Help With Understanding Abusive Relationship Aspects

Looking for some general indication of what Dejanira opposite Sun might signify in synastry? I had this with an emotionally/physically abusive ex (I was Dejanira in Aries, he was Sun in Libra) . In his own chart he has Nessus conjunct his Mars (Scorpio) and Pluto, and I had my Nessus conjunct his Mars and Pluto,too. He also had his Nessus and Mars square my Mars, conjunct my Pluto, and opposite my Sun (in Taurus, as well as his Nessus and Pluto opposite my Sun. In my natal, I have Nessus opposite Sun, square Mars in Leo, conjunct Pluto, alongside other stressful aspects that are supposedly indicators of abuse - Sun opposite Pluto, Pluto square Mars, Mars square Sun, Pluto in 5th, Neptune in 7th and Venus sq Neptune.

I almost laugh when I read my own chart now, because it took 6 months after he suddenly broke up with me (Venus sq. Uranus DW, plus we both had it natally) for a veil to literally lift up and allow me to see that this man is insecure, piteous, and had been abusing me - can you say NEPTUNIAN. I hope I haven't just taken a bazooka and shot off random aspects - this relationship felt seemingly blissful until...it suddenly wasn't? How would dejanira opposite Sun in Synastry potentially play out? And what does Nessus opposite Sun in a natal chart potentially play out? Any general theories/experience? The web is rather sparse on oppositions with these 2 asteroids, and I'm trying to heal...thanks in advance!

Wait you said he was physically abusive...
But then said it took you 6 months to realize he was "insecure, piteous, and had been abusing you."

How did you not know?

Hey,Jane84, is there private messaging on this board? I want to respond...but I feel weird doing it openly...if that's okay.