Motherly women = Strong women??

Men tell me I'm "motherly".
I do enjoy taking care of people but I've never thought of myself as motherly. I actually don't like being called that. I don't mind offering you comfort and doing things for you but don't start relying on me for everything like I'm your mom.
I'm a strong-willed, independant woman who takes care of responsibilities. I take initiative and do what needs to be done. Is that why men think I'm motherly?

Do men naturally associate strong women with their mothers?
Is being considered motherly a good thing or bad thing?

Do men naturally associate strong women with their mothers?
Is being considered motherly a good thing or bad thing?

Not necessarily. In my case I associate weaker women with my mother, so I don't think one naturally makes that association.

As for whether it's considered a good thing, I think it will vary from man to man. Some men need stronger women to guide them, others have a stronger need to assert themselves. Others are a mix/mid point between those two.

Independent and responsible? +1,000,000 !!!

I've always associated the term "motherly" with being natural at providing comfort and care. I don't however, associate it with being responsible for or making decisions for another adult. So for me, being motherly and being a strong, independent woman - can - but don't necessarily go hand-in-hand.

if you're TOO motherly then you start attracting men who wanna be babied all the time so that's not good lol
i know a couple of women who constantly feel shortchanged in relationships with men because they do way too much shiit for them.

when it comes down to who takes care of who in relationships, i think women should go by the 80/20 rule pareto's law lol
give 20% , get back 80% from him.
in other words, do 20% of the nurturing and the man will do 80% of the nurturing for you in return.
dont get me wrong i love a strong, independent woman but don't be afraid to rely on men. we like it when women rely on us. it gives us a strong sense of purpose and something to strive for!! 🙂

Posted by Jesse91
if you're TOO motherly then you start attracting men who wanna be babied all the time so that's not good lol
i know a couple of women who constantly feel shortchanged in relationships with men because they do way too much shiit for them.

when it comes down to who takes care of who in relationships, i think women should go by the 80/20 rule pareto's law lol
give 20% , get back 80% from him.
in other words, do 20% of the nurturing and the man will do 80% of the nurturing for you in return.
dont get me wrong i love a strong, independent woman but don't be afraid to rely on men. we like it when women rely on us. it gives us a strong sense of purpose and something to strive for!! 🙂

That's actually all I seem to attract. Men who expect to be babied! And these men aren't even my boyfriends. Just friends and acquaintances. I'm really liking that 80/20 rule. I want to be nurtured for a change. 😢

thx for the replies everyone.

Barbie, have you ever considered dating older men? And by older I don't mean 3-5 years older but more like 10-15 years older. Because honey at your age, trying to find a nurturing young man would be fairly similar to looking for a needle in a haystack. They simply don't possess the maturity level required to be nurturing in the ways that us women want them to be. I'm sure a beautiful girl like you would be able to find an accomplished, mature, sophisticated older man in a heart beat. 🙂

Posted by GreekBarbie

Men tell me I'm "motherly".

I do enjoy taking care of people

...... but I've never thought of myself as motherly.

I don't mind offering you comfort and doing things for you

...... but don't start relying on me for everything like I'm your mom.

You admit that you offer comfort and do things for the "men"

I wouldn't mind dating an older man. Preferably someone who's not yet looking to find a wife and settle down. He doesn't have to be successful or accomplished. Just someone who's passionate about what they do for a living and a really good listener. I'm usually the one listening to everyone else's problems and concerns but I don't really have anyone I can express my own fears and doubts to. I kind of hold everything in. (I blame my Cap moon)
I actually like someone right now who's around my age but he's kind of in a complicated situation and I don't know when it'll all be sorted out.

I know my words and actions are contradicting

You seem lonely 😢

What kind of situation?

Posted by GreekBarbie

I actually like someone right now who's around my age but he's kind of in a complicated situation and I don't know when it'll all be sorted out.

Complicated as in ...... he isn't single?

Posted by GreekBarbie

I know my words and actions are contradicting

Do you also know that how those men view you is in accordance with how you act?

meaning .. if they see you as motherly, then it means you are acting like their mother.

So, your words aren't as contridicting as they are ignorant .. ignorant in the aspect that you've no clue why these men tell you they think you are motherly.

Perhaps, rather than pondering why these men see you as motherly ..... instead you should be focusing on self awareness

Yes, I see what you're saying P-Angel.

Posted by CherryOnTop
You seem lonely 😢

I'm fine.

Posted by CherryOnTop
What kind of situation?

I don't really want to talk about it in great detail but thank you for your concern.

Posted by Layna
Just thought of another thing.

You can also try looking for guys who are of certain cultural heritage that are known to have an emphasis on independence. German and Russian are ones that come to mind. It'll be a double-edged sword, though... 'cause they won't rely on you much, but, they might not know to be there when you need them.

They kinda have to be there when I need them lol I don't want a man that's too fiercely independent...I want to feel somewhat needed...I'm a typical Cancer so I need that emotional security.

Thanks for your advice though, Layna. 25 seems like a good mature age.

Posted by Layna
Just thought of another thing.

You can also try looking for guys who are of certain cultural heritage that are known to have an emphasis on independence. German and Russian are ones that come to mind. It'll be a double-edged sword, though... 'cause they won't rely on you much, but, they might not know to be there when you need them.

German ones? Yeah right. It really has nothing to do with the country or culture,
Mamas boys are everywhere.
xD