Narc mother, any advice?

Profile picture of Gemini98
Gemini98
@Gemini98
8 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 1 · Topics: 1
My mum is an Aries and I am a Gemini. Apparently when I was a baby me and my mum were really close but I find that very hard to believe now. As if she wasn't my mum I think I would not be able to find any reason to like her as she has all the personality traits of someone I don't like. From when I was younger I realised how my mum loved to be the centre of attention. No matter who's party or event it was she would somehow manage to take centre stage and interrupt everyone. I would always notice the sideways glances she would receive. As I got older we grew apart as I started to develop my own individual personality. It's like she can't understand one parenting style will not fit all her daughters. I have four sisters. Any time I try speak to her it ends up being about her so I would stop and then she would complain about how I never talk to her I must hate her etc. Any time I do anything for myself it becomes how I'm so selfish and I never consider her feelings. I can't take her seriously as each of my sisters has gone through this, even the one who did the absolute most for my mum. In an argument she will bring up something you did years ago or how hard her life has been. My only chance of leaving the house was for uni and she refused to sign the papers. She didn't tell us when she was going to get married and got married in another country without any of us. Then came back with her new husband and expected us to accept it because she was 'happy' and we were selfish if we objected. She tries any way she can to get a reaction from me, as I've grown older I've learned not react to her. So now she tries to make me cut off all my friends, she won't let me out, taken all my makeup, she's in charge of my finances. Even now I still won't let her get a reaction out of me. She says I'm cold and unloving towards her but this woman never hugs or kisses any of us. She never tells us any positive affirmations but expects the opposite towards her? Recently I told her a friend died and that's why I've been struggling at uni. In which she proceeded to tell me how her mum had died of cancer and she managed to cope. She practically forces me to speak to her but at this point why would I want to. I feel that she is a fraud. I don't believe when she says she's hurt or upset cause moments later she will be laughing about the situation to her husband making sly digs about me. She does not know how to empathise with anyone but wants everyone else to feel sorry for her. There's so many examples I can give of her behaviour. I don't know how else to make living with her bearable because the more I don't react the more she does to get to me.