Would you stick around if your partner became bed-ridden & depended on you for everything (bathing, feeding, etc)?
Honestly...
I just watched this show about this obese woman whose husband left her when she became immobile. Men do tend to runaway in situations like that unlike women. I know a woman who still takes care of her blind husband. He was stabbed in both eyes during a mugging & he was with another female at the time.
Posted by xvll27Posted by WaterCup
Would you stick around if your partner became bed-ridden & depended on you for everything (bathing, feeding, etc)?
Like if shes absolutely in comma or get some physical injury than Yes I could take care of her 🙂 other than that I don't like lazy peopleclick to expand
Ofcourse I'm talking about illness, a life long immobility ie. paralysis, etc.
Not sure.
Posted by PiscVirgAquaFishPosted by WaterCup
Would you stick around if your partner became bed-ridden & depended on you for everything (bathing, feeding, etc)?
Yesclick to expand
Just curious, why?
Posted by BlueSandCacoon
Not sure.
I'm with you here..people can be so selfish sometimes & you'll never know if they'd stick with you if the roles were reversed.
Posted by PiscVirgAquaFishPosted by WaterCup
I just watched this show about this obese woman whose husband left her when she became immobile. Men do tend to runaway in situations like that unlike women. I know a woman who still takes care of her blind husband. He was stabbed in both eyes during a mugging & he was with another female at the time.
As in he was cheating when it happened. Nah I don't think so. There's wonderful programs here for blind people. I'd help him find one and then he would have to live alone with his karma.click to expand
I'd never do it either. The worse part is that he is physically abusive to her even now. This woman is friends with my BFF. So 1 day I was at my bff's house & she came in & was very upset. He had beaten her yet again. She says after an arguement he waits until she gets in bed & then opens a can of whoop ass lol. It's strange to be physically abused by a blind person, but I guess they find ways too.
Posted by djbuck1
A co-worker was married to a man who became totally disabled. I forget the specifics, but he contracted some illness or suffered some medical event that caused severe brain and neurological damage. He was still mentally competent and articulate, but completely physically disabled. He was also subject to extreme mood swings.
She stayed with him for about seven years after that event, but by that point physically and emotionally she could no longer deal with him, so she arranged for his continued care, left and divorced him. She later remarried.
Until one has actually taken care of someone with a disability, I think this situation is impossible to "call."
Wow, good for her.
Posted by tiziani
I think I'd have to consider myself extremely fortunate if the relationship works out.
It's not some fairytale stuff where the "bed ridden" person just automatically hopes the other "stays" in the relationship with them.
A lot of the time changes like paralysis or terminal illness can turn someone into a very recalcitrant person who no longer really wants anyone around to spare them the "shame" of putting up with them. Or they will just be so convinced the other person is going to leave anyway, they will start pushing them away instead.
It's not just a physical change, it's the impact it has on the character. Which changes the whole dynamic. This has happened to people in my family with mental illness and it's always the one under illness that has ended it.
When I'm in love with someone I've decided I'm with them to the end but I can't be arrogant to assume that would be good enough for them. Stay away from television, it's not the real world.
It makes sense.
Posted by KingVirgoPosted by WaterCupPosted by KingVirgo
Yeah or die trying ( 50 cent lol )....
Do you think she'd do the same for you?
It doesn't matter if she does or doesn't, I made my promise to take care of her.click to expand
Wondeful. I guess I'm one of the selfish people. If only a person could see the future or both sides of a situation
Posted by KingVirgoPosted by WaterCupPosted by BlueSandCacoon
Not sure.
I'm with you here..people can be so selfish sometimes & you'll never know if they'd stick with you if the roles were reversed.
You can't control how others will act but you can control how you react...click to expand
But that IS my reaction
Posted by PiscVirgAquaFishPosted by WaterCupPosted by PiscVirgAquaFishPosted by WaterCup
Would you stick around if your partner became bed-ridden & depended on you for everything (bathing, feeding, etc)?
Yes
Just curious, why?
Why not? If they fell ill or became handicapped its not like I would just stop loving them. I would want to make sure they got the best care possible whether its me or someone else.click to expand
Ok. I can't help thinking 'dark' sometimes
Posted by KingVirgoPosted by WaterCupPosted by PiscVirgAquaFishPosted by WaterCup
I just watched this show about this obese woman whose husband left her when she became immobile. Men do tend to runaway in situations like that unlike women. I know a woman who still takes care of her blind husband. He was stabbed in both eyes during a mugging & he was with another female at the time.
As in he was cheating when it happened. Nah I don't think so. There's wonderful programs here for blind people. I'd help him find one and then he would have to live alone with his karma.
I'd never do it either. The worse part is that he is physically abusive to her even now. This woman is friends with my BFF. So 1 day I was at my bff's house & she came in & was very upset. He had beaten her yet again. She says after an arguement he waits until she gets in bed & then opens a can of whoop ass lol. It's strange to be physically abused by a blind person, but I guess they find ways too.
I don't agree with domestic violence from the man or woman who do it, how ignorant are you that you can't use words to solve a problem so instead you use your hands, I hate that shit to the MAX!!!!!!click to expand
I agree & I would have left his sorry ass eons ago. I think she is still there out of guilty, obligation or what her inlaws will say.
Posted by KingVirgoPosted by WaterCupPosted by KingVirgoPosted by WaterCupPosted by KingVirgo
Yeah or die trying ( 50 cent lol )....
Do you think she'd do the same for you?
It doesn't matter if she does or doesn't, I made my promise to take care of her.
Wondeful. I guess I'm one of the selfish people. If only a person could see the future or both sides of a situation
It's not selfish every human has a tolerance level and you reached your's, now I can talk all this big junk on here saying I would do this and do that but probably depending on the circumstances I might also bounce but I would at least try to help if anything...click to expand
I get what you're saying. I guess we'll never know until it's reality 😢
Posted by WaterCup
Would you stick around if your partner became bed-ridden & depended on you for everything (bathing, feeding, etc)?
If we were married, yes.
Just in a relationship though? Depends on how long we've been together. I'm all for loyalty & staying through thick & thin, but I'm only all for that if those things have been earned through time, love & commitment
I'm not gonna front & say that if my boyfriend of 2 weeks or even 6 months were in this predicament that I'd stay
No
Posted by WaterCup
I just watched this show about this obese woman whose husband left her when she became immobile. Men do tend to runaway in situations like that unlike women. I know a woman who still takes care of her blind husband. He was stabbed in both eyes during a mugging & he was with another female at the time.
Wait duringn the mugging or a different relationship before this one?
Posted by djbuck1
Until one has actually taken care of someone with a disability, I think this situation is impossible to "call."
I agree.
And this:
Posted by WaterCup
I just watched this show about this obese woman whose husband left her when she became immobile.click to expand
If it had been HIM with, say, untreated alcoholism, instead of an untreated food addiction-- would anyone have expected HER to stay?
Likely not.
Everyone has made some exquisite points thus far, and I think it's correct that this type of situation is hard to call until you've been placed in the position. Personally speaking though, I can't imagine leaving in a situation like that. I couldn't make any guarantees about fidelity but to just abandon them... I think I would be eaten alive by guilt just thinking about it.
Posted by tiziani
That's the first I've heard of physical abuse as a form of lashing out but I believe infidelity is a one that crops up in many of these kinds of traumatic changes. I know it did in my family when the one suffering from illness went as far as being with other people just to convince everyone to stay away. Multiple suicide attempts too.
First you have the person suffering from illness cutting and running, ending it many times verbally. It got harsher every time for the woman who stuck around to hear "I don't want to be with you" then "I don't love you" etc.
Then should you ever get your partner to rehabilitation, naturally they're likely to strike up understanding with other people going through it with them and they have less time and intimacy with you.
You're in a situation where as the "able" one your life has guaranteed to become them, whereas theirs is rarely going to be centred around you. The physical changes are really only scratching the surface. It's a brave couple that beats the odds on these things and I have admiration for both of them if they do.
Well according to my bff he has always been like that (abusive)... blindness didn't stop it. I'm sorry, but I think I'd beat his blind behind then dump him if I were her. IJS. Physically abuse is disgusting, but to let a blind man do that to you is what I don't understand...duck around a bit..it's not like he can see you. I'm not making fun of the blind here, but come on!
Posted by KingVirgo
lol it seems like most of the females proved you wrong WC while they are saying no the few men on here said yes lol... changing of the tides.
Umm well..men have left people for far less lol. I know a lady whose husband left her for having vertiligo (sp?). Her patchy skin was an embarrassment to him & he didn't want to be seen with her in public. If they were going somewhere together he'll leave the house 1st while she follows behind...far behind.
Posted by SsasyPosted by WaterCup
I just watched this show about this obese woman whose husband left her when she became immobile. Men do tend to runaway in situations like that unlike women. I know a woman who still takes care of her blind husband. He was stabbed in both eyes during a mugging & he was with another female at the time.
Wait duringn the mugging or a different relationship before this one?click to expand
He was married to her when he got mugged & the woman he was with was his mistress. They beat & raped...the lady found out about it at the hospital where they were both admitted.
Posted by MontgomeryPosted by djbuck1
Until one has actually taken care of someone with a disability, I think this situation is impossible to "call."
I agree.
And this:
Posted by WaterCup
I just watched this show about this obese woman whose husband left her when she became immobile.
If it had been HIM with, say, untreated alcoholism, instead of an untreated food addiction-- would anyone have expected HER to stay?
Likely not.
click to expand
Are you say women dont stick with alcoholics? Correct me if I'm wrong, but I know it happens. My aunt is married to one. When he is drunk, which is daily, he starts swearing at her miles & miles away from their home. He is pretty hilarious, so by the time he reaches home he has a crowd of people trailing behind him (Pied Piper style ) listen & laughing at the things he says. It was embarrassing to live in that house. Everybody knew it as 'that house where the funny guy lives'. I've never seen him beat her though, just the embarrassing rude things he said made/makes her cry. He is an aqua & she is a sadge.
Posted by WaterCupPosted by MontgomeryPosted by djbuck1
Until one has actually taken care of someone with a disability, I think this situation is impossible to "call."
I agree.
And this:
Posted by WaterCup
I just watched this show about this obese woman whose husband left her when she became immobile.
If it had been HIM with, say, untreated alcoholism, instead of an untreated food addiction-- would anyone have expected HER to stay?
Likely not.
Are you say women dont stick with alcoholics? Correct me if I'm wrong, but I know it happens.click to expand
I have no idea how you came to that conclusion.
I posed a hypothetical about society's often unfair expectations.
Alcoholics are addicted to alcohol; many morbidly obese people have some kind of food addiction.
Both diseases can render a person "immobile"-- BUT both diseases can be treated and managed, if the sufferer is willing.
You presented a story about a morbidly obese woman, whose husband had left her-- as though HE were the bad guy-- instead of her, for not treating her disease.
Posted by MontgomeryPosted by WaterCupPosted by MontgomeryPosted by djbuck1
Until one has actually taken care of someone with a disability, I think this situation is impossible to "call."
I agree.
And this:
Posted by WaterCup
I just watched this show about this obese woman whose husband left her when she became immobile.
If it had been HIM with, say, untreated alcoholism, instead of an untreated food addiction-- would anyone have expected HER to stay?
Likely not.
Are you say women dont stick with alcoholics? Correct me if I'm wrong, but I know it happens.
I have no idea how you came to that conclusion.
I posed a hypothetical about society's often unfair expectations.
Alcoholics are addicted to alcohol; many morbidly obese people have some kind of food addiction.
Both diseases can render a person "immobile"-- BUT both diseases can be treated and managed, if the sufferer is willing.
You presented a story about a morbidly obese woman, whose husband had left her-- as though HE were the bad guy-- instead of her, for not treating her disease.
click to expand
How is he not the bad guy here? 'Through thick & thin'..she is THICK. 'In sickness & health'..she is SICK. 'Till death do us part'..she died ALONE.
Plus him leaving her left her even more depressed & how do food addicts fill up emotional voids? WITH FOOD. She was 500lbs & balooned to 689 since he left. And what about the kids who were left fatherless? They had to skip school on some days, doing a rotating so someone could be home watching her since she had breathing problems, etc. How is that the responsibility of the kids when the spouse is alive & kicking?
Posted by WaterCup
Would you stick around if your partner became bed-ridden & depended on you for everything (bathing, feeding, etc)?
Yes.
Posted by WynterPosted by WaterCup
Would you stick around if your partner became bed-ridden & depended on you for everything (bathing, feeding, etc)?
Yes.click to expand
because they depend upon me.
Posted by WaterCup
Plus him leaving her left her even more depressed & how do food addicts fill up emotional voids? WITH FOOD. She was 500lbs & balooned to 689 since he left. And what about the kids who were left fatherless? They had to skip school on some days, doing a rotating so someone could be home watching her since she had breathing problems, etc. How is that the responsibility of the kids when the spouse is alive & kicking?
Did you even read my post, in full?
You're pulling ideas out of thin air, it seems.
The question I posed was this:
"If it had been HIM with, say, untreated alcoholism, instead of an untreated food addiction-- would anyone have expected HER to stay?"
~
Regardless (and this is a new thought, independent of the above)-- the untreated disease is still HERS.
It wouldn't be his fault that she "filled the emotional void with food."
She was doing that before he ever came along.
Posted by MontgomeryPosted by WaterCup
Plus him leaving her left her even more depressed & how do food addicts fill up emotional voids? WITH FOOD. She was 500lbs & balooned to 689 since he left. And what about the kids who were left fatherless? They had to skip school on some days, doing a rotating so someone could be home watching her since she had breathing problems, etc. How is that the responsibility of the kids when the spouse is alive & kicking?
Did you even read my post, in full?
You're pulling ideas out of thin air, it seems.
The question I posed was this:
"If it had been HIM with, say, untreated alcoholism, instead of an untreated food addiction-- would anyone have expected HER to stay?"
~
Regardless (and this is a new thought, independent of the above)-- the untreated disease is still HERS.
It wouldn't be his fault that she "filled the emotional void with food."
She was doing that before he ever came along.click to expand
& I answered YES to your bolded question. As I said, it happens all the time.The addiction may be hers, but something else in her daily life must have triggered it since she wasn't born obese & got obese during their marriage. And it got worse after he deserted her. Maybe you should see her video online, her name is Dominique Aloise & also notice how she still cries for her husband in the video. This woman was in her teens when she married & moved from Haiti...she was thin too. And tell me these things I'm pulling out of thin air?
Posted by WaterCup
& I answered YES to your bolded question. As I said, it happens all the time.The addiction may be hers, but something else in her daily life must have triggered it since she wasn't born obese & got obese during their marriage. And it got worse after he deserted her. Maybe you should see her video online, her name is Dominique Aloise & also notice how she still cries for her husband in the video. This woman was in her teens when she married & moved from Haiti...she was thin too. And tell me these things I'm pulling out of thin air?
No, you didn't.
You told us a story about your aunt.
And tears don't legitimize a story.
Something I disagree with, fundamentally, is enabling people with addictions that can be managed/treated.
If one continues to stay and make excuses for it, the one who suffers from the addiction only continues to do so.
On the flip side-- nagging, threatening, and guilting someone does no good, either-- and the relationship turns toxic-- kids don't need to be around that, nor does the spouse.
Sometimes, the very worst thing to do in those cases, for BOTH parties, is stay.
And I think the example you told us about is one of those cases-- sorry.
Depends.
Join the Conversation. Explore Yourself. Connect with Others.
Discover insights, swap stories, and find people. dxpnet is where experiences turn into understanding.
Create Your Free Account →Related Topics
Thread you visit when you log on to the site? The relationship thread? Astrology thread? The thread of your specif
Ive always Loved Jessica Rabbit! Guess thats Why My Hair is red NO! :) http://imgs.tuts.dragoart.com/how-to-draw-jes
Why are so many people obsessed with light skin or being light skinned? This thread is inspired by a post at the pisc
First and foremost, Ive read some threads on here, gotten advice from many, and seen some threads that I don't even comm
Guys what would you do if you found out that the baby you thought was yours, is actually somebody else's? Would you cut
So, this isn't a huge deal, but this just annoyed me. I was texting my girlfriend last night, and we were going back an
I like to sniff his clothes and take in his scent. I think its intoxicating. Sometimes i even sniff the chair after he'
firebunny is too carefree a personality. I'm not like this in real life. firebunny is a part of me my neighbors and clas
I notice that some guys here on dxp found their girl. I am not too lucky yet. @_@. I wonder whys.
I am making a potato and leek soup. My favorite. What are yours?
Do you ever notice particular nuances from certain signs? Say for instance, over the last several years you notice th
Pitbulls I've heard the horror stories. I've also heard that the owners are to blame, and the dogs can be rehabili
WHAT IS IT DOES IT HAVE TO INCLUD SEX? HOW MANY MEN / WOMEN CHEAT IN HOPES OF GETTING COUGHT? WHAT IS MISSING TO MAK
As in number of sexual partners. If a potential partner told you the number of people they've been with & it was a lot
In your own words. Tell me what it means to you to be 'sexually liberated'.
Wanna wrestle with firebunny, mate?! What's up with all the hate messages? @_@ I am NOT EVIL!!! NOES!!!!! @_@ Hahah J
What 'old fashion' beliefs do you still go by? I still believe in no children out of wedlock. I still believe that i