ofwhichtochoose
@ofwhichtochoose
12 Years
Comments: 0 · Posts: 52 · Topics: 3
Does this Pisces guy have feelings for me?
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(continued)
As he drove me to my destination, I hesitated but handed him an album which collated all our photographs throughout the years. I wanted to know how he felt about me & have closure.
As he is leaving tomorrow to study his masters on a scholarship in the US, I was reluctant to hand it to him, citing my fears that he would 'disappear'. He promised that he wouldn't and he was grinning as I hesitated and pouted. I thought he'd freak out initially but he seemed happy about it. I told him to call me that night and he promised to.??
Later that night, he texted, "Are you still awake?" but I missed it as I was bawling my eyes out at the thought of losing him. By the time I saw his message and texted that YES, I was still awake, he'd already gone to bed.
3 days went by without any further contact. I took the initiative to text him, "Hey, have you disappeared?" and he replied, "Nope, I'm??still here!" and apologised for not calling me, citing reasons (read: excuses) why he had not done so, as he was busy preparing for his stint in the US. I asked if my phone was gonna ring and he replied, "You want me to call you?". I told him to do so in 20 minutes but he hesistated and said that he was driving. Instantly, I knew that it meant that his girlfriend was next to him, so it would be inconvenient.
Hence, I waited till an hour later to text him but there was no reply. I stayed up all night as I was upset. Just as I was about to turn in, my phone lit up. He apologised (again!) for not calling and deflected with more details about how busy he was and listed his activities for that day before we ended our chat.
It has been almost 2 weeks ever since and he has STILL yet to call.??
As he drove me to my destination, I hesitated but handed him an album which collated all our photographs throughout the years. I wanted to know how he felt about me & have closure.
As he is leaving tomorrow to study his masters on a scholarship in the US, I was reluctant to hand it to him, citing my fears that he would 'disappear'. He promised that he wouldn't and he was grinning as I hesitated and pouted. I thought he'd freak out initially but he seemed happy about it. I told him to call me that night and he promised to.??
Later that night, he texted, "Are you still awake?" but I missed it as I was bawling my eyes out at the thought of losing him. By the time I saw his message and texted that YES, I was still awake, he'd already gone to bed.
3 days went by without any further contact. I took the initiative to text him, "Hey, have you disappeared?" and he replied, "Nope, I'm??still here!" and apologised for not calling me, citing reasons (read: excuses) why he had not done so, as he was busy preparing for his stint in the US. I asked if my phone was gonna ring and he replied, "You want me to call you?". I told him to do so in 20 minutes but he hesistated and said that he was driving. Instantly, I knew that it meant that his girlfriend was next to him, so it would be inconvenient.
Hence, I waited till an hour later to text him but there was no reply. I stayed up all night as I was upset. Just as I was about to turn in, my phone lit up. He apologised (again!) for not calling and deflected with more details about how busy he was and listed his activities for that day before we ended our chat.
It has been almost 2 weeks ever since and he has STILL yet to call.??
(continued)
What I'd like to know is if he has feelings for me. My friends say that he is clearly not just a friend to him. Why would he take me shopping for his trip to??the US and get me to choose clothes for him when his girlfriend can easily (and should) do that for/with him? Why did he not outrightly tell me that he has a girlfriend or reject me when I handed him the photo album and instead, grinned as I touched him? Why did he promise to call, yet doesn't and yet bother to offer reasons/excuses as to why he hasn't done so?
I am confused as I do not know which stance I should adopt.
He is leaving tomorrow. Should I call him? Would he call me? Would he leave without saying goodbye? What should I do?
Why would he surprise me with a birthday celebration when he'd celebrated his girlfriend's birthday just 10 days earlier (yes, a total freaky coincidence)? Why bother to shower me with gifts he had bought from his overseas missions? Why does his actions seem to point towards something but has yet to result in anything—
I can accept his answer / "role" assigned to me, be it that of a friend, girlfriend, _____ (fill in the blank) or otherwise.??
What I would like is a clear-cut answer. If only he would tell me or give a clear indication of the direction that I should head towards.??
What am I to him—😢
What I'd like to know is if he has feelings for me. My friends say that he is clearly not just a friend to him. Why would he take me shopping for his trip to??the US and get me to choose clothes for him when his girlfriend can easily (and should) do that for/with him? Why did he not outrightly tell me that he has a girlfriend or reject me when I handed him the photo album and instead, grinned as I touched him? Why did he promise to call, yet doesn't and yet bother to offer reasons/excuses as to why he hasn't done so?
I am confused as I do not know which stance I should adopt.
He is leaving tomorrow. Should I call him? Would he call me? Would he leave without saying goodbye? What should I do?
Why would he surprise me with a birthday celebration when he'd celebrated his girlfriend's birthday just 10 days earlier (yes, a total freaky coincidence)? Why bother to shower me with gifts he had bought from his overseas missions? Why does his actions seem to point towards something but has yet to result in anything—
I can accept his answer / "role" assigned to me, be it that of a friend, girlfriend, _____ (fill in the blank) or otherwise.??
What I would like is a clear-cut answer. If only he would tell me or give a clear indication of the direction that I should head towards.??
What am I to him—😢
Posted by ofwhichtochoose
Why would he surprise me with a birthday celebration when he'd celebrated his girlfriend's birthday just 10 days earlier (yes, a total freaky coincidence)? Why bother to shower me with gifts he had bought from his overseas missions? Why does his actions seem to point towards something but has yet to result in anything—
Why would you accept bare minimum treatment, and being a side dish?
Don't do anything. He has a girlfriend. Don't chase him.
I'm finding more and more, that the more explanation you seem to feel is needed to make your situation understood, the more you need to move away from the situation. You bawled at the thought of losing a guy you don't even have? You need to step back. For sure, for sure.
haha sorry domz
I was concocting my answer when you posted your command 😛
I was concocting my answer when you posted your command 😛
He's already told you. You just didn't hear it. He's doting over his present girlfriend at the moment. You may be the case of a good friend who's come his way, especially since you've known each other for ages.
He's just being polite to you.
If he hasn't made you feel the queen of his world, then, nope, he doesn't have those romantic feelings for you. You are a good friend to him.
As far as him asking you to choose his clothes for him, it may be that he just wanted a woman's opinion (read: other).
That's all.
He's just being polite to you.
Posted by ofwhichtochoose
(continued)
What I'd like to know is if he has feelings for me.
I can accept his answer / "role" assigned to me, be it that of a friend, girlfriend, _____ (fill in the blank) or otherwise.??
What I would like is a clear-cut answer. If only he would tell me or give a clear indication of the direction that I should head towards.??
What am I to him—😢
If he hasn't made you feel the queen of his world, then, nope, he doesn't have those romantic feelings for you. You are a good friend to him.
As far as him asking you to choose his clothes for him, it may be that he just wanted a woman's opinion (read: other).
That's all.
Posted by ofwhichtochoose
(continued)
What I'd like to know is if he has feelings for me. My friends say that he is clearly not just a friend to him. Why would he take me shopping for his trip to??the US and get me to choose clothes for him when his girlfriend can easily (and should) do that for/with him? Why did he not outrightly tell me that he has a girlfriend or reject me when I handed him the photo album and instead, grinned as I touched him? Why did he promise to call, yet doesn't and yet bother to offer reasons/excuses as to why he hasn't done so?
because that is not how we do things...why would he mess up a good thing (and to a pisces man, this is a good thing)...maybe not the good thing you want it to be, but it is a good thing to him...
Posted by ofwhichtochoose
What I would like is a clear-cut answer.
What am I to him—😢
click to expand
you wanna know what you are to him?
it's clear as day: you are his homegirl (a female, who is a friend, that you can kick it with)...period
--Jack
Posted by ofwhichtochoose
Since I was 15, I've liked this guy. He was musically talented and popular. Our families are friends but we never spoke to each other. 8 years ago, I finally got to know him and he texted me daily from day to night and kept asking me out. As I thought he was too good for me,
This year, he surprised me by celebrating my birthday in mid-November at the penthouse level of a posh building. Thereafter, he went to "fetch a friend" (it was his new girlfriend of 4 months. He had been single for 5 years.)
You've known him for 8 years...
He was single for 5...
And now that he has a girlfriend... you suddenly realize you love him?
It sounds like you are more possessive over a friend that has been a "sure thing" for the last 8 years of your life. I think you should be clear about YOUR feelings. Is this competition?
Pisces can have a way of compartmentalizing their lives and keeping things separate. Perhaps he is not ready to share the details of his girlfriend with you yet, since you have a close friendship and perhaps he doesn't know how it will all "fit" together.
Why would he have to mention the girlfriend. She's right there in front of you.. and on fb. Why should he have to spell it out for you? I would be very suspicious of my friend's motives if they suddenly proclaimed/questioned my feelings for them... as soon as I had found someone.
This discussion from everybody is healthy for me and helps. In relationships/ marriages, words and actions can be very hurtfull to a spouse. Women want LOVE but men in a marriage need respect. One writer said that my wife doesn't owe me anything and I don't owe her. I beg to differ. When two people get married, what is owed is the mutual respect as a person. When it becomes a one street meaning ( I want you to respect me as a person, my career, and my family but I don't have to respect none of yours, it's a problem. When the situation is discussed and I only stops for a little while but later it comes back again, it creates resentment, lack of romance, lack of affection, an intimacy. How can a person be romantic when their spouse insults them and doesn't care what you think about it. No apology nothing. When i my discuss my displeasures to her, its always " you did this". It's never a solution. So at this point I'm tired. When there's a big argument, she always the first to mention divorce. She has told me several a times that when every you are tired of being married, I'll let you go with the children. This has been said more than once.
First of all .... he's taken, and you don't seem to mind that you're stepping ito another woman's territory. You know full well that he has a girlfriend, so in my opinion, you're a fucking cunt.
From this day forward, I hope every single woman who crosses your path realizes that you have no associated guilt should you decide you like her man, because you'll move into her territory with no remorse, and not have a care that she might be getting emotionally injured by you trying to steal her man.
And second ..... if he'll do it with you, he'll do it to you. And I'm hoping that you never figure that out so that it happens to you, so that you get to experience what it feels like to be betrayed.
From this day forward, I hope every single woman who crosses your path realizes that you have no associated guilt should you decide you like her man, because you'll move into her territory with no remorse, and not have a care that she might be getting emotionally injured by you trying to steal her man.
And second ..... if he'll do it with you, he'll do it to you. And I'm hoping that you never figure that out so that it happens to you, so that you get to experience what it feels like to be betrayed.
Posted by peanutsNcrackers
no one answer this, it's obvious
Woah, woah, woah! What happened to this? Now you're going to flip the coin? ok....
nobody is suggesting that the guy isn't treating her poorly.
This is part of the reason it's being recommended she walk away.
You're talking out both sides of your mouth though.
In one post you talk about how everyone seems to be ok with this guy treating her shitty.
In the next post you're talking about "it's a gf, he's not married!"
It's in HER best interests to walk away from this moron. (Oh... and take that to the bank, I'm not defending the pisces 🙂 )
I see a lot of concern for how the Scorpio feels here.
On another note - yes, some people are making different suggestions. It's an open forum. It's not a go-to-guide. You need to relax about other people's opinions. Because believe it or not, you're not the smartest guy in the universe 😄
No offence.
This is part of the reason it's being recommended she walk away.
You're talking out both sides of your mouth though.
In one post you talk about how everyone seems to be ok with this guy treating her shitty.
In the next post you're talking about "it's a gf, he's not married!"
It's in HER best interests to walk away from this moron. (Oh... and take that to the bank, I'm not defending the pisces 🙂 )
I see a lot of concern for how the Scorpio feels here.
On another note - yes, some people are making different suggestions. It's an open forum. It's not a go-to-guide. You need to relax about other people's opinions. Because believe it or not, you're not the smartest guy in the universe 😄
No offence.
Lots of guys treat women as more than friends while having a girlfriend.
The fact of the matter is... if he wanted her, he'd dump his girlfriend. Not flaunt the gf in front of the scorpio.
It's bad news all around. She COULD ask him straight out - if she needs that "closure" (which doesn't really exist, by the way). She should walk away. It will be kinder to her heart. If he really wants the scorpio, he'll find her.
The fact of the matter is... if he wanted her, he'd dump his girlfriend. Not flaunt the gf in front of the scorpio.
It's bad news all around. She COULD ask him straight out - if she needs that "closure" (which doesn't really exist, by the way). She should walk away. It will be kinder to her heart. If he really wants the scorpio, he'll find her.
There is no assumption. He says he'll call. He doesn't.
He's around her when he's in town - and has minimal contact outside of that. He's looking to see if she'll give in and sleep with him.
That's it.
He's around her when he's in town - and has minimal contact outside of that. He's looking to see if she'll give in and sleep with him.
That's it.
False accusations?
You are talking out of both sides of your mouth. I stand by it. I even gave examples.
Word play it all you like. You're still all over the place.
You are talking out of both sides of your mouth. I stand by it. I even gave examples.
Word play it all you like. You're still all over the place.
Posted by ninjafish
The guy sounds like a fucking fag. He gets facials and wants to do catwalk parades in front of her to see which pants look sexiest on him (and I bet they're all tight fits). Not that I have anything against gay dudes of course, but wtf. Sorry, the OP pissed me off. I refrained from posting, but this is just disgusting and I threw up a little in my mouth.
I will end up hiding my post, yes.
lol no problem ninjers.
Exactly. "option" should be substituted for every place someone said she was being treated as "more than a friend".
You let me know if you change your mind later sweets 😉 and I'll hide it lol
All of your posts back up my claims. No need for me to explain myself further.
You go back and practice reading comprehension.
A) I was speaking in past tense. I already GAVE examples.
B) Go find em boy. Go! Go! Find the examples. They're there! Get em!
Lates ninjers!
A) I was speaking in past tense. I already GAVE examples.
B) Go find em boy. Go! Go! Find the examples. They're there! Get em!
Lates ninjers!
Hello, Everybody. Thank you so much for your input. I'm sorry that I have omitted our history.
Let me provide more details to give you a clearer picture.
== Adolescence ==
Enamoured with this Pisces guy, I stood afar to admire him but never did speak to him. He was too good for me as he was handsome, popular, musically gifted and academically inclined. Both of us hailed from the nation's top colleges and I topped my cohort consistently in a certain subject and was in the elite class of my faculty. Despite this, I felt inferior and was contented to see him weekly at a place which we'd gather in separate social circles. His parents were my family friends and the adults would hang out together at times.
As the years went by, the weekly wrangle persisted. Eventually, he took notice of me. He would throw a cursory glance when I appeared and I would smile to myself. Still, silence persisted and all there was were glances and coy blushes.
== 2005 ==
10 years had gone by since my heart was first set aflutter. Through sheer luck, I finally got to know him. We started chatting and it soon became apparent that something was brewing. I would awake with cutesy texts awaiting me and smile as they kickstarted my day. He would continue texting throughout the day till he went to bed. We would also be glued to the computer on MSN Live Messenger for up to 12 hours, sacrificing sleep and resorting to eating by the computer. Occasionally, he would call but this was kept brief. He badgered me to go out with him but I rejected him repeatedly.
On a particular day, he called me and claimed to be within the vicinity. He had me cornered and so, that marked our first 'date'. We had our first meal and he fed me ice-cream. The night ended well with laughs and cheeky grins. Subsequently, he'd ask me out frequently and I'd drop everything to be with him.
Fear kept me from forging ahead. I was contented to have The One showering much attention on me. When I blogged about a frivolously happy day, he asked, "Are you happy? Have I contributed to your happiness?" That put a smile on my mien.
We never told each other about how we felt. Silence permeated but I was happy to maintain this status quo. After all, my fantasy had seemingly transpired into reality.
However, this happiness would be shortlived.
Let me provide more details to give you a clearer picture.
== Adolescence ==
Enamoured with this Pisces guy, I stood afar to admire him but never did speak to him. He was too good for me as he was handsome, popular, musically gifted and academically inclined. Both of us hailed from the nation's top colleges and I topped my cohort consistently in a certain subject and was in the elite class of my faculty. Despite this, I felt inferior and was contented to see him weekly at a place which we'd gather in separate social circles. His parents were my family friends and the adults would hang out together at times.
As the years went by, the weekly wrangle persisted. Eventually, he took notice of me. He would throw a cursory glance when I appeared and I would smile to myself. Still, silence persisted and all there was were glances and coy blushes.
== 2005 ==
10 years had gone by since my heart was first set aflutter. Through sheer luck, I finally got to know him. We started chatting and it soon became apparent that something was brewing. I would awake with cutesy texts awaiting me and smile as they kickstarted my day. He would continue texting throughout the day till he went to bed. We would also be glued to the computer on MSN Live Messenger for up to 12 hours, sacrificing sleep and resorting to eating by the computer. Occasionally, he would call but this was kept brief. He badgered me to go out with him but I rejected him repeatedly.
On a particular day, he called me and claimed to be within the vicinity. He had me cornered and so, that marked our first 'date'. We had our first meal and he fed me ice-cream. The night ended well with laughs and cheeky grins. Subsequently, he'd ask me out frequently and I'd drop everything to be with him.
Fear kept me from forging ahead. I was contented to have The One showering much attention on me. When I blogged about a frivolously happy day, he asked, "Are you happy? Have I contributed to your happiness?" That put a smile on my mien.
We never told each other about how we felt. Silence permeated but I was happy to maintain this status quo. After all, my fantasy had seemingly transpired into reality.
However, this happiness would be shortlived.
This chick sounds like LadyScorpP and letthemeatcake. Your story reads like crappy romantic fiction...
I think there are two trolls in this thread.
I think there are two trolls in this thread.
(continued)
Due to certain circumstances, I was compelled to make a clean 'break' with him. It was not explicitly expressed but our sombre expressions spoke volumes. That night has left an indelible imprint in my memory. As I bade him goodbye and my taxi rattled into the distance, I turned around and watched his diminishing figure crumple by the kerb. It crushed me and I wept bitterly throughout my journey home.
However, my attempt to pull away would only serve as a backlash.
He'd call me in the middle of the night in a drunken stupor and rattled on random subjects. Even when I was overseas, he'd call till I answered my phone. When he knew that I was meeting my friends at a certain place, he turned up and my friends commented that they would have thought that he was my significant other, judging from the way he'd decide on certain orders for me and tried to feed me in the presence of my friends.
This would soon end as he had to work overseas for almost a year.
== 2006 ==
When he returned, we met up but it was awkward. Still, he gave me a ride on his bike (this was before he had a car) and insisted that I put on his windbreaker and cover up for modesty as he didn't want other motorists leering at me. I wasn't decked in anything revealing - a simple green loose tube top and black jeans.
By then, everything seemed to have waned. Or so, I thought.
Due to certain circumstances, I was compelled to make a clean 'break' with him. It was not explicitly expressed but our sombre expressions spoke volumes. That night has left an indelible imprint in my memory. As I bade him goodbye and my taxi rattled into the distance, I turned around and watched his diminishing figure crumple by the kerb. It crushed me and I wept bitterly throughout my journey home.
However, my attempt to pull away would only serve as a backlash.
He'd call me in the middle of the night in a drunken stupor and rattled on random subjects. Even when I was overseas, he'd call till I answered my phone. When he knew that I was meeting my friends at a certain place, he turned up and my friends commented that they would have thought that he was my significant other, judging from the way he'd decide on certain orders for me and tried to feed me in the presence of my friends.
This would soon end as he had to work overseas for almost a year.
== 2006 ==
When he returned, we met up but it was awkward. Still, he gave me a ride on his bike (this was before he had a car) and insisted that I put on his windbreaker and cover up for modesty as he didn't want other motorists leering at me. I wasn't decked in anything revealing - a simple green loose tube top and black jeans.
By then, everything seemed to have waned. Or so, I thought.
== 2007 ==
He was posted overseas again for work. When he returned, he rode his bike to my workplace. Claiming to be merely 5 minutes away from my workplace, he insisted that I meet him at the ground level of the building. Excusing myself awkwardly from my task at hand, I scurried to the ground floor. As the doors of the elevator parted, he stood before me. He handed the gift to me and looked into my eyes. He took another step forward with his eyes still affixed on me. Anticipating a kiss or something of a similar notion, I took a step back as fear overwhelmed me. I was afraid that I would throw all caution to the wind and kiss him in return. We spoke about his impending work event in the next few days and I promised that I would turn up.
On the day of said event, I was flabbergasted to learn that I was the only friend who'd turned up. Thankfully,I had two gal pals whom I'd brought along for company. There was a female friend by his side but he abandoned her and kept me company throughout the day. When his subordinates teased him about me being his girlfriend, he said nothing but smiled. He even got them to form a line and chime goodbye to me. (Yes, he holds a prominent position at his workplace.)
Elated, I was sure that this would cumulate into a relationship.
However, a couple of days later, he dropped a bomb. "I've told her." My mind spiralled into an abyss. It turned out to be the female I'd seen at his workplace. He had hinted of a dilemma and had chosen her. I sank into deep depression thereafter. I resigned from my job and stopped working for almost half a year. I was crippled emotionally and mentally.
He was posted overseas again for work. When he returned, he rode his bike to my workplace. Claiming to be merely 5 minutes away from my workplace, he insisted that I meet him at the ground level of the building. Excusing myself awkwardly from my task at hand, I scurried to the ground floor. As the doors of the elevator parted, he stood before me. He handed the gift to me and looked into my eyes. He took another step forward with his eyes still affixed on me. Anticipating a kiss or something of a similar notion, I took a step back as fear overwhelmed me. I was afraid that I would throw all caution to the wind and kiss him in return. We spoke about his impending work event in the next few days and I promised that I would turn up.
On the day of said event, I was flabbergasted to learn that I was the only friend who'd turned up. Thankfully,I had two gal pals whom I'd brought along for company. There was a female friend by his side but he abandoned her and kept me company throughout the day. When his subordinates teased him about me being his girlfriend, he said nothing but smiled. He even got them to form a line and chime goodbye to me. (Yes, he holds a prominent position at his workplace.)
Elated, I was sure that this would cumulate into a relationship.
However, a couple of days later, he dropped a bomb. "I've told her." My mind spiralled into an abyss. It turned out to be the female I'd seen at his workplace. He had hinted of a dilemma and had chosen her. I sank into deep depression thereafter. I resigned from my job and stopped working for almost half a year. I was crippled emotionally and mentally.
Posted by shellshocker
This chick sounds like LadyScorpP and letthemeatcake. Your story reads like crappy romantic fiction...
I think there are two trolls in this thread.
lol, I thought it was her, first paragraph into the "story"
== 2008 ==
Eventually, I pulled myself together and started piecing my life together again. Still, every free moment would have me in bitter tears as I regretted pulling away out of fear. Fear had cost me everything.
During this period of time, he stopped contacting me. However, his relationship would be shortlived. After less than a year, he broke up with her. I knew that this would mean that he would appear in my life again.
Sure enough, he texted me one day, "Babe, you resigned? Why didn't you tell me?" I was floored by the audacity of his casual remark. It was as if nothing had transpired. He knew that I was utterly depressed during his 'absence' yet he was, attempting to bridge the gap of time. Still, my anger ebbed and gave way to a smile as he asked me out.
He surprised me with a treat at a Japanese fine dining place and commented that my outfit was very nice. Had I dressed up just to meet him? I was flabbergasted but kept silent.
He had bought a car and was no longer riding a bike. He sent me home and we took some photographs before he left. The flurry of texts and messages soon resumed.
== 2009 ==
Afraid to rock the boat, I maintained the status quo out of cowardice. He hinted of a celebration on Valentine's Day but work meant that it fizzled out. On Christmas Eve, he requested to meet me. I flew out of the house and met him in an hour. He handed me a gift and said, "Merry Christmas, babe." I was ready to confront him but circumstances meant that our time together was abrupt and nothing was said yet again.
== 2010 ==
His birthday soon arrived. This was 2 months after Christmas. I made a cheesecake for the first time in my life (I'm known to be the culinary gourmet of palatables and not of the kitchen variety. Haha!) He was surprised and ate every bit of it. He even washed the martini glass that I'd used and said that he would keep it. Of the candle on the cheesecake, this was also to be kept on his table.
== 2011 ==
He went away on a business trip yet again. I teased him about returning with presents for me and delivering a pizza to my doorstep. He actually promised to message me when he returned. However, I got into a really bad situation while he was away and once again, I avoided him. When he returned, true to his word, he texted, "I'm back." However, he was met with stony silence as I could not meet him. I was in bad shape physically and it took me almost a year to recover from my injuries. (No, it was not any addic
Eventually, I pulled myself together and started piecing my life together again. Still, every free moment would have me in bitter tears as I regretted pulling away out of fear. Fear had cost me everything.
During this period of time, he stopped contacting me. However, his relationship would be shortlived. After less than a year, he broke up with her. I knew that this would mean that he would appear in my life again.
Sure enough, he texted me one day, "Babe, you resigned? Why didn't you tell me?" I was floored by the audacity of his casual remark. It was as if nothing had transpired. He knew that I was utterly depressed during his 'absence' yet he was, attempting to bridge the gap of time. Still, my anger ebbed and gave way to a smile as he asked me out.
He surprised me with a treat at a Japanese fine dining place and commented that my outfit was very nice. Had I dressed up just to meet him? I was flabbergasted but kept silent.
He had bought a car and was no longer riding a bike. He sent me home and we took some photographs before he left. The flurry of texts and messages soon resumed.
== 2009 ==
Afraid to rock the boat, I maintained the status quo out of cowardice. He hinted of a celebration on Valentine's Day but work meant that it fizzled out. On Christmas Eve, he requested to meet me. I flew out of the house and met him in an hour. He handed me a gift and said, "Merry Christmas, babe." I was ready to confront him but circumstances meant that our time together was abrupt and nothing was said yet again.
== 2010 ==
His birthday soon arrived. This was 2 months after Christmas. I made a cheesecake for the first time in my life (I'm known to be the culinary gourmet of palatables and not of the kitchen variety. Haha!) He was surprised and ate every bit of it. He even washed the martini glass that I'd used and said that he would keep it. Of the candle on the cheesecake, this was also to be kept on his table.
== 2011 ==
He went away on a business trip yet again. I teased him about returning with presents for me and delivering a pizza to my doorstep. He actually promised to message me when he returned. However, I got into a really bad situation while he was away and once again, I avoided him. When he returned, true to his word, he texted, "I'm back." However, he was met with stony silence as I could not meet him. I was in bad shape physically and it took me almost a year to recover from my injuries. (No, it was not any addic
Likely, it's the same Fish she sent the letter too, in which scard him so bad, he to come up with a fiance real quick.
And then the story about the father, to whom she had to give up her whole life for .. then ended up he was just a sperm donor.
She concerns me ... surely people like this end up running someone over, putting on a diaper and driving to Florida, or walks into a school and shoots whatever moves .... because let's face it, she is psychotic since she believes these things she says.
And then the story about the father, to whom she had to give up her whole life for .. then ended up he was just a sperm donor.
She concerns me ... surely people like this end up running someone over, putting on a diaper and driving to Florida, or walks into a school and shoots whatever moves .... because let's face it, she is psychotic since she believes these things she says.
Posted by IntriguedScorpPosted by P-AngelPosted by shellshocker
This chick sounds like LadyScorpP and letthemeatcake. Your story reads like crappy romantic fiction...
I think there are two trolls in this thread.
lol, I thought it was her, first paragraph into the "story"
It was the "heart aflutter" that got me thinking it was LadyP. Well at least we get the story now. :/
I'm still laughing at Ellusive's photo. Oh Em Gee! lolclick to expand
haha... how much "flabbergasting" can one take?
== 2012 ==
I finally recovered and was hesitant to establish contact with him again. In August, he had asked me out repeatedly but once again that dreaded fear kept me from agreeing. Shortly after, he got together with this current girlfriend which I'd mention at the beginning.
He intentionally let me know that he was going away to the US to study for his masters. It was only because of this that I finally decided to meet him. And that meeting was the celebration of my birthday which I'd also mentioned at the start of this thread.
So yes, he's leaving within 24 hours.
My stupidity has resulted in my own abyss and continual loss.
Yet, at this moment, I am still afraid to ask him anything.
I am known to be highly intellectual at work and a go-getter. I'm successful and lead a certain life style . My abode is in a prime district. I have outshone this Pisces guy in terms of material success but my friends cannot comprehend why rationale and common sense are tossed into the gutter when it comes to him.
To me, materialism cloaks my unhappiness. Of regrets and past hurts.
Which is why I'm clutching at the final straws and wonder if I should just call him within the next 24 hours before he lives and will not return at all for the next two years.
I know this is all pretty silly and hyperbolic, to the point of being an incredible tale of fiction. But this is the story of my life and my misery for the last 8 years, of a man I'd set my sights on 18 years ago.
I thank you all for your patience and kind understanding.
I finally recovered and was hesitant to establish contact with him again. In August, he had asked me out repeatedly but once again that dreaded fear kept me from agreeing. Shortly after, he got together with this current girlfriend which I'd mention at the beginning.
He intentionally let me know that he was going away to the US to study for his masters. It was only because of this that I finally decided to meet him. And that meeting was the celebration of my birthday which I'd also mentioned at the start of this thread.
So yes, he's leaving within 24 hours.
My stupidity has resulted in my own abyss and continual loss.
Yet, at this moment, I am still afraid to ask him anything.
I am known to be highly intellectual at work and a go-getter. I'm successful and lead a certain life style . My abode is in a prime district. I have outshone this Pisces guy in terms of material success but my friends cannot comprehend why rationale and common sense are tossed into the gutter when it comes to him.
To me, materialism cloaks my unhappiness. Of regrets and past hurts.
Which is why I'm clutching at the final straws and wonder if I should just call him within the next 24 hours before he lives and will not return at all for the next two years.
I know this is all pretty silly and hyperbolic, to the point of being an incredible tale of fiction. But this is the story of my life and my misery for the last 8 years, of a man I'd set my sights on 18 years ago.
I thank you all for your patience and kind understanding.
*apologies for the typo. It should be "before he LEAVES"
Hello
I apologise if I've evoked the ire of many by posting the entire details of what has transpired. I genuinely sought advice because there is nobody whom I trust enough to confide in, save for a good friend who has her own share of problems.
He has left for the USA and has spent his New Year in Disneyland. His study term will commence soon. He told me on the eve of his departure that he would contact me when he is in the US. I told him to remember me, just as I would remember him and he promised that he would. I guess it was another lie to placate me.
I guess the amount of tears and heartache are only real to myself. Rationale goes out of the window when it comes to this Pisces guy.
I'm no longer a teen nor even in my twenties. I have a successful career and a nice life style . How does this even make sense to you when I grapple to make sense of it myself?
Sorry once again if I've irritated anyone.
I apologise if I've evoked the ire of many by posting the entire details of what has transpired. I genuinely sought advice because there is nobody whom I trust enough to confide in, save for a good friend who has her own share of problems.
He has left for the USA and has spent his New Year in Disneyland. His study term will commence soon. He told me on the eve of his departure that he would contact me when he is in the US. I told him to remember me, just as I would remember him and he promised that he would. I guess it was another lie to placate me.
I guess the amount of tears and heartache are only real to myself. Rationale goes out of the window when it comes to this Pisces guy.
I'm no longer a teen nor even in my twenties. I have a successful career and a nice life style . How does this even make sense to you when I grapple to make sense of it myself?
Sorry once again if I've irritated anyone.
Hi once again.
This may seem like a monologue but I have to ask anyway.
I will not be posting any more questions in this thread after this,
But I'd like to know after all that I've been through, did he
1) treat me just as a good friend?
2) have feelings for me?
3) think I was good enough to be a side dish (but not good enough to be an official girlfriend)?
The turmoil within is not knowing what role I play.
I can accept being a nobody or a good friend etc.
But the Scorpio in me needs a defined path before I can head along towards freedom and find closure.
Thanks so much if you bother to reply to this final question.
This may seem like a monologue but I have to ask anyway.
I will not be posting any more questions in this thread after this,
But I'd like to know after all that I've been through, did he
1) treat me just as a good friend?
2) have feelings for me?
3) think I was good enough to be a side dish (but not good enough to be an official girlfriend)?
The turmoil within is not knowing what role I play.
I can accept being a nobody or a good friend etc.
But the Scorpio in me needs a defined path before I can head along towards freedom and find closure.
Thanks so much if you bother to reply to this final question.
He is now single.
I've cut off contact with him ever since he left, not even liking his posts or pictures on Facebook.
Then I noticed his behaviour turning rather odd when his birthday arrived in February. Every year, I would make it a point to make a big deal out of his birthday by texting, writing a poem and posting a song on his Timeline.
What transpired was him having many friends wishing him a Happy Birthday. I remained silent.
He wrote a note about his birthday 2 days later. I continued to remain silent.
3 days later, pictures of how his friend and the latter's wife had made a cake for him appeared. He had worn the polo tee that I'd bought for him as a birthday present before he left. I ignored it.
Thereafter, he'd use "our words" / lingo that we'd made up, infusing them into the articles/videos that he posted. I'd return this gesture similarly. Yet, nary a word has been exchanged between us in a direct manner.
He was hurt about his birthday and he didn't mince his words despite posting them on Facebook. Initially, I'd thought that it was meant for his girlfriend but then it became evident that it was meant for me as he would reiterate my blog topic of the day ever since.
I dismissed the notion that his girlfriend was now out of the picture. How could it be? They had barely been together for a year and she had flown to be with him for Christmas before returning to our country in mid-January.
Yesterday, his status was confirmed.
He is now an eligible bachelor.
Yet, I am dismissing everything as a coincidence and that nothing has changed. This stance is to protect myself from being shattered again.
He seems to be hinting repeatedly that he'd like me to take the initiative to re-establish contact. My friends tell me that it is evident and yet, I am turning my head the other way because the greater the expectation, the greater the fear of disappointment.
What should I do? I honestly do not know.
I've cut off contact with him ever since he left, not even liking his posts or pictures on Facebook.
Then I noticed his behaviour turning rather odd when his birthday arrived in February. Every year, I would make it a point to make a big deal out of his birthday by texting, writing a poem and posting a song on his Timeline.
What transpired was him having many friends wishing him a Happy Birthday. I remained silent.
He wrote a note about his birthday 2 days later. I continued to remain silent.
3 days later, pictures of how his friend and the latter's wife had made a cake for him appeared. He had worn the polo tee that I'd bought for him as a birthday present before he left. I ignored it.
Thereafter, he'd use "our words" / lingo that we'd made up, infusing them into the articles/videos that he posted. I'd return this gesture similarly. Yet, nary a word has been exchanged between us in a direct manner.
He was hurt about his birthday and he didn't mince his words despite posting them on Facebook. Initially, I'd thought that it was meant for his girlfriend but then it became evident that it was meant for me as he would reiterate my blog topic of the day ever since.
I dismissed the notion that his girlfriend was now out of the picture. How could it be? They had barely been together for a year and she had flown to be with him for Christmas before returning to our country in mid-January.
Yesterday, his status was confirmed.
He is now an eligible bachelor.
Yet, I am dismissing everything as a coincidence and that nothing has changed. This stance is to protect myself from being shattered again.
He seems to be hinting repeatedly that he'd like me to take the initiative to re-establish contact. My friends tell me that it is evident and yet, I am turning my head the other way because the greater the expectation, the greater the fear of disappointment.
What should I do? I honestly do not know.
Hello, Freespirit,
Thanks so much for replying.
I've not contacted him ever since he left. I've treated him as non-existent even when he tried to get my attention by either sharing my articles (he has never done that), rewording what I blog and uses words/lingo that are known only to us.
Yet, he has not contacted me directly.
He has hinted that he was sore about what I 'did not say', which I assume was letting his birthday slip this time. He also stated that he is 'hurt that I did not understand him' and that things have always been fine OVER THE YEARS in this manner, why 'make arbitrary demands on him suddenly'?
Because I've been reiterating "FORWARD" as my personal slogan (thanks, Mr President for that slogan) as well, he posted a cryptic status last week : "__________ or Forward to the Past?" It is as clear as day that he is in a dilemma between his (ex)girlfriend and me.
The last time he had a dilemma was in 2007, as exemplified in my story earlier in this thread, where he brought me to his workplace and his subordinates teased and asked if I were his girlfriend. But thereafter, he dropped the bomb and told me, "I told her that I liked her." It was a week after he had tried to kiss me after handing me a gift from his overseas mission and disrupting my work in the process and a couple of days after he showed me off at his workplace.
That left me scarred and afraid till this day.
Hence, in order to protect myself, I have chosen to steer clear of this Pisces.
Yes, Freespirit, if he wants me, he will contact me.
He has pursued me with great interest, calling and texting and disrupting my work / holiday and found silly excuses to meet me in the past.
Second place is not a prize.
Goodbye, Pisces.
I hope that I will be able to remove him from my life completely one day.
That is the rational part of me speaking.
The heart tarries for a sliver, but my brain is taking the lead. For now. 🙂
Thanks so much for replying.
I've not contacted him ever since he left. I've treated him as non-existent even when he tried to get my attention by either sharing my articles (he has never done that), rewording what I blog and uses words/lingo that are known only to us.
Yet, he has not contacted me directly.
He has hinted that he was sore about what I 'did not say', which I assume was letting his birthday slip this time. He also stated that he is 'hurt that I did not understand him' and that things have always been fine OVER THE YEARS in this manner, why 'make arbitrary demands on him suddenly'?
Because I've been reiterating "FORWARD" as my personal slogan (thanks, Mr President for that slogan) as well, he posted a cryptic status last week : "__________ or Forward to the Past?" It is as clear as day that he is in a dilemma between his (ex)girlfriend and me.
The last time he had a dilemma was in 2007, as exemplified in my story earlier in this thread, where he brought me to his workplace and his subordinates teased and asked if I were his girlfriend. But thereafter, he dropped the bomb and told me, "I told her that I liked her." It was a week after he had tried to kiss me after handing me a gift from his overseas mission and disrupting my work in the process and a couple of days after he showed me off at his workplace.
That left me scarred and afraid till this day.
Hence, in order to protect myself, I have chosen to steer clear of this Pisces.
Yes, Freespirit, if he wants me, he will contact me.
He has pursued me with great interest, calling and texting and disrupting my work / holiday and found silly excuses to meet me in the past.
Second place is not a prize.
Goodbye, Pisces.
I hope that I will be able to remove him from my life completely one day.
That is the rational part of me speaking.
The heart tarries for a sliver, but my brain is taking the lead. For now. 🙂
Thank you for your input. I truly value each response as it takes time to craft your ideas and sentences. No, I am not patronizing you because different opinions offer perspectives that I would not have otherwise.
It takes me by surprise to be told that I am in control now. I'd thought that all along, the initiative should be on his part. I would love to listen to the rationale behind this. I was honestly surprised to have read that.
Today marks a significant event. It is yet another work event that is taking the nation by storm. (Yes, it is the same event as 2007 when he left me devastated. It is held every few years.)
This time, I won't be there. After all, he is studying in the US now and will not be at this local event anyway.
I admit that pride is preventing me from taking the initiative to even text him. My stance is that I had left him a photo album of our moments together over the years. It was on the final night before he left for the US. Also, I had asked him to call me on that same night but he failed to do so. As mentioned, he did not call but asked the next day if I wanted him to call but when I said yes, he failed to call again. Then he would give a tonne of excuses the next day why he did not call. This happened THRICE before he left for the US.
What is the point of asking me if he wanted me to call but failed to do so when I said yes?
Once, twice, and even thrice?
To boost his ego? To test me?
I do not know what he is thinking.
In my opinion, my mindset is that I have already laid the cards out in his face with our photos collated in a handmade album and that I wanted him to call me after he got home.
What is his motive in doing so? Is this his apprehension of being hurt? I, too, am afraid of being shattered again.
The suggestion is to make a move first. Is that advisable as he is a Pisces and any added pressure would make him swim away?
I am steering clear of him now to protect myself. If he calls or texts, I would reply.
But I know he wouldn't.
If I meant anything, he would not leave me lingering and tarrying all these years, and not especially just before he left for the US.
Am I wrong in my analysis? Please feel free to offer your opinions. Thank you. 🙂
It takes me by surprise to be told that I am in control now. I'd thought that all along, the initiative should be on his part. I would love to listen to the rationale behind this. I was honestly surprised to have read that.
Today marks a significant event. It is yet another work event that is taking the nation by storm. (Yes, it is the same event as 2007 when he left me devastated. It is held every few years.)
This time, I won't be there. After all, he is studying in the US now and will not be at this local event anyway.
I admit that pride is preventing me from taking the initiative to even text him. My stance is that I had left him a photo album of our moments together over the years. It was on the final night before he left for the US. Also, I had asked him to call me on that same night but he failed to do so. As mentioned, he did not call but asked the next day if I wanted him to call but when I said yes, he failed to call again. Then he would give a tonne of excuses the next day why he did not call. This happened THRICE before he left for the US.
What is the point of asking me if he wanted me to call but failed to do so when I said yes?
Once, twice, and even thrice?
To boost his ego? To test me?
I do not know what he is thinking.
In my opinion, my mindset is that I have already laid the cards out in his face with our photos collated in a handmade album and that I wanted him to call me after he got home.
What is his motive in doing so? Is this his apprehension of being hurt? I, too, am afraid of being shattered again.
The suggestion is to make a move first. Is that advisable as he is a Pisces and any added pressure would make him swim away?
I am steering clear of him now to protect myself. If he calls or texts, I would reply.
But I know he wouldn't.
If I meant anything, he would not leave me lingering and tarrying all these years, and not especially just before he left for the US.
Am I wrong in my analysis? Please feel free to offer your opinions. Thank you. 🙂
He tried many ways to get my attention after I wrote that. He wrote these in his status update :
1) "You're awesome, I know. Go out there and be a positive influence"
(My mantra all these years is 'Doing the Right Thing'. My passion is helping the elderly, children and needy.)
2) "I am highly selective. I don't have the time nor inclination to meet everyone so if I meet you, you are really, really special even if you are not THE one. But if you are willing to, I'd love for you to ride on this journey with me."
I've been writing poetry all these years in private. I was a Literature student, so my anguish ignites such linguistic garnishings whenever I am in anguish.
After I'd posted that I was going to join Poetry Slams and tasked with the honour of writing a poem for my friend's wedding, he started writing 'bad' poetry that ran on for 10 lines or more. (They were really just rhyming lines without pentameters, mood and other jargon that Lit students would be trained in.) He would do that for EVERY status update for the next two weeks.
That didn't elicit any response from me.
Then his grandmother passed away in mid June. His grandmother meant the world to him, even more so than his parents. (He did not have a good relationship with his parents. He sees them "on a need-to basis".) That broke the silence as I texted him, "I'm sorry for your loss, I'm sorry that I cannot be there. Be strong and of good courage. She would want you to be Happy. She would want you to be as amazing as you have always been." However, all I received was a polite and rather icy "Thank you, ___ (my name)."
Currently, he is on summer vacation in South America and will return to the US to continue with his masters after Independence Day.
I thought that the consolatory message would have broken down the walls and he would resume talking to me. However, it seems that he has been ignoring me after that message.
For the first time since he left, I commented on one of his holiday pictures that the skies and sea were gorgeous. (He knows that I love the skies, sun and sea and I would post pictures of these every few days.) He didn't reply nor acknowledge my comment.
As such, I feel extremely dumb and naive.
I've tried to reach out and broke the silence but am not getting the response that I thought he would give.
Why would he put in so much of effort to get my attention with all his lil antics but treat me coldly and even ignore me after I broke the ice?
1) "You're awesome, I know. Go out there and be a positive influence"
(My mantra all these years is 'Doing the Right Thing'. My passion is helping the elderly, children and needy.)
2) "I am highly selective. I don't have the time nor inclination to meet everyone so if I meet you, you are really, really special even if you are not THE one. But if you are willing to, I'd love for you to ride on this journey with me."
I've been writing poetry all these years in private. I was a Literature student, so my anguish ignites such linguistic garnishings whenever I am in anguish.
After I'd posted that I was going to join Poetry Slams and tasked with the honour of writing a poem for my friend's wedding, he started writing 'bad' poetry that ran on for 10 lines or more. (They were really just rhyming lines without pentameters, mood and other jargon that Lit students would be trained in.) He would do that for EVERY status update for the next two weeks.
That didn't elicit any response from me.
Then his grandmother passed away in mid June. His grandmother meant the world to him, even more so than his parents. (He did not have a good relationship with his parents. He sees them "on a need-to basis".) That broke the silence as I texted him, "I'm sorry for your loss, I'm sorry that I cannot be there. Be strong and of good courage. She would want you to be Happy. She would want you to be as amazing as you have always been." However, all I received was a polite and rather icy "Thank you, ___ (my name)."
Currently, he is on summer vacation in South America and will return to the US to continue with his masters after Independence Day.
I thought that the consolatory message would have broken down the walls and he would resume talking to me. However, it seems that he has been ignoring me after that message.
For the first time since he left, I commented on one of his holiday pictures that the skies and sea were gorgeous. (He knows that I love the skies, sun and sea and I would post pictures of these every few days.) He didn't reply nor acknowledge my comment.
As such, I feel extremely dumb and naive.
I've tried to reach out and broke the silence but am not getting the response that I thought he would give.
Why would he put in so much of effort to get my attention with all his lil antics but treat me coldly and even ignore me after I broke the ice?
As a fellow scorpio I know that we can be stubborn and hold onto relationships that should be let go of. We try to make puzzles fit even if it there are missing pieces. We want to know why? We want to know that that person DOES like us. That we are number one.
What you need to do if follow your scorpio hunch. Most likely that is telling you this is NOT the real deal. You know the answer already. You want to hear people post what they think to get different opinions. That is all good, but we are not in your situation. I know this because I have done it.
Does he still have a girlfriend? If yes, it is time for you to really let him go. Is he in the US? Another reason for you to let him go. It seems like you are currently there at his convenience. Who wants that?? You are holding on instead of living your life while he is living his. From my opinion it sounds like he cares a lot about you. It also seems like he is leading you on. Learn from this and please stop holding on. Step 1, cut off all contact!!!
What you need to do if follow your scorpio hunch. Most likely that is telling you this is NOT the real deal. You know the answer already. You want to hear people post what they think to get different opinions. That is all good, but we are not in your situation. I know this because I have done it.
Does he still have a girlfriend? If yes, it is time for you to really let him go. Is he in the US? Another reason for you to let him go. It seems like you are currently there at his convenience. Who wants that?? You are holding on instead of living your life while he is living his. From my opinion it sounds like he cares a lot about you. It also seems like he is leading you on. Learn from this and please stop holding on. Step 1, cut off all contact!!!
Hello, thanks for replying!
He broke up with his new girlfriend in Feb/March, shortly after he arrived in the US. I knew they would not last. If he had honestly loved his girlfriend, he would never have taken me to celebrate my birthday, hide his phone under the table, etc. (Back in 2007, when he had his previous girlfriend, we did not have any contact till he broke up with that girlfriend.) He have been embroiled in this for far too long that there are certain red flags to look out for in order to ascertain his relationship.
He will be back in 9 months (March 2014). His stint in the US is slightly more than a year and 6 months have already gone by.
What I do believe is that we were never simply doe-eyed friends but I cannot fathom why he would come close and swim away, only to repeat this over and over again. As you know, this has been the cycle for 8 years.
aNEWday, I honestly appreciate you poring through my lengthy writings and am heartened that you are able to empathise as you have done this before.
I guess what us Scorpios need is a very clear and specific direction. The answer may hurt, but is secondary. It is the dilemma that gnaws away at us. It is the uncertainty that plagues our subconscious.
My scorpio hunch tells me that currently, he is lying low. But I know that when he returns to my nation, he will look for me and possibly pretend that nothing has ever happened.
I am not asking to be THE one.
Like you've kindly taken the time to evaluate and mention, he does care a lot for me. When we are together, he makes me feel really, really safe, protected and special. Yet, at the same time, it is not enough to garner an answer from him.
I know that the Pisces male cannot be cornered. Hence, whenever he swims away, all I do is repress my emotions, bottle it up, cry and unleash my agony in the form of writings. I am not the sort to confront him nor present ultimatums. These are futile and do not work, in my opinion.
My cynical take on this is that our septic 'relationship' works because he gets to be on my pedestal while I am rewarded with his lavish attention and sweet gestures. Because I am known to peers as someone who is opinionated, independent and ambitious, it is sweeter a prize to him to be on my pedestal as few are able to enter my circle of trust, let alone be adulated. Nobody has been this patient with him except me.
Each time I tried to let go, he would appear the moment when my life returned to normalcy.
He broke up with his new girlfriend in Feb/March, shortly after he arrived in the US. I knew they would not last. If he had honestly loved his girlfriend, he would never have taken me to celebrate my birthday, hide his phone under the table, etc. (Back in 2007, when he had his previous girlfriend, we did not have any contact till he broke up with that girlfriend.) He have been embroiled in this for far too long that there are certain red flags to look out for in order to ascertain his relationship.
He will be back in 9 months (March 2014). His stint in the US is slightly more than a year and 6 months have already gone by.
What I do believe is that we were never simply doe-eyed friends but I cannot fathom why he would come close and swim away, only to repeat this over and over again. As you know, this has been the cycle for 8 years.
aNEWday, I honestly appreciate you poring through my lengthy writings and am heartened that you are able to empathise as you have done this before.
I guess what us Scorpios need is a very clear and specific direction. The answer may hurt, but is secondary. It is the dilemma that gnaws away at us. It is the uncertainty that plagues our subconscious.
My scorpio hunch tells me that currently, he is lying low. But I know that when he returns to my nation, he will look for me and possibly pretend that nothing has ever happened.
I am not asking to be THE one.
Like you've kindly taken the time to evaluate and mention, he does care a lot for me. When we are together, he makes me feel really, really safe, protected and special. Yet, at the same time, it is not enough to garner an answer from him.
I know that the Pisces male cannot be cornered. Hence, whenever he swims away, all I do is repress my emotions, bottle it up, cry and unleash my agony in the form of writings. I am not the sort to confront him nor present ultimatums. These are futile and do not work, in my opinion.
My cynical take on this is that our septic 'relationship' works because he gets to be on my pedestal while I am rewarded with his lavish attention and sweet gestures. Because I am known to peers as someone who is opinionated, independent and ambitious, it is sweeter a prize to him to be on my pedestal as few are able to enter my circle of trust, let alone be adulated. Nobody has been this patient with him except me.
Each time I tried to let go, he would appear the moment when my life returned to normalcy.
Each time I tried to let go, he would appear the moment when my life returned to normalcy. This is emotionally draining. If he were to leave me alone, I would be able to bounce back on my own terms and time. It is when he draws near, that my defences are pulverised and all resolute is absolved. Every ounce of my stoicism melts away and I forget the hurt, the pain, the tears and only remember the good. It is a personality flaw of mine as I tend to see the sliver of good in others instead of focusing on their shortcomings.
"Yes / I once did," is all that I seek. An affirmation from him.
My friend offers another perspective. She thinks that if he presents me with an answer, I would then stop fawning over him and he would have lost his only emotional support. He is afraid to lose me that way and so, by baiting me time and time again, he will have my constant attention.
I do not know if this is so.
All I want is to know and then decide if it is a certainty to let go.
:::: bangs head on desk ::::
Posted by ofwhichtochoose
This is emotionally draining.
yep, pisces have a way of doing this. & is this what you want to continue dealing with? Because it wont stop. I think not. its not healthy.
Posted by ofwhichtochoose
It is when he draws near, that my defences are pulverised and all resolute is absolved. Every ounce of my stoicism melts away and I forget the hurt, the pain, the tears and only remember the good. It is a personality flaw of mine as I tend to see the sliver of good in others instead of focusing on their shortcomings.
again, pisces knows this and continues because you allow it. make a decision and stick to it. otherwise you will continue on this ferris wheel.
Posted by ofwhichtochoose
All I want is to know and then decide if it is a certainty to let go.click to expand
no. he will not decide. you make the decision. why the heck would you want to be his option?
Posted by ofwhichtochoose
I guess what us Scorpios need is a very clear and specific direction. The answer may hurt, but is secondary. It is the dilemma that gnaws away at us. It is the uncertainty that plagues our subconscious.
oh yes, boy do i understand. It's not going to be clear, obviously. You might need to reread what you have written and see if you would like to put up with that cynical take for much longer! 😉
Well, if it is any consolation, he replied to my comment on his photo.
If you do remember that he'd brought me to celebrate my birthday at a posh penthouse level restaurant in November 2012, I'd checked in on Facebook but he did not let my name show up. There were a couple of photographs as well - some were individual shots that I'd taken of him (He has a gorgeous smile and would gamely pose every time and sometimes, he'd do silly poses to make me laugh.) while other shots were of the two of us.
He had allowed only the photographs of himself to be shown on his Timeline. Those that we had taken together? They were never visible on his Timeline, only mine.
He did the same with the Check-In. He had allowed the name of the restaurant to show upon me checking in but had hidden my name.
So, it is June 2013. Like I've mentioned, I'd sent a consolatory message 2 weeks ago when his grandmother passed away. The very next day, he finally allowed my name to show up in the check-in. (I've been checking that bit every single day since November 2012...I apologise for my OCD trait in this.)
Likewise, he took his time to reply to my comment on his photo last week.
It seems to me that each move is calculated. Then again, I must admit that to a certain extent, so are mine. I knew that the consolatory message would break the salient silence a wee bit. True to my expectations, my name was finally revealed in that check-in.
I know it sounds awfully silly and juvenile but it felt significant to me. He had been withholding that for months before deciding that I "deserved" that acknowledgement. It was the only time he had done so. We have had numerous photographs over the years, many of in which we were even mistaken as a couple by acquaintances. He has never 'hidden' me. Till then.
The same can be said of the reply to my comment. He checks his Facebook every few hours. I know that as my newsfeed is inundated with his photographs and updates of his holiday. Being an efficient person, he'd reply to each comment immediately except mine. This too, has never happened before this year.
I wonder if he is treading carefully or what I'd done before he left in December 2012 had ruined the status quo.
He told me that he was bringing all the things that I'd given to him from 2006 till 2012 to the US. That was when he was still with the girlfriend. They broke up 2 months later, before his birthday in February 2013.
If you do remember that he'd brought me to celebrate my birthday at a posh penthouse level restaurant in November 2012, I'd checked in on Facebook but he did not let my name show up. There were a couple of photographs as well - some were individual shots that I'd taken of him (He has a gorgeous smile and would gamely pose every time and sometimes, he'd do silly poses to make me laugh.) while other shots were of the two of us.
He had allowed only the photographs of himself to be shown on his Timeline. Those that we had taken together? They were never visible on his Timeline, only mine.
He did the same with the Check-In. He had allowed the name of the restaurant to show upon me checking in but had hidden my name.
So, it is June 2013. Like I've mentioned, I'd sent a consolatory message 2 weeks ago when his grandmother passed away. The very next day, he finally allowed my name to show up in the check-in. (I've been checking that bit every single day since November 2012...I apologise for my OCD trait in this.)
Likewise, he took his time to reply to my comment on his photo last week.
It seems to me that each move is calculated. Then again, I must admit that to a certain extent, so are mine. I knew that the consolatory message would break the salient silence a wee bit. True to my expectations, my name was finally revealed in that check-in.
I know it sounds awfully silly and juvenile but it felt significant to me. He had been withholding that for months before deciding that I "deserved" that acknowledgement. It was the only time he had done so. We have had numerous photographs over the years, many of in which we were even mistaken as a couple by acquaintances. He has never 'hidden' me. Till then.
The same can be said of the reply to my comment. He checks his Facebook every few hours. I know that as my newsfeed is inundated with his photographs and updates of his holiday. Being an efficient person, he'd reply to each comment immediately except mine. This too, has never happened before this year.
I wonder if he is treading carefully or what I'd done before he left in December 2012 had ruined the status quo.
He told me that he was bringing all the things that I'd given to him from 2006 till 2012 to the US. That was when he was still with the girlfriend. They broke up 2 months later, before his birthday in February 2013.
It was because of what had happened just before he left for his 15-month US stint -- my birthday and the shopping for essentials that he'd required for his stay -- that has gnawed away at me.
He never gave me my answer on the final night.
He never called despite telling me he would. THRICE. (before he left)
And I guess, he never will.
I know that if I were to actively text him, he would respond and everything would fall in place as if nothing has happened. But that's not what I want.
I would love for him to take the initiative like before.
I was a teen when I first fell for him. We finally became close when we were in our early 20s. We are now in our 30s. This has spanned across TWENTY YEARS. Fancy that!
How long can this continue? It is a ridiculous plot, by any measure and yet, it is the sad reel of my life thus far.
It will continue for as long as I allow it to. At the back of my mind, I know this to be true.
My best friend had been assigned to work in Japan for 5 years and so, I'd sent her off at the airport last week. As we hugged for a final goodbye, I broke down and quivered. My best friend knew that I was thinking of him. And she was right. I pictured him checking in, heading towards the boarding gate, boarding the plane, dozing off mid-flight, etc. Did he think of me?
I apologize for the haphazard organization of thoughts in this post. It is close to 5am in my country and I'm feeling terribly upset at the evoking of these memories.
Thanks to all for being so patient and helpful.
He never gave me my answer on the final night.
He never called despite telling me he would. THRICE. (before he left)
And I guess, he never will.
I know that if I were to actively text him, he would respond and everything would fall in place as if nothing has happened. But that's not what I want.
I would love for him to take the initiative like before.
I was a teen when I first fell for him. We finally became close when we were in our early 20s. We are now in our 30s. This has spanned across TWENTY YEARS. Fancy that!
How long can this continue? It is a ridiculous plot, by any measure and yet, it is the sad reel of my life thus far.
It will continue for as long as I allow it to. At the back of my mind, I know this to be true.
My best friend had been assigned to work in Japan for 5 years and so, I'd sent her off at the airport last week. As we hugged for a final goodbye, I broke down and quivered. My best friend knew that I was thinking of him. And she was right. I pictured him checking in, heading towards the boarding gate, boarding the plane, dozing off mid-flight, etc. Did he think of me?
I apologize for the haphazard organization of thoughts in this post. It is close to 5am in my country and I'm feeling terribly upset at the evoking of these memories.
Thanks to all for being so patient and helpful.
The fourth of July came and went.
He's online as I type and so am I. Both of us have been posting photos as if on cue.
If I were to drop him a line, it'd pick up again from there.
Yet, here I am, typing furiously away in this tiny window.
I am highly tempted to drop him a message,
1) "Be it a friend or otherwise, I have missed you."
2) "Be it a friend or otherwise, I have missed you. Have you missed me too?"
Which is the right way to word my message?
How should I phrase it such that the fish would be inclined to reply positively?
Are there any other suggestions?
Thank you for your help. 🙂
He's online as I type and so am I. Both of us have been posting photos as if on cue.
If I were to drop him a line, it'd pick up again from there.
Yet, here I am, typing furiously away in this tiny window.
I am highly tempted to drop him a message,
1) "Be it a friend or otherwise, I have missed you."
2) "Be it a friend or otherwise, I have missed you. Have you missed me too?"
Which is the right way to word my message?
How should I phrase it such that the fish would be inclined to reply positively?
Are there any other suggestions?
Thank you for your help. 🙂
I am prepared to be fully open with him.
But apprehension and fear (typical Scorpio traits) are swallowing me whole as I do not wish to text a long message only to have a curt reply, if I am lucky or worse, none at all.
It is not in my personality to text someone repeatedly to get a response. Invariably, I would be highly annoyed if someone were to do that to me and I would ignore that person. Hence, my primary concern is not to appear desperate nor annoying and yet, I do want him to respond positively.
My hunch is that he would be friendly, as always but what I really miss is the times when he would tell me everything. He would sneak messages under the table at meetings (He is a high-ranking officer who is very ambitious and so, it meant a lot to me that he would risk that!)
I miss the intimacy. I don't mean it in the physical sense. The closest we've ever done is to rest against each other or have our hands together. His boldest move is an attempt to kiss me all those years ago.
I tell myself that what we have is mere friendship.
But whatever he has done, can I honestly say that it is mere doe-eyed naive friendship?
Can any Pisces men kindly decipher this?
But apprehension and fear (typical Scorpio traits) are swallowing me whole as I do not wish to text a long message only to have a curt reply, if I am lucky or worse, none at all.
It is not in my personality to text someone repeatedly to get a response. Invariably, I would be highly annoyed if someone were to do that to me and I would ignore that person. Hence, my primary concern is not to appear desperate nor annoying and yet, I do want him to respond positively.
My hunch is that he would be friendly, as always but what I really miss is the times when he would tell me everything. He would sneak messages under the table at meetings (He is a high-ranking officer who is very ambitious and so, it meant a lot to me that he would risk that!)
I miss the intimacy. I don't mean it in the physical sense. The closest we've ever done is to rest against each other or have our hands together. His boldest move is an attempt to kiss me all those years ago.
I tell myself that what we have is mere friendship.
But whatever he has done, can I honestly say that it is mere doe-eyed naive friendship?
Can any Pisces men kindly decipher this?
Last night, I re-read his messages to me again before he left. If you have been patient enough to pore through my lengthy expositions of what has transpired, you would remember that after the final meeting, he had asked me thrice if I wanted him to call, but he never did.
***Face to face conversation***
Me (handing him our photos) : You know, I am apprehensive about handing you this. It is why I ran away from you for two years till now.
Him : (smiles briefly) I know.
Me : I am afraid that you will disappear.
Him : I won't. I promise.
Me : What if you do disappear? Then what am I going to do?
Him : If I disappear, then......I won't! I promise you that I won't. (laughs)
Me : Don't laugh! I'm serious. (mock pouts) What if you really disappear?
Him : I won't. You know I won't.
Me : Call me at 10pm?
Him (smiling): OK!
=======================================================
*** Texts ***
Him (2am) : Sorry, I didn't call you at 10pm because it has been a crazy night. A major accident at work has taken place and I spent the entire night dealing with it. (This is true. It was massive in my country and the media was in a frenzy for weeks over this. The vessel in mention was under his charge but he was with me when it took place.) By the time I got back, I had to settle my USA lodging and stuff.....Are you still awake? Still need to call you? I haven't disappeared!
Me (2.35am) : Yes! I am still awake! (I waited till 4 am but he never called.)
================================================
Me (the next morning) : Hey, you've disappeared! 😢
Him : Nope, I am still here! Hey, sorry I dozed off while waiting for your reply. blahblahblah (lists what he is doing for the day)... You want me to call you?
Me : Now?
Him : Er...I'm driving.
Me : OK call me when you have arrived at your destination, ok?
==============================================
Him : (the next morning) Sorry, I was driving a long while and dead tired when I got back. Would have fallen asleep if I didn't continue moving. Rushing to do blahblahblahblah .... I'll call you later, ok?
Me : OK, blahblahblah (makes small talk before he goes off).
=======================================================
***Face to face conversation***
Me (handing him our photos) : You know, I am apprehensive about handing you this. It is why I ran away from you for two years till now.
Him : (smiles briefly) I know.
Me : I am afraid that you will disappear.
Him : I won't. I promise.
Me : What if you do disappear? Then what am I going to do?
Him : If I disappear, then......I won't! I promise you that I won't. (laughs)
Me : Don't laugh! I'm serious. (mock pouts) What if you really disappear?
Him : I won't. You know I won't.
Me : Call me at 10pm?
Him (smiling): OK!
=======================================================
*** Texts ***
Him (2am) : Sorry, I didn't call you at 10pm because it has been a crazy night. A major accident at work has taken place and I spent the entire night dealing with it. (This is true. It was massive in my country and the media was in a frenzy for weeks over this. The vessel in mention was under his charge but he was with me when it took place.) By the time I got back, I had to settle my USA lodging and stuff.....Are you still awake? Still need to call you? I haven't disappeared!
Me (2.35am) : Yes! I am still awake! (I waited till 4 am but he never called.)
================================================
Me (the next morning) : Hey, you've disappeared! 😢
Him : Nope, I am still here! Hey, sorry I dozed off while waiting for your reply. blahblahblah (lists what he is doing for the day)... You want me to call you?
Me : Now?
Him : Er...I'm driving.
Me : OK call me when you have arrived at your destination, ok?
==============================================
Him : (the next morning) Sorry, I was driving a long while and dead tired when I got back. Would have fallen asleep if I didn't continue moving. Rushing to do blahblahblahblah .... I'll call you later, ok?
Me : OK, blahblahblah (makes small talk before he goes off).
=======================================================
I apologize for the detailed conversation that is rather lengthy.
At that point of time, he was still with his new girlfriend (they broke off less than two months later). The conversation and texts took place just after he had brought me to celebrate my birthday. As mentioned, his new girlfriend's birthday was just two weeks before mine. Before this, we had not seen each other for two years, primarily because I had chosen to run away and avoid him.
My mind cannot help but question why would he bring me to celebrate my birthday just after his girlfriend's birthday, especially after not meeting him for two years? He is not one to splurge on food but we had my birthday at the penthouse level of a posh restaurant.
Looking at the conversation and texts, could one say that this was of friendship? He was still with his girlfriend. Why would he engage in this knowingly? The context of our conversation and exchange was as clear as day.
I honestly wonder if I have contributed to their break-up shortly after. I knew that they would not last because when they first got together, he would text me his whereabouts in the world as he went to various lands on mission and told me what he bought for me. His girlfriend was actually with him in those countries! (Kindly remember that I had not seen him for two years. Why would he accumulate things for me without knowing when or even if, he would see me again?)
I knew that she was a substitute but honestly, had expected him to settle and even marry her.
So, with all these as our last exchange before he left for the USA, is this truly mere doe-eyed friendship?
That is my dilemma. Because I do not know the answer, I have no inkling of what to do.
It frustrates me and all I can do is to cry tears that is a myriad of joy, sadness and anger.
Can any Pisces man please explain why this guy did all these? Thanks!
At that point of time, he was still with his new girlfriend (they broke off less than two months later). The conversation and texts took place just after he had brought me to celebrate my birthday. As mentioned, his new girlfriend's birthday was just two weeks before mine. Before this, we had not seen each other for two years, primarily because I had chosen to run away and avoid him.
My mind cannot help but question why would he bring me to celebrate my birthday just after his girlfriend's birthday, especially after not meeting him for two years? He is not one to splurge on food but we had my birthday at the penthouse level of a posh restaurant.
Looking at the conversation and texts, could one say that this was of friendship? He was still with his girlfriend. Why would he engage in this knowingly? The context of our conversation and exchange was as clear as day.
I honestly wonder if I have contributed to their break-up shortly after. I knew that they would not last because when they first got together, he would text me his whereabouts in the world as he went to various lands on mission and told me what he bought for me. His girlfriend was actually with him in those countries! (Kindly remember that I had not seen him for two years. Why would he accumulate things for me without knowing when or even if, he would see me again?)
I knew that she was a substitute but honestly, had expected him to settle and even marry her.
So, with all these as our last exchange before he left for the USA, is this truly mere doe-eyed friendship?
That is my dilemma. Because I do not know the answer, I have no inkling of what to do.
It frustrates me and all I can do is to cry tears that is a myriad of joy, sadness and anger.
Can any Pisces man please explain why this guy did all these? Thanks!
Thank you, everyone!
Noname, IS, aNEWday and to that special individual who bothered to type a long reply to me, THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!
I decided not to kill myself with self-doubt and fear.
I texted him, "It's been a while, a really long while, but hello anyway."
He replied me 5 hours ago and we've been texting each other since. 5 hours and we're going on and on...
His night is my day and the reverse is true.
It's as if nothing has happened. There are no awkward cordial responses.
My pal says that I have lost this 'game' in taking the initiative and that the Pisces knows it. Is this a bad thing?
Throughout the 8 years, what I was most afraid of was losing dignity and holding my head up high. Ironically, my holding on practically negates all these efforts, doesn't it?
As such, it is the happiest I have been ever since he left for USA.
Pisces men, would it be a cardinal sin for me to ask why he never called me despite asking if I wanted him to call me thrice?
Each time we are in contact again, I will sweep everything under the carpet and that is how my unanswered questions are neglected over the years.
But right now, I am SO HAPPY AND GRATEFUL! =)
Noname, IS, aNEWday and to that special individual who bothered to type a long reply to me, THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!
I decided not to kill myself with self-doubt and fear.
I texted him, "It's been a while, a really long while, but hello anyway."
He replied me 5 hours ago and we've been texting each other since. 5 hours and we're going on and on...
His night is my day and the reverse is true.
It's as if nothing has happened. There are no awkward cordial responses.
My pal says that I have lost this 'game' in taking the initiative and that the Pisces knows it. Is this a bad thing?
Throughout the 8 years, what I was most afraid of was losing dignity and holding my head up high. Ironically, my holding on practically negates all these efforts, doesn't it?
As such, it is the happiest I have been ever since he left for USA.
Pisces men, would it be a cardinal sin for me to ask why he never called me despite asking if I wanted him to call me thrice?
Each time we are in contact again, I will sweep everything under the carpet and that is how my unanswered questions are neglected over the years.
But right now, I am SO HAPPY AND GRATEFUL! =)
NoName, thank you in particular for your admonishing. It was tough love but it worked in shaking me up. Had you not scolded me harshly, I would never have taken the step to text him.
I just bade him goodnight and he replied, "Sweet dreams of blue".
"BLUE" : A single word with connotations known only to us.
=) This is the happiest I have been for the past 6 months.
THANK YOU EVERYONE ONCE AGAIN! 🙂)
I just bade him goodnight and he replied, "Sweet dreams of blue".
"BLUE" : A single word with connotations known only to us.
=) This is the happiest I have been for the past 6 months.
THANK YOU EVERYONE ONCE AGAIN! 🙂)
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