On-again,Off-again Relationships

1. Have you ever been in one and for how long?
2. How many times have you broken up and what were the reasons?
3. What made you to keep trying or Do you wanna stop trying and why?
4. Did things change after each breakup?The love or the general "feel" of the relationship.
5. Were the ons more than the offs or the other way around?
6. Is the on/off a pattern with you or is it just one relationship in particular?

I have had two both lasted seven years. The libra gal was my high school sweetheart so it stands to reason that we were both immature. My picses ex wow i dont even know where to begin. We would break up for ten minutes or ten day every month. I'd get hurt then shut her out. She couldn't handle that so she would explode. Break up followed by makeup sex then repeat the cycle for seven years. The inbetween times were good bordering on great.

Did the "makeup sex" contribute to the vicious cycle, in your opinion? Would you have lasted that long if it werent for the breaks? I've notice that on/of relationships have a tendency to go on for years compared to the steady ones. Just my observation, not saying its a proven fact or study.

libraCUSP, thats interesting. The common thing that all these relationships have is the makeup sex, wouldnt you agree? Does that mean "normal" sex or the relationship itself is boring and the fights are created to spice things up?

Look at all the troublesome relationships in history ie. Frank Sinatra and Ava Gardner, Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton etc, all they seem to do was fight and have great sex. Avd once was quoted saying something about them being great in bed together and outside of the bedroom they pushed one another's buttons. Its like all needed drama or something to keep things interesting, which makes me wonder if things were peaceful would they stuck around together for that long?

Ninja, what do you mean by "sucked away"? Did you feel out of control or helpless in how the relationship turned out?

1. Have you ever been in one and for how long?
There was one particular libra, went out for two years, better half of the year was a bit back and forth breaking up and making up.

2. How many times have you broken up and what were the reasons?
For a while there is was almost every fortnight over stupid reasons like not paying attention to each other over little things. "You didn't buy me a coffee", "You were too loud" etc

3. What made you to keep trying or Do you wanna stop trying and why?
Kinda wanted to prove myself it can work it's a strange reasoning but I thought she was what I needed at the time too after the previous relationship ended. Shit happens.

4. Did things change after each breakup?The love or the general "feel" of the relationship.
Not really for however bad the breakups took place the love felt amazing every time. We've come to a conclusion to leave each other alone though because it was too much on either of us. Best not to see each other just in case anything happens again.

5. Were the ons more than the offs or the other way around?
Bit of both, If I took off she'd be the sweet one and vice versa so I guess both a little stubborn in wanting it to work.

6. Is the on/off a pattern with you or is it just one relationship in particular?
Just this one in particular. Chalking it up to singing the same tune at different paces.

One other thing I've noticed about on/off relationships is that they are usually with people who piss us of the most aka push our buttons the hardest, which makes me wonder if the reason for "trying again" is just a ruse for conquering them or making them be what we want them to be. Its a challenge so maybe we keep trying and trying just to come up on top as "winners". Thats how im seeing it.

Personally, i've had one such relationship and it was with whom i consider to be the biggest arsehole in the face of the earth. I asked myself many times why i returned to him and my answer was love. Tbh i dont think its "love', i think it was love of the challenge. He challenged me like no other and i think i "loved" him for that reason while subconciously all i wanted was to conquer him or whatever. Just a thought. He has called me "a bitch from hell" and i asked him if im such a terrible person then why do you return and he said because he loves me, but sometimes he'd say things like "nobody has ever said the things you've said to me", me being extremely mean to him. All of this leads me to conclude that, all the drama in these relationships is solely to find out the victor, the one who will make the other bend or something. Too much thoughts loo, i'll stop now.

True, ninja. May i ask why you thought you loved him, if you have reasons? True or false, was he the most challenging out of all your previous lovers?

See, this is what im trying to understand... Why is it ALWAYS the difficult ones that we do these things with? I get and understand what you mean there in the 1st part of your post and yeah, letting go is the best solution. Love indeed is never an enough reason to stick around in a situation that goes nowhere.

You are mentally over, but are you over it emotionally, just curious?

Yeah, its him and it upsets me that i cant just totally remove him from my life like all the others. I want to with all my heart, but i cant simply because its either *he* bothers me or *i* bother myself about him. I feel kinda trapped, not physically but emotionally. I wish somebody could gag and bound him to stop him from disturbing me AND i wish there was a magic pill i could drink to stop myself from liking him. I'm not with him anymore and im glad, but i all everything else to stop and go away.

*in the last line i meant, all i want is everything else to stop and go away.

I'm glad you found peace lol... I wish. Me and him finally broke up in 2004. Prio to that it was on/off for 2 years and we would break up over the dumbest shit eg. we were supposed to go out watch a movie and he kept me waiting for an hour lying and telling me that he was just around the corner. He called me on the phone and i answered like "im fucking sick n tired of waiting, where are you"?, he said, "what!?" dropped the phone and returned to his house & never bothered to tell me lol. I was SO unbelievably angry and we broke up for about a month for that one, etc. Ever since our official we never became a couple again, but we kept contact all these years, on/off of course because we would still fight even thou we werent a couple. Its all weird. During our off period as friends, he would call using different numbers just to hear me say "hello" the hang up. He admitted that he just wanted to hear my voice even thou he at the time wasnt ready to fix whatever issue we had, which explains the hang ups. Tbh, its a mutual obsession thing and i wish i could make it stop. Whoo, now i feel naked lol. I'm not comfortable talking about him so i'll stop there. No more questions about him, haha.

BR, what sign was he?

How many breaks ups would you consider on/off? My scorp ex and I broke up three times in our two year relationship. While I initiated it all times, I normally wouldn't go back after the second time (I usually have to try it out twice to make sure I made the right decision because I'm too emotionally involved).

Um, the first time was because he was flirting with other girls because he 'wasn't getting enough attention from me'. Second time, I don't remember. Third and final because I lost the feelings I used to have for him after coming back the second time.

There was something special about him and he was my first love. I realized that I was willing to put up with some shit so that we could be together. He made mistakes just as I have, and he loved me, too, or at least he convinced himself he did.

Nothing changed after the first break up. We actually got a bit closer to each other. But, after the second break up, my feelings were pretty much turned off. I wanted to feel the excitement, passion, love for him that I did before, but it just wasn't there.

We were on more than off.

As stated earlier, it seems I usually go back to an ex that I liked a lot or loved to see if I made the right choice (I've only been in two long terms, sooo, idk yet). I hope I get to a point where I'm mentally strong enough to not do that. I've never been dumped, so the obvious answer is that it's me who's causing all of this.

As far as make up sex...the scorp was not the best in bed, so no wonderful make up sex. I wasn't with him for sex, but I'd say it might have contributed to my unhappiness which helped me to reach the decision to leave. Not the sole thing, nor the most important thing, however.

Posted by WaterCup
Did the "makeup sex" contribute to the vicious cycle, in your opinion? Would you have lasted that long if it werent for the breaks? I've notice that on/of relationships have a tendency to go on for years compared to the steady ones. Just my observation, not saying its a proven fact or study.

Yes it was the whole chase thing. If there wasnt the smaller blow ups it would have built up to something huge. Not sure if the make up sex had much to do with with the cycle other than it was intense.

Sugaries, you hid your post but i already know who you wrote about lol. Let me sake a look at my c-c-crystal boll... Sadge guy! It looks like there are insane combos never to be messed with in all elements ie. Aqua woman/libra guy, virgo guy/taurus woman, aries woman/sadge guy. These 3 pairings always come up a lot for being torturous to the people involved. Hmmm...

Posted by WaterCup
1. Have you ever been in one and for how long?
2. How many times have you broken up and what were the reasons?
3. What made you to keep trying or Do you wanna stop trying and why?
4. Did things change after each breakup?The love or the general "feel" of the relationship.
5. Were the ons more than the offs or the other way around?
6. Is the on/off a pattern with you or is it just one relationship in particular?

1. Yes, with my libra. It's been 9 years.
2. I don't even know...at least 3 or 4 times... It pretty much all boils down to we were young and immature.
3. I felt a deep unexplainable connection to him. I don't want to sound cliche and say I knew he was my soulmate but something very similar. I tried to date other people when we'd break up but no one even came close. Also get never let it go and something about his belief in us and perserverance inspired be regardless how we fought.
4. Yes each time we got back together things improved. Its like lessons were learned each time.
5. More on than off. And we were never off for too long. say out if the 9 years a solid 7 we were "on."
The longest we were off was about 9 months I guess. We were in contact though he would call and write letters.
6. He's the only ex I've taken back.

He* not get and me** not be....

On my phone :/

Libra men are evil lol

Posted by WaterCup
One other thing I've noticed about on/off relationships is that they are usually with people who piss us of the most aka push our buttons the hardest, which makes me wonder if the reason for "trying again" is just a ruse for conquering them or making them be what we want them to be. Its a challenge so maybe we keep trying and trying just to come up on top as "winners". Thats how im seeing it.

Personally, i've had one such relationship and it was with whom i consider to be the biggest arsehole in the face of the earth. I asked myself many times why i returned to him and my answer was love. Tbh i dont think its "love', i think it was love of the challenge. He challenged me like no other and i think i "loved" him for that reason while subconciously all i wanted was to conquer him or whatever. Just a thought. He has called me "a bitch from hell" and i asked him if im such a terrible person then why do you return and he said because he loves me, but sometimes he'd say things like "nobody has ever said the things you've said to me", me being extremely mean to him. All of this leads me to conclude that, all the drama in these relationships is solely to find out the victor, the one who will make the other bend or something. Too much thoughts loo, i'll stop now.

Ok why is it that you and I are so much alike?? I know we have some of the same placements but damn we even kinda look similar :\

to me relationships are a challenge I cant let my BFs get the better of me I always have to come out on top....and I'm always accused of being a vindictive cunt and saying hurtful things when I'm not even the one who starts the shit in the first place........I need a boyfriend that bends.... well I kinda too have a Bf that bends, he was my first Bf but ill never admit hes my BF cos then that would give him too much satisfaction were just so different I'm like a spiritual, artistic, performer type that cant hold a job longer than a year and he's like rich boy university grad who does advertising.....you could say hes my on/off BF I only like seeing him once a year if he's lucky....the thing i like about him is that he's always happy to see me..

Lol @ your whole post, 11. If he is lucky!? Shame poor guy

EEE, you know what i mean. Its like when an obese man has a nickname like, Tiny. Denial *sigh*

I really dont think libra men are cruel, but they do have this "special" thing that catches even the most elusive woman... its so hard to break away from. Hard to describe. Its similar to being caught in a spider's web lol. I hate them for that and dont think i would ever let myself be near any libra man ever again. I dont like the feeling of being "caught" lol. I hurl insults because there's nothing else to do, im caught!

Well, im frowning upon that one, its not fair... you guys must come with a warning sign or something lol.

Ooh, i dont know, do other signs have an ace card? I know aquas have the ability to make people feel special, like you are "the chosen" one or w/t, but the feeling doesn last, it only happens when the aqua is around.

Ninja, i hope you're not being a hater here lol, we can totally do that. We only need to ask people their names, talk to them a little and they are there grinning & feeling like the lion of judah. Haha

Yeah EEE, ur right, people wanna bathe in it. I'm sure some wish they could steal it lol.

You look cute btw, ninja.

Ninja, whats your sign's specialty?

Ninja, its all about making people feel great. Others may put you down, but an aqua will always manage to find that one great thing about you. The "cute" comment wasnt even about that, its like this... sometimes i may look at a thing/person, but not actually see. I've looked at your avi a million times, but today i REALLY looked at it + your other pics and ur cute.

EEE, but is it ok to pee in it, thou? That water gets so nice and warm & you dont feel like standing up to go handle such petty business.

Ninja, my sun is a singleton so i cant help nor stop being jerked around by the uranian energy. I didnt even know that you were uranian but there's something i liked about one pic you used before, the one with the cat. It was kinda creepy and nice at the same... I like when things confuse me like that.

EEE, stepping out to pee (TAKING OUT WATER) while ur (IN WATER) having a nice bath IS petty business. Its like being in the ocean, feel a pee coming and come out of the to find a toilet. Its pointless. I've never peed in my bath water thou lol, coz i usually make sure that my bladder is empty before bathing. But i would totally do it, why waste time?

Natural salts. Enough said

Why buy fancy bottles of bathing salts when u can keep it eco-friendly and green? Well yellow in this case, but im sure you kwim.

Ever heard of scented body lotions like Dawn? Or even perfume?

I'm sure that could be managed lol, the crystalized pee thing. My sadge venus wouldnt mind that at all, its not fussy... the more natural things are the better. Are you into this "think green" stuff and what have you done to be friendly to Mother Earth?

I'm sure that could be managed lol, the crystalized pee thing. My sadge venus wouldnt mind that at all, its not fussy... the more natural things are the better. Are you into this "think green" stuff and what have you done to be friendly to Mother Earth?

usually on and off for me