Acceptance

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beautifulsoul74
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This topic may have been covered previously, but what the heck, let's just rehash it anyway. I've heard a lot of talk lately about acceptance in relationships. Specifically, romantic relationships. What is the acceptance of another person? For me, my acceptance level for another person is admittedly high, but it coincides with my understanding of love. When I say that I've accepted you as a person, it means that I've embraced you completely. But this acceptance is conditional. While I'm considerably patient with people and give them the benefit of the doubt, there comes a tipping point. This is true with everyone. Simply put, Im not going to allow you to continually mistreat me. I guess, my real question is if you say you've accepted someone for who they are, why are so many good relationships destroyed because of the desire to have better? Simply trying to find answers.
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beautifulsoul74
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Posted by P-Angel
Aren't you the person who made that thread about unconditional love?


Now you speak out of the other side of your tongue and say that to accept a person totally comes with conditions.



Hypocrite much?



You who believes in nothing talks if hypocrisy. Let me break it down for you since you want to twist my words to fit you own self serving narcissism. Unconditional love not only involves loving others but self. When you love yourself unconditionally, you will not ACCEPT mistreatment. You can accept someone in your life for who they are but not be around them because of how they treat you. If you spend time wallowing in melancholy and misery only to try to inflict it upon others with your obtuse musings, you get that simple concept.
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beautifulsoul74
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Posted by P-Angel
Posted by beautifulsoul74

... my acceptance level for another person is admittedly high, but it coincides with my understanding of love. When I say that I've accepted you as a person, it means that I've embraced you completely. But this acceptance is conditional.



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Let me rephrase...I accept you as a person, but whether you're in my life is determined by your behavior as I said before.
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P-Angel
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Again ... you are the one who made the thread about unconditional love, and when I told you that it didn't exist because people, all people, have certain conditions in which they believe they should be treated, and these conditions are put in place for others in whom they interact with are suppose to adhere to ..... you argued with me, proclaiming I was wrong.


Now, you're here saying the complete opposite, and when I point this discreptancy out, you assume to know about my personal feelings in life.



wow ... really, wow



But, at least we can all now see that you're a hypocrite, so there's a bright side .... may your forked tongue be blissfully happy in your ignorance. 🙂
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beautifulsoul74
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Posted by everevolvingepithet
I guess, my real question is if you say you've accepted someone for who they are, why are so many good relationships destroyed because of the desire to have better? Simply trying to find answers.



Maybe it's not the acceptance part and more actions like egotism, idiocy, 'grass is greener', laziness (in times of low acceptance), etc on the part of the one doing the destroying?
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Thats it. To me it's a simple concept. When I date someone, I've looks at their behavior, faults , attributes, etc and decided that it's something that I can live with. I think some mistake acceptance with blind agreement. While everyone has their quirks, nuances, etc I personally don't complain or even mention those things. But, the problem arrives when the other perform doesn't take the same approach. The crazy thing is when it happens early in the relationship.

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RoseTheTaurus
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Posted by beautifulsoul74
Im not going to allow you to continually mistreat me. I guess, my real question is if you say you've accepted someone for who they are, why are so many good relationships destroyed because of the desire to have better? Simply trying to find answers.



How is this a good relationship, if there is mistreatment? A "good relationship" wasn't destroy, but the displaced ideals were.
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beautifulsoul74
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If you recall, I also said that unconditional love involves loving yourself unconditionally. If you decide to leave an abusive husband, it doesn't mean you don't love him, it means you have enough self respect and dignity not to ACCEPT his BEHAVIOR. Thus you are simultaneously accepting the fact he is who he is but you unconditional love for self makes you leave him because of abusive behavior.

Like I've said before, you can take a dogmatic approach to life and only accept pain and sadness. You can hurl insults all you want. All you prove is than in the end you truly know nothing.
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beautifulsoul74
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Posted by RoseTheTaurus
Posted by beautifulsoul74
Im not going to allow you to continually mistreat me. I guess, my real question is if you say you've accepted someone for who they are, why are so many good relationships destroyed because of the desire to have better? Simply trying to find answers.



How is this a good relationship, if there is mistreatment? A "good relationship" wasn't destroy, but the displaced ideals were.
click to expand





that's true. Let me clarify. I meant that a good relationship that ends because of trivial things.
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Posted by capgirl75
Posted by beautifulsoul74


When I date someone, I've looks at their behavior, faults , attributes, etc and decided that it's something that I can live with. I think some mistake acceptance with blind agreement. While everyone has their quirks, nuances, etc I personally don't complain or even mention those things. But, the problem arrives when the other perform doesn't take the same approach. The crazy thing is when it happens early in the relationship.



Okay, so the process of dating involves getting to know someone. When you date someone, you are learning whether or not you will ultimately accept them. While dating, one cannot automatically accept a person because you do not know enough about them. As time goes on, you will discover if you can accept the person's flaws or not. You cannot possibly know up front all the person's flaws, faults, quirks and attributes.

Of course, dating relationships are conditional. That is the very definition of dating. Early in the relationship is usually when people decide whether they want to accept or reject you. Most people will think before they get involved with a person.

In my experience, it takes 3-6 months at the very least for a person to show you who they are. Most people let their guard down slowly, they hide their faults or anything that they think you may not accept.

If you have complete acceptance of a person, then you marry them. As you go through life together, your relationship should grow and move toward unconditional love/acceptance. It takes many years to reach that point, and it rarely is experienced by people. So I would call unconditional love/acceptance the ideal, and the point that people are striving for in a relationship.

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Great point
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beautifulsoul74
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Posted by everevolvingepithet
Posted by beautifulsoul74
Posted by everevolvingepithet
I guess, my real question is if you say you've accepted someone for who they are, why are so many good relationships destroyed because of the desire to have better? Simply trying to find answers.



Maybe it's not the acceptance part and more actions like egotism, idiocy, 'grass is greener', laziness (in times of low acceptance), etc on the part of the one doing the destroying?

Thats it. To me it's a simple concept. When I date someone, I've looks at their behavior, faults , attributes, etc and decided that it's something that I can live with. I think some mistake acceptance with blind agreement. While everyone has their quirks, nuances, etc I personally don't complain or even mention those things. But, the problem arrives when the other perform doesn't take the same approach. The crazy thing is when it happens early in the relationship.


I agree if the difference put a person at cross purposes, otherwise they're known as nice little quirks lol.
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Lol