Inappropriately Sexual?

Eh? I can't see over the danged wall!

AWWWH FUDGE! Hit Enter too soon.

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Ok, my Virgo bff and I have an awkward friendship. We speak our own language...literally. When we're together, we're very silly, playful and downright stupid. In mixed company, we both put on aires. He gets all GQ and I'm more of that snotty bitch who might actually just be shy, but you can't tell so just keep an eye on me.

Well, I was telling Catfish about a thread in the relationship's forum that krys posted regarding going through a lover's mobile and how I would never do that or any invasion of privacy because I believe it's nuts. But that got me to thinking about what's in my cell and I wondered if it's inappropriate and if it could be misinterpreted the wrong way.

So back to to my Virgo bff, we tend to make sexual jokes. The jokes are outrageous and stupid and it's all about who can top the other with regard to foolishness. It's harmless but I'll let you be the judge of that. Our last texting is as follows, he's in italics.


How's my honey bunny baby bear?

U nekkid?

Touch me

Lol...u ready baby?

I'll wax it, if you tax it...get it...got it...good it...riiiiiiite...so stiff.

Naaah, I just want you to shave your nips and put peanut butter on them so I can pretend you're a human Reese's cup...you're the chocolate. *girl giggles*

Ohhhh yeaaaaaaa...he he he...it tickles my bum bum...oh what a sensation.

I have a "sensation" for you. Call me Peppermint Patty.

Yeah? But what would you do-ooowh-ooowh for a Klondike bar?



And it goes on and on like that. Should my Pisces be upset or is it ok to make sexual jokes with a friend of the opposite sex?

Ohhhh yeaaaaaaa...he he he...it tickles my bum bum...oh what a sensation.

^ i hope your virgo bff is a girl.

lol

nope...and therein lies the joke.

Mmmm hard call this one. You both have a long standing friendship. You both do this for humorous purposes and it never went any further than that ( because the talk IS funny. Least it is to earthier folk ).
However, this is where it gets a bit tricky, when you introduce *flourish of trumpets please✨ your Catfish. Who may or may not be too keen on it. I would hazard a guess as to say 'not'.
In all seriousness I'd just be completely up front. "Hey Fish, this is my Virgo friend, we've known each for yonks and past to present we think it's funny to have a bit of the ol' sassy verbal sparring. Never amounts to anything other than a laugh. Does this bother you?" If it did I would be more aware of it. Not have it dry up completely, but definitely tone it down to a nice comfortable roar. Obviously you'd not give your friend the soft toe of your slipper, nor should you. But let friend know too. "Hey pal, my Boo is not too appreciative of our humor, so it's going to go down a notch."
One compromise on your part. And try not to let that Fire flash and give the finger of justice in defense of friend. Tough go, I'm very protective of my friends too, but hell. I don't live with them. ( Yeh, yeh, I know.. making a scenario here..work wif' meh! )
So, there you have it. Ask Cap'n Poisson if that gets his gills in an uproar, and if so, turn down the gas a bit on the stove.

thanks VB.

full disclosure, the virgo and i have seen one another nekkid...and on a VERY FEW occasions my jelly got in his peanut butter. it was a looooooooooooong time ago but it does complicates things and it's what ultimately bothers Catfish.

he's trying to respect the friendship but said, "it's weird."

part of me sees it for what it is, but i also know that i've been friends with this dude for like 5 years and he truly is one of my bff's. i can see pulling it back but it's not as if we do this all the time. i mean those texts were last night and he was in a hotel with one of his many bitches.

*shrugs*

i guess my point is, my phone would be a lightening rod for a suspicious person and aint a damn thing going on.

Posted by AA
oh it says opposite sex!

i think you'd have a hard time explaining. and if he ever knew or found out that would take the fun away from it and it would be weird when he sees you texting.

i told him about it. i dont have anything to hide. i'm an open book....to a fault.

AHHHHHHHHH. "It's weird." He can break that down into further Queens English and say whether it bothers him or not. You know, the Virgo know that it's in the past and won't happen again. That and we don't just cut mates loose unless they've been doing some severe emotional/heart stomping that is unbearable.
That would be Mission Numero Uno ( should you choose to accept ), churn the water a bit and get down to whether it truly has his boxer briefs in a knot or no.

If it were me personally, I'd dry up the schmexi talk. But DEFINITELY ask his feelings on things. 🙂

tru @days. i dont think he would but if he did and saw that, without context? lordy.

i get how inappropriate it appears but at the same time, we joke...hard core jokes but i agree. i shall tone it down 😢

i'm always asking asking if they wanna suck my dick and stuff? they no i'm joking

Yayyy! And another mystery solved by the crack team of *nudging Scooby aside* DXP.

Posted by AA
i'm always asking asking if they wanna suck my dick and stuff? they no i'm joking

yes, i blame my aries impulsiveness for the random sexually charged shit i blurt out all in fun. tbh, i don't get the big deal...i get it but i don't but it's enough that it bothers him so i will it back.

i dont like the idea of altering my friendships due to a relationship but i do see the "inappropriate" nature of the conversations.

catch-22

Posted by ellessque
how would you feel if it were the other way around?

just curious.

he asked me the same thing and i can't answer that. i'd rather be kept in the dark if it were innocent. as long as he never acted on it, who gives a damn?

intimacy? what the?

stop being hysterical.

yes, blame the aries for everything. hey while your at it why don't you blame the retard for global warming

EW, now I'm having a flashback of the ex with his emotional affair. Did you know my dxp darlings that he was making all sorts of oral references to her in the bathroom on his cell while HIS WIFE was standing in the kitchen at the stove overhearing it all? I didn't blow up at first, I was too shocked, numb and hurt. Made up for that later though. In spades. *sitting lotus style chanting..in the past, in the past..in the damned past*

Who was blaming Aries for something? *scampering off to re-read*

hey ellessque after that conversation did the Cap pull back the quilt to reveal his muscular body?
to which you reluctantly said no, but it wasn't enough to avoid his spell.

LOLOL

i agree days. i should get points for checking my footing on this one. this isn't some secret thing. i'm not brazen and waving it in his face. nor am i hiding it. i have a platonic friendship that in the light of day would make outsiders blush.

the stubborn part of me refuses to alter a long-standing friendship. besides, if Catfish and i move fwd, my bff and i most likely won't see one another in like...ever, as we'll be moving. so what the big deal yo?

aa and i are on better terms these days...until he's an ass again. i give it 20 min.

As to the original post...lol. I will share a story that happened to a BFF of mine. She was dating her man for two years and she is friends with a lawyer where she works and they sometimes get a bit flirty but nothing at all was going on. Well, he saw some text so she was upfront with him and told him what was up and showed him more texts and assured him that he was only a friend. Now realize that they lived together and he knew where she was at all times. She also brought up how she had been faithful to him the whole time and that he knew that but he still broke up with her and moved out.

I guess I would say that you should be careful with it b/c some people can't handle it especially knowing that you two were intimate at one time.

Me personally, I would be uncomfortable with that if I discovered it. I have gotten better about not being jealous or possessive but given the situation and what's being said (even though just in jest) I wouldn't like it at all.

Caligula, I commend you (sort of) for being completely an open book and telling Catfish (giggles at that). It's a touchy subject (for anyone, but specifically, because most of ya'll are all about full disclosure - I am not). My ex-fiance' are very close. He's been married, divorced, and now dating someone else (has been now for about 2 years). One of my girlfriends asked if his ex-wife knew we talked, had lunch, etc. I shrugged and said, "I don't know, and probably not. Why would he tell her something that would potentially cause a big brouhahaha for nothing. Further, he cheated on me with her, so if anybody should've been upset, it should've been me, but I don't care. We are NOT intimate, and I don't want him. I can't speak for his intentions, but it takes two to tango, and I've taken my dancing shoes off." People blow up and become irrational by things that quite frankly are trivial. Is there something to the emotional/intimacy thing? Yes, but each relationship is different, and I am not going to give up a friend for a man I'm dating; however, that doesn't mean I will be disrespectful and let a male friend call/text me all hours of the night. But, on the same token, I respect my male friends too, and wouldn't do anything with them that would give their SO/wife any sense of impropriety. Some may see going out to lunch with an ex, etc, as bad, but it works for me, but may not work for others. The tough part I see about this one Caligula is that you were physically intimat with this person before, and your Catfish (if he knows this) may not like it, and if he were to find out later that you were intimate with this person and are sending sexting...then he would likely be pissed off and think he was being cuckholded (I love that Chaucerian word).

Posted by ellessque
dear, you are dealing with a pisces.

not another taurus or virgo.

yes, intimacy.

Agreed.

First off, I adore filthy talk. Filthier the better. Hard to believe, I know, I don't parade the fact around all over the town square. It's hilarious and titillating. Puts a poo eating grin on my face and a buzz elsewhere. BUT! ( always one of those, eh? )
If I was someones lady, I would not engage in it with my chums. Not only would I not out of respect for man cakes, but also because *I* wouldn't feel right speaking thus to someone in that fashion.
I'd relegate the laughter and enjoyment of it to a raunchy comedy show or engage my MAN with the dirty dirty. And....*curtsy*

USC, he knows about the virgo. all the sordid details.

as absolutely crazy as it sounds, i've seen this man's wee more times than i care to count and NOTHING happened 99% of the time. at times he would try but even then it was an exercise in futility. as USC mentioned, those heels have long been retired and put out to pasture. i'm not sexually attracted to him. he's like a big brother...without the incest.

and stpatty, i get your point. Catfish is trying to be objective but i know what he would ultimately like for me to do. in truth, that TEXTING was pretty mild 😛 but yeah, it's "inappropriate"

regardless...NO! nothing would happen if i were in a compromising situation with him. i dont put myself in to compromising situations with men anymore. my ViA is a bit of a nymph so i keep that bitch on a short leash.

as far as how i would feel if the roles were reversed, i honestly can't say. i know taurus is supposed to be jealous but i'm not worried about stuff like this. i'm not sure what makes me uber jealous but a text wouldn't do it. i wouldn't go looking for this kind of crap. some bitch coming up and hugging up on a guy i'm dating, now THAT would make me jealous.

*shrugs*

Posted by venusianbull
First off, I adore filthy talk. Filthier the better. Hard to believe, I know, I don't parade the fact around all over the town square. It's hilarious and titillating. Puts a poo eating grin on my face and a buzz elsewhere. BUT! ( always one of those, eh? )
If I was someones lady, I would not engage in it with my chums. Not only would I not out of respect for man cakes, but also because *I* wouldn't feel right speaking thus to someone in that fashion.
I'd relegate the laughter and enjoyment of it to a raunchy comedy show or engage my MAN with the dirty dirty. And....*curtsy*

see that's the difference. i don't regard it as sexual. i see it as humor that takes a sexual turn. but it's not really about sex...or having sex. it's about being ridiculous.

ie...

how is ya?

greeeeeeeeeeeeeeettt

what u up to?

chillin...rubbin a woodie.

lol...1-800-dial-a-ho could probably use your services

ohhh yeeeaaa. like really? do you think they would like me? like for sure?...riiiiiiiite (in my valley girl voice)

yeah, i can totally picture you in a pair of assless booty shorts. u should totally take a pic and send it to me. would be AWESOME!... pink assless booty shorts and a canary yellow bow tie.

oooh, how we t sounds....so slippery yeaaaaaaa...ebay here i cum. he he he



^that's the context. it's more stupid than it is sexual. i'm not sure if that makes it worse or better but it really is just foolishness...not intimacy or sexual tension or anything of the sort.

so when i read it, am engaging in it, i can't take it seriously or see it as an offense because it really is ridiculous. we're joking and that's all it is. i guess that's why i am resistant to altering something that i dont perceive as a threat. i will, but i think it's not necessary to do so...besides to keep the peace of course.

Posted by caligula

Posted by venusianbull
First off, I adore filthy talk. Filthier the better. Hard to believe, I know, I don't parade the fact around all over the town square. It's hilarious and titillating. Puts a poo eating grin on my face and a buzz elsewhere. BUT! ( always one of those, eh? )
If I was someones lady, I would not engage in it with my chums. Not only would I not out of respect for man cakes, but also because *I* wouldn't feel right speaking thus to someone in that fashion.
I'd relegate the laughter and enjoyment of it to a raunchy comedy show or engage my MAN with the dirty dirty. And....*curtsy*

see that's the difference. i don't regard it as sexual. i see it as humor that takes a sexual turn. but it's not really about sex...or having sex. it's about being ridiculous.

click to expand

Nahh, just putting myself in that situ. My modus operandi. You are talking to another Bull, sexy humor makes me give off a head thrown back belly laugh.

Posted by ellessque
fair enough.

what's the catfish's number? I love sexting. Since you wouldn't mind........just saying 😛

you're not his type.

ROFLMAO Oh maaaaaaaaaaan.

no. should it be?

*shrugs*

water signs are the kids who gum in your hair or dump finger paint in your book bag when no one is looking. thing is, they're the only ones with that flavor gum and their fingertips are colorful and there's paint on their shoes so just follow the colorful footsteps from the scene of the crime.

i think yall are very transparent with your vindictiveness.

so he can attempt to get me riled up but for me personally, i can see through emotional manipulation so someone childishly attempting to get back at me by altering their behaviors to prove a point gets ZERO reaction. in fact, my lack of reaction will upset him more because frankly, i don't give a shit now. you got an issue, state it. i don't have time for petty, emotional games.

not sure if it's just me but my taurean jealousy and anger doesn't work that way. i get upset over real shit...not things that people make up to get me riled up. and if he were to REALLY cross boundaries by taking texting into the physical realm? it's over. i never cheated so he wasn't getting back at me, he did allow his insecurity and emotional instability to ruin our relationship though.

Posted by ellessque
yes tubby it should be.

well, call me crazy but i trust him. i know. foreign concept for scorps.

Posted by caligula


not sure if it's just me but my taurean jealousy and anger doesn't work that way. i get upset over real shit...not things that people make up to get me riled up.

Agreed. I'm not an overly jealous person (not to say I haven't been jealous before, but when I have it's been very much warranted and no tickey tackey bulls@#t).

she'll believe me because i have all O's on my report card and you have U's 😛

i am big on the do unto others dynamic and if Catfish had a female friend to which he had a similar dynamic, i would be hard pressed to get upset about it. i just can't see myself getting into a tizzy over a pre-existing, long-standing friendship.

i'm friends with a couple of my ex's. i probably would be friends with more of them if i chose to be. should i stop talking to them because they've seen me naked?

with that said, if he developed a relationship with a woman after we met in which they began speaking sexually via text, i think that's an entirely different story. that would bother me.

and it would bother me because to develop a new friends like this out of the blue WOULD be weird. there's no context or history to it.

i've known this guy a good 5+ years and it wasn't always like this. so for someone to start "SEXTING" an unfamiliar party, that is peculiar. i don't think what i'm doing is.


and @USC -- exactly. it's not to say that i am incapable of feeling twinges of jealousy. it's just that they aren't aroused by my "imagination." i'll leave fantasy to water signs. show me something real and then i'll react.

You really just have to know your partner well enough to make an informed decision.

If I had a guy friend I joked around with like that my bf most likely wouldn't care. He jokes around with his friends like that all the time. Even I joke around with his friends (who are also my friends now) like that! For example... just last month we were celebrating one of our mutual friend's (a straight male who is also physically attracted to me but respectful) birthday at a pub. For his pseudo birthday present I gave him an "air bj" right in front of my bf. My bf just thought it was funny and we all had a good laugh.

See, my bf is a bit possessive but isn't all that jealous. He's had a couple of moments but they were over people he didn't know. Anyway, I know how his mind and heart operate so I also know what he would probably describe as inappropriate behavior.

days, would you curse like a sailor around an employer? i think you grow in to familiarity. if some guy started texting me out of the blue being uber vulgar, i wouldn't tee-hee. i dont think most women would. we had to grow into this level of humor and i think that's the case with most people...sans ariens.

with that said, i won't be giving any air bj's (wtf ninja?) anytime soon.

Posted by ellessque
tubby, this isn't even about you. this is about HIM. sheeeeesh.

he is a water sign, we cannot seperate intimacy, i don't care how "evolved" he may be.

it bothers him, guarantee it.

stop doing it if you care.

i said i would pull it back. i care about him. end of story.

but i resent the insinuation and having to alter INNOCENT behaviors simply because water signs are paranoid and have fucked up imaginations.

Posted by Days22

Posted by caligula
days, would you curse like a sailor around an employer? i think you grow in to familiarity. if some guy started texting me out of the blue being uber vulgar, i wouldn't tee-hee. i dont think most women would. we had to grow into this level of humor and i think that's the case with most people...sans ariens.

with that said, i won't be giving any air bj's (wtf ninja?) anytime soon.

in fact i do cuss like a sailer around my employers. my newest one. not my old one.

click to expand

i mean when you get a job that doesn't involve a name tag.

Posted by caligula

Posted by ellessque
tubby, this isn't even about you. this is about HIM. sheeeeesh.

he is a water sign, we cannot seperate intimacy, i don't care how "evolved" he may be.

it bothers him, guarantee it.

stop doing it if you care.

i said i would pull it back. i care about him. end of story.

but i resent the insinuation and having to alter INNOCENT behaviors simply because water signs are paranoid and have fucked up imaginations.

click to expand

Agreed Cali! Being respectful is one thing. Completely changing the way you are or being disingenuine to accommodate or not "tossle the water" for another is something different.

*raised brow*

yeah, i give air bj's to close friends and they dry hump each other in public. that's how we roll! is this any less appropriate than your sexting to a close friend? shit... at least mine is out in the open.

@ elle: good! then you shouldn't have a bf who thinks it's ok. we just have a jr. high sense of humor, what can i say? it's not for everyone but that is how close and weird we are with each other.

MOOD BREAKER! CRY FREEEEEDOOOOOOOOOOOM!

omg lol no tp!!!!

LMAO I had too! 😄

I hope those young ladies showered.

They're skanks? I didn't watch the whole thing.