Why Does it STILL Hurt?

Penetration. It sucks. It hurts. And it's discouraging to actually keep trying. And if I haven't had sex for a while, it hurts like I'm a virgin all over again.

My sex partner likes it. He likes the "tightness." He's got nothing to worry about. It's all good on his side.
His benefit, not mine. He is gentle though. Takes his time with me. Stops if he notices I'm not enjoying it. He really tries!

I've read that girls my age don't have it easy with sex. I'm 20 by the way. I have a friend who's 22 and has similar problems too. She finally experienced an orgasm recently! It's great news.

What can help? Does anyone else here have or had the same kind of problems?

If it matters, I'm a Sagittarius and my sex partner is either a Virgo Or a Libra.
His birthday is September 23 and I've come across chats that claim he's a Libra.

Have you tried any personal lubricants? Astroglide or K-Y?? Brand Warming?? Jelly, you could probably get some free samples if you go to their website and sign up.

I've tried lubrication this last time, but didn't feel much of a difference. Would it matter if it were water or oil based?

That is a good idea though, I'm going to look into that. Thanks!

Are you trying to get things going too soon? Sometimes your lady bits and your brain just do not coincide at all and while your brain is "WOO READY TO GO!!" your lady bits are being typical woman- "I'M NOT READY. EFF YOU!!"

You might want to try a bit more foreplay and lube does help.

This happening after not having sex for awhile- not surprising.

Question is, how often are you and your current partner having sex? If it's been awhile for you and you two just started having sex, give it a few. Things will catch up and you should be okay after awhile. I had the same problem awhile back and the combination of a drought + starting again = uncooperative lady bits.

You have to keep in mind it's a lot of muscle down there and things tighten up over time, hence the "virgin" feeling all over again. If you have sex regularly, those muscles will "stretch" out a bit more and make it a bit easier on you.

Also, remember to breathe. A lot of women catch themselves holding their breaths and it doesn't help either.

Thanks rockyroadicecream, I never knew that about the vagina. It makes more sense. And more foreplay would help.

I remember from past experience, that after making sex a routine and stretching out, though the pain would go away I wouldn't feel any pleasure.

I've read that some women can't feel pleasure, ever. But I know I'm not one of them because I've felt pleasure during penetration and oral in the past. Once for each. I didn't do anything special back then, when it actually did happen, so... Could there be a reason why I don't feel pleasure?

Have you an emotional connection with the man? When I was younger I felt nothing until I finally met a man I had a true emotional connection with and then the sky was the limit, thank god 🙂 Also google the CAT position, its a very basic position with movements designed to make you feel a lot of pleasure and result in orgasm from intercourse, its extremely effective and once you are in the "habit" you can pretty much feel huge pleasure and orgasm from any position.

lol

Ohh awesome. Thanks. And no, there's no emotion connection. Maybe it's because I'm so young and really don't want to be emotionally involved. I never quit understood why it would help, but I'm sure I will one day. So, cat position right?

Posted by Dianasart

I've always had problems with men, starting with my father who introduced me to the sexual side of the world, and my older brother, who forced trauma into my soul and beat me countless times.
Trusting was never a usual thing for me. Believing someone that says he would never hurt me.. might as well have stabbed my own heart before someone else got to it.

You wrote that ^^^^^^^^^^^ two years ago.

Have you dealt with that demon yet?

Your problem isn't your vagina ... it's emotional scars

Posted by P-Angel
You wrote that ^^^^^^^^^^^ two years ago.

Have you dealt with that demon yet?

Your problem isn't your vagina ... it's emotional scars

You really dig deep, don't you?

Yea, I've dealt with it.
My past will never change. Two years ago, I was still in deep depression. I stopped taking anti-depressants during the Fall of 2010 and found better ways to deal with what I can't forget. It was very difficult, but I've had a lot of support in the past two years. More than I've had in my entire life. Sure, two years isn't enough to deal with 18 years of issues, but my head's in a better place and so am I emotionally. :-)

Im glad you didnt respond negative btw I like the avatar what is it? On topic I think you outta talk to a doctor.

Yes, more emotional healing to be done.

It could be a medical problem - see your GYN.

Posted by truecap
It could be a medical problem - see your GYN.

+1

There's actually a disorder where your vagina closes up which could be due to your past, even if it's subconsciously doing it.

Could also be partially your ethnicity

Agreed about the "emotional connection" bit. Example- FWB sex, in my experience? Not as good as relationship sex. It wasn't bad per se, but relationship sex was a lot better.

maybe you're lesbian?

maybe you have an inverted cervix. doggy style can cure many things...headaches included.

maybe you're faking. you showed this thread to your bf didnt you? he was questioning the size of his wee and you wrote this to make him feel better.

Yip different posistions might work whatever the angle is to make anal easier try that one.

-.-

O-O