Relationships with Pisces Men...Is it worth it? (Page 2)

"Then when I tried to break up with him we argued but I think he was only upset because I did it first."

—

"So its over now. I'll miss him."

—?

Gosh. Your posts are all in mess. Anyway, my statement stands. You couldn't handle him.

This is not true. I'm not trying to defend him. I've already told you that you did the right thing by telling him "go". Now where do I defend him? What I try to tell you is that you cant esabilish fully understandable communication with him without any damage to your relaitonship.

I said you did the right thing because I based my judgement on the information given by you. But this information is not as deep as I could extract from this person. Therefore if the situation would happen to me, then my judgement could be different from yours.

" you cant esabilish fully understandable communication with him without any damage to your relaitonship."

You cant understand him fully in the particular given time.

AW Cancerlady.

I'm gonna spare you the whole, "it's not his zodiac sign that matters" speech... and basically say this.. neither 1, nor 2, nor 800, can represent them all.

I think every man from any given zodiac has their "challenges", and to be fair- your Mr. Pisces could have other factors on his natal chart that may have made your union difficult- perhaps a Venus in Capricon, a Saggitarius moon, Mars in Gemini-- or whatever-whoever (I'm not trying to be specific).

Bottom line, sounds like THIS pisces was not the guy for you, but does that make all pisces unworthy of your love? Nah- I would say not. I mean, I had a horrible experience with an Aries male, but that wouldn't stop me from getting back in the saddle. It will be a live and learn type situation. Same should go for you.

Head up chick
-sTD

Haffo...

You are absolutely right in saying I couldn't handle him, but I CAN handle the truth and I don't care HOW MUCH you justify his or anyone's reasoning behind lies...a lie is a lie is a lie and THAT has been my biggest problem.

You do both have a point though about voicing concerns early. I have a tendency to hold things in until I explode (usually for something stupid LOL)

I'm not trying to understand the inner workings of the Pisces male or any other male for that fact. If I did that, it would become VERY BORING!

STD you are right, I was just a bit frustrated. Have you read any of the older Pisces boards posts? The reason I said they are not suited for my tastes is that EVERYONE was complaining about the same things and I am beginning to believe if not all, MOST Pisces men have these same issues.

Cancerlady

Cancerlady. You have asked me how can I speak about relationships when I didn't have any. Yes you are right. In first glance it looks like a person speaks out of his mind. This is not true. First, I rarely went into the details of particular relationship with Pisces males. Second, since I'm also a Pisces male, I could judge the situation from my personal viewpoint (which is the most). Third, I have many Pisces male friends with whom I have no communication problems. I have no problems in handling problems with them. I guess everyone seeks that part in them, since this forum is somewhat always based on "problems". And finally, one of these Pisces friends of mine is married and has problems with marriage. He keeps me very close to his problems, details and so on. Now you can make better decision about worth of my comments.

That's the problem itself Cancerlady. When you dont know how to handle, all what they do looks like a lie.

There is one thing about your P-Man Cancerlady, that ticks my mind. Why did he made you pregnant if he wants an abortion?

HAFFO!

THEY WERE LIES! UNTRUTHS! WHAT HE TOLD ME WAS NOT REALITY!

I wish you would stop freaking saying it "seems" like a lie. See this is what I am talking about. If he told me he is not seeing anyone else and I find out he was still with his baby mama...THAT IS A LIE! It does not "seem" like one...it just is!
If he says he is going to come in five min. and he doesn't show up...IT IS A LIE! He might have an excuse for what happened but it is still a LIE! Stop defending lying as if it is okay...It's not! Even when I do it, it is wrong! I know that so I try to always tell the truth, BUT he doesn't!

Damn, now I REALLY believe that all Pisces men live in a fantasy world! He lives in a world of double standards and now it "seems" like you do too!

By the way...I still respect your opinion as a person but as far as relationships there is not much you can tell me until you EXPERIENCE one. Now you are only working in THEORY. It's like when my mom and married sister try to give me advice on being a single woman...It goes in one ear and right out the other because they have BOTH been married since they were 18/19 respectively. What can they tell me about being single in the society we live in...NOTHING!

Besides, I think you are relating this story to yourself and how you would react to the situation and like STD said ALL PISCES ARE DIFFERENT! Also I wonder if cultural differences play a part too. Hmmm.

Cancerlady

Haffo

According to him...I was trying to trap him even though he KNEW he was not wearing a condom and he didn't even bother to "pull out" so HONESTLY your guess is as good as mine.

I really think it was an accident on both parts. The whole thing is...when he was acting excited he was once again playing the part of ---Let me tell her I don't want her to have an abortion because it makes me look like the good guy. So he told me he didn't want me to have one when he thought I was still undecided but leaning more towards abortion.

THEN

When I told him I made my decision to keep it...His WHOLE story changed IMMEDIATELY! Now he's like I said before...I'm not ready, I thought you were more progressive and abortion wouldn't be a moral problem for you.

Okay, I know I told him at first that I was definitely having an abortion, but I was scared. I told him WHY I said that and he said he understood. Every since then he has been trying to pick fights with me until just a few days ago he actually told me to move on with my life beause he doesn't want to be "needed" and I was trying to trap him.

I can understand about him changing his mind...but he refused to take responsibility for his actions! He kept blaming the whole thing on me! Like I did it on purpose! I just know when it came down to the wire...he was not there for me so he probably never will be. I am just trying to face facts now and move on with my life.

I need to return to Happy-Go-Lucky and Witty Cancerlady!

By the way Haffo,

I am not attacking you...Like I said I respect your opinion and I am happy that you come forth with advice. Please don't take any of this the wrong way!

CL

Yes you are right. He is a liar. But, does that is the real problem? You are allowed him to make you pregnant. Right? So he is only % 50 guilty. The other % 50 is yours. I mean no bashing, just from curiousity; What were you thinking when you allowed it? For a moment, haven't you thought about "what if he doesnt accept my pregnancy"? Did you told him anything like, "If I'm going to be pregnant, I will keep it". Don't you ever thought that the situation had worth for such question? And if he stopped in that time, then you won't be in such situation.

Also, he was lieing you as you mentioned above with your birthday party. Phone calls etc etc. Did you mind that when it happened? Do you know how many liars like that I had in my life? They werent even girlfriends...Dont you think that you have control over yourself?

Dont get me wrong Cancerlady. I'm not trying to bash you. I'm just trying to figure your psychology out.

"I really think it was an accident on both parts."

Accident? LMAO! We are talking here about human life. Baby's life. How could you stop life of a person, a baby person, just because it was an accident. Does the life of human being is soo small to be considered as an accident. ACCIDENT MY ASS!....

Imagine yourself in the place of that baby. Lets say your parents didn't make an abortion and you survived. You become 18 years old, and in one beautiful day your mother tells you whole story and how "accident" you were. How could you assess yourself from now on? Are you just an accident who merely survived your parents stupidity or an 18 years old adult? That is total personality break down for a person. How could that person respect himself in his future life? How could he rid himself off from the fact that he was just an "accident"? LOL! You people are crazy.

Alright people. I have an idea. Lets play by accidents. Lets eat anything that we find. New food, old food, poison etc. They all are food. Will it kill us? Yes, but who gives a damn about that? We already live by accident. What is the similairt between eating poison and being hit by a car? AN ACCIDENT! LOL!

Another idea. Imagine a couple. Want a child. But they have a problem. A genetical problem. A problem that shows himself in 1 of 4 children they will have. They go to the doctor and ask about the problem. Doctor tells that if they gonna have 4 kids, 1 kid could be ill. But, they are happy! They ask to the doctor: "Mr.Doctor, that is great. We were planning to have 4 kids. But we changed our minds because of your new information. Now we will have 3 kids only! And since the last kid is the one who will be ill one, we will not gonna make it. So we will have 3 normal kids." LMAO!!!

And so on... Do you imagine how life stupid will become?

Mr.Pisces says: "Sorry Mrs.Cancerlady, but I was just walking down on the street when my d**ck went in your p***sy and ACCIDENTALLY made you pregnant". LMAO!!!!

Haffo, you need to chill a little. You're seem to be taking this all a bit personally.

Cancerlady, you are faced with a pretty huge challenge and turning point in your life. I assure you that not all Pisces would leave you in this predicament. Being a fish, I would assume that your P-man will want this child in his life as family is important to most pisces.

Unfortunately it is a Pisces trait to not commit to things unless we are 100% into it and sometimes we tell people what they want to hear rather than the truth in order keep the flow or not hurt someones feelings (lies)until we've made up our mind. This is wrong, I know but in some screwed up kind of way we justify this with our good intentions. Contradictory to my earlier post, I myself have definately been guilty of this in the past but never with anyone I've truly loved or in a way where I've cheated on them. When a pisces man has truly fallen in love it's pretty hard to make him feel trapped and often we are the trapper but unfortunately we tend to like people who are challenging and ultimately bad for us. I think that your pisces man needs to be a man and take responsiblity for what has happened but do you really want to play happy family if you know deep down he isn't happy.

I guess we really are Jerks. We can also be very indecisive, so it may be the case he needs time to make his mind up on what he's going to do about the whole thing. Which is totally unfair to you but some fish can't handle pressure.

You're a bit of a star around these boards Cancerlady. If you're anything like this in real life I'm sure your Baby's gonna be just fine with a mama like you.

Haffo is mad/irritated! :-)

Hi all,

As a pisces myself, I thought I would like to say somethings...

Cancerlady, I always belived that when a baby is formed, its the guy who have to take responsibility. I do not agree with his actions at all, and the choice of abortion or not should lie with you, not him. If you so decide to have him, he should be responsible and discuss with you how he can best support you and your child.

Men are the one with dicks and women are the ones with womb. Its so much easire for men to just throw responsibility aside, which, I feel, should make them all the more aware of responsibilities. I'm with you on this, and I do wish you will turn out fine.

I learn quite abit from this thread, and i must admit i'm guilty of some of the things here.

For me, saying hurtful things are areally a form of defense mechanism for me. It always seems that everyone is cooler and more aloof then me during an arguement, and that really hurts as I will always feel that I seem to care more, hurt more, and she doesnt seem to care. Unwittingly, I will just say things I know will hurt her, just so that i'll not feel so alone.

I know its truely wrong, and i always regret later what i said. I do try to explain things later, but sometimes, it could be too late. Thanks for making me more aware of this, I'll definitely learn to handle arguements better in the future.

As for us lying, I feel that most of the time, we are really just confused. For me, sometimes, things have to be really clear before I feel i'm ready to commit to an answer. If i wnt to know i'm able to give someone 100% , I must know she can give the same. The problem is, few ppl are as forthcoming as us P-ppl when it comes to verbalizing feelings, so most of the time, I'm just really confused. THEN, with a lack of info, i guess we just choose to say the things that we think they want to hear.

That is a reason, not an excuse... I agree that is still lying, but i hope you know why some of us seem to do that.

The reason why I cant ask for info to base my decision on is because i always feel that if I asked for it, it wouldnt be true enough to reflect what she feels. For example, if she says "I love you too" only after I say "I love you", it wouldn be as true as if she jusy surprise me with an "I Love you".

I know we're messed up, and i do hope there are someone out there who can understand us and take us in and protect us... In return, I believe you'll find that we'll return the favour with 10 times the magnitude..

I hope i make sense...

I don't lie to people whom I care and neither I say what they want to hear. This topic is an excellent example of it.

"I still respect your opinion as a person but as far as relationships there is not much you can tell me until you EXPERIENCE one. Now you are only working in THEORY."

That is your personal preference. You can believe what you want. However, I believe you are wrong. Even tought I didn't have relationships with women (at least not to the level of I love you or declaring relationship) I'm still having relationship with people after all. Even this forum is a sort of relationship. Things that we speak and discuss here is an excellent example of relationship. After all, we relate here to each other. We act here in the same way as we act with our relationships. The only difference is that we don't make each other pregnant (LOL).

In a relationship things may be different Haffo. It's a bit hard to comment if you haven't been there but when placed in certain predicaments we sometimes do things we never think we would do. If I was to lie to someone I cared about, it wouldn't be to hurt them but rather to save them from hurt. This can sometimes backfire.

No offence intended Mate

BJ:

" No offence intended Mate"

None was taken.

I'm just not convinced with what you say. On one hand you are righ. We may and will act differently in the real relationship. We have to act differently, because this is law of nature. Nothing can be same. But I dont think that this difference will change the main point of how I perceive people. If I'm with a particular person, then I have a goal. This goal is either I want to be that person and grow or this person is very important for me.

Imagine a river with many branches. Altought the starting and ending point of the branshes are same, they still flow in differen pathways. Also, the fact that every branch flows differently doesn't change the other fact that they end in the same point. Their ending point is their ultimate goal point and it always same. My understanding of relationship is like this river. Every branch is an individual relationship. Their starting and ending points are same!

During my lifetime, I've learned to handle my relationships pretty well. I've also learned the importance of not keeping secrets from my significant one. I am always speaking my needs right away. And if that person simply can't DIGEST the fact that what I actually say is the REALITY I LIVE IN then this is not my problem. Dont make mistake here. I always eager to work on my mistakes. ALWAYS! But, very few people that I come up with im my life weren't eager to work on their mistakes at all. These people usually gave up and ran away pretty fast. Such people doesn't have any worth for my time to waste on them.

Ha ha I just had a strange little connection thingy.Is aquiella and fish man dating?The two of you could get some answers for your questions from each other on the pisces/aquarius relationship.I agree with alot of the others cancerlady he should at least attempt to throw in his half of the effort,otherwise whatever you choose I wish you luck.Have known some pisces guys who played flighty until the kick in the butt of the child being born when they focused on the kid.From then on they were total kids greatest parent types but his history and the way he's acting now;Uh yeah,that would be a cause for concern for me too if I was in the situation.

The reason i feel so much is due to my problems with my aqua girl now...

She had an affair with her collegue, and I'm just so confused about her feelings..

She seems to really care for me whenever I want to leave the relationship, she'll cry, and say that she wants to see me... she will say that she likes him because he does things that reminds her of me..

But when we're together, she doesnt convince me that she made a mistake and show that he's really out of her life... She will be cold sometimes, she'll say she still have abit of feelings for him, and she wants to change a job before fully commited to me as she wants to make sure he's out of his life..

To me, changing a job helps, but it doesn mean anything if her heart is not true. I'm really dissapointed that she have to distance from him physically before she can do that emotionally...

she just gets me so confused! sorry cancerlady, I know its your topic... its ok if no one replies to me 🙂

fray! punch-up! free-for-all! YEAH!

"tada, ta, ta, taaaaa ........ i'm loving it!"

kids, what's: "DANG!" and "LMAO!" —?

oh, sorry! that's to some posts back (aquiella vs. haffo/haffo vs. aquiella)

all good again?

No problems Aquiella. BTW, it seems like you have rocked his world.

If they understand P-Men mentality even once, I afraid there will be no free P-Men for everyone.

Everyone thanks for your input and advice...It was most helpful!

First of all to answer Haffo's reply like two pages ago...You are right when you say it couldn't have been an "accident" but I didn't really mean that LITERALLY, I should have said unplanned but yes I do hold myself responsible for my actions.
I didn't slip on it...I was ridin that puppy all the way until the sunset! LOL

LMAO--> Laughing my A-S-S off By the way...
Dang--> A softer way to say damn

BJ Thank you for seeing that other people just don't understand where you are coming from sometimes and explaining me a little more about the thought processes behind your "lies" Actually Haffo too...with his explanation I see WHY you would say that it "seems" like lies if you don't understand that person. THEY ARE STILL LIES and DECEPTION but I can understand a bit better WHY it is done.

Thanks for thinking I am a

I don't know if you are jerks per se...selfish is a better word because it's always all about how everything makes YOU feel, and if another person gets hurt in the process, oh well...it's not your problem b/c your intentions are good. Like last night he told me that if he doesn't have any good news for me, he won't answer the phone...so screw the fact that I am worried cause I haven't heard from him in a couple of days. He just doesn't want to feel my disappointment so he avoids me so HE doesn't have to feel bad about making me feel bad. Once again, the circle always comes back to HIS feelings. I can kinda understand it though because I do that too sometimes, especially with BILL COLLECTORS! LOL

Cancerlady

I hope you don't have any hard feelings Cancerlady. But, if you do then this is a good time to speak about them.

Haffo are you CRAZY! There are never ay hard feelings against you! You have NOT ever offended me PERSONALLY...that's about the only time I will hold a grudge (that doesn't usually last either!) You helped me TREMENDOUSLY to see things as they TRULY are and not as I would like them to be. Tell it like it is baby!

BJ You had an EXCELLENT point about "do you really want to play happy family if you know deep down he isn't happy" Which is mostly the point of this post.

Last night I had a bit of an epiphany...I was honest with myself. He has been saying the WHOLE time he KNEW I wasn't ready to have a child which is very true. I know it can be DONE, but I have stronger beliefs about how a child should be raised than if a child is born. It was never a religion thing, but I had romanticized the idea of having a child with him even though LIKE him one of the first thoughts I had was we just got something good going and now THIS! I really tried to put the blame on HIM as far as getting an abortion. I wanted him to say it so I wouldn't feel bad about wanting to do it myself and I could blame him. (Beside the natural confusion I felt anyway!)

For that I was wrong.

If I had been honest with myself in the beginning, we wouldn't have gone through any of this. My decision was based 15% on the sacrifice I would be making 85% the welfare of the child. That's why I finally made the decision to terminate my pregnancy. And you know what? At this point I don't regret getting pregnant because I have learned alot about myself & him. I don't know how I will feel after but I pray that I will just be able to move on with my life with no bitter feelings in my heart. Right now all I feel is TOTAL relief that it will all be over in a few days but I feel bad about feeling that way! Strange, I know!

So that's what's up as far as the baby. I talked to it and asked it to forgive me and to come back in a few years when mommy has her life set up a bit better and I honestly think he/she did. As far as everyone else...It's going to be hard to tell my sisters but really in the end, it's between me and my God. Thanks for all the support everyone!

Cancerlady

I finally read through your posts and issues about Mr.P.. and I'm sorry to hear about the whole ordeal. I can imagine the whole thing was emotionally draining- and I know the decisions you have made about the relationship and the baby have not been made lightly.

So, are you gonna kick Mr. P to the curb? I remember at the beginning of this relationship, you had trouble opening up, and trusting him. I'm sorry that when you finally decided to let go, he ended up hurting you in the long run.

I'm glad you were able to work through this on your own- and learn from it..
Best of Luck.

Hey Fish Man...

For example, if she says "I love you too" only after I say "I love you", it wouldn be as true as if she jusy surprise me with an "I Love you".

Well as far as that...Women are conditioned to answer "I love you" rather than to declare their love because usually when they do that men are scared away. So I wouldn't say it was any less sincere. BUT I will say with my Pisces man...when I told him I loved him he really started to open up but the way I said it wasn't in a "loving" way. I said "Do you know what it's like to be in love with someone who doesn't give a damn about you?" I guess that really made him feel like I cared. Worked for me!

As far as your Aqua girl...you need to speak with Aquiella about that! She might be able to tell you what's going on better than me, but MY TWO CENTS IS...

I can see that it may be difficult to understand why she wants to be physically away from him before she fully commits to you BUT the fact that she is being so HONEST about the whole thing, should let you know the sincerity of her feelings for you. It is ENTIRELY possible to love two TOTALLY different people at the same time BUT also know which one will be best for you in the long run. Honestly I personally respect her so much for that mainly because I KNOW what it's like to have to physically be away from a person to help feelings dissipate. From what you said...it doesn't seem like she's playing games and you have to realize for most Aqua's (correct me if I'm wrong) Coldness and being Aloof if THEIR defense mechanism. Hold out and see what's going to happen I say!

Cancerlady

STD

I'm sorry I didn't get to call you last night...It was just too crazy!

I wanted him to do was come with me on Friday morning and give me a ride and a little moral support. I called him 3 times while I was making the appt. but he of course didn't answer. SO I went ahead and made the appt. b/c I want to get this over with ASAP! (tired of being sick also)

So now he can't come because 1rst he said he had his 16 yr old daughter for the next 2 weeks and he can't leave her alone. I said well damn she is 16, can't she handle herself for a few hours? Then he said well I really have to take her somewhere and I won't be in town could you move it back a few days? So I'm like DAMN, so it's MY fault that YOU haven't had your daughter to yourself in like 8yrs so now even though this is my first pregnancy AND abortion you can't sacrifice 4hrs AT MOST starting at 7:30am so I can have a little moral support in this very difficult time?

Last night he came over and it was so funny (in retrospect) because I was SO pissed that he wasn't coming I was ready to kick his a-s-s! So I being really mean and screaming b/c I was in such a rage that he never comes thru when I need him most. Now to let you know a bit about myself I think I am the strongest woman in the world and NOBODY can hold me down. SO when he came in he just grabbed me and was like calm down and I LITERALLY was kicking and screaming with every ounce of energy in me and I COULDN'T MOVE! He picked me up like a sack of potatoes and I swear LOL it pissed me off even more that I underestimated his strength.

You would have been cracking up to see it b/c I looked like a 2yr old having a temper tantrum! But he held me there for a good 10min up in the air. I mean he is a sturdy 6'5" but DAMN it was like iron below that skin! So of course NOW that he knows I am having an abortion and he won't have that responsibility he's all like I really want to be with you and build something...I was like build what? You already made it ABUNDANTLY clear you don't want to raise a family, you don't want to get married, so what you just want to be really good friends with benefits? That's not building something, that's a glorified f-u-c-k buddy. NO THANK YOU!

So as of right now, yes I am kicking him to the curb because it seems like I will never be important enough to come first or even a distant second. On the other hand when we talked last night...he made me realize things about myself that I refused to see because I was always blaming him for it. I guess I SAID I was taking responsibility for my actions but I really wasn't. There were A BUNCH of miscommunications and misunderstandings that I played a part in. I am a bit of a Drama queen.

Honestly STD, I don't know who's at fault more, me or him? Who's to say? I know that I need a certain amount of love and affection and if I ain't getting it, I WILL STRAY! That's a certainty! But I do still love him very much and it felt so good to be held in his arms again and he inspires me to become a better person...So what do I do? I don't know! I'm so confused! (See P-people...you aren't the only ones!)

Why don't you tell me what to do so I can blame you if the outcome is not what I expected! LOL Then I can yell at you!

Cancerlady

cancerlady, thanx for the explanation:

LMAO--> Laughing my A-S-S off
Dang--> A softer way to say damn

you seem to be the only one, who takes me seriously 🙂

i kinda figured "LMAO" out myself, since no one cared to explain, but "Dang" still puzzled me.

Ok Cancerlady,

1. Don't worry about the phone call- at least 164 more days left in the year- plenty of time to make it up to me 😉

2. You said, "I don't know who's at fault more, me or him? Who's to say?"-
I don't think you should look at as an issue of fault. Figuring out who's "fault" things are, won't change what happened and how you feel about it. Moreover- won't change what you want in a relationship. You love him, but can you trust him? You want support, but can he give you the support you need? want? deserve?

The fact that he flip-flops on his position concerning the baby and the relationship is a sign that maybe even HE doesn't know what he wants. You have to decided whether you think it's worth the emotional distress involved with watching him mine things over. In my mind, finding fault is hindsight- and you need to make decisions that will help you move forward with your life (with or without him).

3. You said, "Why don't you tell me what to do so I can blame you if the outcome is not what I expected! LOL Then I can yell at you!" Unfortunately, I know this feeling aLL TOO WELL!! When that relationship isn't working out, it's so easy to want to shake the responsibility off. When I broke up with Mr. Aries- I told people that me made me into a person that I didn't want to be. WRONG for ME! I felt weak, like a push-over.. or a door mat. Well, I was. To some degree, I still am. Took me a long to time recognize that, but once I did I was able to heal.

I don't know, maybe we aren't relating, and I'm just babbling....

Anyway, I think everyone on dxp will agree that relationships are DANG hard.. and I think in order for you to get a really good one working, you have to know yourself. I mean REALLY know yourself!!! So many times I thought I deal with something- or handle something, and in reality I could not. On the other hand, many times I've found strength in places I never knew existed within me. This is the place where you should begin too.

You may love him, but are you really ready for all he is? What he has to bring? To love all that pisses you the EFF off?

And the most difficult step is to learn to be yourself.

so true.

ST😱

Right now I'm doing exactly that thing. Things may get extremly confusing and complex.

STD & Haffo...

You are both right...I mean because honestly I was just as confused about everything as he was, so I can't really say much about the flip-flop. Reading my posts from the beginning to now would lead a person to believe that I was a little flip floppy myself!

I will take some time away from all boys (Ugh, I don't know if possible) and really discover what I want in a relationship and out of myself. At least three weeks, I know!

I don't think I ever changed myself for him though as far as "learning to be yourself" because my personality is so strong that it's hard for me to not be me. I think it's more about learning what I want out of a man and what I am willing to compromise for in a relationship.

CL

My only problem is I am a runner

ANYTIME the going gets tough in a relationship...I bail. So I really don't know what's its like to stick with a person thru thick & thin. I'm trying to stop that, but I don't know how?

Haffo are you saying you are trying to find yourself?

Yes Cancerlady. I'm trying to find myself. Actually being acting unfiltred will speed up that exploring process.

I dunno Cancerlady.. I'm the exact opposite.. I tend to stay and fight, even when all my friends like, "ARE YOU CRAZY, THAT GUY IS AN A**HOLE!!!" My shortest relationship was about 9 months, and it only ended because he was being extremely selfish after the death of my father.... and didn't want to give me the space and time I needed.

In many cases, I was always seeing past the faults. I told myself, that the issue was no big deal, and I found reasons, rationalizations for obvious bad behavior.

but I digress...

Our predicaments aren't that different. How does anyone know the difference between a bad relationship- and a relationship that is just going through bad times?

So far, I've discovered this.. do you still feel respected? Do you still respect him? Do you think, that despite past action- there is still room to grow? Can you work with your partner from a place of understanding-- do you "get" him, does he "get" you? If so, suck it up. You can see past issues as long as there's mutual respect, room for growth, and you can understand his issues to the point where you can put aside your own (and vice versa).

"How does anyone know the difference between a bad relationship- and a relationship that is just going through bad times?"

Good one. I liked that statement. I will write it somewhere.

I know STD is so able to put things in perspective for me. She's GREEEAAAT!

I don't know right now...you have given me alot to think about. I will have to turn it over in my head because LORD KNOWS I haven't been perfect in this whole thing and I've been kinda one-sided in my explanations (as Cancers always remember things emotionally and not logically)

Plus...he is SO CUTE! And that turned me on SO much last night when he was all powerful and strong and made me calm down.

Thanks Cancerlady for bringing up such an interesting topic. In the future I will definately be more aware. It's something I had never given much thought but have learned a heap from this.

Who needs therapy when you've got dxp. Come to think of it, maybe I need therapy because of dxp.

I wish you the best luck with everything.