When an Ex Says Happy Birthday

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Aquarius09
@aquarius09
14 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 679 · Posts: 11846 · Topics: 2
I’ve never had an ex who I parted on a bad note with wish me HBD. They know they going to get their dignity stripped. They know me so well ☺️

The ones I parted on good terms with seem to think time has stopped. LoL. I just say one word of “thanks” or not respond to them at all because I don’t want to give them false hope that we can communicate again. Not interested in my past. Always looking on the horizon for new things/people. Not nostalgic either.
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Soul
@Soul
11 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 2339 · Posts: 17034 · Topics: 110
I try to stay pretty mutual with my exs. Not as intense as a cult following or anything, but rather I want it be neutral or even good blood over bad. My relationships are always intense with women much like myself. They always end just as they started too, with a firy explosion. Because of that I try to be as kind as possible to my exs, after the breakup calms down at least. Mostly because I'm paranoid and never know if one of them will actually try to end me. So I try to give them space, and a tiny bit of attention when they ask me for it with no romance attached just to keep them at ease. Calling my past relationships toxic and somewhat drug like is an understatement. So I'd reply "Thanks!" With a smiley emoj, or heart if they put a heart at the end. If they said they wanted to hang out I'd act like I felt the same, then say nothing after that and make sure my schedule was full making it impossible for that to happen. Women I've been with know I'm busy, so don't take offense to that type of ghosting. Unless they are here spying on me. Which if that's the case I'm fucked I guess. Or maybe I'm just super controlling and don't let people leave my life. I don't go out of my way to lure them back to me though. They always randomly come back to me. Idk what type of control that is.

Leo sun

Scorpio moon

Cancer Venus
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ladylibra21
@ladylibra21
10 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 9 · Posts: 3024 · Topics: 377
Thanks for your responses guys! This person is not really an ex just an old friend who knows I like him. He started acting really distant after I told him that. But to be fair I came in out of the blue to tell him I had looked for him all summer when I visited my hometown, but I didn’t have his number and he was taking a social media break for a year . I ending up finding his email after I left and emailing him and messaging him. He was really cool about it but I did confess I always wish we would have been closer years ago so I didn’t say input right liked him but he’s not stupid.

Then communication got spotty so I assumed he was trying to be nice but didn’t really wanna engage, but I also sensed he was also going through a lot at that time so I gave it space.

But space ended up being a couple of months but his birthday is coming up in April (he’s a Taurus with Aqua Moon, Gemini Mars) and I have told him happy birthday every year since 2011. And I wanted to say happy birthday but I don’t want to disturb his peace or for him to feel some type away because I haven’t reached out but honestly it takes both people to reach out and he never did so I assume he didn’t wanna be bothered.

So I’m guessing you’re wondering now why I would want to reach out and say happy birthday. And honestly it’s because I care I’m not expecting anything from it or his friendship, he is just been in my heart and has been and I just wanted to acknowledge him. But I didn’t wanna do it if there would be a negative reaction.
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ladylibra21
@ladylibra21
10 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 9 · Posts: 3024 · Topics: 377
Posted by _elle_
Posted by ladylibra21

Thanks for your responses guys! This person is not really an ex just an old friend who knows I like him. He started acting really distant after I told him that. But to be fair I came in out of the blue to tell him I had looked for him all summer when I visited my hometown, but I didn’t have his number and he was taking a social media break for a year . I ending up finding his email after I left and emailing him and messaging him. He was really cool about it but I did confess I always wish we would have been closer years ago so I didn’t say input right liked him but he’s not stupid.

Then communication got spotty so I assumed he was trying to be nice but didn’t really wanna engage, but I also sensed he was also going through a lot at that time so I gave it space.

But space ended up being a couple of months but his birthday is coming up in April (he’s a Taurus with Aqua Moon, Gemini Mars) and I have told him happy birthday every year since 2011. And I wanted to say happy birthday but I don’t want to disturb his peace or for him to feel some type away because I haven’t reached out but honestly it takes both people to reach out and he never did so I assume he didn’t wanna be bothered.

So I’m guessing you’re wondering now why I would want to reach out and say happy birthday. And honestly it’s because I care I’m not expecting anything from it or his friendship, he is just been in my heart and has been and I just wanted to acknowledge him. But I didn’t wanna do it if there would be a negative reaction.

I would say go for it.

If more people did what they felt like doing without all this analysis and worry about other people's perception of that, the world would be less confusing. lol
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Yes I’ve been trying to do that more it’s just harder to do with him for some reason. I’d like to get to the point where what he thinks doesn’t matter to me.

I over think a lot I have a 3rd house stellium in Libra with personal planets and 5th house stellium in Capricorn. So I over think in general and put restrictions on my fun and risk taking in love. Trying to break these things though by forcing myself but I often get stuck thinking I’m going to impact someone else negatively.
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Undine
@Undine
13 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 1553 · Posts: 8895 · Topics: 11
Posted by ladylibra21
Posted by _elle_
Posted by ladylibra21

Thanks for your responses guys! This person is not really an ex just an old friend who knows I like him. He started acting really distant after I told him that. But to be fair I came in out of the blue to tell him I had looked for him all summer when I visited my hometown, but I didn’t have his number and he was taking a social media break for a year . I ending up finding his email after I left and emailing him and messaging him. He was really cool about it but I did confess I always wish we would have been closer years ago so I didn’t say input right liked him but he’s not stupid.

Then communication got spotty so I assumed he was trying to be nice but didn’t really wanna engage, but I also sensed he was also going through a lot at that time so I gave it space.

But space ended up being a couple of months but his birthday is coming up in April (he’s a Taurus with Aqua Moon, Gemini Mars) and I have told him happy birthday every year since 2011. And I wanted to say happy birthday but I don’t want to disturb his peace or for him to feel some type away because I haven’t reached out but honestly it takes both people to reach out and he never did so I assume he didn’t wanna be bothered.

So I’m guessing you’re wondering now why I would want to reach out and say happy birthday. And honestly it’s because I care I’m not expecting anything from it or his friendship, he is just been in my heart and has been and I just wanted to acknowledge him. But I didn’t wanna do it if there would be a negative reaction.

I would say go for it.

If more people did what they felt like doing without all this analysis and worry about other people's perception of that, the world would be less confusing. lol

Yes I’ve been trying to do that more it’s just harder to do with him for some reason. I’d like to get to the point where what he thinks doesn’t matter to me.

I over think a lot I have a 3rd house stellium in Libra with personal planets and 5th house stellium in Capricorn. So I over think in general and put restrictions on my fun and risk taking in love. Trying to break these things though by forcing myself but I often get stuck thinking I’m going to impact someone else negatively.
click to expand



I don't think that anyone has been impacted negatively by birthday wishes, lol. In fact, he might be crying into his pillow just now, thinking that nobody cares about him!

As long as he didn't ask you to stop, and you don't care how you come across, you could send him as many seasonal wishes as you like!