Asked him to come clean to his girlfriend about us

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lotus
@lotus
19 Years

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So, I asked my on/off Pisces lover to come clean to his on/off girlfriend about our affair of ten months. After lots of probing, he did. She sent me an e-mail saying that she was not surprised, he is the most indecisive person she's ever met, etc. She suggested we meet up for lunch tomorrow. Hmmmm.

He said he'd call me to let me know how things turned out. However, even with an e-mail from me asking if everything is going well, there is no answer. What is going on? Is he angry that I asked him to come clean? Has she decided to end things with him and he was not expecting that? Or, is she simply OK with his cheating and doesn't really mind (he told me that they are NOT in an open relationship)?

This is such a bizzare situation.
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lotus
@lotus
19 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 419 · Topics: 80
Posted by WaterCup
Bizzare indeed. What exactly was the reason behind the "come clean"?
Were they not together when you two started your affair?

Your situation is a bit confusing.



Yes, they were not together but got back together after a few months of us starting things. It's a bizzare situation because he was my boss until recently, so things needed to be kept secret. Since he is no longer my boss and she had suspected a few months ago that something was going on, I asked him to come clean. He struggled for a while with this decision and then did.
In her e-mail exchanges with me, she never said anything against me. She was saying bad things about him (especially his inability to make a decision) and how she has no idea what he wants. Hmmmm.
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WaterCup
@WaterCup
14 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 712 · Posts: 13125 · Topics: 157
Posted by lotus
Posted by WaterCup
Bizzare indeed. What exactly was the reason behind the "come clean"?
Were they not together when you two started your affair?

Your situation is a bit confusing.



Yes, they were not together but got back together after a few months of us starting things. It's a bizzare situation because he was my boss until recently, so things needed to be kept secret. Since he is no longer my boss and she had suspected a few months ago that something was going on, I asked him to come clean. He struggled for a while with this decision and then did.
In her e-mail exchanges with me, she never said anything against me. She was saying bad things about him (especially his inability to make a decision) and how she has no idea what he wants. Hmmmm.
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Why didn't you just break up with him after he went back to her?
I don't understand why he had to come clean when YOU are the dirty little secret between them. You had a choice to remove yourself from the situation & there wouldn't have been a need for confessions have you done that.

Were you hoping they'd break up after he confessed?
This sounds self-serving since you're still in the picture.
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Undine
@Undine
12 Years5,000+ Posts

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"Yes, they were not together but got back together after a few months of us starting things." "She sent me an e-mail saying that she was not surprised, he is the most indecisive person she's ever met, etc".

It looks like the "main piece" considers herself to be just another option, waiting for him to make up his mind? I don't see any ownership claims in her attitude. Maybe she's an Aqua?

Lotus, how come he's not your boss anymore? Did you have to quit, or was he demoted? (Sorry girls, I take an astrological interest in the fate of this b-tard, since he's got the same personal planets as myself).
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WaterCup
@WaterCup
14 Years10,000+ Posts

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Posted by Undine
"You're just the side piece."

Girls, please stop harassing Lotus. Side piece to what? An on-off relationship with a prolonged goodbye?

First of all, Lotus was his employee, not a "side piece" or "dirty secret". This was their official relationship. The fact they started an affair smells like abuse of power and dependancy to me.





She is the dirty secret, if not, then why did she push him into confessing/COME CLEAN about her? Don't make her appear like an innocent by-stander here when it's clear that she isn't. She knew what she was doing from the start, she even kept the affair a secret. She also knew that he was her superior at work & could have turned him down if she wanted to, but she didn't so where's this abuse you're talking about? Did she report him for it? No.
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Undine
@Undine
12 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 1552 · Posts: 8895 · Topics: 11
Posted by WaterCup
You must really like Lotus if you really can't see that she is also at fault here. I don't know if she is your DXP friend or not, but personally I dislike friends like you, Undine. Friends are supposed to show their friends the right way & not encourage negative behaviour by making excuses.



Lotus has been taken advantage of. She's under my protection on this forum.
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lotus
@lotus
19 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 419 · Topics: 80
Posted by Undine
Posted by WaterCup
You must really like Lotus if you really can't see that she is also at fault here. I don't know if she is your DXP friend or not, but personally I dislike friends like you, Undine. Friends are supposed to show their friends the right way & not encourage negative behaviour by making excuses.



Lotus has been taken advantage of. She's under my protection on this forum.
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Very kind of you!
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shellshocker
@shellshocker
15 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 21 · Posts: 4200 · Topics: 67
Posted by Undine
Posted by WaterCup
You must really like Lotus if you really can't see that she is also at fault here. I don't know if she is your DXP friend or not, but personally I dislike friends like you, Undine. Friends are supposed to show their friends the right way & not encourage negative behaviour by making excuses.



Lotus has been taken advantage of. She's under my protection on this forum.
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Been taken advantage of? oh boy...

Lotus has fully admitted that she was the one that pursued her boss knowing full well he had a girlfriend. Awww, poor widdle victim...
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WaterCup
@WaterCup
14 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 712 · Posts: 13125 · Topics: 157
Posted by Undine
Posted by WaterCup
You must really like Lotus if you really can't see that she is also at fault here. I don't know if she is your DXP friend or not, but personally I dislike friends like you, Undine. Friends are supposed to show their friends the right way & not encourage negative behaviour by making excuses.



Lotus has been taken advantage of. She's under my protection on this forum.
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Wow, you're unbelievable.

Lotus please listen to me, do not take advice from people like your fake protector up there. People like her will only get you to be taken advantage of because of this victim mentality she is trying to instil in you.

You deserve a man of your own, you don't need to share. You have a choice in every situation, remember that. Please never think he took advantage of you or that you're the victim, THAT IS WEAK. You're better than this so please dump this guy & let him be with his gf.
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Undine
@Undine
12 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 1552 · Posts: 8895 · Topics: 11
Posted by WaterCup
Posted by Undine
Posted by WaterCup
You must really like Lotus if you really can't see that she is also at fault here. I don't know if she is your DXP friend or not, but personally I dislike friends like you, Undine. Friends are supposed to show their friends the right way & not encourage negative behaviour by making excuses.


Lotus has been taken advantage of. She's under my protection on this forum.

Wow, you're unbelievable.
Lotus please listen to me, do not take advice from people like your fake protector up there. People like her will only get you to be taken advantage of because of this victim mentality she is trying to instil in you.
.
click to expand



Developing a —victim mentality?? after being taken advantage of it's not the norm.

In contrast, recognizing you??ve been taken advantage of it's always a good ting, because it may help you to handle the situation correctly and stop you from making the same mistake in the future!

I was referring to their professional relationship. Someone in his position of authority could be very appealing. He's got the power, he seems to know everything you need to know and he's egger to guide and protect you for several years. Add to that he's a youngish attractive bastard, and you get the ultimate fantasy.

Because all these above, it is common for girls like Lotus to become infatuated. Especially those without a boyfriend and dedicated to their career. No matter what she has tried to do to —seduce him??, if anything, it was his responsibility to turn her down.

The moral is: don't have an affair with your boss. It could end up badly and may compromise your professional future.

I think the situation with his on-off gf is the last of his worries right know. Lotus could make him lose his job, reputation and career if she wants to. And she doesn't want to! Maybe because she's still infatuated with him and needs more time to get over it. Or maybe because she is just a good girl at heart.
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WaterCup
@WaterCup
14 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 712 · Posts: 13125 · Topics: 157
Posted by Undine
Posted by WaterCup
Posted by Undine
Posted by WaterCup
You must really like Lotus if you really can't see that she is also at fault here. I don't know if she is your DXP friend or not, but personally I dislike friends like you, Undine. Friends are supposed to show their friends the right way & not encourage negative behaviour by making excuses.


Lotus has been taken advantage of. She's under my protection on this forum.

Wow, you're unbelievable.
Lotus please listen to me, do not take advice from people like your fake protector up there. People like her will only get you to be taken advantage of because of this victim mentality she is trying to instil in you.
.


Developing a —victim mentality?? after being taken advantage of it's not the norm.

In contrast, recognizing you??ve been taken advantage of it's always a good ting, because it may help you to handle the situation correctly and stop you from making the same mistake in the future!

I was referring to their professional relationship. Someone in his position of authority could be very appealing. He's got the power, he seems to know everything you need to know and he's egger to guide and protect you for several years. Add to that he's a youngish attractive bastard, and you get the ultimate fantasy.

Because all these above, it is common for girls like Lotus to become infatuated. Especially those without a boyfriend and dedicated to their career. No matter what she has tried to do to —seduce him??, if anything, it was his responsibility to turn her down.

The moral is: don't have an affair with your boss. It could end up badly and may compromise your professional future.

I think the situation with his on-off gf is the last of his worries right know. Lotus could make him lose his job, reputation and career if she wants to. And she doesn't want to! Maybe because she's still infatuated with him and needs more time to get over it. Or maybe because she is just a good girl at heart.
click to expand




But how has she been taken advantage of? I don't get it. I don't know how old she is but when it comes to getting into a relationship nobody is forced,
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WaterCup
@WaterCup
14 Years10,000+ Posts

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Did he threaten her job? I didn't see that in her OP. She could have respectfully declined & be respectful of HIS position at work.

And if she is as good hearted as you suspect then explain why she is dating another girl's boyfriend. Good hearted folks put their own feeling aside for the sake of trying not to hurt other people. She is not good in my eyes.

I believe she hoped they'd stop sneaking around & be official right after he stopped being her boss. But of course that didn't happen, so she is now forcing him to claim her. Really? If he wanted to do that, he would have done it without being pushed. And I also believe she hope she'll dump him so she could have him all to herself. That's disgusting! Why would you want a man that needs to be discarded by another 1st before he could claim you? Gross.
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lotus
@lotus
19 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 419 · Topics: 80
[quote]

Lotus has been taken advantage of. She's under my protection on this forum.



Wow, you're unbelievable.

Lotus please listen to me, do not take advice from people like your fake protector up there. People like her will only get you to be taken advantage of because of this victim mentality she is trying to instil in you. [/quote]

Actually, she has been in a very similar situation to me and knows what she is talking about.🙂

[quote]
You deserve a man of your own, you don't need to share. You have a choice in every situation, remember that. Please never think he took advantage of you or that you're the victim, THAT IS WEAK. You're better than this so please dump this guy & let him be with his gf. [/quote]

I agree with the first part. However, if you knew the whole situation and how things like these work, you would realise that I was taken advantage of and I am the victim here.
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P-Angel
@P-Angel
20 Years25,000+ PostsPisces

Comments: 0 · Posts: 44084 · Topics: 685
Posted by Undine

I was referring to their professional relationship. Someone in his position of authority could be very appealing. He's got the power, he seems to know everything you need to know and he's egger to guide and protect you for several years. Add to that he's a youngish attractive bastard, and you get the ultimate fantasy.







So, if someone in authority is appealing ... which makes you do stupid shit, because you can't help a fantasy running through your head .. that is how she's been taken advantage of?

Why did you add he's a youngish attractive bastard?
why did you say he was eager to guide her and protect her?

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P-Angel
@P-Angel
20 Years25,000+ PostsPisces

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Posted by lotus

However, if you knew the whole situation and how things like these work, you would realise that I was taken advantage of and I am the victim here.







How these things work?

So, the slut who seduced her Scorpio professor, by not wearing panties and showing her cuntiness in class, to manipulate him into giving her a passing grade ....

... knows what's it's like to be the victim?

Your professor was married .. and you KNEW it, bitch !!!


You aren't the side piece ... though you are a piece .. it's called ...


A piece of shit
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lotus
@lotus
19 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 419 · Topics: 80
Posted by P-Angel
Posted by Undine

Lotus has been taken advantage of. She's under my protection on this forum.







Under YOUR protection?

How do you figure she's been taken advantage of?

Do you even realize that she is the same person who - took advantage - of her Scorpion professor at school by seducing him for a grade?


Seducing my former Scorpio professor for a grade? WHAT? Technically he wasn't giving me any grades. Please realize that you need to know the context before you make assumptions. Undine and I have been through a similar situation it seems, and she knows many of the details.

P-Angel, you seem to have a very militaristic attitude when it comes to people posting about relationships on this forum. Are you a relationship expert or something?
I'm all ears .. speak Undine .. how is she the victim?
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WaterCup
@WaterCup
14 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 712 · Posts: 13125 · Topics: 157
Posted by lotus
[quote]

Lotus has been taken advantage of. She's under my protection on this forum.



Wow, you're unbelievable.

Lotus please listen to me, do not take advice from people like your fake protector up there. People like her will only get you to be taken advantage of because of this victim mentality she is trying to instil in you. [/quote]

Actually, she has been in a very similar situation to me and knows what she is talking about.🙂

[quote]
You deserve a man of your own, you don't need to share. You have a choice in every situation, remember that. Please never think he took advantage of you or that you're the victim, THAT IS WEAK. You're better than this so please dump this guy & let him be with his gf. [/quote]

I agree with the first part. However, if you knew the whole situation and how things like these work, you would realise that I was taken advantage of and I am the victim here.



Wow. Undine succeeded. Sad & ridiculous. Since I have no full details on how you were "victimised", mind giving the full story. I'm going to fetch a box of tissues, I can feel my crocodile tears coming.
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Este8
@Este8
12 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 0 · Posts: 1355 · Topics: 6
Undine, you say that she has the power to get her boss fired. That's highly unlikely. For one thing, he could just deny it. If he's in a position of power and especially if he's delivering for his company, he won't lose his job. She'll be the one packing. That's how these things work in the real world. Love triangles are painful and it's rare that anyone's made happy by them at the end of the day. I read an interesting article in Cosmo a long time ago. A bunch of men who stepped out on their women were surveyed. Almost all of them admitted that their affairs made their lives miserable and that the pleasure received was short term. Moral of the story: nobody wins in these scenarios and we just imagine that men get out scot free. I have some compassion for the women in this scenario because more often than not, they do what they do in the name of love. But that does not exonerate one from the consequences of one's actions. There's no happy ending to this story. The woman involved here just needs to live, learn & make better choices in the future.
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Este8
@Este8
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And one more thing....some women like men who have power and they don't care whether they have a woman in their lives. The power issue is a two way street. Men in power wouldn't be able to abuse their position nearly so much as they do if there weren't women who weren't more than willing to play along. I've worked in the financial sector long enough to learn that many "alpha dogs" are just that. They are no prize and won't be faithful to any one. One of the former Presidents had a secret apt where he bedded his women and I mean women. He finally got caught by the wife but he makes 6 figures so she didn't divorce him.

Moral of the story: poor men are better people and rich men aren't worth the ego or infidelity. 🙂
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lisabeth
@lisabethur8
13 Years50,000+ Posts

Comments: 4373 · Posts: 50653 · Topics: 564
Posted by Este8
And one more thing....some women like men who have power and they don't care whether they have a woman in their lives. The power issue is a two way street. Men in power wouldn't be able to abuse their position nearly so much as they do if there weren't women who weren't more than willing to play along. I've worked in the financial sector long enough to learn that many "alpha dogs" are just that. They are no prize and won't be faithful to any one. One of the former Presidents had a secret apt where he bedded his women and I mean women. He finally got caught by the wife but he makes 6 figures so she didn't divorce him.

Moral of the story: poor men are better people and rich men aren't worth the ego or infidelity. 🙂



Listen to that, OP

You dont want to share do you?
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P-Angel
@P-Angel
20 Years25,000+ PostsPisces

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Lotus has been a piece of shit since her very first post in dxp .... when she seduced her professor for a grade, and then proceeded to talk in the Scorpio board about how he hovers over her and how all of his attention makes her uncomfortable .... when it was HER who flashed him her pussy, while he was standing in front of the class.


And she does the same here .... this man is not single, but, that doesn't really stop attention whores, now does it?


She hasn't changed a bit .... she's still the same piece of shit.
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Undine
@Undine
12 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 1552 · Posts: 8895 · Topics: 11
Posted by P-Angel
1/17/2013

Posted by lotus

I am in a close relationship/friend with benefits type situation with a Pisces Sun/Pisces Moon man.







She knew from the beginning that this was a fwb relationship .....


I am waiting, Undine .... speak, how exactly was/is she being taken advantage of?
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That is how we call it here when a Professor (Scorpio, Pisces or else) fucks his pupils. Irrespective of whether he is single or married, "seduced" or not.
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P-Angel
@P-Angel
20 Years25,000+ PostsPisces

Comments: 0 · Posts: 44084 · Topics: 685
And where are you calling "here"?

So, you're saying that she has no choices in who she fucks .. is that right?

Because I'm going to ask people who are from where you are and find out if it's true that the women from there have no choice except to be victims of men who want to fuck them.

Where you from ... where you calling "here"?


You should know by now that I'm relentless ... I'm gonna call you out.
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P-Angel
@P-Angel
20 Years25,000+ PostsPisces

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Where you from?


I'm creating a spreadsheet at this very moment, categorizing every woman I know according to where she is from ... because I will continue with this.

You have implied that where you are from .... women have no choice in fucking men if the man desires it, and that makes them a victim who's been taken advantage of.

I know a lot of fucking people.

And even if you choose to ignore this ... doesn't matter - everyone just heard you make that implication.
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WaterCup
@WaterCup
14 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 712 · Posts: 13125 · Topics: 157
Posted by lotus
Posted by P-Angel

You'd be wise to change your mind right about now.



Just shows how stubborn and self-assured you are, P-Angel. I mean seriously.....you don't know the whole situation.
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He raped you the 1st time you had sex & you developed Stockholm Syndrome. Is that it? If not then you're still not a victim. You're a grown woman. Why did it go on for almost a year if you felt so victimised? Why didn't you report him? You sound full of shit at this moment to be honest with you.
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