Old Friends & Lovers.

Ok. I am in need of opinions from you guys and would appreciate your input/s on a personal problem. I have an old best friend and a past lover that I feel might be having some kind of fling thing, behind my back. I could just be paranoid, but let me explain...

This Pisces Male that I used to date a long time ago stopped talking to me. [and I have a previous posting on that subject]. I was not sure why he suddenly backed off from me, but now I have become suspicious. I have an old friend and she is considered my very closest friend throughout my lifetime, ever since I knew what a friend was. I live in Houston, Texas and she is still in New York, where we met and grew up together, until I married and moved to Texas.

I called her a few months ago when I got back into contact with my old flame, [which lives in New York, as well]. I called her to tell her the news that he and I were communicating and immediately she offered to call him for me saying that she lives in New York as well and that it would save me money if she'd make the call for me. [she is divorced] And she requested to see a picture of him and said that if I wasn't going to get together with him that she would consider. I had replied that it wouldn't be such a good thing for me, regardless, if she would consider. I'm not sure if that's selfish or not [since i am in an unhappy marriage] ..on my part? But after seeing a picture of him, she said that he wasn't her type.

Anyway.. to make a long story short, things between he and I were going very smoothly and then suddenly he stopped talking to me and ignored me; wouldn't answer any of his calls, when I'd call. I had said something to hurt him unintentionally and also I then found out that he and she had talked on the phone right after that disturbing email that I had sent him. As I had stated on a previous entry, that he is writing a book and was including clips and events of people he used to know back-in-the-days. So, he gave her a call, at my request, to also include her in the book, as of myself. I dont know.. but considering that I live in Houston, I had requested new and updated photos of him on which he never sent me, but I sent him a photo album of me back when we dated, leading to a recent picture of myself. He sent my old friend pictures of him, including a picture of him thinking at the beach. I found that kind of disturbing and too personal. I was hurt by his actions.

I dont know.. but I feel that something is brewing between them, now I ask: Am I selfish considering that I am still in a marriage..but not even did they give me a chance to see [since he and i both proclaimed that we still have some kind of feelings left between us] when I visit New York again this coming January. I called her after she sent me the picture online of a recent photo of him. She claims that he isn't her type but that if he were, maybe she would have taken up with him. I called him up and finally he answered his phone and was very rude to me.. [as i was rude as well] then his tone of voice mellowed and said that I was being negative is why he acted this way. I would think that letting me know instead of avoided me would have been nice. And he claims that he hasn't met up with her and nothing is going on. I kind of ended the conversation [because i felt that he gave up too soon] on a positive note with my most sincere feelings and told him to take care of himself [which he didn't reply much] and that I was sorry that things didn't work out. He responded in the tone of voice that he used when things were good between us. I am just so confused not knowing if they are together and hiding it, or that it isn't going on behind my back but that he's just moved on.

I dont know .. what do you think? I just know that my heart pounded 2 beats and skipped one as I was saying good-bye. I know that I feel great love for him. I felt that he did too, or was that just his sweet nature?

i think u need to get a divorce.

I'm not getting into a relationship with him, but it really hurts to think that they are going to be together. And I will never know if he really cared. It's just a sad situation for me, being that I am sensitive and also very sentimental. My husband knows all and we are trying to work out our differences, but that doesnt mean we will stay together. He and I both know that something is missing within the relationship. And I hurt because of this old lover.
Thanx for your concern.