What's wrong with me? So fickle!

I'm a gem, Aquarius rising...libra moon. My bf is a Scorpio, aquarius rising, Leo moon. My whole love sector is Cancer, his is Capricorn/Scorpio.

I've been seeing him for 2 months and things have been going good. I've had to put my foot down on some things; he has a short fuse at times, because he was raised Italian catholic he has gender roles and sexist remarks at times...I made it very clear I am NOT that woman. I like to cool a few times every week, but when I get married I won't be doing all the cooking, I won't be doing all the cleaning and I refuse to be a stay at home mom. Both of us are going police, and then federal. My career is top and I will retire at a natural age.
Bickering; I am not a combative person by nature. I hate conflict and rarely fight with my friends. He plays on my pet peeves and brings out my fire and makes me into a bitch at times! He says he only does that with ppl he really cares for...my ex (Leo) and I never fought but then when I had issues they were swept under the rug, never talked out, or never taken seriously and we crumbled.

My bf says he will work on all of these things for me, it's been a lot better and we have been getting along much better. He's very sweet and very passionate.

My issue is I am SO fickle. I really like the guy but I go from thinking maybe I'm not so into him, bored, and he's not right for me....but then I'm thinking of him constantly and really liking him! If he's really sweet on me, sometimes I want to pull back. But when he's aloof, I get needy. I go back and forth and I've always been this way. Can someone help me understand this??

Also; with my Leo ex I apparently threatened to break up with him monthly for about of year just to see him want to pay more attention to me or him to reassure me...I never actually meant it except the end.

That was my longest relationship; 4 years and 3.5 of it mostly distance. During the school year I saw him 1 weekend a month, 3-6 weeks between visits and during breaks (summer etc) 5-6 days a week.

Maybe I'm not used to a relationship like this? I see my bf 4-6x a week...sometimes I feel like it's too much and I need space, yet if he wants to see me I usually give in and get hurt if he can't see me. Whether it's contemplating my feelings for him, me mad, or happy, even if I think I'm losing interest...he's ALWAYS on my mind!

Since my ex, I have purposely cut off relationships after 2 months....I have no idea why, then it's onto the next ASAP. Yet I want lasting.

I go back and forth with really liking my bf and our time, to wonder if I need me time and to be single...but I know the second I was single I would want serious and miss him!

I have insecurities, jealousy, and abandonment issues. Help ~.~

Well we are going to have some space regardless because we have stuff going on the next few days. But I will prob see him weds, thurs for sure. I feel I need to see him at least once before thurs or I may go crazy. If I tell him the space thing, he will totally pull back, and that will stress me out and make me cling.,

His family is in town for 5 weeks, he hasn't seen them in 7 months. And also he's going on a cruise soon for 8 days. That will be a good think time/breather.

So is there any way around this? I know my Gem Sun, Aquarius rising and Libra moon makes me extra fickle...But what can I do to avoid this...will I always be this way?

He's got some turmoil I'm sure too with a water sun, air rising, and fire moon.

You already stated on another thread that you can't stop thinking about an ex boyfriend .... so now here you are putting it all on the current boyfriend, as if to suggest that isn't able to keep you.

But, of course, like I said on the other thread .... here you are taking the cowards way out.

Rut Row....

Posted by tw1nk1e
Find a hobby. There is no man in this world that can prevent you from getting bored, sweetie. It's up to you to make your life interesting.

You have Cancer, Libra, and Gemini all in the same chart, so you are going to be super fickle, I agree. But you can cut your losses and live out the same pattern of moving on when it gets not so "fun" or you can step up and try to find a way to work through the uncomfortableness of it all. If he's not the one, there is no reason to stay with him to do that, but you have to get at the root of your problem.

You say you have issues with abandonment, insecurity, etc. Those are things you have to take care of before you can ever learn to love someone truly. If you keep acting out and behaving out of avoidance and trying to protect yourself, you won't ever get anywhere. You need to work on yourself first and fall in love with you. Then you will always have that security within yourself and you won't be looking for fulfillment in other people.

These are very wise words, thank you. I do like him, especially after our talk last night. I just get scared because maybe I really am not used to having a longterm relationship when I see someone so often...and when I feel myself getting closer (this is the most I've felt since my ex) it scares me too. I went from being extremely annoyed at 1st with him last night, feeling "ugh" to totally head over heels.

I contemplate what it if I were to leave him, yet like with my ex...I don't think I mean it. If he were to break it off with me, I would be crushed.

He says he will never leave me, which I think is an unrealistic claim to make but I get where he's coming from.

Perhaps you are right, a hobby IS needed

The strange thing is, aside from his annoyances, he's perfect romantically. He's everything I want,/wanted, the things I tried to get my ex to do. He's so verbally expressive with me, complementing, affectionate and just adores me...I never got that with my ex and I would have been jumping up for joy if he even said something like that every now and then.

I guess....yes, my ex loved me...but I've never been with someone who expressed their affections THIS strongly for me before...it's exciting/thoughtful, yet terrifying. I don't know what to make of it! Like I said, when things are going really good I expect a shit storm soon and the sweeter/more into me he gets, the more I worry.

Posted by Agentgem24

I keep thinking of my Leo ex from time to time, I have to resist the urge to text, "I miss you."

But will I EVER be able to get Leo off my brain and erase the feelings I still feel?

Here what is wrong with you .... you have feelings for a man other than the Scorpio you claim is your man. On the other thread, you said you weren't going to tell the Scorpio that you had feelings for another man because you didn't want to ruin it with Scorpio .... so, you are choosing to be an emotional cheater and lead the Scorpio on.

As I said in the other thread and will continue to say it so long as you choose to be a coward .... the Scorpio has the right to know the truth about you, and how you feel about another man.

And here you are comparing another man to your supposed boyfriend.


::: shakes head :::

Look, the "feelings" are memories. I don't talk to him, I don't think of him together with me again. I don't want to be with him, it ended for a reason. I'm a cancer in love, I hold onto feelings/memories. For everyone! Not just him, friends too...this is how I am. The "feelings" for him, also linger for my Aries old best friend I ran into the other day after not seeing her for 3 years and my crazy old Aquarius friend. I have these deep feelings/memories for them all that seem so strong at times...but that's it. They are innocent. I'm not into girls like that, yet those feelings I bring up with my ex are the same with these girls, somebody explain THAT to me.

Honestly, I haven't had longer than my ex so I'm comparing good/bad for reference, what went wrong and what went right. I'm using it as material....I wish I could just go with the flow.

I am falling with Scorpio, and I think that's what scares me. I had to resist to say "I love you" the other day during sex...he says he's never been in love but he's feeling something he never has for me. He says he never wants to leave me and he's head over heels for me and can seriously see himself marrying me and I'm all just like "WHOA!" I really like him...REALLY like, but he's also talking so big I'm afraid. Nobody has ever talked to me about this kind of stuff and I'm scared. With my ex, I brought up future plans about marriage etc and he would tell me to focus on the now and stop worrying about future.

Scorpio is constantly on my mind...he's literally everything I think about and it's scary to care so much about one person.

When I have a long history with someone, happy or good, and it ends, I constantly rethink about those times and the people. Whether my ex, family, friends...it's not love. I'm not in love with my grandpa that passed, I'm not in love with my old friend (yet the feelings I am talking about almost FEELS that way) I'm not still in love with my ex...I'm also feeling these feelings for my brother and mom who recently moved. I felt this REALLY bad for my dad I hadn't seen in 3.5 years and I started to cry. I get hit with extremely strong waves of emotion mixed in with memories and nostalgia.

I have these feelings for SAN FRANSISCO! A place...I miss it so much and think of the times, I want to cry. Am I in love with this place? Lol no!

I'm a very emotional and sensitive person. Plus I have synesthesia which makes me extra this way. Don't know what that is? Look it up, should explain things that will begin to make sense about me...especially when reading about the emotional affects.

*happy or bad. I also have fleeting memories of my 1sf ex who died, I'm not still in love with him. It's memories. I have these memories even for a teacher that was very close to me. Sometimes I feel like my thoughts/feelings are so much, I just want to throw myself on the ground and cover my ears because they won't stop assaulting me. Dreams too.never ends.

Not to mention it's impossible to shut my mind off and I have a very addictive personality. I fixate and obsess on many things. Was very evident as a kid. I didn't just have an interest, it was an obsession.

For this reason I have never touched drugs, cigs, or let myself get passed tipsy with alcohol.

I understand totally that is why Im single lol

Lol thanks sag! Aha

Well I was over him before...I am over him now. I was only using it as a comparison because Scorp is the 1st guy I've been able to call "bf" since my Leo ex. I've dated MANY guys after Leo and before Scorp, but none I could call bf. I'm over 1st ex too but if if wasnt for Leo, I would compare it to him instead. As pointers...

Posted by tw1nk1e

Posted by Agentgem24

Posted by tw1nk1e
Find a hobby. There is no man in this world that can prevent you from getting bored, sweetie. It's up to you to make your life interesting.

You have Cancer, Libra, and Gemini all in the same chart, so you are going to be super fickle, I agree. But you can cut your losses and live out the same pattern of moving on when it gets not so "fun" or you can step up and try to find a way to work through the uncomfortableness of it all. If he's not the one, there is no reason to stay with him to do that, but you have to get at the root of your problem.

You say you have issues with abandonment, insecurity, etc. Those are things you have to take care of before you can ever learn to love someone truly. If you keep acting out and behaving out of avoidance and trying to protect yourself, you won't ever get anywhere. You need to work on yourself first and fall in love with you. Then you will always have that security within yourself and you won't be looking for fulfillment in other people.

These are very wise words, thank you. I do like him, especially after our talk last night. I just get scared because maybe I really am not used to having a longterm relationship when I see someone so often...and when I feel myself getting closer (this is the most I've felt since my ex) it scares me too. I went from being extremely annoyed at 1st with him last night, feeling "ugh" to totally head over heels.

I contemplate what it if I were to leave him, yet like with my ex...I don't think I mean it. If he were to break it off with me, I would be crushed.

He says he will never leave me, which I think is an unrealistic claim to make but I get where he's coming from.

Perhaps you are right, a hobby IS needed

If you feel like you are unlovable, you will never trust someone that says they love you. And then you will make the situation happen because you will push him away.

click to expand

that is so true. I'm such a loner w relationships because of that

I just need to get over my doubt and paranoia...bring down my walls.

Posted by Agentgem24
Well I was over him before...I am over him now. I was only using it as a comparison because Scorp is the 1st guy I've been able to call "bf" since my Leo ex. I've dated MANY guys after Leo and before Scorp, but none I could call bf. I'm over 1st ex too but if if wasnt for Leo, I would compare it to him instead. As pointers...

i miss my ex scorpio my 1st one a lot sometimes. he was like my first real boyfriend ever. he reminded me of my mom lol we both had cancer risings he

would take care of me and i loved it but it was really unhealthy cause he was like more of my mom than my boyfriend. i have that bad wanting to be taken care of cause i wasn't syndrome. like i want a parent more than a relationship. its fucked up.

*sigh* work in progress i guess

Posted by SugarAries
libra moon=indecisive.

Case closed.

Ftw

Posted by feby16aqua
Be careful not to make a self fulfilling prophecy for yourself.

Imo, too late. The wheels r already turning. Her blog history shows it.

The libra moon is strong with this one.

Posted by P-Angel

Posted by Agentgem24

I keep thinking of my Leo ex from time to time, I have to resist the urge to text, "I miss you."

But will I EVER be able to get Leo off my brain and erase the feelings I still feel?

Here what is wrong with you .... you have feelings for a man other than the Scorpio you claim is your man. On the other thread, you said you weren't going to tell the Scorpio that you had feelings for another man because you didn't want to ruin it with Scorpio .... so, you are choosing to be an emotional cheater and lead the Scorpio on.

As I said in the other thread and will continue to say it so long as you choose to be a coward .... the Scorpio has the right to know the truth about you, and how you feel about another man.

And here you are comparing another man to your supposed boyfriend.


::: shakes head :::

click to expand

Scorpio in question knows something is up

Feelings of nostalgia...not for him personally. We don't talk, I don't want to get back together. Like I said, I have these feelings for tons of friends, my dad, former places I lived...The SAME. It's just all I have to go on, the longest, so I compare and remember what worked and what didn't.

He knows all of my feelings, I've told him. I told him how I go back and fourth too but the fact that he is ALWAYS on my mind no matter what means I care and I am falling.

And the more I see him lately, the better I feel. I just need to let my guard down and trust him; if I can't open myself to love then I suppose it will never happen again. He's proved multiple times, every time I see him even, that he's in it for the long haul and wants to be with me.

Says things like "if you got pregnant, I wouldn't leave you...we would raise the kid" "If you got sick, I wouldn't leave you" "I want to be by your side 6 years from now...it's too soon to say it now, but I could see myself married to you/someone with your same qualities" "I never will leave you...if you feel like your are falling in love with me, tell me...you don't have to worry about waiting for me to say it 1st..I likely feel the same"

Etc etc

Can't for get about the double cancer in venus/mars too! Lol