Traumatic Scorp on Scorp involvement

I am a scorp female who have been involved with a scorp male almost a year now. He is still married to his wife but separated. He had a lover before we met we foound out about eachother. She for some reason thought they were still in a relationship although they hadn't been intimate since we met. However he clearly kept in contact with her and saw her a couple times but not intimately. So it got ugly and we both were upset with him. Me for him lying when he didn't have to because we were just casual both separated from our spouse for a couple years. My divorce was in process then, final now. He never filed for divorce and still doesn't know if he is going to get one. She thought they were still in a relationship. I know because she and I had a conversation and let eachother know about what was going on.

In the end he had basically told me the truth however I just recently got the proof. He had been lying to her all the time saying we were just friends and he cared for her and didn't allow her to ask about he and I. He cut things off semi with her, not intimacy but still talked to her and probably visited her. Anyway things got deep between us we went on dates, he took me on motorcycle rides, planned trips together, I know everything about his life, family, wife kids etc. None of what he ever shared witht he other woman who she said they had been involved for a year and a half six months ago.

We became very close, he got really possessive, jealous and crazy about me. Started showing up at my house unannounced saying he couldn't take it if I was with someone else. I eventually as of recently changed and decided I wanted a relationship and am tired of the casual thing after 3 years. I am now divorced so I feel I can do that freely. He has been enjoying being single. He really doesn't seem to be the relationship type. Sort of a loner and likes things his way. He said his marriage didn't work because he wasn't ready to be married and just did it because he loved his wife and she had stood by him through some rough times. He said she complained that he was never home and he said he loved her but couldn't be happy being with her etc. He shares everything with me.

I eventually got irritated with the double standard of him enjoying being single and wanting me to himself eventhough I wanted a relationship now. He has mentioned on more than one occasion " I know I am going to wind up getting into a relationship because I can't stand not being with you". I t

told him I don't want him to make any decisions based on me. He should do what he feels. Also he has full custody of one of his children (he has 2 outside of his marriage and one with his wife - he also takes care of her daughter from a previous involvement). He doesn't have much time to do anything. He isn't used to speinding much time with a female since his separation almost 4 years ago. The previous girl only saw him when he got to her they never went on dates or trips or anything. She is blindly (still) in love with him and I can't understand it.

However, after he started being possessive and stalking me we both decided we wanted different things and tried to end our involvement a million times, but we can't seem to let go for good and the last time I let go. He is chasing me and I am so weak for him but have been strong so far. He can't/won't give me what I need. I want a real relationship. His wife wants him back, he doesn't truly want a relationship, he doesn't have the time to spend with me or set in his way of doing things the way he wants. We are just so damned close and I trust him, he is such a relaiable friend and easy to talk to but he can't let me go and he makes it so hard to say gone. When we argue and fight it is bad, but we can never stay angry with eachother no matter what. He isn't the man that would make me the happiest in my future. I know this in my soul. I have no other prospects that I am interested in regardless of their interest in me. I miss him desperately but I know if I don't cut this off I will continue to resent him for not giving me what I need and it will only be my fault. I want to remain friends but he can't separate the two. He thinks I am his eventhough he knows I am not he feels I am and in a wierd way I wish I was. HELP!!!!

dear Queenscorpio, i truly understnd what you are going through, i was in a similar situation with a cancer man!!!i think you already know what is the best thing to do, you deserve to be happy and appreciated, why can't you have a boyfriend that is yours 100% , and commited to you?you know deep down that you will not be happy in the future, i know it is hard but once you take a decision stick to it, try and date other people, i am sure one of them will catch your attention for good, or if not at least long enough to make you realise that you are in the wrong kind of relationship. If he really loved you he would commit, no doubt, and i think this matter hurts more than anything, that you know he doesn't really want a relationship.....you seem so mature and know what you want, but you are not on the same waveland, he is not mature yet, let him go and play and you invest/build in your future, get yourself a man that you can wake up with every day and praise the Lord that you are happy and loved!!!

This guy seems to be everything to everyone which really makes him nothing to no one. Protect yourself and hang out with your single girlfriends or do things where you can meet someone new. There's nothing like a new guy to give you perspective on your present situation.

since you no longer want the casual thing i say cut him off. it was ok when you both were on the same page but now you want something more and he doesn't, he wants to keep playing these games with you, he doesn't want to committ he still just wants to have fun which would be ok if that's what you wanted also, but it's not what you want. this won't work. if you do manage to get him to committ, he'll just try and play you the same way he did that other girl and his wife...and this whole thing about him being possessive and jealous doesn't mean that he's in love with you. your feelings are too involved for this nonsense, he'll only hurt you..i say stick with your plan and cut this loser off...when you have feelings for someone and they touch something deep in your soul, its hard to let go, but you must do it for yourself, for your peace of mind. GOD

may want this door to close so that another one will open...but if you keep looking and focusing on the closed door, you'll never see the beauty that's behind the new door..men are always trying to play with a woman's heart and head, but it's up to us to not let them...Girl be strong and cut that loser off....