The Lady Scorpio
@TheLadyScorpio
12 Years10,000+ Posts
Comments: 1412 · Posts: 11166 · Topics: 154
Men...Lies. Deception. Betrayal.
Reality Check:
His lying is not contigent on who you are or what you do. His lying is not your fault. Lying is his choice and his problem, and if he makes that choice with you, he will make it with any other woman he's with. That doesn't mean you??re an angel and he's the devil. It does mean that if he doesn't like certain things about you, he has many ways to address them besides lying. If there are sexual problems between you, there are many resources available to help you. Nothing can change until you hold him responsible and accountable for lying and stop blaming yourself.
The lies we tell ourselves to keep from seeing the truth about our lovers don't feel like lies. They feel comfortable, familiar, and true. We repeat them like a mantra and cling to them like security blankets, hoping to calm ourselves and regain our sense that the world works the way we believe it ought to.
Self-lies are false friends we look to for comfort and protection—and for a short time they may make us feel better. But we can only keep the truth at bay for so long. Our self-lies can't erase his lies, and as we??ll see, the longer we try to pretend they can, the more we deepen the hurt.
His lying is not contigent on who you are or what you do. His lying is not your fault. Lying is his choice and his problem, and if he makes that choice with you, he will make it with any other woman he's with. That doesn't mean you??re an angel and he's the devil. It does mean that if he doesn't like certain things about you, he has many ways to address them besides lying. If there are sexual problems between you, there are many resources available to help you. Nothing can change until you hold him responsible and accountable for lying and stop blaming yourself.
The lies we tell ourselves to keep from seeing the truth about our lovers don't feel like lies. They feel comfortable, familiar, and true. We repeat them like a mantra and cling to them like security blankets, hoping to calm ourselves and regain our sense that the world works the way we believe it ought to.
Self-lies are false friends we look to for comfort and protection—and for a short time they may make us feel better. But we can only keep the truth at bay for so long. Our self-lies can't erase his lies, and as we??ll see, the longer we try to pretend they can, the more we deepen the hurt.
—Be bad, but at least don't be a liar, a deceiver!??
?? Leo Tolstoy, Anna Karenina
—The liar's punishment is, not in the least that he is not believed, but that he cannot believe anyone else.??
?? George Bernard Shaw, The Quintessence of Ibsenism
—Just because something isn't a lie does not mean that it isn't deceptive. A liar knows that he is a liar, but one who speaks mere portions of truth in order to deceive is a craftsman of destruction.??
?? Criss Jami
—Anybody who says they are a good liar obviously is not, because any legitimately savvy liar would always insist they're honest about everything.??
—For a man who walks in the light, to stay humble is not to walk in the dark; you don't need to project yourself to be thought an honest man.??
"A liar only uses the truth when they want their lies to sound truthful."
?? Anon.
—The liar was the hottest to defend his veracity, the coward his courage, the ill-bred his gentlemanliness, and the cad his honor??
?? Margaret Mitchell
—A liar is always lavish of oaths.??
?? Pierre Corneille
—I know men and women. An honourable man is an honourable man, and a liar is a liar; both are born and not made. One cannot change to the other any more than that same old leopard can change its spots.
After a man tells a woman the first untruth of that sort, the others come piling thick, fast, and mountain high.??
?? Gene Stratton-Porter, A Girl of the Limberlost
?? Leo Tolstoy, Anna Karenina
—The liar's punishment is, not in the least that he is not believed, but that he cannot believe anyone else.??
?? George Bernard Shaw, The Quintessence of Ibsenism
—Just because something isn't a lie does not mean that it isn't deceptive. A liar knows that he is a liar, but one who speaks mere portions of truth in order to deceive is a craftsman of destruction.??
?? Criss Jami
—Anybody who says they are a good liar obviously is not, because any legitimately savvy liar would always insist they're honest about everything.??
—For a man who walks in the light, to stay humble is not to walk in the dark; you don't need to project yourself to be thought an honest man.??
"A liar only uses the truth when they want their lies to sound truthful."
?? Anon.
—The liar was the hottest to defend his veracity, the coward his courage, the ill-bred his gentlemanliness, and the cad his honor??
?? Margaret Mitchell
—A liar is always lavish of oaths.??
?? Pierre Corneille
—I know men and women. An honourable man is an honourable man, and a liar is a liar; both are born and not made. One cannot change to the other any more than that same old leopard can change its spots.
After a man tells a woman the first untruth of that sort, the others come piling thick, fast, and mountain high.??
?? Gene Stratton-Porter, A Girl of the Limberlost
Posted by TheLadyScorpio
—Be bad, but at least don't be a liar, a deceiver!??
?? Leo Tolstoy, Anna Karenina
—The liar's punishment is, not in the least that he is not believed, but that he cannot believe anyone else.??
?? George Bernard Shaw, The Quintessence of Ibsenism
—Just because something isn't a lie does not mean that it isn't deceptive. A liar knows that he is a liar, but one who speaks mere portions of truth in order to deceive is a craftsman of destruction.??
?? Criss Jami
—Anybody who says they are a good liar obviously is not, because any legitimately savvy liar would always insist they're honest about everything.??
—For a man who walks in the light, to stay humble is not to walk in the dark; you don't need to project yourself to be thought an honest man.??
"A liar only uses the truth when they want their lies to sound truthful."
?? Anon.
—The liar was the hottest to defend his veracity, the coward his courage, the ill-bred his gentlemanliness, and the cad his honor??
?? Margaret Mitchell
—A liar is always lavish of oaths.??
?? Pierre Corneille
—I know men and women. An honourable man is an honourable man, and a liar is a liar; both are born and not made. One cannot change to the other any more than that same old leopard can change its spots.
After a man tells a woman the first untruth of that sort, the others come piling thick, fast, and mountain high.??
?? Gene Stratton-Porter, A Girl of the Limberlost
hhhhhh,liers are annoying people i agree with you,especially if you are honest person,still lieSr can save your feelings and protect you from troubles,don't you think dear.
@ loveseeker
This thread was not made for myself but for those who are blinded by the very situations/circumstances which befall them. These were part of an article which I had found, it was my way of sharing since many a threads have been made already interlinked with the topic at hand. If this imparts some light or possible understanding for some, that is good enough for me 🙂
(In regards to honesty and lies, personally neither extremes are suitable for myself, and no, neither will truly save ones feelings nor protect one from trouble, that is simply one party thinking they know better than the other, how despicable and condescending. On the other hand...Where lays the morality within the grey area, that is still a question for many to discern.)
This thread was not made for myself but for those who are blinded by the very situations/circumstances which befall them. These were part of an article which I had found, it was my way of sharing since many a threads have been made already interlinked with the topic at hand. If this imparts some light or possible understanding for some, that is good enough for me 🙂
(In regards to honesty and lies, personally neither extremes are suitable for myself, and no, neither will truly save ones feelings nor protect one from trouble, that is simply one party thinking they know better than the other, how despicable and condescending. On the other hand...Where lays the morality within the grey area, that is still a question for many to discern.)
Posted by IntriguedScorp
I'd rather be told a hard truth than a soft lie. A lie is always discovered....eventually.
+ 1
Though truth does not equate to honesty.
Honesty is objective substance and facts, of what is presented in reality, a simple relay of information, nothing more.
It does not necessary give anything, nor provide understandings it is merely there for one to gather knowledge, or at worse to hoard information as if it would bring enlightening truth within it.
Truth on the other hand, can not be told, it is a journey of understanding which one must seek, it is a process.
It requires critical mental pondering, a willingness to search, the ability to go through analysis, dissecting every thing you have or know of.
One must be able to dig in oneself, of what there was between one and the other, then finally the other individual as a whole.
A very brave journey must be taken, to be courageous enough to step up to own or be responsibility for ones actions and the consequences it will/has reaped, only then can truth be achieved. For it is a conclusion.
🙂
It does not necessary give anything, nor provide understandings it is merely there for one to gather knowledge, or at worse to hoard information as if it would bring enlightening truth within it.
Truth on the other hand, can not be told, it is a journey of understanding which one must seek, it is a process.
It requires critical mental pondering, a willingness to search, the ability to go through analysis, dissecting every thing you have or know of.
One must be able to dig in oneself, of what there was between one and the other, then finally the other individual as a whole.
A very brave journey must be taken, to be courageous enough to step up to own or be responsibility for ones actions and the consequences it will/has reaped, only then can truth be achieved. For it is a conclusion.
🙂
Posted by TheLadyScorpio
Honesty is objective substance and facts, of what is presented in reality, a simple relay of information, nothing more.
It does not necessary give anything, nor provide understandings it is merely there for one to gather knowledge, or at worse to hoard information as if it would bring enlightening truth within it.
Truth on the other hand, can not be told, it is a journey of understanding which one must seek, it is a process.
It requires critical mental pondering, a willingness to search, the ability to go through analysis, dissecting every thing you have or know of.
One must be able to dig in oneself, of what there was between one and the other, then finally the other individual as a whole.
A very brave journey must be taken, to be courageous enough to step up to own or be responsibility for ones actions and the
consequences it will/has reaped, only then can truth be achieved. For it is a conclusion.
🙂
WELL SAI😱)
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MAKING THE LIE MAKE SENSE:
When denial (his or ours) can no longer hold and we finally have to admit to ourselves that we've been lied to, we search frantically for ways to keep it from disrupting our lives. So we rationalize. We find —good reasons?? to justify his lying, just as he almost always accompanies his confessions with —good reasons?? for his lies. He tells us he only lied because??_. We tell ourselves he only lied because??_. We make excuses for him: The lying wasn't significant/Everybody lies/He's only human/I have no right to judge him.
Allowing the lies to register in our consciousness means having to make room for any number of frightening possibilities:
?? He's not the man I thought he was.
?? The relationship has spun out of control and I don't know what to do
?? The relationship may be over.
Most women will do almost anything to avoid having to face these truths. Even if we yell and scream at him when we discover that he's lied to us, once the dust settles, most of us will opt for the comforting territory of rationalization. In fact, many of us are willing to rewire our senses, short-circuit our instincts and intelligence, and accept the seductive comfort of self-delusion.
When your lover is a liar, you and he have a lot in common, you're both lying to you!