Do Pisces reappear after they have disappeared? (Page 2)

Nice type, Nefer... DAG GIRL should be SAG GIRL lol

Nefer, thank you so much. I've been intent on moving on with my life for the past 3 weeks. However, sometimes I bounce back and forth and have a panicked "I need him back" fit. Do I miss him? Hell yeah, I miss him - that's not bull. BUT I think it's bad timing at the very least. And you also have to understand that while I broke it off with him, I didn't ACTUALLY think I'd never talk to him or see him again. ESPECIALLY since he said to call him. I know that's SO egotistical and arrogant, but I'm being truthful. I've never had this happen before when a guy just refused to talk to me.

I just want to make the best possible scenario for him incase he wants to come back. I think the last text I sent was good, and I've respected his boundaries since. Do Pisces notice when their exes move on? I guess I'm just really scared about him forgetting about me. I liked him so so much and I've cried for 3 weeks so to think he was just like "meh", shrugged his shoulders and moved on, KILLS me. From everything I read about Pisces, they are really emotional creatures and that's always what I saw of him.

I'm also scared he won't reach out on his own because like you said, I know P-men are extremely stubborn. But I guess if he wants to, he will. I keep telling myself that he did mean that he didn't want this to be final - I just jumped the gun when I went crawling back the next day. I think he meant maybe when he has his life together we could try again.

Ya know, and maybe when his friend finally gets the msg I sent weeks ago, he will show him. I really don't think he will say "what a psycho", but maybe he will see that I really did care about him, and will keep what we had in the back of his mind for the future, if it happens to feel right at that time for both of us.

Yes, he's a drug dealer...and not a very good one since he's broke obviously lol. And he didn't even have a BACK UP plan for a car. And the drug dealing thing is especially bad since I have a criminal justice degree and REALLY shouldn't be involved with someone who sells weed (he doesn't sell anything else)! :-X

I know it looks REALLY bad on paper, but it was so weird - we just clicked. I said "don't fall for him, he's a loser" and she said to himself "don't fall for her, you're a loser" and then it just happened (yes, he actually feels he is a loser and didn't want to get involved with anyone...and then he met me - that came straight from the horse's mouth).

He always treated me well. Took me to nice dinners, my friends loved him (yes, they knew what he did), my family loved him (no, they didn't know), and just treated me with so much respect. It's strange that the most emotionally healthy relationship I ever had was just doomed from the getgo - I was retarded and thought the "other stuff" didn't matter - like it would be a goddamn fairytale - "look at the drug dealer I reformed". And I know all this doesn't make him a BAD guy. If anything, I think he's sparing me. The last text he sent me 22 days ago said "you are too good to have anyone do this to you. My life sucks right now and it has everything to do with me and nothing to do with you."

I just want him to remember me incase things change...I really really do. If he came to me, had a job, a car, and a general DIRECTION, I would run back to him. I don't think he can do what he's doing for much longer. Like I said, he wasn't always "like this".

Basically, we were Molly Ringwald and Andrew McCarthy ala "Pretty in Pink"...if Molly Ringwald sold dime bags out of her mother's trailer.

God, that sounds so ridiculous. I regret ever coming here in the first place now. LOL

Yes, Pisces "notice" when someone moves on. We notice all the little details and things most people take for granted. All that emotional depth you saw when you were together? It's still there. He didn't suddenly turn into a rock, you know. But almost every single Pisces I've ever known (including myself).. in a situation like this? Back straight, head high, one foot in front of the other, walk tall and proud... I-didn't-need-you-anyway and we NEVER let them see us burn! We will make it LOOK SOOOOO EASY, like we never really cared.. even though we're BURNING inside, even though we can barely see or breathe through the flames.

Even if it LOOKS easy for him.. it's NOT. If it WAS easy for him? He'd take your calls and be pleasant but cool and non-committal.. friendly... cuz you don't affect him, see? The fact that he cannot even face you right now? THAT tells me how much he's burning inside.

Does that do your ego good to know that? Mine would be both horrified and soothed.. I don't WANT people to hurt.. but I don't WANT to be so disposable either. Now that we've fed that vicious beast (ego) of yours, can we put her to bed, so that you can take a step back and look at this whole situation objectively.. and maybe see that it's not right for you two right now? maybe it can be in the future, but don't bank on that either. Bank on YOU and YOUR STANDARDS.. finding and getting a wonderful, worthy man who IS in the place in his life to build something wonderful with you.

Posted by nybeauty02
Basically, we were Molly Ringwald and Andrew McCarthy ala "Pretty in Pink"...if Molly Ringwald sold dime bags out of her mother's trailer.

God, that sounds so ridiculous. I regret ever coming here in the first place now. LOL

LOL That "Pretty In Pink" thing made me laugh!

But no, seriously.. how can you regret coming here? We only helped you sort out and clarify your twisted, confusing emotions? Helped you gain a new perspective maybe? helped you get a little bit of sanity back? What's to regret? That some strangers on the internet now know that "nybeauty02" was dating a weed seller for 6 weeks and misses him and thinks maybe she wants him back? Feeling self-conscious about it? So what?

That's your (bruised) ego and hormones talking... ego we discussed. Hormones.. it's nature and science.. sex hormones actually work to EMOTIONALLY BOND a woman to a man.. it's really too bad it doesn't work the other way around too, huh? LOL

Nefer, you hit the nail on the head...it makes me so happy and so sad at the same time. He said to me once, "you are going to rip my heart out through my ass, aren't you? You're way too beautiful not to." I told him I would never hurt him and I meant it...until I snapped. And the truth is, I didn't THINK ABOUT IT when I dumped him. THE WORDS JUST FELL OUT. I wasn't like "okay let me dump his ass then crawl back tomorrow". No way. I just said it. I know I must have really wanted to end things then, ya know? But I panicked. Then I got ignored and REALLY panicked.

And believe me, I worried about him thinking I was a psycho for calling him and sending his bff a msg (at this point though, I don't think he even knows about it yet), but I actually take pride in that. I messed up. I tried to take it back. I didn't do anything crazy and I stand by all my actions. I beat myself up over it for a long time because I knew how scared he was of having "another psycho", but I trust he saw in 6 weeks I was anything but.

Everyone said "I bet he has a new girl by now". But I know he didn't turn into a rock like you said. He's a guy who cries at "The Notebook" while I would poke fun at him! LOL - he wasn't someone with a personality disorder who can just shut it off like that. And yes, you're right about the ignoring. If he had no problem, it'd be easy for him to answer.

Thanks for all you've said to me. I'm not sure if you understand how much you've helped me. I know what I'm going to do - I'm just going to move like I knew I would 3 weeks ago and do me, and if he comes back, he comes back and if he doesn't, then I know there will be someone else. I'm certainly not perfect, but I'm a neat little package.

Thanks again. If there ever happens to be any further contact with him, I'm making sure I'm coming to you first because you certainly know what you're talking about.

No I definitely don't regret it - I was just kidding. It's just when I type it out - no job, car, money, sell weed, it just sounds ridiculous!

I still really really miss him but I hold faith that if the Universe wants us back together, it will find a way. Until then, I'll do me.

Posted by Nefer
...except to a Pisces (who are MUCH more reality-based and practical than some people give them credit for) that looks like YOU are the wishy-washy, flighty, back-and-forth one. It looks like YOU will bail when times get rough.. and boy times DO get rough! We Pisces don't like wasting time in losing propositions either, you know.

Nefer, I was rereading this thread, and from an outside perspective this is almost coming across as "We want to know you're never going to leave us, no matter what, before we'll commit ourselves." I mean, right now I'm smarting because I apparently didn't measure up with my own Pisces boy, but I still can't help feeling like that's a helluva bar to set -- then again, I may be reading it wrong, which is why I'm asking for clarification. Does it really take convincing a Pisces that you'll never leave no matter what before they'll let their guard down?

In my case, I simply had to cop to the fact that however crazy about him I was, the feeling wasn't mutual -- I was fine to play around with once in a while, but he was crazy about someone else. If that was a test to see if I'd stick around anyway, I failed. 😢

Posted by Nefer
Plus, if he's a drug dealer, he's crappy at it, if he ain't even got a nice ride LOL C'mon Dag girl...

Oh man, I laughed so hard I cried when I read this. Nefer, thanks for the first real laugh I've had in three days 🙂

Posted by nybeauty02

He knew from previous conversations that I believe in no contact after break ups ....

See your bed right there that you made ?^^^^^^^^^^ Now lay in it.

Posted by nybeauty02

... his ignoring me after such a wonderful r/s is just odd

When in reality YOU were the one who made it clear to him that once you break up with a man, he should not even bother with you because you have a Rule.

He follows your wishes ... and you can't handle it. I suppose you need to snap back to reality.

Posted by nybeauty02

I guess they were "harsh truths" for him and made him feel badly about how he's not doing anything with his life.

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What's the matter? Is the truth of your fucked up reality too harsh for you?

You broke up with him, and you did so by making it clear that he is not to contact you.

That is the truth here, and it is harsh ..... now go live the life you made for yourself and quit trying to redirect guilt on him, as if it's his because it's not.

YOU are the one who fucked this up ... not him.

You're a Gem, right? I know I can't help but speak "Marine" (thanks mostly to my Pisces Mercury).. that nearly-garbled unintelligible almost underwater way we Fish speak in images and abstracts and shades of grey and every color in the rainbow all at the same time... but I'll try my best to help you understand the strange (to others) way we think.

In THIS thread.. she broke up with him after 6 weeks of dating, because his car broke down. There hadn't even been enough time to really bond, much less build something strong... but hey.. if someone broke up with me so quickly, not even giving it a chance because my car broke down... though I understand about the hardship being too much, too early.. NO, I would NOT fall right back into the relationship the next day (or even "soon").. because nothing had changed and I wouldn't be giving someone another chance to dump me for the same damn thing! THAT makes it a losing proposition - if nothing changes, it's STILL a bad situation and could come up again! Down the road? Who knows what the future may bring? I'm not the burning bridges type.. I just swim away if I feel I must - though THEY may be the burning bridges type... and really, it only takes ONE to burn a bridge!

No, you do not have to jump through a zillion hoops to prove yourself before we commit. (It can just take forever and a day for us to let you into that watery little inner world, the "guard down". Don't take it personal.. we do it to everyone, it's the only way we keep sane!) But we cannot control who we LOVE, whether they are deserving or not. Love is something that happens, and forcing it might get you what you want (aka a relationship), but in the long run... it's that old lead a horse to water saying (when the relationship isn't real love, or the bulk of our love is still drawn to someone else.) I don't believe we CHOOSE who we love.. it's something that just happens. We can't control our FEELINGS, we can only control our actions.. whether we commit or we cheat... whether we tell hard truths or easy lies.. whether we stay or we go.

HOWEVER -- what I've gotten from your recent posts (I'd have to read more when I have more time)... your Pisces guy is still hung up on his ex. This is a horse of an entirely different color. It's like you're competing with a ghost.. though she may not be actually dead, he's still choosing what to remember about her.. and loves her. Even if you are technically better than her in various ways (say prettier, smarter, faithful, etc etc) you will still lose cuz you are not her, the one who still has the largest piece of his heart. He still loves her... and no amount of advice or strategy is going to magically make him get over her and fall madly in love with you. That is something HE has to work out on his own. And that is something YOU should not subject yourself to in the meantime.

YOU deserve a man who is ready and willing to do a relationship... THIS Pisces guy is Unavailable.. he's still hung up on his ex. it's not about you not "measuring up" or the bar being set too high... it's about he loves who he loves, and she's it.. whether she deserves it or not, whether she returns his love or not, YOU cannot change or fix any of that.. it's all on HIM to work through. In the meantime, YOU need to get busy in YOUR life.. do things that make YOU feel good and feel happy. And PLEASE.. start dating.. lots of dates with Available men... help re-raise your battered self-esteem (breakups knock us around big time!) and find your center.. and keep you from chasing him which will backfire. NOTHING you can do will change or help what he's got to go through with her. ALL you can control is YOU... so do it.. get back out there in your life... there are men galore out there - and one might even be the love of your life but you can't even SEE him because you're still emotionally stuck on a guy who isn't over his ex. And while you're getting your groove back... Pisces guy will have to shit or get off the pot.. step up or step out.. work through his problems, or lose you to a better man. And that's win-win!


"Heartache is caused not by the heart wanting what it wants, but by it insisting where it must be found."

Nefer, thanks for the clarification! I have to admit, there were times I felt exactly like that -- like every time I managed to jump through one hoop, my 'reward' was getting the next held higher... and let's face it, I deserve a guy who's going to jump through a few hoops for me, too. Or at least I want to be with someone who likes me enough to be willing to.

Yeah, he actually gave it a helluva a try at first (back when I was still 'exotic' and mostly unknown...), succeeded in finally getting my attention, and almost immediately started backing off massively, leaving me feeling like WTF? It wasn't until later that I discovered there was a kinda-sorta-not-really ex in the picture that he's been hung up on for years. I'm assuming what happened was he realized a) I wasn't enough to distract him from the ex, and b) I was too decent to lead around on a chain for when he wanted occasional distraction. So we went through this period (which confused the hell out of me) of push-pull, being nice/being an asshole to me, before I finally got the relevant piece of information to make it all make sense. We really do like and enjoy each other, and bring something very positive out in each other when he lets it happen, but his heart (and head) is tangled up elsewhere. Which means if I can be an adult about it (and considering the difference in ages I'd damn well better be!) we can still enjoy each other's company. But as far as wanting someone in my life and my bed, I need to look elsewhere.

If only the pickings in this godforsaken town weren't so slim, dammit 🙂

Well there you go ... you got someone to tell you he's the one fucked up, and that he's the one responsibile for you losing out on what you called an awesome r/s ..... so you can feel good about playing head games.

PA, I didn't start this thread -- I was merely asking Nefer for clarification on something she'd said in it. We were talking about a completely different relationship. And he *is* fucked up -- he'd be the first to admit it -- but that's hardly a reason I'd choose not to be with him (in fact we have some similar unpleasant experiences in our backgrounds, which make up part of the connection between us). The sag girl with the "awesome" r/s is someone else 🙂

Right, excuse me.

I've never come back because someone chased me down.

It actually works to the opposite. I have to drift off, sulk, think about everything, figure out if I want to have sex with someone new, watch a lot of Law and Order, read some books, take the dog on a walk, and oh wow I wonder what he's up to now that it's been two years later - I'll stalk him on facebook to say hello.

The only person I've ever felt glued to and couldn't shake is the Scorpio I am with now and a large part of me hates that I love it so much. I've never met a Libra or a Sag that was more than a one night stand but I suppose it does work for some people.