifice to do! Anyway, I'll be leading again in the future, I'm sure. I have to do this then. It's a good thing that now I know that this is just as important. I'm still in law school so I still have a lot of time to instill this in my subconscious!

Bit too vague imo. What were you a leader of? Different situations may call for different type of leaders.

Posted by sandynads
U SHUD FOLLOW ME OR STH! U CAN BE MY KARL ROVE. I BE DUBYA.

WE'RE BOTH LEO MOONS, HOW WOULD THAT WORK?! AND I THOUGHT, I'M THE LEADER OF OUR CLIQUE. LULZ!

SO YOU'RE THE LEADER OF OUR CLIQUE, NOW—?!!!! @_@

Posted by sandynads
LET'S SEE. U ENETER THE DEETS IM ON MY PHONE NO FLASH. IM 5/7/84. JUST MAKE SURE TO ENTER BOTH MALE. 🙂

http://sasstrology.com/love-calculator

WTF IS THAT, MAN?! @_@

So any luck with the kinder gentler ruler thing?