Male friend disappearing Act!

I have a male friend whom I've known for years other the years periodically he has asked me to be with home or asked me if I'm single (ambiguous remarks included ) last week we were talking as usual he calls me everyday almost , and he said I needed to practice with my communications that I'm NOT direct and all the time I say things so I can get an response out of him . I didn't argue I just said okay . Then he complained that he was annoyed because he had a cold and his chest was tight he then said maybe I'll be up to talking tomorrow , I advised him quote " to get rest and call me in a few days " the phone was silent and then he said okay , I didn't hear from him in about a week and when he finally called me back he still was sick and didn't say anything regarding his absence like usually do if it was a day or so...what's going on with him? Btw I'm a Sun Pisces/ venus in Aquarius he is a Sun Cancer venus in gemini

I don't understand why though? Is it something you think I may of did wrong here? If you have any advice for damage control I'm all ears lol

Lol okay I at first thought maybe he felt a way about not communicating well with him , I thought maybe I frustrated him but I'll just let it ride for now

Sounds like he may have been looking for sympathy from you. "I'm sorry you're not feeling well. Is there anything I can do to help? Would you like me to bring over some soup?"...

misslibra: I actually thought that also lol, my cousin said to me ( she was sitting there with me) he didn't expect me to say that , surely I wasn't saying that to be mean. I wanted him to get rest he sounded horrible.

Theprophetprodigy: thanks lol I'm a firm believer that everything will come to light...just going to be patient

Why didn't you contact him, knowing he was sick?

Posted by MissLibra
Sounds like he may have been looking for sympathy from you. "I'm sorry you're not feeling well. Is there anything I can do to help? Would you like me to bring over some soup?"...

Yup or just showed up at his place with stuff to make hot toddies, hot and sour soup from his favorite Chinese place, Emergen-C, Gatorade. Well that's what I do. I'm a dork though so that's just me.

I actually wanted to reach out but it seemed like he had an attitude so I decided to give space , I have this thing that I do when I treat people how I wanted to be treated meaning if I was sick I would want my space to regroup, but that's a gift and a curse! I should have been more sensitive to the fact, we are speaking regularly again , though things do feel a little different at the moment

I wouldn't worry about it or look into it too much. I've been there myself, sometimes people need time or space and distance themselves, it could have everything to do with you... or nothing at all.

In friendships/relationships we are constantly learning about one another, and sometimes we may need time to process or remove ourselves for a bit, but good friends will always find their way back and space must be respected. When a friend of mine distances themselves, I do my best to respect that space, but to also just shoot them a quick text wishing them an awesome day or something. That way, they know that I am thinking of them and am here whenever they are ready. You just have to trust your friendship... which I know, can be hard sometimes.

Posted by CLASSifiedPisces
Then he complained that he was annoyed because he had a cold and his chest was tight he then said maybe I'll be up to talking tomorrow , I advised him quote " to get rest and call me in a few days " the phone was silent and then he said okay

He's a little hurt that you didn't contact him. He doesn't know how you feel about him. Not necessarily a bad way for him to feel, though....

Thanks pathfinder for your insight. We have been talking since almost everyday, unless I'll tell him I'm going to be getting home really late at night, but even last night he called me to make sure I got home safe, so we are good. I told him I learn a valuable lesson, he knows now I meant no harm by my actual actions

According to what you wrote, it appears as though you were only addressing his absence during his down time of being sick.

If this .......

Posted by CLASSifiedPisces

.... he said I needed to practice with my communications that I'm NOT direct and all the time I say things so I can get an response out of him ....

.... hasn't been addressed then it's still a shadow out there hanging around, being ignored.

For you to just say, "okay" .. isn't addressing it, that's ignoring it.

Communication is key, superseding any/all other relationship issues ..... and he's telling you that your communication with him is a little fucked.


And then two people talk, kiss and make up ... ignorant of a consequential potential issue.


And never seem to quite learn that when you do something fucked up ... it was actually you and not the person it's blown off on .... and invariably spend a lifetime in the cycle of rinse and repeat

This is my opinion. I have tendencies to think and act like a guy at times, lol, so maybe I can help.

I believe when he how he was feeling bad and would just call you the following day, you should have empathized and said something like "oh, ok. But be sure to get some rest and I will be waiting to hear from you so I know how you're doing" Instead, you say call in a few days. If that's what he wanted, he would have said that. That's where the ackward pause came from. He was like, wth, uhhh ooookkkk....fine. it kinda hurt and rubbed him the wrong way. If you care, why did he have to wait a few days when he was willing to call back the very next. So he gave you a few days alright, lol. He was really just acting out.

Trust me, everything is ok, but u should be a lil more careful how you word things. Words do hurt regardless what anyone says. You can say the same thing 2 ways and one of those ways could sound hurtful while the other is understandable.

Hope this helps for the future 🙂