Aries man told me to get out of his life !

Ya know, if you had kicked me in the balls I would be saying stay the hell away from me to. Sort of a real "Deal Breaker."*snicker*

Sounds like you do all the emotional nurturing, healing, and fixing .... if I can sense this, then surely he can.

He only has to sit back and wait for you to take all the blame.

Why should he do anything —


You obviously want to find out how to make a losing relationship work ... that makes you the bazillionith woman to want the same thing.


My only hope is that one day, all of you desire to recognize a successful partnership ... so you all will stop ruining your love by chasing an end.

Posted by rubystar

.... but what I did is actually I kicked him in the BAlls by accident... i thoguht I was gonna kick him in his leg not the balls.

.... I was trying to tell him how sorry I am... ( but really he pushed me to do that ...

He pushed you into accidently kicking him in the nuts?

I'm sure you would have made your point quite clear if he had gotten that kick in the leg, as you intended .... for to kick there is making the ultimate statement to leave a woman alone.

You probably wouldn't even have had to make this post if you had been able to kick your mark.

Honey, this is a classic case of emotional/verbal abuse. Don't expect this man to change any time soon. He has anger/temper problems & there is nothing you can do to change that right now. Abusive men always make the women they're dating feel like they're damned if they do & damned if they don't

The communication dynamic in your relationship is all screwed up. You 2 shouldn't even be conversating about committment until you BOTh learn how to talk to eachother with some dignity & respect.

It doesn't matter how mad you may make him, there's no excuse for his controlling behavior & stinging words. It'd be different if you were doing horribly crazy things like cheating on him, setting his house on fire or F'ing his brother...maybe I'd understand more why he flips out so much, BUt from what you've shared, his anger towards you is NOT proportionate to what you guys are actually fighting about. He's always more mad than necessary.

It's honorable that you are a peacemaker, BUT being that way will only be rewarding to you & your relationship if the BOTH of you have the ability to do so. Sounds like he only feels like "Getting along" once he realizes he's about to lose you. And in that case, his peacemaking skills aren't coming from the heart. It's coming from a place of manipulation. Huge difference!

I don't know why you're still holding on after all that you've shared. It's barely 6 months into the new year. You guys should still be in the "honeymoon" stages, NOT fighting & carrying on like a married couple whose 5 seconds from divorcing after 35 years!

Move on! This relationships is causing you more pain than happiness, which oughta serve as proof to the BOTH of you that it's no longer worth it. Atleast not right now

It sounds like he's used to you taking the blame and saying sorry so why wouldn't he do it now...you're expecting him to suddenly not expect an apology? It sounds like you've conditioned him to expect your "sorries".

I kinda wanna take a guess and say cancer...but I'm prob wrong

I am capricorn guys🙂

Hope you didn't respond haha

what is his birthday, place and time?

sounds like venus in aries, mars or mercury in aries...and Mars in the 7th

yep here is his chart

Sun Aries
Moon Sagittarius
Mercury Pisces
Venus Aries
Mars Aries

Venus in aries (especially the men) fall in and out of love quickly! There love style is very impulsive and controlling. Venus in aries is like a contradiction. Aries is ruled by Mars the god of War and venus is about love. meaning, he will make war to make love. break up to makes ups is the name of the game. when you meet a venus in aries, it is not unusual that he will want a relationship from day one. venus in aries loves to control the speed of the relationship. even you yourself said u were a bit surprised with him taking things so quickly. to feel those loving feelings, they will cause fights and arguments that are irrational. temper tantrums, etc and the fights caqn occur like every day!

venus in aries is also high maintenance demanding lost of attention. sometimes they like space and then they will conveniently pick a fight claiming that you dont spend enough time with them.

they also dont like to be told no!

venus in aries also loves a challenge. someone playing hard go get. so the longer you hold out the more he probably likes you.

mars in aries is even more impulsive. they are prone to quick flareups and can say alot of hurtful things that most liekly arent true. but the things that they can say are pretty far out and kinda malice and disgusting.

they want you to change because they arent. aries is about leading and control bo when you put that in a relationship, whoa buddy. since you are a capricorn, you may find this person very draining and needy.

venus in aries is a very truthful and honest sign.

they can also act like a big kid when they dont get their way. very bratty. and wanting you to apologize.

they think their in love, but there really in crush...

even though venus and mars in aries are honest signs....mercury in pisces aint!

usually mercury in pisces can tone down an aries sun person but a person with a mars and venus in aries is hard to tone down...alot of fire.


i dated a pisces sun with a mars, mercury and venus in aries. i got sick of the temper tantrums and martyr behavior. draining. we fought almost every day.

Posted by rubystar
DMW.. can you tell me bout me too...

i am 11/01/1980
i am interested to know.. i never know how to look these things up.

if its not much trouble.

thank you

are you a cappy or a scorpio?

Posted by rubystar
wow DMV- thats great help... he did tell me.. how he moves on ezy once he brakes up... i kind of felt really funny bout that because i thoguht... well how much did you love a person if you can just move on liek that. hm...
in the end... whatever will be will be... and if he can move on just like that- well i am glad i am not spending my life with someone that really doesnt know how to love a person.

yes! i felt the same. my pisces ex moved on within a month? for real dude?? thats why i say they fall in crush and not love.

venus in aries love is like a tornado. you get swept up. theyre also hard to break up with. you may just have to change your number or possibly get a restraining order for the tougher ones.

venus in aries is also very convincing!!!! he will charm the pants off you and fight with you all in the same day.

Posted by rubystar
cappy 🙂

11/1/1980 would make you a scorpio sun and not a cappy. do you have the right birthday lol


the only thing you did wrong in your relationship, is that you didnt follow his lead. and you were probably not as direct as you could have been. aries liked to be adorned and you werent doing that.

then again, venus in aries would cause in fight even in the good times

Posted by rubystar
haha Dmv your are so spot on... unbelivable...thats exactly how it is...
its hard.. to the point that they know it.. he even told me the other day.... why is it so hard to be without me? .. I was like... what a jerk pffftt
but i just said to him... why would you say that. ha

remember his mercury is in pisces, so his communication style maybe a bit skewed toward being delusional. no offense to the fishies, but you live in an alternate reality sometimes.

he will also sulk and act like a martyr. probably even talks shit about you to his friends. venus and mars in aries cant keep shit to themselves. will paint you in a bad light to his friends. your first impression is usually a wasted effort with these guys.

Posted by rubystar
ah come on... my DOB is 1/01/1980 ... hahaha
but what lead..he wasnt leading anything.. he wasnt saying much what he wanted... i followed all he wanted... have to be gf or bf.. i said ok.. cant go on a trip i was like ok. fine.. so how come then?

then he was causing drama to spice things up. the relationship was getting boring and mundane. gotta keep things interesting with a venus in aries.

Sun Cappy
Moon Gemini
Mercury Sag
Mars Virgo
Venus Aqua


I am also a mars in virgo and i will say you probably did your share of nagging 🙂. your into the small details where as he isnt. your mercury likes his sun but thats about it. your moons are opposite Gem/Sag; still interesting but different needs emotionally. mars in virgo is really good in bed but you may have been to helpful and aries dont like being told what to do.

imo, venus in aqua is too universal for a venus in aries. aries like to be #1 in a relationship, whereas the love of a venus in aqua is spread out. you guys love all of humanity 🙂

your sun in cap can also be controlling...meaning power struggles in your relationship.

mercury in pisces with your aries ex can feel inadequate at times.

Posted by everevolvingepithet

Posted by DMV

Posted by rubystar
haha Dmv your are so spot on... unbelivable...thats exactly how it is...
its hard.. to the point that they know it.. he even told me the other day.... why is it so hard to be without me? .. I was like... what a jerk pffftt
but i just said to him... why would you say that. ha

remember his mercury is in pisces, so his communication style maybe a bit skewed toward being delusional. no offense to the fishies, but you live in an alternate reality sometimes.

he will also sulk and act like a martyr. probably even talks shit about you to his friends. venus and mars in aries cant keep shit to themselves. will paint you in a bad light to his friends. your first impression is usually a wasted effort with these guys.

Shit talking snarks shouldn't really be given that much time or effort, unless they're at least a lil evolved, otherwise you might aswell be dating facebook :/
😛

click to expand

absolutely...

Posted by rubystar
wow.... and i totaly belived we loved each other ... he ven said to me... he will never break with me for small things... only if its huge like cheating... and look at this mess now.
he told me how he told his mum bout me kicking him... and how his mum always thought him to not hit a woman, but now she told him ... how he should have put me in my place ... ( to be honest i think he is just saying this... so i feel bad.. i dont belive it for some reason) ... anyway... his mum left him when he was a baby...and kept leaving him at the monastry... hm

told ya he was talking shit about cha...now if u ever meet his mom, she already has an impression of you. and it wont be a good one.

were u really in love or in love with him being so enamored with you?

Posted by rubystar

Posted by DMV

Posted by rubystar
ah come on... my DOB is 1/01/1980 ... hahaha
but what lead..he wasnt leading anything.. he wasnt saying much what he wanted... i followed all he wanted... have to be gf or bf.. i said ok.. cant go on a trip i was like ok. fine.. so how come then?

then he was causing drama to spice things up. the relationship was getting boring and mundane. gotta keep things interesting with a venus in aries.

no but i wasnt just goin along with it.. i was showing it wasnt cool... but i will only do it if he gives something back...
anyway i still got my leave avail which is due 29th june... so i havnt written anything off... trust me not in this situation nayway...
he even use to threaten me how he is gonna go back home... because he is not from sydney ... he has been living here for a year and a half.... but yea he has used thta up ... couple of times... now it doesnt work... i dont do any of it...

when the time comes.. i will just leave

click to expand

for you it may have seemed like things were boring but mars in virgo likes routine and consistency. its an earthly practical sign. in fact, your aries guy lacks earth in his chart. not as grounded as you.

he seems the relationship much differently than you.

you also have Saturn Sq Neptune in your syanstry. this is really not a good aspect.

—Yet the lightning strike is so powerful, so consuming, so intense, you fall and you fall hard. At first you are floating on air, sky high in your romantic bliss, everything is simply perfect. New vistas of the divine open before you. Then reality strikes. One or both of you are married. You live thousands of kilometres apart. There are children, or perhaps an illness, involved. No matter what the complications, and there are bound to be plenty, you know that somehow you and your lover must be together. You feel it in your soul. It is a deep and painful longing, a longing no one else in the world can understand unless they, too, have met a karmic lover with a Saturn-Neptune connection.??

Posted by rubystar
and i really havnt doen anythign wrong. i know anyone can say this... but truly....i havnt. i could be so nasty to him now... but i still cant thats not who i am... i wish noone any bad... i just dont know what to say.

your love style s are way different. venus in aries liked to pick fight and can be very irrational.

if u want to move one, zero contact.

dont try to be friends with him venus in aqaurius!! let it go. he will be okay, humanity will be okay if you guys arent friends. sometimes venus in aqua gets off on wanting to be friends with everyone and not wanting people to be mad at them.

remember venus in aries falls out of love quickly 2.

your mars in virgo is trying to understand.

stop talking to him.

you probably nagged him to death without realizing it. u have jupiter and saturn in virgo. and you could have been a controlling cappy. you guys didnt match up well.

Posted by rubystar
but how am i gonna get him tho... i cant feel like he has got nothing to think bout...
he has to be thinking of his actions too

who cares what hes thinking.

put your listening ears on 🙂

remember i told you venus in aries likes to get their way. if they dont, temper tantrum. they say hurtful things. this is not the relationship for you clearly.

stop asking why virgo 🙂 its okay not to get the answers sometimes.

Posted by rubystar
he wanted to move in with me... and i wanted to as welll... but i live with my mum and cant just leave her on her own... so i knew in my head i would have to think bout htis more... how i will org it all... so anyway i told him i cant at this stage...
and ever since that time... we have been fighting and at once he told me.... i am a scarry cat and cant plunge in... and am scared of diving in..... ( i did feel that was true but thats cuz i wasn sure we are not rushin into this)
he then tod me i will never leave and will end up living with mum for ever.

ah man.

he doesnt like you anymore because you didnt let him take control of the relationship. he saw u as difficult and u wouldnt just go along with the moving out thing. so he was over it.

your mars in virgo likes to think and take you time. aries is IMPULSIVE!!!!!!!!

your pace is much slower than his. your slowing him down.

Posted by rubystar
hey dmv... how can i red your hidden msg ?

you cant. i blocked it due to the mis spellings and rewote it and re posted it.


geez your mars in virgo is strong!!!

Posted by rubystar

... he is bringing the worst out of me... i dont like it.... I dont want to be like this.... I feel bad that I let myself go and got done by ...as in let myself get so angry etc...

Came in this morning, and read this on page one .. then saw there were 7 pages to this thread ..... like all of the rest of the girls ... you choose to chase an end, even when you know it leads to a bitter one.

I won't read the rest of this thread ... there's no point .... I'm positive it is filled with you talking about how bad your life is with him, and you want it.


Suffer as you wish ..... your heart is obviously bent on it

why did i read this?

UGH!

i want my 5 min back!

your not good for him, hes not good for you......run for the hills find someone quick before its too late....

and dont even try to say u tried to kick him in the leg and "accidently" got his balls. Every woman from a very young age knows her foot is snug and cosy in a guys groin its in their reptilian brain so to speak...

gosh i cant beleive i was once like you.......in a relationship

I think we can all to the conclusion that this relationship is clearly toxic.

At this point, there is more harm/pain than there is happiness/gain.

At this point, there is too much confusion, pessimism, lack of effective communication & insecurity. All of those things make it impossible for the relationship to continue & actually be functional the way relationships are supposed to be.

If I were you, I'd take a step back, come back down to reality, put your feelings aside for a moment, clear your head & think about this from a logical standpoint. There's so many "what if's" & too many questions that will probably go unanswered. You 2 will only drive eachother crazy

If you love him so much, that's great, BUT now it's time to practice loving & being loyal to YOURSELF. If he's meant for you, taking a break & a step back won't hurt or change anything.

If you guys really want this relationship to work out, you'd both do what it takes to make sure the foundation is built on strong trust, communication, respect & honesty. Right now, the relationship doesn't have that solid foundation.

The only way to fix it is to leave altogether, never turn back, be single or go get into a non-toxic relationship OR leave for right NOW & refuse to come back UNTIL things have a chance at being functional

Right now you guys are running on emotional fuel. And that fuel will run out eventually, until you both are left with nothing & stuck resenting eachother for it.

YOu must be joking.


You say that this man is wrong for you, brings out the worst in you .... and then spend your time trying to figure out how to get him.

And if I point this out to you .. I'm being judgemental?


Seriously ... how fucked up is that?


You choose to suffer if you choose to chase a man who fucks you up ... for the fact that you can't handle the truth doesn't make me judgemental .. it makes you ignorant to your self.



BY all means .... chase him, chase him hard .... and then cry your fucking eyes out, because that is what you want to do .. because if you didn't do it, you wouldn't be chasing a man to whom you know causes you to act out your worse traits.


I have a pile of sand you can use to put your head in if you like ... just give me the word and I'll ship over to you.

Of course ..... we already knew you were full of shit when you proclaimed that you wanted to kick him in the leg to make a statement.


We all know you kicked him in the nuts on purpose ... yet, you think you're fooling yourself, and then try to come here to lie to us, as if we are that stupid.


So, naturally .... you aren't actually going to get a truth told to you ... you don't even know the truth of your own actions.


so, really ..... there is no helping you in here, because you haven't even told a true story.

@OP,

i have to agree with P angel. if this guy is so wrong for you, theres no need in trying to figure out how to understand him.

YOU KICKED HIM IN THE BALLS

*clears throat and adjusts tie*

Well your in luck Rubystar because this here is an aries! Yep an aries, and a man. Yourt alking to a real life walking, talking breathing aries how does it feel?

Well Ruby darling, i can tell this from experience. I'm an aries and i don't like being kicked in the testicles.