Blinded by a Taurus! can someone please help me se

I am a sag woman and have had (still has?) a virtual love affair with a taurus much younger guy. This should say it all
but the truth is that we have now been chatting for almost 2 years. I am married and got totally obcessed. He definetly needs attention and care. Same thing with me. We have been friends, lovers, confidents..With time I fell in love with him and really don't know what to do anymore. He has now a girlfriend and he intends to marry her. The age difference makes it all impossible. I met him once. It was a dream. We didn't have sex....just hugs and kisses. He said he felt confused because of his girlfriend. He is very introverted but not with me. I has told me a lot of his dark secrets and we both feel we can trust each other. We developped a strong connection.
I never thought we could have a future together. I just wanted to keep the affair. Our talks were great, including the sex bit.
Of course he says that he wants to keep my friendship (but it seems it will not be more than that, as he is getting more serious about his girlfriend..) But....my poor heart....if I stay and be his friend, it will be painful. If I go......it wil be painful. I have problems to take a decison. My head belongs to him.. when I tell myself he's just using me....I think about his caring sweet side..and I go back to zero.... can someone help me to open my eyes? What should I do?

I am a troll :-)