satoristarlight
@satoristarlight
11 Years
Comments: 0 · Posts: 98 · Topics: 5
My Pisces best friend has changed...
He's in love with you but too afraid to say it so his actions are speaking for him. :3 he's vibfused about it
Posted by tiziani
Faux daddying is acting like a woman's surrogate father/benefactor as a way to stay close to her without actually taking any emotional risks.
it especially tends to happen after a relationship gone wrong.
Where you take all the risks, you fill in the blanks for him, you make him feel safe. Even though it seems at firstlike it's the other way around.
If he starts buying you meals and telling you how to dress it's a slippery slope.
Anyway, I've been wrong before. I just think.... take your time.
Ok that makes sense. Taking time is good advice. Tbh I am still trying to recover from the shock of it all. He has never told me what to do, he know's I'm a pretty strong willed person.
Posted by SuperMissMan
He's in love with you but too afraid to say it so his actions are speaking for him. :3 he's vibfused about it
I am starting to feel this might be true but as soon as I do I think "As if!! he's my Bestest, that's crazy!"
Soo confused!
You forgot to add in here that you did absolutely nothing to lead him on.
Cuddling, touching, sweet talking .... was all on him, while you did zilch to lead him to believe that it was okay to treat you this way.
You say confused ... but you mean: you are feigning innocence, while he is unjustly, and inappropriately handling you in contradiction of how you lead him to believe you should be treated.
Of course.
Others might be stupid enough to believe that you're innocently confused. I'm not.
Another person is going to treat you according to the signs and signals you give him.
the only deception I see here is in you.
Secondly, and most importantly .... what fucking cunt you are that you are cuddling with another woman's man.
Posted by LittleStar
I have a lot of trouble with the indistinct boundaries.
Anything that starts in something undefined doesn't really go anywhere, in my experience. Not to mention the lack of respect for both parties. Seems like he wants his needs met, but doesn't really care how he goes about getting them met.
To be honest this is what is confusing and worrying me, we have never had a lack of boundaries before, this behavior is very recent, I noticed from summer that he was more caring, I thought perhaps he had simply learnt to value our friendship more. But this affection this crossing of the boundaries is very sudden.
Honestly I'm just trying to make sense of it.
Posted by P-Angel
You forgot to add in here that you did absolutely nothing to lead him on.
Cuddling, touching, sweet talking .... was all on him, while you did zilch to lead him to believe that it was okay to treat you this way.
You say confused ... but you mean: you are feigning innocence, while he is unjustly, and inappropriately handling you in contradiction of how you lead him to believe you should be treated.
Of course.
Others might be stupid enough to believe that you're innocently confused. I'm not.
Another person is going to treat you according to the signs and signals you give him.
the only deception I see here is in you.
Secondly, and most importantly .... what fucking cunt you are that you are cuddling with another woman's man.
THANK YOU!!! I'm like "why the hell is she allowing him to do this stuff and she knows he has a g/f. Both him and her are wrong and have no respect for relationships. This is why people are put off when they like someone but find out they have a best friend of the opposites sex.
THANK YOU!!! I'm like "why the hell is she allowing him to do this stuff and she knows he has a g/f. Both him and her are wrong and have no respect for relationships. This is why people are put off when they like someone but find out they have a best friend of the opposites sex.
I agree.
That is why, as I said...after the first time it happened I took a big step back, which very much upset him. When you care about someone and are close it's not easy to reject them. Especially when he has never tried to kiss me or grope me, or do anything pervy, all he wants to do is hold me close (I think) and that is it.
I barely know this girl, we have met and I like her very much but I have been his friend for a very long time, my loyalty will always be to him and all I ever hear is how unhappy she is making him. I never would have initiated physical contact, but when someone who matters to you, is hurting. How can you turn them away if they ask you for comfort?
If it went ANY further while he was with her, I swear I would slap him silly.
All I am trying to do it make sense of my own inner turmoil, what this means, and how I should handle it.
I am sure people have done FAR more horrible things that lay and cuddle their friend on these forums. Let's keep the reaction proportionate.
Posted by tizianiPosted by satoristarlight
I barely know this girl, we have met and I like her very much but I have been his friend for a very long time, my loyalty will always be to him and all I ever hear is how unhappy she is making him. I never would have initiated physical contact, but when someone who matters to you, is hurting. How can you turn them away if they ask you for comfort?
Same answer, out of loyalty to them. Believe in someone, for me, means to turning into their emotional crutch. Push them to face their responsibility. One you start committing to things, your confusion disappears.
I only say take your time because you should also be prepared for the idea that nothing of any significance may actually ever happen. And then how are you doing to deal with that? Even close friends go years without having to deal with the side of them that has to apologise for using one another.click to expand
As long as he was happy I wouldn't be upset if he stayed with her, but this has caused me some confusion. There have been a lot of little gestures, caring things that he never did before. I feel kind of stupid for being so oblivious to it all until it became affectionate. But I was hung up on some Aqua and never even considered the Pisces to be anything but my friend.
I think at this stage it would hurt if nothing came of it. But I would take some time for myself then I would want to stay friends.
Posted by LittleStar
I would never believe anyone that complained about their partner making them miserable all the time yet stayed with them. That is whining, not the truth. There is still something they are getting out of the equation.
He's been unhappy for months but he admits he does love her and doesn't want to hurt her, I don't think he's "in" love with her anymore.
I don't think he's a bad person, I have known him so long and I know he tries to do his best by people, he's not perfect but he's not bad.
I think I'm going to have to try and step away from him until this situation between them either ends or I get over it. It's going to hurt me a lot because he's an important part of my life. But I don't see what other choice I have.
Posted by satoristarlightPosted by LittleStar
I would never believe anyone that complained about their partner making them miserable all the time yet stayed with them. That is whining, not the truth. There is still something they are getting out of the equation.
He's been unhappy for months but he admits he does love her and doesn't want to hurt her, I don't think he's "in" love with her anymore.
I don't think he's a bad person, I have known him so long and I know he tries to do his best by people, he's not perfect but he's not bad.
I think I'm going to have to try and step away from him until this situation between them either ends or I get over it. It's going to hurt me a lot because he's an important part of my life. But I don't see what other choice I have.click to expand
I agree with you, best to step away. Sounds like he's in flux and has opened a window before closing a door.
Also, are you sure you even feel more for him or are you just getting caught up in his attention?
I agree with you, best to step away. Sounds like he's in flux and has opened a window before closing a door.
Also, are you sure you even feel more for him or are you just getting caught up in his attention?
I don't know 😢 I can't stop thinking about him but I'm also so shocked, I can see what is staring me in the face but I am stunned that he could have feelings for me after how long we have remained platonic.
This is someone who will drop everything to be there for me, he always gives me his time and his advice. I had an abusive partner at one stage and he even risked his safety to "rescue" me from a dangerous situation.
Starting to think the right person has been under my nose all along and it never even dawned on me.
All of that doesn't matter because he has a girlfriend.
If he starts something more with you before breaking with her I'm sure he'll have a lot of guilt involved and could bounce back and forth between the two of you. What's the rush, you've been friends for awhile anyway, don't mess that up and be "that girl."
Let him handle his business while you take time to sort out how you feel.
If he starts something more with you before breaking with her I'm sure he'll have a lot of guilt involved and could bounce back and forth between the two of you. What's the rush, you've been friends for awhile anyway, don't mess that up and be "that girl."
Let him handle his business while you take time to sort out how you feel.
uote>Posted by satoristarlight
As long as he was happy I wouldn't be upset if he stayed with her, but this has caused me some confusion.
Really !!!
Him staying with her, or not ... has nothing to do with you and how you feel.
Posted by satoristarlight
.... step away from him until this situation between them either ends or I get over it.
click to expand
.... until YOU get over it?
Reading between the lines, it becomes obvious that this thread is really about you wanting more of him, and he's not taking your bait.
My wish is that he realizes how deceptive you are, and steps away from you.
Posted by P-Angel
Posted by satoristarlight
As long as he was happy I wouldn't be upset if he stayed with her, but this has caused me some confusion.
Really !!!
Him staying with her, or not ... has nothing to do with you and how you feel.
Posted by satoristarlight
.... step away from him until this situation between them either ends or I get over it.
.... until YOU get over it?
Reading between the lines, it becomes obvious that this thread is really about you wanting more of him, and he's not taking your bait.
My wish is that he realizes how deceptive you are, and steps away from you.click to expand
I find it really weird how you just assume things, you're full of shit love.
If someone you care about suddenly starts treating you differently. Wanting to be close to you a lot etc, of course you are going to start thinking about it A LOT. Maybe I had feelings all along but I was not aware of them until he started to do this stuff.
I have explained I stepped back as soon as it began, I have explained I am now again stepping back because I am starting to feel something myself, I have explained that I do nothing but encourage his relationship with her and that I like her. Seriously are you this stupid?
People like you, those who just want to pick a fight and show aggression really sadden me, I have seen you all over these boards, it is clear you do this purely to make every thread about YOU, You're a very ugly person and I won't be reading your posts from this point onwards.
Posted by shellshocker
All of that doesn't matter because he has a girlfriend.
If he starts something more with you before breaking with her I'm sure he'll have a lot of guilt involved and could bounce back and forth between the two of you. What's the rush, you've been friends for awhile anyway, don't mess that up and be "that girl."
Let him handle his business while you take time to sort out how you feel.
Yeah, I agree completely. I could never live with myself if I was the reason they split, and if I keep seeing him it's going to keep stirring things up in me.
I'm going to have to leave him alone, feeling pretty heart broken. He's my rock. But everyone involved deserves better than this.
Is that question for me HotBeefy? am I aware of what sorry?
Not sure dear, you quoted a large chunk of text 🙂
Posted by satoristarlight
I have explained that I do nothing but encourage his relationship with her
R>Posted by satoristarlight
On Xmas day he invited me over, and cooked a whole dinner for me, after he just wanted to lay on the couch and hold me. He stroked my hair (and smelled it) massaged my neck.
This meeting resulting in cuddling again.
As much as I know its wrong I really like being close to him like that. This time was different, it was like he was trying to pull me closer and closer. It only lasted a little while then he left.
Posted by satoristarlight
When he cuddles me I just kind of lay there ..... I just let him hold me.
Posted by satoristarlight
..... but when someone who matters to you, is hurting. How can you turn them away if they ask you for comfort?
click to expand
Actually .... you encourage him.
so when you said, "I have explained that I do nothing but encourage his relationship with her", it was another one of your lies.
You lie to him ... now you're trying to lie in here.
Again, my hope is that he realizes you're a deceptive and manipulative bitch, and steps away from you. He actually deserves better than you.
Trust me it's him, I ignored him all day today, in the end he started sending suggestive texts, I told him if he didn't stop he was going to get a slap.
He is desperately trying to get out of the friend zone.
He is desperately trying to get out of the friend zone.
I'm not fake, I'm confused AF
Posted by Hotbeefy
Then I'm talking to a fake person wanting to play a innocently game. Seriously, stop being denial. Even a Taurus can see something fishy going on there.
I don't get this forum, I came here hoping for some constructive advice and just get insulted. Hotbeefy, I have agreed with you. Your messages became sorta cryptic, and because I didn't understand I'm now fake?
Forget it, I know I'm not a bad person. I am a confused one, but if no one here can be helpful I'll handle it on my own.
Posted by satoristarlight
I came here hoping for some constructive advice and just get insulted.
... if no one here can be helpful
So, let me get this straight .. because a couple people said things you don't like .. you then grouped everyone's voice together to state that "just get insulted", and "no one here can be helpful".
So, the people who did actually cater to your ego, and gave you advice ... you forgo them, to proclaim that nobody helped you.
You're not the good person you think you are. In fact, considering that you did that when there actually were people who took time out of their life FOR you - makes you shitty person.
Oh I should be eternally grateful because you took time out of your day to make insinuations about me that are completely false and turn this thread in to one big argument?
Either give me some CONSTRUCTIVE thoughts about my situation in a polite manner, or go away. I am already stressed out as it is.
Thank you.
Either give me some CONSTRUCTIVE thoughts about my situation in a polite manner, or go away. I am already stressed out as it is.
Thank you.
Posted by P-Angel
Posted by satoristarlight
On Xmas day he invited me over, and cooked a whole dinner for me, after he just wanted to lay on the couch and hold me. He stroked my hair (and smelled it) massaged my neck.
This meeting resulting in cuddling again.
As much as I know its wrong I really like being close to him like that. This time was different, it was like he was trying to pull me closer and closer. It only lasted a little while then he left.
Posted by satoristarlight
When he cuddles me I just kind of lay there ..... I just let him hold me.
Posted by satoristarlight
..... but when someone who matters to you, is hurting. How can you turn them away if they ask you for comfort?
click to expand
Thank you again. I thought I was the only one catching on to how she contradicts herself. They've probably slept together, and now she's hoping he's developing feelings for her, leaves his girlfriend for her, thus elevating their situation from "treetrunk buddy" status to relationship.
Posted by partiallyimpartialPosted by satoristarlight
Oh I should be eternally grateful because you took time out of your day to make insinuations about me that are completely false and turn this thread in to one big argument?
Either give me some CONSTRUCTIVE thoughts about my situation in a polite manner, or go away. I am already stressed out as it is.
Thank you.
wut is it u want 2 hear?
I don't particularly want to hear anything, I'm mostly just shocked and confused and needed to figure things out.
an observation: this is why its probably best 2 not maintain CLOSE friendships with exes. im guiltyclick to expand
Hotbeefy, you quoted a novel sized wall of text and expected me to simply "know" which specific part you were referring to, this is not my fault. I'm not "acting innocent" at all, in fact I think I have been pretty clumsy in the way I have handled this whole thing. But if you were in my head right now you probably would too.
She saw the bolded text .... she pretends
Posted by satoristarlight
I am already stressed out as it is.
Ah, poor baby ..... she's so stressed out now that she realizes that her game didn't work
Posted by SagTheArcher17
Thank you again. I thought I was the only one catching on to how she contradicts herself. They've probably slept together, and now she's hoping he's developing feelings for her, leaves his girlfriend for her, thus elevating their situation from "treetrunk buddy" status to relationship.
There's no doubt in my mind that she let him do her (whatever this doing is) with intentions of playing a game to try and get him to want her, to get him to leave his girlfriend for her.
That didn't happen, probably because he figured her game out, and so this thread was created to try and act innocently confused.
This should be obvious to her viewing audience .... considering her audience also has friends in where they know they don't lay in bed and spoon them.
btw .... she saw the bolded text. But, she's trying to keep up a scheme here, so obviously she has to pretend to misunderstand.
What is likely the REAL reality is that the Fish knows her game and is fucking with her. We're like that at times. When we realize there is one amongst us that is ignorant, we fuck with them.
Don't know what I would have to gain from lying, If I wanted to get him to like me I would ask for advice about that. I KNOW he likes me.
Anyway I'm pretty sure he's about to end it with her, he told me he hasn't felt the same since she asked him back two weeks ago. My response was that he had two choices: he could either commit himself to her 100% and make it work or cut his losses, he didn't even skip a beat, just said he's done. That's his choice.
P-Angel, You are 100% wrong. It has been years since I ever saw him in a romantic way. But his recent behavior has got me seeing him in a whole new light, I don't want to fuck him, been there done that, 4 years ago before he met her. I think maybe he has realized we are meant to be together and I'm starting to think I might agree.
I think it says a lot about you that you go out of your way to create deceptive scenarios around people who come here for help and guidance, just because you are rotten inside doesn't mean everyone else is.
Anyway I'm pretty sure he's about to end it with her, he told me he hasn't felt the same since she asked him back two weeks ago. My response was that he had two choices: he could either commit himself to her 100% and make it work or cut his losses, he didn't even skip a beat, just said he's done. That's his choice.
P-Angel, You are 100% wrong. It has been years since I ever saw him in a romantic way. But his recent behavior has got me seeing him in a whole new light, I don't want to fuck him, been there done that, 4 years ago before he met her. I think maybe he has realized we are meant to be together and I'm starting to think I might agree.
I think it says a lot about you that you go out of your way to create deceptive scenarios around people who come here for help and guidance, just because you are rotten inside doesn't mean everyone else is.
Ah the bold part of the text, thanks to the user who pointed that out I missed it.
I am aware? yes...I think I expressed my confusion right from my first post. The first time he wanted to lay and hold me was in November, they were broken up again at the time. I asked him what the hell had got in to him, he only gave me a vague response. It was when he blew her off on Xmas day to be with me that alarm bells really started ringing in my head. Again I asked him why he had done this and got vague answers.
I dunno there's something about someone wanting to hold you and stroke your hair, it felt amazing. Since then I notice him staring, he's constantly worried he might have upset me because I keep trying to pull away but when I do he's now all I can think about. I ignored him all day yesterday...I was planning to do this for as long as possible. In the end he started sending sexual and romantic messages, there's no doubt in my mind now that his feelings have changed and I guess mine have to.
Regardless, if anything is to happen he would have to have been single for at least a few weeks. I'm not getting involved in some messy triangle, I don't believe in being "the other woman" and I honestly believe he would never try to put me in that position.
I am aware? yes...I think I expressed my confusion right from my first post. The first time he wanted to lay and hold me was in November, they were broken up again at the time. I asked him what the hell had got in to him, he only gave me a vague response. It was when he blew her off on Xmas day to be with me that alarm bells really started ringing in my head. Again I asked him why he had done this and got vague answers.
I dunno there's something about someone wanting to hold you and stroke your hair, it felt amazing. Since then I notice him staring, he's constantly worried he might have upset me because I keep trying to pull away but when I do he's now all I can think about. I ignored him all day yesterday...I was planning to do this for as long as possible. In the end he started sending sexual and romantic messages, there's no doubt in my mind now that his feelings have changed and I guess mine have to.
Regardless, if anything is to happen he would have to have been single for at least a few weeks. I'm not getting involved in some messy triangle, I don't believe in being "the other woman" and I honestly believe he would never try to put me in that position.
Posted by partiallyimpartialPosted by satoristarlight
AI don't want to fuck him, been there done that, 4 years ago before he met her. B I think maybe he has realized we are meant to be together and I'm starting to think I might agree.
hhhhmmmm
which one, which one?
p.s. u need to tread carefully if u go with B because ur convincing urself u agree with the inner feelings
that u have made up of sum1 else.
i dont think u have a good grasp of how pisces men operate :/click to expand
How so?
No Piss angel wasn't right, she never is. She has clearly suffered some serious misery in her past so she bitterly devoted her life to being an internet troll.
Personally I think I know him better than anyone does, I have seen the way he seduces normally, he is usually charming, a bit smooth, romantic even cocky.
Recently the way he has been behaving with me is affectionate, almost clingy (but not smothering) seeking my approval, my advice, sensitive to my moods and extremely nurturing. He's always been caring but this is something else, and we normally spend the holidays together but never alone. So I know something is seriously up. This isn't like him at all.
Anyway if anyone would like to advise me based on the information I have given I am all ears, It doesn't matter if people here believe me or not, everything I have written is the truth. I am conflicted and confused certainly, but that was the entire point of coming here for advice.
Posted by tiziani
My first girlfriend was a Cancer. She used to stroke my head in the most soothing manner in her lap. Like the goddess of relaxation looking over me.
Awww that's adorable, we do tend to be very loving
I seem to go in to a trance- like state when he does it.
Ok Partially impartial, now THAT was constructive advice, thank you!
I thought maybe he was taking a different approach because he knows me so well.
You could be right about this, it would sadden me but I sure won't rule it out.
The only thing that baffles me is for months he has been doing sort of romantic things, like the huge bouquet of flowers, wanting to be around me tons more, telling me that any man I'm interested in isn't good enough for me.
The affection only started in late November, this other stuff has been going on since the summer.
He did tell me though, that he might be staying with her because he's scared of being alone, this set alarm bells off.
I thought maybe he was taking a different approach because he knows me so well.
You could be right about this, it would sadden me but I sure won't rule it out.
The only thing that baffles me is for months he has been doing sort of romantic things, like the huge bouquet of flowers, wanting to be around me tons more, telling me that any man I'm interested in isn't good enough for me.
The affection only started in late November, this other stuff has been going on since the summer.
He did tell me though, that he might be staying with her because he's scared of being alone, this set alarm bells off.
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