Bull-ish
@Boots1313
7 Years1,000+ Posts
Comments: 2429 · Posts: 2637 · Topics: 65
Opinion: can you work on yourself while in a relationship?
I'd argue with the right partner you can accelerate that growth rate.
Posted by LadyNeptune
I'd argue with the right partner you can accelerate that growth rate.
This.
The right partner will help you communicate your triggers and work with you to find solutions. They will also motivate you as well.
Posted by LadyNeptune
I'd argue with the right partner you can accelerate that growth rate.
Your boyfriend went through a growth period with you when you guys first got together right?
Also i agree with you. Depends on the person you are with
Posted by Koni
I say yes. If people all worked on themselves only outside of relationships, there would be no relationships. We are all flawed.
I know so many people who left good relationships to "work on themselves". I dont get that ideology, but to each their own. A lot of them now would rather be single tho...maybe a pride thing or a selfishness things. Want to do their things their way without consulting or considering another person
Posted by nikkistarPosted by LadyNeptune
I'd argue with the right partner you can accelerate that growth rate.
This.
The right partner will help you communicate your triggers and work with you to find solutions. They will also motivate you as well.click to expand
Absolutely agree
Posted by ImpulsvPosted by Boots1313Posted by Koni
I say yes. If people all worked on themselves only outside of relationships, there would be no relationships. We are all flawed.
I know so many people who left good relationships to "work on themselves". I dont get that ideology, but to each their own. A lot of them now would rather be single tho...maybe a pride thing or a selfishness things. Want to do their things their way without consulting or considering another person
Maybe the relationship was done
No love there anymore
n instead are setting partner free n themselves to open up to love again instead of settling
Many reasons not just selfishness
Maybe that wan to lead an authentic life.click to expand
I guess that kind of sounded catty...maybe wrong choice of words. However this particular person im thinking of is a little selfish tho...but obviously this isnt everyone.
Posted by Boots1313Posted by LadyNeptune
I'd argue with the right partner you can accelerate that growth rate.
Your boyfriend went through a growth period with you when you guys first got together right?
Also i agree with you. Depends on the person you are withclick to expand
I did too.
We both have motivated each other in our careers.
When I met him he was unemployed (if you don't count the side hustle) and I was stuck at a dead end job.
We both encouraged each other to go after something better.
It also helps that he worked in sales (just switched over to project manager position) cause we both understood that when the call comes you gotta drop everything and go after the sale.
No hurt feels.
I've never been in a good relationship, they all seemed distracting
I think we're always working on ourselves. Learning about each other, adapting, compromising and trying to understand and meet each others needs. If you don't recognize the flaws within yourself and grow, then you'll find yourself in the same situation over and over again. Life is a learning process. No one is perfect and no one has it all figured out ever. There's always obstacles and challenges and we're always changing and evolving.
Posted by Black-MambaPosted by Boots1313Posted by Koni
I say yes. If people all worked on themselves only outside of relationships, there would be no relationships. We are all flawed.
I know so many people who left good relationships to "work on themselves". I dont get that ideology, but to each their own. A lot of them now would rather be single tho...maybe a pride thing or a selfishness things. Want to do their things their way without consulting or considering another person
Youre way to codependent
Focusing solely on a relationship means losing yourself
click to expand
No one ever said focusing soley on a relationship.
Also i know im co dependent ...im working on it. I actually think ive made great strides.
Posted by Black-MambaPosted by Boots1313Posted by ImpulsvPosted by Boots1313Posted by Koni
I say yes. If people all worked on themselves only outside of relationships, there would be no relationships. We are all flawed.
I know so many people who left good relationships to "work on themselves". I dont get that ideology, but to each their own. A lot of them now would rather be single tho...maybe a pride thing or a selfishness things. Want to do their things their way without consulting or considering another person
Maybe the relationship was done
No love there anymore
n instead are setting partner free n themselves to open up to love again instead of settling
Many reasons not just selfishness
Maybe that wan to lead an authentic life.
I guess that kind of sounded catty...maybe wrong choice of words. However this particular person im thinking of is a little selfish tho...but obviously this isnt everyone.
There's nothing wrong with being selfishclick to expand
In certain aspects sure. But i thibk beibg in a healthy relationship comes alot of compromise and selflessness.
Might be why youre single...
Posted by Black-MambaPosted by TxOgal
I've never been in a good relationship, they all seemed distracting
Me neitherclick to expand
You're young still...your mentality will change
Posted by Black-MambaPosted by Boots1313Posted by Black-MambaPosted by Boots1313Posted by ImpulsvPosted by Boots1313Posted by Koni
I say yes. If people all worked on themselves only outside of relationships, there would be no relationships. We are all flawed.
I know so many people who left good relationships to "work on themselves". I dont get that ideology, but to each their own. A lot of them now would rather be single tho...maybe a pride thing or a selfishness things. Want to do their things their way without consulting or considering another person
Maybe the relationship was done
No love there anymore
n instead are setting partner free n themselves to open up to love again instead of settling
Many reasons not just selfishness
Maybe that wan to lead an authentic life.
I guess that kind of sounded catty...maybe wrong choice of words. However this particular person im thinking of is a little selfish tho...but obviously this isnt everyone.
There's nothing wrong with being selfish
In certain aspects sure. But i thibk beibg in a healthy relationship comes alot of compromise and selflessness.
Might be why youre single...
No that's not the reason, but when i read you i feel like it's the 1950
Complete turnoffclick to expand
I like traditional.
Different strokes for different folks.
Posted by Black-MambaPosted by Boots1313Posted by Black-MambaPosted by TxOgal
I've never been in a good relationship, they all seemed distracting
Me neither
You're young still...your mentality will change
No it won't. I've never been in a relationship where i didn't lose myself
I Dont like it. I abhor it
A good relationship to me is where i grow
I was too busy making someone else happy instead of myselfclick to expand
Again to each their own.
Maybe you arent meant for a relationship. Thats fine too.
Posted by ImpulsvPosted by Boots1313Posted by Black-MambaPosted by Boots1313Posted by ImpulsvPosted by Boots1313Posted by Koni
I say yes. If people all worked on themselves only outside of relationships, there would be no relationships. We are all flawed.
I know so many people who left good relationships to "work on themselves". I dont get that ideology, but to each their own. A lot of them now would rather be single tho...maybe a pride thing or a selfishness things. Want to do their things their way without consulting or considering another person
Maybe the relationship was done
No love there anymore
n instead are setting partner free n themselves to open up to love again instead of settling
Many reasons not just selfishness
Maybe that wan to lead an authentic life.
I guess that kind of sounded catty...maybe wrong choice of words. However this particular person im thinking of is a little selfish tho...but obviously this isnt everyone.
There's nothing wrong with being selfish
In certain aspects sure. But i thibk beibg in a healthy relationship comes alot of compromise and selflessness.
Might be why youre single...
Life has a way to teaching you things
Being selfish has nothing to do with being single
Know tons of selfish peeps married or in relationshipsclick to expand
And how are their relationships?
Posted by Black-Mamba
The guy has to be really worth it i guess. I think knowing I'm secure in a relationship woild help me not be so focused on the relationship
Security is very important.
Of course that should be a factor.
Its hard to find security these days.
I've come to relaize i focus more on myself when im secure with my partner.
Posted by Black-MambaPosted by Boots1313Posted by Black-MambaPosted by Boots1313Posted by Black-MambaPosted by TxOgal
I've never been in a good relationship, they all seemed distracting
Me neither
You're young still...your mentality will change
No it won't. I've never been in a relationship where i didn't lose myself
I Dont like it. I abhor it
A good relationship to me is where i grow
I was too busy making someone else happy instead of myself
Again to each their own.
Maybe you arent meant for a relationship. Thats fine too.
Why cause i don't want to cling for dear life
because i have dreams
I love experiences
That means i don't deserve a relationship??
😑click to expand
Of course, but it might be harder to find. You cant be completely deatched. I think in order to "love" there has to be some factor of giving and compromise and sometimes putting your partner first.
Of course dont lose yourself, and of course youre s.o should support your independence and self worth. But there will be trying times when you have to help them out more, and maybe bite your tongue.
Posted by ImpulsvPosted by Boots1313Posted by ImpulsvPosted by Boots1313Posted by Black-MambaPosted by Boots1313Posted by ImpulsvPosted by Boots1313Posted by Koni
I say yes. If people all worked on themselves only outside of relationships, there would be no relationships. We are all flawed.
I know so many people who left good relationships to "work on themselves". I dont get that ideology, but to each their own. A lot of them now would rather be single tho...maybe a pride thing or a selfishness things. Want to do their things their way without consulting or considering another person
Maybe the relationship was done
No love there anymore
n instead are setting partner free n themselves to open up to love again instead of settling
Many reasons not just selfishness
Maybe that wan to lead an authentic life.
I guess that kind of sounded catty...maybe wrong choice of words. However this particular person im thinking of is a little selfish tho...but obviously this isnt everyone.
There's nothing wrong with being selfish
In certain aspects sure. But i thibk beibg in a healthy relationship comes alot of compromise and selflessness.
Might be why youre single...
Life has a way to teaching you things
Being selfish has nothing to do with being single
Know tons of selfish peeps married or in relationships
And how are their relationships?
Not bad they have them by their balls
Works for them I guess lolclick to expand
Lol, well sounds like someone isnt happy in the relationship.
Posted by Black-MambaPosted by Boots1313Posted by Black-Mamba
The guy has to be really worth it i guess. I think knowing I'm secure in a relationship woild help me not be so focused on the relationship
Security is very important.
Of course that should be a factor.
Its hard to find security these days.
I've come to relaize i focus more on myself when im secure with my partner.
I think that's the missing ingredient for me
4 sureclick to expand
Again your young, unfortunately men are alreasy stunted, emotionally and being young doesnt help.
As you get older you will find more trustworthy, stable men.
Its good to have a strong vetting process.
Posted by Black-MambaPosted by Boots1313Posted by Black-MambaPosted by Boots1313Posted by Black-Mamba
The guy has to be really worth it i guess. I think knowing I'm secure in a relationship woild help me not be so focused on the relationship
Security is very important.
Of course that should be a factor.
Its hard to find security these days.
I've come to relaize i focus more on myself when im secure with my partner.
I think that's the missing ingredient for me
4 sure
Again your young, unfortunately men are alreasy stunted, emotionally and being young doesnt help.
As you get older you will find more trustworthy, stable men.
Its good to have a strong vetting process.
Im old not young and ppl don't changeclick to expand
Arent you like 25? People don't change, but they grow...
Posted by Boots1313Posted by Black-Mamba
The guy has to be really worth it i guess. I think knowing I'm secure in a relationship woild help me not be so focused on the relationship
Security is very important.
Of course that should be a factor.
Its hard to find security these days.
I've come to relaize i focus more on myself when im secure with my partner.
click to expand
It’s hard to find cause its not instantaneous, takes time, and people excel at letting you down 😩😩
Posted by LadyNeptunePosted by Boots1313Posted by Black-Mamba
The guy has to be really worth it i guess. I think knowing I'm secure in a relationship woild help me not be so focused on the relationship
Security is very important.
Of course that should be a factor.
Its hard to find security these days.
I've come to relaize i focus more on myself when im secure with my partner.
It’s hard to find cause its not instantaneous, takes time, and people excel at letting you down 😩😩click to expand
Agreed...im not one of those people whom blindy go into a relationship trusting. That has to be earned...you work your way up to 100% .
Some people start at 100 and subtract. Not me.
Posted by tiziani
I think there's a sweet spot around 1 year into any relationship where both people have a chance to find out if they can work on themselves while committing to each other.
But I violently disagree that compromise or selflessness are part of good relationships. Those elements are commonly found in unfulfilling relationships.
Explain to my your reasoning for the last statement
Join the Conversation. Explore Yourself. Connect with Others.
Discover insights, swap stories, and find people. dxpnet is where experiences turn into understanding.
Create Your Free Account →Related Topics
The last time I measured was in high school. Back then I was 7 or 8, so now I should be like 9 right? Or as you get older does the opposite happen, & does ur dick shrink which would making me a 6?
Inspired by @virgoop posting all that hoe shit
It happened again. Whorpio trusted the wrong person and got burned.
Y’all remember that Virgo I inquired about a few weeks ago because I wanted to be her friend? Yeah well that friendship didn’t work out. She bullied me to the point of tears and her Libr
I always try so hard not to do the mistakes i did in the past relationship.. I always try to learn and be better and ready .. and I try not to get too attached or needy so i can move on easier if it didnt work out ..
But I feel like No matter how hard I
This guy's got the patience of a fucking saint. How does he not lose his hope in humanity given the stupidity he constantly surrounds himself with. I've never seen him truly lose his temper once. Is he a cyborg? One day I hope to achieve his level of exce
The concept of time is a facade but lets discuss this calendar year.
For me-
This year I worked HARD on my mental health. Changed my diet to 90/10 Vegan. Became comfortable being alone. Worked hard and got a 10k raise at work. Raised my credit score 100
What's everyone opinion on them? Has anyone read them? Did you find them helpful/useful? I have an odd stigma against them. Always thought they were for the weak minded or sheep...but lately I've been looking into them
Any suggestions would be appreciated
I've been losing sleep over this matter and having terrible anxiety fueled nightmares.
For the last month my friends have been pushing me out. It actually wasn't a gradual push, they just kind of ghosted me, out of nowhere.
I've tried texting them, I'll w
He got a DUI for the second time this year and is in jail until Tuesday. I can afford the bail but I’m refusing to do so. Sorry I’m a shitty friend but it feels like this is a lesson the universe needs him to learn.
What would you do?
What if you draw your line and create a very solid and immovable boundary which results in a few individuals bowing out of your life because they can’t handle that you’ve spoken up and told them not to cross said boundary
I love this site because I can ask total strangers for advice and know I’ll get feedback without any emotional attachment lol. But basically I’ve been living in California for 1 year away from any family as a way to escape my home town, I’m 24 and I’m an
Let’s give an appreciation to the men of Dxp!
Chime in. Agree or disagree but Dxp men need some...they are HERE aren’t they? It means they have nowhere else to BE!!!
Let’s give them some loving...
I’ll start with my Dxp good for nothing but love him any
Let’s talk about what we have to thank life, God, Universe about...
What do we have that others would kill for having...
I have a huge list to list...
I was raised by 2 loving parents.
I was born as a beautiful child that my Mom couldn’t walk me in a str
I just read ‘you’ll be feeling better with times honey’ and I wanted to scream ‘when exactly’?
Then I decided to ask...is anyone here happy after break up from real love?
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCTdPFKY-pWAwWZ2nj8yFvFA/videos
Then post and who cares... lol
I am so sick of this ‘you deserve this or rhat’...
Who came up with this crap?
What does it mean ‘you deserve’? Said who?
Apparently if you don’t have it - you don’t deserve it! Because if you did - you wouldn HAVE it!
Isn’t ‘deserving’ determined by G
What is dealing with anger like for you? Do you find it easy to control, or impossible? Are you immune to it, or does it bottle up till it simply cannot anymore? Do you know any extremely angry people? What were they like? When describing you or their ang
I'm trying really hard to learn how to be more independent. I honestly have never been alone my while life, I've come from very dependent relationships, family and friends.
Recently I've been seeing a guy who is reclusive. He does well with letting me s
Yesterday, I was talking to a girl about how I didn't like how I smoke everyday because it feels like I'm starting to use it as a crutch, I don't think it's good to have a "I NEED a blunt" mindset, and I definitely don't think it's the smartest thing to
And I’ll tell you how old you really are.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Boobs.
How does one begin to let go of expectations from a loved one?
I know in a relationship you should hold your s.o to some kind of standard but when you have high expectations feelings are hurt on both ends.
How do you let go of ridiculous expectation
Sound off...also share your expierences with growth and personal development.