Wedding presents - gifts or cash?

I read an interesting topic somewhere else, where people were complaining about the invites, where the bride and groom invited them to the evening reception only (?) or generally, invited, and the invite said, give us cash (in a funny poem)

I think its really tacky to ask for cash or even for gifts

on the other hand, if you have million toasters and picture-frames, you really dont need more and can use cash...

but asking for it in the invite?

opinions? have this ever happened to you? how did you react?

Edit: do you think there are some signs - planets - placements, what can be connected to this?

that is so tacky lol they should of just put a link to their gofund me

Cash

Posted by Leowwwww
Asking for anything as a wedding gift is in very poor taste.

Obviously you don't show up empty handed, but that's up to you, the wedding guest, to decide.

I worked in the wedding industry for years, I'm pretty sure I've seen it all.

From the bridal party expecting guests to help finance their wedding... to guests being ridiculed for showing up with gifts instead of 💵

working in the wedding industry must have been crazy with bridezillas and crazy parents and insane expectations about the wedding day..... I can imagine how frustrating it is, if you are blamed for everything what went on, because the parties were not real..

what is your most compelling story? or most bizarre?

Posted by CaramelizedCoffee
We give cash in my culture

my family gives cash, but its half-half with the other wedding guests

I usually give cash nearly for all ocassions (weddings, birthdays, a

but, my good friend says, its impersonal, like you didnt put enough effort into it

I say its their choice to buy something nice, what they really need

PS. But what if people are strapped for cash and a nice and cheap present is something people can give without feeling embarassed and if they would give the cash equivalent of that nice and cheap present, it would look... well, cheap? like you can buy a nice present for 5 euro, or for 10,20,50 ..... but if you give the money, it looks... not enough sometimes? what is the right thing to do in that case? if its not a family

Posted by CaramelizedCoffee

Posted by Pandora101

Posted by CaramelizedCoffee
We give cash in my culture

my family gives cash, but its half-half with the other wedding guests

I usually give cash nearly for all ocassions (weddings, birthdays, a

but, my good friend says, its impersonal, like you didnt put enough effort into it

I say its their choice to buy something nice, what they really need

PS. But what if people are strapped for cash and a nice and cheap present is something people can give without feeling embarassed and if they would give the cash equivalent of that nice and cheap present, it would look... well, cheap? like you can buy a nice present for 5 euro, or for 10,20,50 ..... but if you give the money, it looks... not enough sometimes? what is the right thing to do in that case? if its not a family

Give cash. Nothing trumps cash.

Make sure you write your name in very bold

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😄 😄

"make sure you write your name in very bold" - hilarious 🙂

Cash! And only cash!!!

Imagine ending up with 100 pieces of shit you don’t need, dont like, have already 10 of those...shlepping all these boxes to your home to open up and go...shit!!!

Yes! Asking for it is tacky! But apparently they know that many guests are going to buy a huge vase in dollar store and come with a huge box with a bow looking proud of themselves and eat lobster and fillet mignon as if it was a peanut butter sandwich!

I know I’m one culture people have a gathering a few days before the wedding and bring cash and being written down on a list. So there is no $ 5 gifts! Trust me! No one wants to look like cheap shit!

Can’t afford it - politely decline invitation due to a future flu. Lol

Of course I’ve been told it’s a mentality of a poor people. You have to throw the wedding uou can afford without looking for financial support from people.

However I don’t want boxes of crap anyway!

My friend had 2 empty envelopes at her wedding! No name of course! Lmao

Posted by Timon

Posted by Pandora101

Posted by CaramelizedCoffee
We give cash in my culture

my family gives cash, but its half-half with the other wedding guests

I usually give cash nearly for all ocassions (weddings, birthdays, a

but, my good friend says, its impersonal, like you didnt put enough effort into it

I say its their choice to buy something nice, what they really need

PS. But what if people are strapped for cash and a nice and cheap present is something people can give without feeling embarassed and if they would give the cash equivalent of that nice and cheap present, it would look... well, cheap? like you can buy a nice present for 5 euro, or for 10,20,50 ..... but if you give the money, it looks... not enough sometimes? what is the right thing to do in that case? if its not a family

As a guest I think it's best to give what the bride and groom appreciate the most but nobody should go broke over a gift. This actually made me remember an article about a couple that ended up fighting with guests because they weren't happy with the gift they got lol. I have to see if I can find the article. 😆

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I agree that no one should go broke over the gift but do you order $ 50 meal at the restaurant having $ 10 in your pocket?

Here we go!

Imho, unless you agree with the newlyweds before on what to buy, it's most practical to just give out cash. For me as well as for them. Like who's got time running through stores for a wedding gift....

Posted by Timon

Posted by Gemitati

Posted by Timon

Posted by Pandora101

Posted by CaramelizedCoffee
We give cash in my culture

my family gives cash, but its half-half with the other wedding guests

I usually give cash nearly for all ocassions (weddings, birthdays, a

but, my good friend says, its impersonal, like you didnt put enough effort into it

I say its their choice to buy something nice, what they really need

PS. But what if people are strapped for cash and a nice and cheap present is something people can give without feeling embarassed and if they would give the cash equivalent of that nice and cheap present, it would look... well, cheap? like you can buy a nice present for 5 euro, or for 10,20,50 ..... but if you give the money, it looks... not enough sometimes? what is the right thing to do in that case? if its not a family

As a guest I think it's best to give what the bride and groom appreciate the most but nobody should go broke over a gift. This actually made me remember an article about a couple that ended up fighting with guests because they weren't happy with the gift they got lol. I have to see if I can find the article. 😆

I agree that no one should go broke over the gift but do you order $ 50 meal at the restaurant having $ 10 in your pocket?

Here we go!

You're attending a wedding hopefully to celebrate the newlyweds not for the food.

click to expand

I know. It’s true if we were living as tribes in a woods!

My friends daughter getting married. Very close friend. So we had asked straight forward how much she will pay per plate.

She told us. However they are paying for a lot more than food but no one expects to share that cost!

Out of respect we will try to at least make our meals covered. If we will be able - we thinking $ 500- $ 1000. For 3 of us.

Just because we want to celebrate with them and give something extra out of love.

Not a frigging toaster!

Posted by Timon

Posted by Gemitati

Posted by Timon

Posted by Pandora101

Posted by CaramelizedCoffee
We give cash in my culture

my family gives cash, but its half-half with the other wedding guests

I usually give cash nearly for all ocassions (weddings, birthdays, a

but, my good friend says, its impersonal, like you didnt put enough effort into it

I say its their choice to buy something nice, what they really need

PS. But what if people are strapped for cash and a nice and cheap present is something people can give without feeling embarassed and if they would give the cash equivalent of that nice and cheap present, it would look... well, cheap? like you can buy a nice present for 5 euro, or for 10,20,50 ..... but if you give the money, it looks... not enough sometimes? what is the right thing to do in that case? if its not a family

As a guest I think it's best to give what the bride and groom appreciate the most but nobody should go broke over a gift. This actually made me remember an article about a couple that ended up fighting with guests because they weren't happy with the gift they got lol. I have to see if I can find the article. 😆

I agree that no one should go broke over the gift but do you order $ 50 meal at the restaurant having $ 10 in your pocket?

Here we go!

And if I was the bride I would rather have my family and friends attend giving me nothing than staying home because they can't afford to give me a gift. If I invite someone I cover the expenses. Those are my expenses. I don't expect my guests to cover them.

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I understand that as well. Apparently as I said more people have poor people minds. Depends on your upbringing. I guess.

Posted by Timon
Ah I found it. The message exchanges are hilarious. This is what the bride wrote:

"I’m not sure if it’s the first wedding you have been to, but for your next wedding ... people give envelopes. I lost out on $ 200 covering you and your dates plate ... and got fluffy whip and sour patch kids in return. Just a heads-up for the future."

😂😂😂

For the rest of the messages exchanged see the link.

https://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/3472842

holy sh...t!! unreal 😄 😄

Posted by Gemitati

Posted by Timon

Posted by Gemitati

Posted by Timon

Posted by Pandora101

Posted by CaramelizedCoffee
We give cash in my culture

my family gives cash, but its half-half with the other wedding guests

I usually give cash nearly for all ocassions (weddings, birthdays, a

but, my good friend says, its impersonal, like you didnt put enough effort into it

I say its their choice to buy something nice, what they really need

PS. But what if people are strapped for cash and a nice and cheap present is something people can give without feeling embarassed and if they would give the cash equivalent of that nice and cheap present, it would look... well, cheap? like you can buy a nice present for 5 euro, or for 10,20,50 ..... but if you give the money, it looks... not enough sometimes? what is the right thing to do in that case? if its not a family

As a guest I think it's best to give what the bride and groom appreciate the most but nobody should go broke over a gift. This actually made me remember an article about a couple that ended up fighting with guests because they weren't happy with the gift they got lol. I have to see if I can find the article. 😆

I agree that no one should go broke over the gift but do you order $ 50 meal at the restaurant having $ 10 in your pocket?

Here we go!

You're attending a wedding hopefully to celebrate the newlyweds not for the food.

I know. It’s true if we were living as tribes in a woods!

My friends daughter getting married. Very close friend. So we had asked straight forward how much she will pay per plate.

She told us. However they are paying for a lot more than food but no one expects to share that cost!

Out of respect we will try to at least make our meals covered. If we will be able - we thinking $ 500- $ 1000. For 3 of us.

Just because we want to celebrate with them and give something extra out of love.

Not a frigging toaster!

click to expand

"If we will be able - we thinking $ 500- $ 1000. For 3 of us. "

Gemi, in what circles are you mingling? 😄 give us some high-end gossip, pronto!! 😄

1000? very generous

but for most people unrealistic and I would give this kind of money only for my brother´s wedding

fortunately, my brother is a normal person, who plans to have his wedding intimate, nothing flashy, so the money I give them will go towards.... actually, I dont know, their life, I guess... definitely not to some overpriced restaurant 😉

but, its a choice, and everybody is entitled to have their dream wedding at the Ivy or Windsor, or similar 😄

Edit: considering, they are able to afford it and dont rely on the guests to fund it

I agree, elementary courtesy is to cover the price of the plate, so to speak.... but not if the bride and/groom are unreasonable

Posted by Pandora101

Posted by Gemitati

Posted by Timon

Posted by Gemitati

Posted by Timon

Posted by Pandora101

Posted by CaramelizedCoffee
We give cash in my culture

my family gives cash, but its half-half with the other wedding guests

I usually give cash nearly for all ocassions (weddings, birthdays, a

but, my good friend says, its impersonal, like you didnt put enough effort into it

I say its their choice to buy something nice, what they really need

PS. But what if people are strapped for cash and a nice and cheap present is something people can give without feeling embarassed and if they would give the cash equivalent of that nice and cheap present, it would look... well, cheap? like you can buy a nice present for 5 euro, or for 10,20,50 ..... but if you give the money, it looks... not enough sometimes? what is the right thing to do in that case? if its not a family

As a guest I think it's best to give what the bride and groom appreciate the most but nobody should go broke over a gift. This actually made me remember an article about a couple that ended up fighting with guests because they weren't happy with the gift they got lol. I have to see if I can find the article. 😆

I agree that no one should go broke over the gift but do you order $ 50 meal at the restaurant having $ 10 in your pocket?

Here we go!

You're attending a wedding hopefully to celebrate the newlyweds not for the food.

I know. It’s true if we were living as tribes in a woods!

My friends daughter getting married. Very close friend. So we had asked straight forward how much she will pay per plate.

She told us. However they are paying for a lot more than food but no one expects to share that cost!

Out of respect we will try to at least make our meals covered. If we will be able - we thinking $ 500- $ 1000. For 3 of us.

Just because we want to celebrate with them and give something extra out of love.

Not a frigging toaster!

"If we will be able - we thinking $ 500- $ 1000. For 3 of us. "

Gemi, in what circles are you mingling? 😄 give us some high-end gossip, pronto!! 😄

1000? very generous

but for most people unrealistic and I would give this kind of money only for my brother´s wedding

fortunately, my brother is a normal person, who plans to have his wedding intimate, nothing flashy, so the money I give them will go towards.... actually, I dont know, their life, I guess... definitely not to some overpriced restaurant 😉

but, its a choice, and everybody is entitled to have their dream wedding at the Ivy or Windsor, or similar 😄

Edit: considering, they are able to afford it and dont rely on the guests to fund it

I agree, elementary courtesy is to cover the price of the plate, so to speak.... but not if the bride and/groom are unreasonable

click to expand

If I tell you - they will kill you! Lmao

And yes we consider her a niece. We are very close. And we have $ 1000 to nieces and all the weddings less than flushy! It’s not about showing off. It’s just that if you know someone for life!!!

Our bdays gifts are $ 300 per couple or more depends on a venue...so...weddings are hopefully once in a life time!

Posted by North_Cackalacky

Posted by Pandora101
I think its really tacky to ask for cash or even for gifts

on the other hand, if you have million toasters and picture-frames, you really dont need more and can use cash...

but asking for it in the invite?

Yeah...asking in the invite is tacky and kind of rude, even. I doubt I have much room to talk though; a good lump of guests seemed surprisingly offended that most of our wedding registry listed our favorite charities if they wanted to donate to them? Perhaps they were offended that we encouraged them to toss their money to better places, since we already had our kitchen and bathroom stuff stocked with the crap we could handle. To practically beg for a handout in the invite, though? That would seem pretty off-putting to me if I were the recipient. :-/

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I see.... asking people how to express their desire to give anything and in what form it should be is nearly always leads to some kind of resentment.... it may seem to them like the host are trying to control their goodwill and imagination

I think listing favorite charities is a lovely thing

but, guests have their own mind, and all of them at it 🙂

it really seems any suggestions about gifts or cash or donations are received with a resentment towards it, however reasonable the suggestions may seem

early conclusion: brides and grooms had to put up with unnecessary vases, toasters, vases for centuries... and the guests are happy about it.... and sometimes in between the newlyweds got a valuable gift (not always a pricey one, sometimes just a thoughtful one)

PS. maybe, if the bride and groom really set their sight on some type of gift (like cash, or donations, or register for specifics), its always wise to let the best man/bridesmaid or the parents or best friends spread the word to the others, what the happy birds would want, and not to put it agressively on the invite

but yeah, cash is a very good gift.... if nobody asks for it

Posted by North_Cackalacky

Posted by Pandora101

Posted by North_Cackalacky

Posted by Pandora101
I think its really tacky to ask for cash or even for gifts

on the other hand, if you have million toasters and picture-frames, you really dont need more and can use cash...

but asking for it in the invite?

Yeah...asking in the invite is tacky and kind of rude, even. I doubt I have much room to talk though; a good lump of guests seemed surprisingly offended that most of our wedding registry listed our favorite charities if they wanted to donate to them? Perhaps they were offended that we encouraged them to toss their money to better places, since we already had our kitchen and bathroom stuff stocked with the crap we could handle. To practically beg for a handout in the invite, though? That would seem pretty off-putting to me if I were the recipient. :-/

I see.... asking people how to express their desire to give anything and in what form it should be is nearly always leads to some kind of resentment.... it may seem to them like the host are trying to control their goodwill and imagination

I think listing favorite charities is a lovely thing

but, guests have their own mind, and all of them at it 🙂

it really seems any suggestions about gifts or cash or donations are received with a resentment towards it, however reasonable the suggestions may seem

early conclusion: brides and grooms had to put up with unnecessary vases, toasters, vases for centuries... and the guests are happy about it.... and sometimes in between the newlyweds got a valuable gift (not always a pricey one, sometimes just a thoughtful one)

PS. maybe, if the bride and groom really set their sight on some type of gift (like cash, or donations, or register for specifics), its always wise to let the best man/bridesmaid or the parents or best friends spread the word to the others, what the happy birds would want, and not to put it agressively on the invite

but yeah, cash is a very good gift.... if nobody asks for it

LOL! I can't even imagine what a trainwreck the gifts would be if we'd left it to our best man or the others in the party to get the word out. Our friends are real life trolls.

I could see them having fun suggesting very uncomfortable purchases to the guests, like lube.

click to expand

😄

it seems you are an unconventional couple not saddened with prejudices and your friends are the same 🙂 but it seems some of the guest were not that kind

you ment well, and it sounds you have some awesome friends, thats the real gift 🙂

Posted by Leowwwww

Posted by Pandora101

Posted by Leowwwww
Asking for anything as a wedding gift is in very poor taste.

Obviously you don't show up empty handed, but that's up to you, the wedding guest, to decide.

I worked in the wedding industry for years, I'm pretty sure I've seen it all.

From the bridal party expecting guests to help finance their wedding... to guests being ridiculed for showing up with gifts instead of 💵

working in the wedding industry must have been crazy with bridezillas and crazy parents and insane expectations about the wedding day..... I can imagine how frustrating it is, if you are blamed for everything what went on, because the parties were not real..

what is your most compelling story? or most bizarre?

You're paid extremely well and you don't have a life of your own. You're working all the time, you don't have actual time to enjoy your time off.

( no weekends from March to January or regular steady time off schedule)

That sums it up. You don't have set working hours, you must be creative, innovative, organized, hard working and available.

You must love what you do.

Bizarre events :

The one with ~ TOW

Bride that was nicknamed princess, we alll had to call her that. No it wasn't her actual name.

Fist fight between the bride and her maid of honor before their entrance to the wedding reception hall

The Maître D fvcking the mother of the groom (both got very drunk) and were found having a go in the sweet table tent.

The bride and groom didn't care for each other, it was odd she was pissed whenever the wedding photographer would insist they make kissing pictures...& her groom kept calling her a bitch.

"stop being such a bitch...."

Awkward.

Honestly so many, I'm probably not even bringing up the most crazy / interesting ones.

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"The Maître D fvcking the mother of the groom (both got very drunk) and were found having a go in the sweet table tent."

OMG, that is hilarious 😄

I can imagine how frustrating that at the time would be, to smooth over things on duty, but these stories are pure gold, I think you should write a book about your experiences, with the title: Call me Princess (a real life bridezilla story)

Cash is too impersonal, it just doesn't feel right